Iruka was startled the next morning by a knock on his door at only 8am. Grumbling and only half awake, he rolled out of bed and dragged himself to the door, blinking sleepily up at his wake-up call. Kakashi's exposed eye took on an amused glint. "Good morning, sensei. Did I wake you?"

The chuunin muttered something that Kakashi was sure he wasn't actually supposed to hear and shuffled aside. "What are you doing here so early?"

Kakashi ambled inside. "You said to be here bright and early this morning. I promised to be a good student, remember?"

Iruka slammed the door and started his slow trek toward the kitchen. "I don't recall using the words 'bright and early.' Plus, since when are you on time for anything? I thought I'd be waiting half the day for you."

The jounin chuckled at the abnormally grumpy teacher. "Well, your cooking was so good last night that I was half hoping for a repeat for breakfast. Looks like I made it in plenty of time." He followed Iruka into the kitchen and seated himself at the table while the tan man seemed to be working the coffee pot on auto-pilot. He stuffed his hands in his pockets. "My apologies, though." Iruka turned to look at him through half-lidded eyes. "I did assume you'd be up already."

Iruka shook his head, his messy brown hair shaking softly. "Well, I figured, what with me being on vacation and all," he gritted the word out pointedly. "I may as well enjoy the benefits of not having to go to bed or wake up early."

"Sorry, sensei," Kakashi actually sounded sincere. "I can come back later." He rose, but Iruka waved an impatient hand at him.

"Oh, sit down. I'm up now."

Kakashi obediently took his seat again. He watched the teacher wander around the kitchen a few minutes more, smiling lightly to himself beneath his mask. Iruka was always poised... at least in the way a firecracker is pretty and 'poised' before it explodes. He was put together, organized, always on time and on top of things – it was only when he would get riled up that he would lose his cool and explode all over the place, letting just a hint of being frazzled creep out before piecing himself back together again into 'responsible and reliable Iruka-sensei.'

It was… cute to see him out of his element – in loose pajama bottoms that were too long so that he had to shuffle instead of walk normally, a baggy t-shirt, and his normally immaculate hair strewn everywhere. The jounin wondered briefly if the other man was even conscious of the fact that he didn't have his normal put-together demeanor on in front of him, or if perhaps, he was just comfortable around Kakashi.

But that thought flew out of his head as Iruka reached into the oversized pocket of his sweatpants and pulled out a hair tie, yanking the unruly hair away from his face. It wasn't the perfectly coifed ponytail he usually wore, but it made him look a little more 'normal.' Clearing his throat, he attempted to straighten up a little and delivered a mug of coffee to the table in front of Kakashi and seated himself across from him with his own.

He gazed at the silver-haired nin over the top of his mug, the previous sleepiness gone from his eyes. He was now regarding Kakashi with the same guarded stare he usually did when he didn't know what to expect out of the other man.

Kakashi sighed internally. So much for comfort. He tried smiling at the tan man. "So, what am I going to be learning today?"

Iruka carefully placed his cup down. "Well, Kakashi-sensei – "

"Kakashi."

"Hm?" Iruka startled a bit and lost his train of thought, cocking his head, confused.

"You should just call me Kakashi," the jounin explained simply. "After all, I am technically your student right now. You're the sensei."

The chuunin blinked then looked away, scratching at the scar on his nose in an embarrassed manner. "It still doesn't feel right – not using an honorific. You're still my superior."

"Why don't you try it for the day? If you're still uncomfortable, you can go back to calling me whatever you want tomorrow." Iruka looked back at him, searching his features, which Kakashi kept completely sincere. Finally, the chuunin nodded slightly.

"Fine." He cleared his throat to get himself back on track. "Anyway, as I was saying, first of all, we should probably go over a few things from yesterday."

The copy-nin sighed. "We're not still talking about the forced vacation thing, are we? Cuz – "

"Yes! We are!" Iruka slammed his hand on the table to emphasize his point, and his coffee cup momentarily left the table. "You want to learn about normal social interaction? What you did yesterday is not how normal people go about getting someone to do them a favor!" He glared at the jounin who had gone silent. "It is not appropriate to force someone into helping you."

