Part 1: Carol
As soon as that one, fateful word left her lips, Daryl pulled her towards him and kissed her. He tasted of whiskey and cigarettes, but it wasn't unpleasant, it was intoxicating. His lips were firm, his tongue was hungry.
Sometimes, when she kissed Ezekiel, she felt tiny flames of passion. But not like this. This was all consuming. Her whole body burned with desire for him.
He caressed her back, moving his hands downwards until he reached her ass. She echoed his movements, tracing her hands around his hard, round ass. She wanted him so badly. But she couldn't escape the niggling thought at the back of her mind, the thought that grew stronger with each moment she kissed the man she loved.
You shouldn't be doing this.
The thought was strangling her. She couldn't concentrate. She couldn't breathe. She pushed Daryl away from her body, breathing heavily.
His face fell. "Did I do summ't wrong?"
"No!" she reached out and took his hand as guilt clenched her heart. She'd cheated on Ezekiel. God knows how many times Ed played around. She should've known how much it would hurt him.
But worse still, as Carol looked into Daryl's wounded eyes, she knew that she'd hurt him too. He was the most important person in her life. Guilt, regret, and shame scorched her. Whatever she did next, she'd be hurting someone she loved.
"You did nothing wrong." she pleaded. "It's me. I shouldn't be doing this."
Carol felt as if her mind were split in two. Her sensible side had encouraged her to stop. She had to put others' needs above her own. She'd made a vow - not only to Ezekiel but to Henry as well. She loved them both and she loved her people - she owed it to them all to honor her marriage.
But Carol's other side, her fearless mind, had told her to stop worrying about everyone else and to do what she wanted. And she wanted Daryl. She'd wanted him since the day he gifted her a Cherokee rose, promising her he'd find Sophia. She'd always wanted him, even though she forced a relationship with Tobin and ran away from Alexandria. He was the reason she left. She'd lost so many people she loved. She'd known how much pain that had caused her. She couldn't even begin to imagine losing Daryl.
That was the other factor swaying her sensible side. If she chose Daryl, she would no longer be able to hide from her feelings. They'd only intensify. It would destroy her.
"I'm marrying Ezekiel." Carol forced herself to say. "I'm sorry."
Her stomach dropped as she watched Daryl's face switch from confusion to anger.
"Yer can't!" He shouted. "Yer don't wanna!"
"It's not about what I want." Tears once again filled her eyes.
"Henry won't care if yer don't get married."
"It's not just Henry. I promised Ezekiel-"
"Y'aint in love with him!"
"I know!" the tears were falling now, almost choking her.
He, too, was crying. It broke her heart. Stupid, stupid, stupid. She'd been reckless with the man she'd loved more than anything, and they'd both lost.
She reached her arms out to his, thinking he'd push her away, but he didn't.
"Don't marry him." he whispered, "don't."
"It's not that simple."
"Yer said y'in love with me, and I'm in love with yer!"
"I am in love with you Daryl, I love you so much it hurts." She cried into his chest. "But I can't be with you."
His voice was quiet, broken. "Why?"
You can't lose him. You can't lose him. "I can't...I can't lose you."
"I ain't goin' anywhere. I ain't leavin' ya, Carol."
Her reckless side was fighting again. She'd tried to leave Daryl so many times. First at the church, when she'd tried to flee in the middle of the night. He'd stopped her. Then she fled Alexandria, but he'd turned up on her doorstep. And now, the day before her wedding, he was here again. He always would be. He's not leaving you.
"But what if...what if you die?" Now that she'd finally voiced her worst nightmare, she felt almost relieved. He knew. He knew what she was afraid of.
"Hey, we got nine lives," he whispered softly. "Remember?"
Part 2: Daryl
His heart felt like it could no longer take it. To have Carol, and then have her consumed by fear - it broke him. She couldn't marry Ezekiel, not now he knew she didn't want to. She deserved to be happy.
"Yer need t'be happy, Carol," Daryl soothed, using his softer voice, the only he only used for her. "Would yer really be happy if yer married him?"
He pulled her close to him and began stroking her hair, listening to her breathe.
"No." She sighed.
He stayed silent, not wanting to press her. A moment passed before Carol looked into his eyes and raised her lips to his. He ran his fingers through her hair as he kissed her, before moving his hands lower, encircling her collarbone, and then moving down to her breasts.
He wanted her. He wanted her so badly. He opened his eyes, searching for his bike. The first rays of dusk could be seen on the horizon.
"Let's get outta here." Daryl sounded breathless. "Now, b'fore ev'ryone wakes."
"And be a runaway bride?" She chuckled. "I need to tell Ezekiel."
"Yer gotta pen?" Daryl urged, desperate. The sooner they escaped to A2, the sooner he could have her. All of her.
"Inside," Carol smiled as if sensing what he was thinking. "I'll be back."
Part 3: Ezekiel
Sunlight streamed through the windows, bathing him in white light. Ezekiel woke and groggily turned towards Carol. Her side was empty.
Usually, the King wouldn't worry. She often woke before him, to help Nabila tend the gardens or prepare breakfast for Henry.
Besides, it was their wedding day. God knows how much time women needed to prepare for it, and he wouldn't care anyway. Carol was most beautiful in no makeup at all.
But that morning, Ezekiel couldn't mask the uneasiness that lay in the pit of his stomach. It was warning him that something was very, very wrong.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw it. Laying on Carol's pillow was a letter. He sat up, feeling sick, and tore it open.
Ezekiel,
I wish there was a way that I could do this without causing you pain. I never wanted to hurt you or Henry. I suppose that's why I agreed to marry you. I thought it would be best for everyone - but I was wrong.
I love you, Ezekiel, but you've never truly had my heart. It was never mine to give. I'd lost it to another, long before I met you.
He had to drop the letter. He had to breathe. His insides were screaming, his mind, too.
You knew. You always knew.
As his fingers trembled, Ezekiel forced himself to continue.
I tried to hide it. Do you remember when we met? You thought I was walking away from love. You were right. I'd lost so much. I couldn't lose Daryl too.
Ezekiel winced, recalling that day, how she'd paused at the word love. A few weeks later, after Carol had settled in her cottage, a dirty redneck had arrived from Alexandria. Where she was from.
He'd seen him head towards the cottage. Ezekiel had just been to check on Carol, but she'd told him to go. He'd watched him knock on the door, watched her open it, watched her face melt into emotion.
She loved him.
Ezekiel hadn't been able to tame the green-eyed monster within him, but he tried not to let it show. Carol had seemed to want to distance herself from the redneck, and instead, she grew close with the King. She fought the war with the Kingdom, and once it was won, she stayed there.
You thought she'd moved on.
He'd wanted Carol since the moment he saw her, but he didn't push her. He thought she'd grown to love him, too. Stupid.
Even though it hurt, Ezekiel forced himself to finish the letter.
I've tried to run from my feelings, but I can't. I thought that if we married I could pretend to be happy, but that isn't fair to either of us.
I'm in love with Daryl. I have been since the beginning of the outbreak. I thought that if I ignored it, tried to deny it, my feelings would disappear, but they've only intensified.
That doesn't mean I don't want you in my life. I care about you deeply and I hope, in time, that we can resume our friendship. I want to continue to raise Henry. We can still be a family if you'd like.
I'm going to stay in A2 for as long as you need space. I hope that one day you will forgive me, but most importantly, I hope that you will find someone that can love you in the way you deserve.
Carol.