How can I touch you the way I'm supposed to do?
You Don't See Me
02
Elliot is blessed right now. If he were sober, married, or still partners with her he's sure his conscious would have kicked in. But he's single. And he has enough alcohol in his system to say he's not 100% at the moment.
He wonders what she would do if she were to turn around. He can imagine the anger, embarrassment, and shock showing in her face. She would glare at him while her body flushed in front of him. She would probably jump forward and hit him.
The thought of Olivia's hands on him though...
Elliot closes the remaining distance between him and his former partner. The song that is currently playing is coming to an end and he jumps at the opportunity before he loses his chance to sneak in. He hesitantly places his hands on her hips, keeping a few inches between them.
Olivia freezes. Almost immediately, the hand that had been smacking away the other men grabs his right wrist and pulls it off of her hip. He prepares for the rejection but their hands remain suspended in the air next to them.
The idea that she would recognize him so easily is astonishing. But he finds that hard to believe.
Elliot takes the opportunity to push his hand back on her hip. He hears the gasp fall off her lips and Elliot has to suck in his own breath. He takes a step forward so their bodies are in full contact.
"Elliot?"
"Shhh." His response is immediate.
He can sense the confidence he had about a minute ago start to fade. Now that he's behind her, he can feel the warmth of her body, the heat of her fingers wrapped around his wrist. Her scent surrounds him and it has suddenly become difficult to breathe.
The hips that he holds onto start to turn toward him and he tightens his grip, pulling her back into his body.
"Elliot." His name falls of her lips, only a whisper between breaths and he can hear the confusion in her voice.
"Don't," he tells her. "Don't turn around."
"What?"
"Shhh," he repeats.
He can feel the air around him thicken. He's sure the wheels are turning in her head, but he's just thankful she hasn't pulled away from him yet. He isn't sure what he's doing. He needs a game plan because right now he's completely dumbfounded and he's afraid if she turns around he will do something incredibly stupid.
He's surprised when he feels her relax against him. He can hear a deep intake of breath and he wishes he could see what's going on in her head right now. He can't seem to form any logical thoughts. His head is cloudy, and at this point he's not sure if it's the alcohol affecting his system.
He's intoxicated by the one and only Olivia Benson. His partner of twelve years...his partner that he hasn't seen in over a year. He squeezes his eyes shut and rests his head on the back part of her right shoulder. It takes him a minute to identify the lump that's formed in the back of his throat. When he realizes it though, it's too late and a small sob escapes on an exhaled breath.
The hand around his wrist squeezes.
"Olivia..." He whispers her name. It's nothing but a mumble into her back but he knows she heard him.
The music starts to pick up and he wonders how long they've been standing here, frozen in the middle of a dance floor. He can feel the atmosphere change as the clubbers begin to move once again.
He realizes he should probably get off the floor but he really doesn't want to ruin whatever is going on right now.
"El…" Olivia's left hand brushes across his fingers, pausing on his ring finger. She strokes the bare skin for a moment before Elliot took hold of both of her hands, pulling them away from his body.
His hands encircle hers. It was such a simple gesture, but something he had never done before. He rests their hands on his stomach, using his right one to cover both of hers, preventing them from exploring anymore. With his left hand, he hesitantly moves up along her waist, coming around to her back and pausing above her shoulder. With a swift motion the hair covering her neck is moved to the side.
His hand lingers for a moment before sliding down to rest along her waist again. He can feel her breath quicken and he smiles because he's the reason for it. She's wearing a dark blue blouse that leaves enough exposed for some looks, but not enough for her to seem…thirsty.
Although seeing her like this is driving him a little crazy, he's managed to keep his control. After all, they haven't seen each other in over a year. They've already crossed more lines in the amount of time they've been together on this dance floor then they had in twelve years of partnership.
He didn't mean for his lips to brush against her neck, but when they did, he nearly lost his self-control right there.
Once again, Olivia attempted to free herself from his grasp and turn into him. His strength quickly took over though and he pulled her back flush against him. By doing that though, he had freed her hands and next thing he knew her right hand was wrapping around his neck and Olivia started moving to beat of the song playing overhead.
Thoughts?