"Grandma"

Opening the backdoor of the car I unbuckled Ashton's car seat, helping them out before they were long gone from my arms. I chuckled as I watched my 3 year old child run to my mother. It was beautiful to see. never would I in a billion years expect to be standing here watching my baby, my own created baby as they grasped my mom's hand. It was still something that quite surprised me. But I was happy. Because I couldn't love them anymore than I do now.

"Hurry up daddy"

"Be there in a sec sweetie"

Closing the car door I made my way to the trunk, the pop alerting me it was now open.

"Happy birthday son" mom said as she made her way to me, giving me a side hug."Actually Dan, leave most of the stuff in the trunk. Where going to a party the lesters are having." I paused my previous action, my muscles suddenly becoming tense from the familiar name, my breath hitching from fear.

I turned to my mother who was holding Ashton in her arms, a calm look on her face.

How could she be calm in this situation. She just told me we were going to my ex's parent's house. The same ex I thought was my best friend, the ex I loved, the same ex who left me when I was pregnant and scared. Calm was definitely not the emotion I was feeling right now. I really did not want to be in the presence of ph-, him.

"Mom the lesters. You know why I can't go there" I said closing the trunk, refusing to make eye contact with her. "Dan darling come on. It's been 5 years. It's about time you start reconnecting with them or at least show up in their presence. He won't be there if that's what you're worried about dan." She said, her voice softening at the last sentence.

I focused my attention on my feet, tears threatening to spill. I really was scared. Being reminded of the pain, fear and heartbreak I went through when Phil left. It was terrible. I spent 18 years of my life without a best friend. And then I found him. I found Phil. And he made me happy. He was the only thing that could at that time. I know I shouldn't love him anymore and that I should despise him. But I couldn't. I could not ever stop loving him, even from the night where he kicked me out. Leaving me stranded on the dark, cold,wet, streets. Even when he said all those terrible things. I was still attached to him. I gave him part of me and left it there. And he continues to carry all my love. I couldn't fall in with love anyone after him. And I couldn't even love myself.

"Daddy"

The sound of my sobs began to fill my ears as I took notice of my surroundings. Lifting my head I smiled at Ashton taking her from my mother's arms.

"Lets go then" I say putting on a fake smile as Ashton wiped away my tears with her small hand.

"Don't cry daddy"

"I won't. I promise"

#########Phil's pov###########

Standing in front of me was the door of my old house. This place held a lot of Memories from when I was younger. It felt kinda wierd being here, now 28. The outside was decorated with streamers and balloons and a 'happy birthday' banner. I had no idea who's birthday it was, and my mom didn't mention their being a party when I came back. My grip on my suitcase tightened as I pushed the doorbell, the familiar sound filling my ears.

"Phillip" Martyn my older brother said as he tackled me with a hug.

"Martyn don't call me that"

"sorry I just missed you mate. Come in" taking my suitcases from me Martyn and I entered the house, my eyes scanning the new and old items.

"Who's the birthday banner for"

Out of the corner of my eye I saw him tense before relaxing again.

"Where having a birthday party for a friend of ours. You should join in on the party"

"Na I think I'll just stick to my room. Being social isn't my thing."

"Whatever you say little brother" he said ruffling my hair as he passed me.

After fixing my fringe I made my way to the table standing in the corner of the room that held our old pictures. I grimaced at the pictures laughing at how adorable and wierd they all looked. I took one specific picture in hand, the old clay frame with cute little characters bordering it as my eyes locked on the picture.

A

smile spread on my lips. It's been a while. So many memories and so much more to make. Moving over to the last picture I saw on the desk, holding it delicately in my hand I observed it. It was a odd one out. It seemed very new and up-to-date compared to the other pictures on the table. It held a smiling baby similar to the other pictures but I couldn't recognize who it was. Flipping the delicate picture over I stared at the back which held the date . October 29 2012 (author: you had no idea how badly I wanted to make it October 19 instead of 29)

That was only 3 years ago. Why would my family have a 3 year old baby. Placing the image back I went to my old room putting my suspicion behind me.

################dan pov############

The sky was growing slightly darker as I drove down the long road, the sound of Ashton's batting feet being the only thing to distract me from my anxiety as I cast glances at her in the rearview mirror to check that she's okay.

My mom continued to talk asking questions about how I've been and if I made any friends. I felt like a little kid. But she was right. After Phil left I didn't really have any friends. J just had myself and my baby.

"Oh. We're here." Mom said jumping excitedly in her seat causing me to laugh. It was a casual neighborhood. Many trees and houses littering the area. But I remembered it all from the Times I've been here with Phil. Once I was finally parked as I tried to find space in the liter of cars there for the party, I made my way out unbuckling Ashton from her carseat and lifting her into my arms, taking a few of her things with her. Locking the car door I made my way to the doorstep glancing at the decorations around the yard.

"They did this for you"mom said smiling.

"Ok maybe they're not that bad"

"You should trust me more often"

I stuck my tongue out at her as we laughed.

The door opened revealing Phil's mum.

"Hello. Come in you guys must be freezing."

Stepping inside I placed sleepy Ashton on the couch.

"Dan it so nice to see you again" Phil's mum as she embraced me after my mom.

"It's nice to see you too" I said returning the embrace.

"Oh and this little one has grown so much" she said smiling at the half asleep child

"Well the party'll begin in a few minutes so you can just relax and hang around till then."

"Ok thank you" she left with my mum as they began to chat. Sitting down next to Ashton I took out her blanket gently cradling her body. I've come to learn that she had a pattern of being completely hyper then she would be fast asleep. What did I do to deserve such a beautiful baby girl.

"Hey dan." I looked up to see martyn Phil's older brother making his way down.

"Hey Martyn"

############Phil pov###############

Pj:" so hows the trip"

Phil:" boring so far. I've been stuck In my room for hours cause their having a birthday party for some friend

Pj:"aww you poor thing. We both know how socially awkward you are. At least join the party a Little, you deserve to have fun"

Phil: "but-"

Pj: "no buts phillip there'll be cake. Do you really want to skip CAKE"

Phil: "ok peej, I'll try my best. But no promises."

Pj: "that's what I wanna hear. Talk to you later Phil."

Phil: "later peej"

Hanging up I flopped onto the bed, my phone bouncing as it hit the soft matress. I took into consideration what pj said. I honestly didn't want to go down there and have to communicate with strangers. The thought just scared the heck out of me. I'm tired of being asked stupid questions like how I've been or hows life because everytime it's just gonna be answered with fine. I didn't want to pretend like I'm fine when I honestly wasn't. Parties are just not my thing. Putting on my headphones, I drowned out my thoughts, my muscles relaxing as I absorbed the lyrics.

"Phil"

"Yeah" removing my headphones I turned to face my brother who was standing at the doorway.

"Are you gonna come down for the party." He said a happy tone set in his voice

"Yeah. Just give me a minute"

"Alright, don't take too long."

The door closed leaving me to my silence. I could hear his footsteps, as he went down the stairs. From what I could tell he was talking to someone. the voice was slightly familiar but not in this household, most likely one of the visitors. I creeped out the door sitting closer to the steps to hear better

"You having a good birthday mate"

"Yeah it's great. It's really nice of you and your family to do this for me."

"No problem, you're like family to us"

"Thank you martyn. That means alot"

"You're welcome dan"

My breath hitched as a small gasp escaped my mouth.

Daniel Howell was here

please tell me what you think. I'm still thinking I don't use enough details.