Kakashi scoffed. "I didn't force you. I may have stacked the odds in my favor… slightly, but – "

"You impersonated me and forged my signature without my consent, threatened to come by and bother me every day if I got you in trouble for it, and then broke into my house, and refused to leave until I agreed to help you."

"Well, when you word it like that…" Kakashi grumbled, scratching at the back of his neck somewhat sheepishly.

"Yes, funny how when you word things like they are, you can see just how asinine it is," Iruka deadpanned into his coffee cup.

"But it worked."

Kakashi realized as soon as the words were out of his mouth that that was probably a very stupid thing to say. But it was too late at that point, as Iruka slammed his mug back down, effectively sloshing a good portion of his coffee out of it.

"You really want to bait me into kicking you out right now?" he snapped. "Because pointing out that your idiocy worked on me is only going to make me angry. Yet another thing you should probably refrain from doing to the people who you expect to help you!"

"Alright, alright!" Kakashi held up a hand in a placating manner. "I get it. What I did yesterday was the wrong way to go about asking you for help."

Iruka quirked an eyebrow. "And…?" he prodded.

Kakashi blinked. "And… I shouldn't have done that?"

Iruka sighed, looking exasperated. "What would have been a better way?"

"Uhh…" Kakashi leaned back in his chair looking contemplative. "Well… I mean, I could have blackmailed you, but I feel like that's not the correct ans – "

"You could have ASKED, Kakashi!" Iruka quickly brought his hand up to his forehead, closing his eyes. Oh goody, it was barely 8:30 in the morning, and already he had a headache. The chuunin took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down. How on earth was he supposed to spend an entire day, let alone TWO WEEKS with this man? God, no wonder he had never dated before. Who could put up with him? "You could have asked me," the younger man continued in a calmer and quieter tone. "Like an adult."

Kakashi shoved his hands in his pockets and crossed his legs. "Well, not to be picky, sensei, but… I did. And you said no."

Iruka opened his eyes and gazed at him. "I - …what?"

The jounin fixed him with his trademark lazy stare. "Yes, as you recall, I asked you when I first entered your classroom yesterday. You told me you didn't have time."

Iruka opened and closed his mouth silently a few times. "Because I didn't!" he finally spluttered.

"Right… which is why I found you time by requesting your vacation."

"But you did that before you ever asked!"

"Because I had a feeling you'd say that."

"So – "

"So, I made sure you had the time so you could no longer use that as an excuse."

"Which you did behind my back!"

"But I asked, and you said no because you didn't have time. So I made time."

Iruka shook his head quickly, losing track of the conversation. "What? No! You made time before I said no, not because I said no!"

"But either way, you would've said no even though I asked nicely."

"That's not -"

"So, asking you when I hadn't cleared your schedule first wasn't going to work."

"But you didn't know that before you impersonated me!"

"Same result. I was just doing that for insurance."

"Kakashi…" Iruka's voice held a dangerous tone now.

"I'm just saying, clearly just asking you wouldn't have gotten the result I wanted."

"Well, not everything is about what you want!" Iruka stood quickly from the table, grabbing both cups off the surface, not caring that Kakashi hadn't touched his coffee yet, and slammed them into the sink. "It's not about whether or not you would've gotten what you wanted, Kakashi! If I said no, I said no, and you either could've tried to talk to me again later, without breaking into my house, or you could've found someone else to help you. That's how it works! You don't just get to manipulate the situation so you win no matter what."

Kakashi looked taken aback. "But…"

"This isn't the battlefield! It's not do or die. This is normal social interaction with normal people who you are apparently trying to present a pleasant personality to. Treating social settings as though you're trying to 'win' a fight or complete a mission is just gonna piss people off! Case in point!" The chuunin gestured wildly to himself. "And for the record, you didn't ask, so much as state that you wanted my help and expected me to do it! There were much better ways you could have approached that discussion that might have led me to listen better!"

Kakashi remained silent for a good minute, contemplating the teacher's words. He had never approached… any situation as though he wasn't in control. It wasn't in his nature. In fact, it went against every way he had ever operated. He was Sharingan Kakashi. Man of a Thousand Jutsu. Feared Copy-ninja Extraordinaire. He always won. He had to. Letting other people determine if he got his way or not was just… not right.

