Chapter 2

Inside Oliver's mind

Oliver walked up to Miley. OK, what should I say first? Miley You're hot and I wanna lay you on the night of the school dance.

Are you tryin to be dumb or are you really dumb?

Who said that?

It's me…

Mom?

No idiot, your common sense. Your helper

Who?

Okay never mind just call me Al.

Hi Al! Wait, why the fuck am I dumb?

Cos you are. Look you wanna get a girl in bed you can't just tell her. Look you have to be smart. Plan it carefully

Okay, I get it. Wait I don't get it.

Look , she has a boyfriend right. No relationship on this Earth ever has been perfect. There are bound to be some cracks right. Exploit them

Oh like how Jake is gay

No he's not. That's you wanting him to be gay. We won't know for sure until we have more info.

But he's gay. Tommy said all guys with 7 inch dicks are gay and trust me, last time in the boys shower I checked

What's the MATTER with you?

What? Are you trying to say I'm jealous. Well I let you kn..

I DON'T CARE. Look focus on this. Trust me she tell you anything. Besides, she is your best friend.

That's wrong and you know it.

Who the Fuck are you?

Yeah. Why the fuck are all these voices in my head?

I'm Bale. Your conscious.

What is that?

Basically I'm the opposite of Al. I tell you what you should do. You should end this bet with that small twerp. It could, no would ruin your friendship with Miley.

But hot dog stand..

Let it go.

Principal's balls

Well, how could you agree to such a thing? Are you tryin to be dumb or are you just dumb?

HEY

Besides what would Lilly think?

That's a wonderful idea! Good job Bale. Tell Lilly you love Miley.

Why? WHY?

Cos you and Lilly can plot to get you into Miley's arms. But don't say anything about the sex part. That can wait later.

Why again would she help him?

Cos Lilly hates Jake and besides she would adore the two of you together. I mean her and Jackson. You and Miley. You guys make such a cute quartet.

I see what you're getting at..

No Oliver No Foursome. Just use Lilly to get to Miley.

Ok.

Are you mad? Do you wanna ruin your friendship all over a stupid hotdog?

Look this won't be easy. But like I said. Your reputation and your dignity are stake here. You got two options. Either you lose your virginity to a hot girl, get a hot dog stand as well as maybe fall in love with your best friend or..

Or?

Or you can suck principal balls, have your friends be happy with other men and Let Rico gloat over this till you die.

I don't know. Seems like a tough choice..

Say what?

Bale what do you think?

Is Jake dick really that long?

Bale!!

Alright alright, look when Al puts it like that is sounds simple but believe me its not. I know that you will most likely to what's right.

end

"Lilly!"

"Hey, Oliver." Said Lilly as she checked out her hair in the locker mirror. Lilly and Jackson have been dating for about two months and every night after she talks to Jackson, she would call Oliver telling him how its been going and some advice about boys. After all, Oliver is Lilly longest friend since childhood.

"Lilly, I need to ask you a favour."

"What up my brother? What can the Lillinator do for you? Wait, wait is this about Lucas? Can you can tell him to shove it if he wants to ask me to the dance? I still can't believe that you two are friends!"

"Hey, I need him for my guy needs. There are something we guys just can't share with you girls."

"Like what?"

"Have you noticed that Sharon has the best rack in the school? Or how I wish Josephine would just spread.."

"OK. OK. I get the point. What do you want to ask me?"

"Errr…. Lilly how do you really impress a girl?"

"Say what? Is mr I Leave the Ladies Heartbroken asking me for advice on girls?"

"Well, yes."

"Okay. Okay But first you got to tell me something."

"What?"

"Whose the unfortunate girl whom you have eyes on?"

"I can't tell you that its secret,"

"Cmon Oliver just a clue. Please"

"Nooooo!!!!"

"Just a hint?"

"Ok fine…Ah… She's…er…a…..nice girl.."

"What the fuck of a hint is that?"

"Well, that was your hint. You getting no more from me. My lips are sealed"

" Come on!"

Sighing, Oliver simply scanned the floor till he saw what he was looking for. There were many teachers and students in the hallway all chattering and laughing to each other. Finally he found Miley who was with Jake at the end of the hallway, laughing and flirting with each other.

" Look there. The girl of my dreams"

"MRS SARAH!!!! SAGGY BOOB SARAH?!"

"What?! Are you mental. She's a fourty seven year old woman."

"Is it Michelle?"

"No!"

"Well, only Jake and Miley are left and….Oh no… You got to be kidding?"

"I'm afraid not"

"But you said it was a girl."

"Yes and m…WHAT?!"

"Are you gay? Is that why you like Jake?!"

"No!"

"Is it because of his dick size. I mean I heard the rumors but…"

"NO!!! I mean Miley"

"Oh. …No way!"

"Why not?!"

"Cos she's my pal. And she loves Jake. And she's happy"

"But what about me? Look I know its stupid but I got to try. I mean I thought about it a lot.in geography class and I have decided that I love Miley. I cannot deny it."

"But Oliver…"

"Please Lilly. I mean Jake seems nice and all but what if he turns out to be another Lucas? I will always love Miley and never cheat on her. Please Lilly, I care about her a lot. Besides you don't like Jake that much. Will it be so bad if I tried?"

"Well, probably not. Ok, Oliver. I help you get Miley,"

"Thanks, Lilly. You're the best!" And with that he gave her a hug. Lilly simply laughed and hugged him bac. A sort of wild sensational tingle crawl through her skin. She simply brushed it off…. I mean what could it possibly be.

Far off in a classroom on the opposite side of the school, Rico and Lucas were talking in hushed voices. Jackson happened to be walking by heard the two voices. He stopped when he heard Oliver's name. A gut feeling told him to stay quiet and just eavesdrop. Curious he bent down to listen through the door.

"Look dude, I don't know…I mean Oliver's my friend"

"So what? Relax we both want Miley and Lilly right? To be our girlfriends. Oliver's the key. The donut doesn't even realize how lucky he is. Pals to two of the hottest girls in school. And he calls himself Big Daddy?"

"But, Oliver my friend. I mean I kind of hurt his relationship with his girls by hanging out with him. You know what I did. She obviously won't let me forget it.

Jackson removed his head. What in the blue hell were this two idiots planning? He stooped to listen again.

"…and thats when I kissed…well you know…but Oliver been a real pal. Still sticks with us"

"Yeah but none the less we cannot stop what we're doing. I mean we planned this a long time ago"

"Okay fine but let's agree on one thing. You get Miley and I get Lilly like it was made.."

Jackson removed his head. He felt a surge of anger coursed through his veins. How dare they steal his girl. I going to teach them…no wait…on second thought I'm going to let this got through. Oliver seems to be the man in the middle eh?...Better get the whole story before barging in…

Jackson proceeded to leave the hallway in search of Lilly. Rico and Lucas both leave the room almost instantly trying to look innocent before going in separate directions. Both had only two things on their minds..

Oliver

And how long is Jake's dick?