A/N: So I really wanted to update this fic, and, since I'm not doing anything until 3:30 today, I guess I will!
Disclaimer: I do not take any owner ship of the Scarlet Pimpernel or Les Mis for the time being… :D
Song: "The Creation of Man" from The Scarlet Pimpernel

Enjolras entered Le Café Musain just as he would any other night…

Except this one would be quite different…

Jean Prouvaire noticed him first today, "Enj, you've worn that vest for at least three days now! Why don't you wash it and get a new one?"

"I don't need a new one," Enjolras said as he sat down, mentally preparing himself for another lesson from the dean of the Jean Prouvaire School of Fashion.

"You need more colors, dear, just wearing red all the time does nothing for your complexion!" Jehan scolded, "Peacocks!"

Enjolras glared at him and sighed, "Sink me!"

Jehan mockingly bowed to him, "Thank ye, Sir! How those feathered boys love to flaunt their tails!"

Feuilly grinned, "Stallions!"

Combeferre gasped, "Zounds, Sir!"

Jehan smiled, at leaned in Enjolras's face, "Hounds, Sir! Stags! Of the goosie and the gander, Sir, who's gender is the grander, Sir? To render total candor, Sir, the splendor is the male's!"

Enjolras looked back at him, agog and aghast, "What? Man's duty is to wield the sword, defend the cave!"

It was now Jehan's turn to be agog and aghast, "Gad, no, Enjolras, a male's duty is to uphold the banner of beauty! And you, as our Fearless Leader, must lead the way! Be an example to your sex; give your boot a dapper strap—"

Courfeyrac laughed, "And it's smarter if your garter has some snap."

Jehan waved his pink tie in his Fearless Leader's face, "Cravats should be flounced about our necks!"

Enjolras waved his cravat back in Jehan's face, "I have one of those! See? It's black!"

Jehan tut-tutted Enjolras's excuse, "That cravat must be at leastover a year old, Enj! You have to get up to the fashion and get one like mine!"

Lesgles, wanted to be included, said, "Let the royal coattails flap!"

Enjolras glared at The Eagle of Meaux, "What?!"

Feuilly came over behind him, "Be bewitching with some stitching on your cap!"

Grantaire, not really knowing what was going on, lazily added, "Now drape your cape and puff your cuff, embroider those lapels!"

"No one asked you, Winecask," Enjolras growled between clenched teeth.

Jehan nodded approvingly and helped Enjolras out of his chair, "Be the king of the beasts in pastels!"

Courfeyrac went over to Jehan and placed Enjolras in a triumphant stance, "La, but someone has to strike a pose, and bear the weight of well-tailored clothes! And that is why the Lord created men!"

Enjolras wriggled free of Jehan and Courfeyrac and gave his infamous death glare, "You're a nincompoop, Prouvaire."

The aforementioned mockingly bowed again, "Why thank you, sir!"

Enjolras shook his head, "Always said you were, always said leave the fancy dress to the women! Let me be a Roman, don a tunic. Bare the legs, a-what?"

"Sink me! The man's lost his senses! Bare legs!" Jehan gasped, "Strut, Sir!"

Enjolras was not expecting this, "What sir?"

"Roosters do. Give a cock his comb and the hens will pale. Bucks! Bulls!"

Joly giggled, "More Sir!"

"Boars, Sir! Rams!" Jehan agreed, "Of the nanny-goat and billy, Sir, whose beard is fully wooly sir? It's bully for the billy for he's willy-nilly male!"

Enjolras, for once, couldn't disagree with Jehan's logic, "Well the male animal is dashing of course: robins' redbreast, moose with antlers..."

Jehan put his hand on Enjolras's shoulder, "Sir, Be a lion-hearted prig!"

"Fill those pantaloons with light!" Combeferre shouted. (a/n: that's my favorite line in the whole song :D)

"'Ferre!" Enjolras whined.

"Sorry," the philosopher shrugged, "You know it was bound to happen."

Shaking his head, he turned back to Jehan, "I could dangle down a spangle—out of sight."

"Oh yes, be bold Sir!" Jehan quickly nodded.

"When it's cold slap on that wig," Bahorel said.

"No! He doesn't need a wig! His hair is gorgeous! Like mine!" Lesgles argued.

"You're bald, Bossuet," Joly unnecessarily reminded him.

At this remark, Lesgles proceeded to cry and run away.

Oblivious to that scene, Grantaire unknowingly brought order back, "Draw your breeches in quite tight!" He nudged Enjolras in the elbow, causing the Fearless Leader to sigh angrily.

"Yes, R! Even more so and your torso will ignite!" Jehan said, flailing his arms.

"Now smock your frock," Courfeyrac added.

"Perfume your plume!" Joly grinned.

"What?" Enjolras looked at the hypochondriac, "I'll let my waistcoat swing."

Courfeyrac and Jehan bowed in unison for the 40th time that day, "And the jungle will bow to its king! La but someone has to strike a pose and bear the weight of well-tailored clothes—"

"And that is why the Lord created men,right?" Enjolras shouted.

"Yup, that's right," Jehan smiled.

"Now, strange, there's nothing about it in the book of Genesis..." Enjolras thought aloud.

"Genesis?! Ah, but think sir!" Jehan explained, "Adam was a gentleman in Eden. Though his body was admired, you would grant the adding of a fig leaf was inspired—"

"Oh, a fig leaf did just the job..." Enjolras sarcastically reasoned.

"If you're out to make a splash, Cheri, do know your haberdashery!" Jehan stood on a table, taking Enjolras with him.

"Buttons, buckles, ruffles, and lace!" Courfeyrac and Bahorel threw napkins at Enjolras.

"Represent the human race!" Jehan placed a napkin on Enjolras's head.

"LA….BUT…. someone has to strike a pose and bear the weight of well-tailored clothes! Each species needs a sex that's fated to be highly decorated!
That is why the Lord created... MEN!" Les Amis minus Enjolras cried.

Just then the door opened. Of course, it was none other than that filthy Bonapartist Marius Pontmercy. He set his books down on a nearby table, totally unaware of all the Les Amis crowding around Jean Prouvaire and Enjolras on a napkin-covered table.

"Hey, guys! Did I miss anything?" Marius asked.

Every single member of Les Amis stared at him, and shook their head.