He snuck a glance up at the fiery man in front of him who was leaning against the counter, breathing heavily and glaring at him, waiting for his lecture to sink in.

But maybe the chuunin had a point here. Even though he had technically 'won' and gotten Iruka to help him, the look on the other man's face didn't exactly scream victory. He was supposed to be getting better at interacting with people in a social manner – getting them to like him, not just fear him or respect him. And the look he was getting right now from the room's other occupant clearly spelled out that he was not particularly liked right now.

Could he do that? Could he go against everything he had been ingrained with since childhood and accept the fact that social settings weren't always going to go his way as long as he was liked afterward? He had never cared about being liked before… which was probably why he was still single…

Maybe… maybe…

"Iruka-sensei," he finally got out lowly.

Iruka looked at him expectantly.

Kakashi faltered. "I… uh…" He seized up for a second, then swallowed and sighed. "You're right. I'm sorry. If you want me to go, I'll go. I'm sorry to have bothered you with all of this." He stared at the floor solemnly.

Iruka blinked, looking slightly surprised. He had not actually expected it to be that easy.

The teacher sighed wearily and shook his head. The silver-haired man looked much more like one of his nin-dogs that had been kicked rather than the infamous copy-ninja at the moment. "Apology accepted." He calmly sat back down at the table, and Kakashi peeked at him out of the corner of his eye. "I'll still help you."

Kakashi's face relaxed in relief.

Iruka crossed his arms, authoritatively. "Now, let's talk about some of your wording."

The jounin deflated in his chair. Damn, this was gonna be a long morning.

3 hours, 7 cups of coffee between the two of them, and several more painful lectures/arguments later about how Kakashi should not refer to the women he was trying to date as 'targets' or something to be 'obtained,' and the copy-nin was getting shorter and shorter in his seat as he slumped down with each passing minute. Plus his stomach was growling as he had found out that Iruka didn't eat breakfast but just consumed disgusting amounts of coffee in the morning. Jeez, no wonder the teacher was always so full of energy.

He heaved a sigh through his nose which triggered an irate glare from the chuunin. "I'm sorry, am I boring you with the thing you asked me to teach you?"

Kakashi sat up straight again. "I just figured there'd be more 'doing' than just listening to a lecture. Isn't that how people learn best? Besides, I'm getting hungry… not all of us subsist off caffeine."

He waited for the explosion that he was sure was coming, but was pleasantly surprised when Iruka just 'hmm-ed' and then said, "You're right."

"I am?" Kakashi blinked. According to Iruka, he hadn't been right about a damn thing all morning.

Iruka smiled at the obvious shock. "Yeah, I should really see you in action before going any further. How am I supposed to know what to teach you if I've never seen you try to get a date before?" He stood and stretched. "I'm gonna shower. Meet me at Ichiraku's in an hour . We can have lunch and then you can show me what you've got."

Kakashi hopped up, immensely grateful to be out of the stupid wooden chair. "You got it, sensei." He disappeared in a poof of smoke.

Iruka shook his head. "Show-off jounin," he muttered before making his way to the bathroom.

Kakashi, having been up well before Iruka, decided to use his hour to visit the memorial stone. There was no one else there so he had free reign to talk to the dead without looking crazy. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and slouched.

"Hey guys," he muttered. "I had my first 'lesson' with Iruka this morning…... Shut up, Obito, it's not funny…... of course I know what I'm doing…... Everything happens to be going just fine, jackass… sorry, sensei, but he is…"

He shifted around and sighed. "Plus, it's only the first morning, I have plenty of time left…... We're meeting for lunch in an hour and then I have to show off my 'dating skills' to him…... Obito, I swear to god, if you don't shut up I'm gonna use a forbidden jutsu to bring you back just so I can kill you again…... Well, I'm done discussing this with you. What do you think, Rin?... Well, who asked you anyway?"

His exposed eye closed in exasperation. "Yeah, yeah, I know you think I'm crazy too, sensei. I'm just taking your advice, you know…... Close enough…... Well, had you all not gone and gotten yourselves killed, I might be persuaded to try something else, but you're not here, are you? So I have to do this my way…... Yeah, ok, ok, I'm sorry…... I'm NOT gonna screw this up! Do you think you could just back me up? I'm trying to find happiness, here…... Thanks…"

He turned around slowly. "I'll keep you guys updated."

Iruka was just approaching the ramen stand when Kakashi suddenly appeared in front of him. Startled, he shifted backwards and almost lost his balance, but Kakashi was quick and grabbed him by the wrists, righting him before he could fall directly on his ass. "Goddammit, Kakashi!"

The silver-haired jounin smiled sheepishly. "Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you… again."

Iruka fumed in the other man's grip. "Really? Why do I get the feeling that you're doing it on purpose then?"

"Maa, sensei," Kakashi feigned looking hurt. "Don't accuse me of such things just because your reflexes are rusty."

The chuunin gaped but recovered quickly. "You bast –"

"Hey, hey, I'm just kidding!" Kakashi's eye curved up into his trademark smile.

Iruka huffed, but didn't retort. There was silence for a moment before the tan man cleared his throat. "Umm… Kakashi… you can let go of me now," he mumbled, staring at his wrists that were still being held captive by the jounin.

The silver-haired man blinked, looking at his own hands, then quickly released the warm arms from his grip. "Oh, uh… sorry."

Iruka blushed lightly as he looked around, wondering if anyone had witnessed their awkward positioning. He finally shook his head, more to himself than anything. "We should eat." He started around Kakashi to the ramen stand, but he jounin placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Actually, I'm not really in the mood for ramen. There's a new sushi place that just opened up downtown. Let's try that."

"Oh… well, ok." Kakashi smiled at him again, and Iruka was slightly taken aback by how friendly it seemed. Then again, he was doing the man a huge favor, so maybe the jounin was trying to be more civil than he had been in the past few months. He fell into step behind him as Kakashi led them to the restaurant.

"Ok, how about her?"

Kakashi shifted his gaze boredly to the woman at table 13 that Iruka was not-so-stealthily pointing at with his chopsticks. He sighed. "Too skinny."

"You're being really picky."

"Well, it's my life. I get to be picky."

"But these aren't even the women you're actually trying to pick up. They're the pre-test so I can suss out your current abilities."

Kakashi raised his exposed eyebrow. "So I can't refer to them as 'targets' but you can basically call them 'test subjects'? How is that fair?"

"Don't change the subject," Iruka slurred. "You've turned down everyone I've picked."

The jounin crossed his arms. "Well, first of all, you already said you weren't gonna play matchmaker, and I already said I didn't need your help picking anyone. Secondly, we're having lunch. I'd like to just focus on eating."

"You've been done for half an hour!"

"I'm waiting on you."

"Well, I'm done." Iruka pushed his plate away from him. "Now go talk to her."

"I'm not approaching anyone here," Kakashi insisted. "Everyone has already seen you staring and pointing at them."

"Are you questioning my shtealth abilities?"

"Yes, I am totally questioning your 'shtealth' abilities." Kakashi rolled his eye. "You're drunk."

Iruka scoffed. "I am not!" he cried a little too loudly. "I happen to be a responsible teacher."

"Who apparently shouldn't mix his morning gallon of caffeine with afternoon sake."

Iruka's eyes narrowed at him from across the table. He wavered slightly in his seat for a moment while Kakashi stared him down. Then, he smirked. "You're stalling cuz you're scared."

"I am not scared. I just think maybe we should do this at a time when you're not hammered."

"Copy-cat's a copy-chickeeeen," Iruka sang.

"I am not – "

"Bawk, bawkbawkbawk, baaawk." The chuunin had just started to bob his head in imitation of a chicken when Kakashi finally grabbed him by the collar and dragged him out of his seat. He stumbled gracelessly while the jounin reached into his pocket with his free hand and threw some money on the table. He hauled Iruka out the door as the other patrons of the restaurant stifled their giggles behind their backs.

Out in the sunlight of mid-afternoon, the tan man grunted and squinted his eyes. "Ahh! Ok, ok, let me go!" He twisted out of the other man's grip and stumbled a few feet before regaining his balance against the side of the building.

Kakashi glared lightly at him before sighing. "Maybe we should pick this up tomorrow."

"No!" Iruka shook his head and tried to focus on the silver-haired man. "I'm fine. We're doing this. You're doing this." Kakashi stared at him. "I'm serious. I'm fine… I'm fine." He shoved his hands in his pockets and stiffened up so he was standing straight and still. "Let's go."

Kakashi slouched. "Fine. But I'm not repeating this tomorrow if you can't remember it."

Iruka glared at him. "I'm fine," he repeated sounding slightly more sober in his annoyed state.

"Alright," the jounin breathed, sounding unconvinced.

"How about her?"

"How about you let me pick?"

"What's wrong with her?"

"Well, first of all, she once again sees you pointing at her." Kakashi grabbed the tan hand and forced it down to the chuunin's side. "And secondly, she's too blonde."

"Fine, her."

"Too brunette."

"Her."

"Too short."

"Her?"

"Too tall."

"Oh my god! Would you just approach someone already!?"

Kakashi gazed around the throng of people making their way around the center of town. "Fine. I'll go talk to her." He pointed in the direction of a petite girl with glasses who was reading on a bench. He began ambling toward her, but stopped suddenly when he realized Iruka was following him. "What are you doing?"

"I have to hear you."

"You can't come over there with me while I'm trying to ask a woman on a date. I know I'm not good at talking to people, but even I know that's just awkward."

"Well, how am I supposed to observe you?"

"Just wait here. I can re-enact a conversation with you afterward. I may be socially slow but my memory's just fine." He gave Iruka a look and the chuunin held up his hands in surrender.

"Fine. I'll be here." He leaned back against the side of a nearby building and shooed the jounin away.

Kakashi took a deep breath and started approaching the girl again. He stopped halfway there. Iruka quirked an eyebrow. He stood for a minute, then turned around and made his way back to the chuunin who laughed at him. "What the hell was that?"

"I told you yesterday. I don't even know what to say."

Iruka rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Look, just… don't overthink it. Just go up to her and say whatever comes into your head."

"Whatever comes into my head?"

"Yes, the first thing you think of – just say it."

"The first thing?"

"Well, maybe just start with 'hi' then take it from there."

Kakashi nodded. "Yes, 'hi.' That's good… then just whatever comes into my head next."

"Yes."

"Alright, here I go." He turned back around and strode with purpose to the girl. Iruka watched as the jounin made contact and the girl smiled up at him. They spoke for a second, and the girl patted the seat next to her. Kakashi sat down. Well, this seemed to be going just fine.

Then Kakashi spoke and the girl's smile dropped immediately. She yelled something at him, snapped her book shut and stood quickly, storming away.

Iruka blinked and stared after her before running up to the jounin who was leaning back against the bench, looking tired. "What did you say to her!?"

Kakashi sighed. "Well, I said 'hi' like you told me to. She said 'hi' back. I said 'I'm Kakashi,' she said her name was Monoka and asked me if I wanted to have a seat. So I sat. And then she didn't say anything else and the silence was awkward, so…" he trailed off, looking anywhere but at Iruka's intense gaze.

"So… what did you say?" the teacher demanded.

"I said 'how about you sit in my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?'"

Iruka stared for a second, trying to process what he had just heard. "WHAT!?" he finally screeched.

"Yeah, I know, I know," Kakashi waved a hand in dismissal, not looking all that sorry. "That obviously didn't work."

"How – why – what the – your mind!" the chuunin spluttered.

"Look, I'll try again, ok?" Kakashi stood quickly and steered Iruka so he was sitting on the bench. "Just wait here. Here," he reached into the pouch on the back of his waist, producing two headsets. "I forgot I had these on me. You can listen in on this."

"Right," Iruka looked at him skeptically, taking one of the headsets. "Because it's not gonna look strange at all for you to walk up to a woman wearing this on your head."

The jounin secured his own headset then clasped his hands together in quick seals. "Ninja, remember?" The headset disappeared from sight. "I'm not a genjutsu master, but I think I can pull this off," he teased as the tan man huffed at his own thoughtlessness but didn't say anything.

Iruka proceeded to spend the next half hour watching and listening to Kakashi fail miserably at approaching women, with horrible pick-up lines ranging from 'Do you come here often? Cuz I'm about to come here right now,' to 'What are you doing tonight? Besides me?' He finally sped to the jounin and tackled him to the ground when he saw him making the symbols for a fire jutsu right behind an unsuspecting woman. The girl jumped as they landed in a heap behind her and quickly ran away, giving them a weird look.

"What the hell were you about to do!?" he screeched as he picked himself up.

"I was gonna light the hem of her skirt on fire, and then say 'You're on fire. Can I stop, drop, and roll with you?' And then, when she was just thinking that was a cheesy pick-up line, I was gonna push her down and put out the actual fire, and she'd suddenly think of me as a hero."

Iruka's eyes bugged out of his head. "Kakashi!"

"Relax," Kakashi stood and dusted himself off nonchalantly. "It was gonna be a small fire, and I would put it out before she got hurt. I had it under control."

Iruka grabbed at his face. His head was spinning and hurt, but he didn't know anymore if that was from the alcohol at lunch or the idiot in front of him. "Kakashi…" he tried very hard to reign in his temper as he didn't know if his headache could survive anymore yelling at that moment. "Where are you getting these lines?"

Kakashi shrugged non-committally. "You said to say the first thing that came to me."

"And… and these are the first things to pop into your head!?"

"Well…" the copy-ninja scratched the back of his neck. "I don't have any other dating experience to draw on, so I was just going off what I know from other people."

"What other people would say – ?" Iruka suddenly paused as something clicked in his brain. "Oh. My. God." His eyes bore into Kakashi's exposed one. "Are you reciting lines from Icha Icha Paradise!?"

The jounin shrugged again. "Well… yeah. That fire thing's from Volume 5. The heroine is so grateful to have her life saved that they end up doing it in the nearest alleyway, then get married the next day. Of course, I know the books exaggerate a little so I wasn't expecting that, but I figured a more realistic version would be at least a date out of gratitude."

Iruka grabbed at his head with both hands and squatted down, taking deep breaths.

"Umm… Iruka-sensei, are you ok?" Kakashi squatted next to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I don't feel well."

"Those last few shots are probably catching up to you."

Iruka snorted. "Yes, that must be it."

"Let's go home. Do you have all the information you need to assess my current abilities?"

Iruka closed his eyes tightly. "Yep… yep… I think I got a pretty clear picture."

"Excellent."

The chuunin stiffened for a second as he felt a strong arm wrap around his form, and the next second his ears popped and he was landing unceremoniously on all fours in the middle of his living room. His head spun worse than ever.

"Whoops. Ups-a-daisy." Kakashi's arms slipped under his own and he was hoisted to his feet, but he just barely managed to stumble to the couch before collapsing on it with a groan.

"Warn me the next time you plan on using a transportation jutsu," he scolded into the cushion, his voice muffled.

"Sorry, sensei." Kakashi gently repositioned his feet so they were all the way on the couch and started to remove his sandals for him. Iruka made a small noise as though he wanted to protest, but he was starting to drift off to sleep already. The jounin settled the shoes next to the couch and pulled the blanket from the back of it, draping it over the prone brunette. "See you tomorrow."

Iruka was vaguely aware of the front door opening and closing before he surrendered to the exhaustion of the seemingly long day.

The teacher awoke several hours later and blinked his eyes open to peer out the window. The sun was just starting to set. He groaned softly, rolling off the couch. He should really eat something to settle his stomach. 'Note to self,' he thought vaguely as he staggered into the kitchen. 'Day drinking does not sit well with me… especially when it's coupled with Kakashi.'

He sighed as he dug leftovers out of the fridge to heat up. Sure, he knew the jounin was bad with people, but he had never expected him to be that bad at asking women on dates. The reality of the task he had agreed to was finally sinking in.

Before, two weeks had seemed like more than enough time to get the jounin on a date.

Now it seemed like an impossible deadline.

If you enjoyed, I appreciate the reviews!

DixieGoddess