Chapter 2

Dreidall Hawking, The Skag Rider

Stepping out of my little shack to meet the early morning Pandora breeze. Guess I'm going to have to adapt to the winds today. The bandits would no doubt be making a run at me again like they all do. The price I pay for being the only thing standing in the way of the town of Hillview. I adjusted my duster and cowboy hat before closing my shack door. Yeah I know, the town has a pretty bad name right? It got that name from the big hill just sitting outside the town. That was the easiest way to find it. Other than that you have to drop down from some canyons because the town sits smack dab in the middle of a canyon and I so happen to sit at the entrance. You may ask what I do for a living and I'll make it simple to understand: we hunt. Me and my pet skag Skagella. Aside from hunting I screw around with bandits as a hobby. Kill their men, disable their plumbing, steal their nudie magazines, and steal their supplies.

Squish

"God damn it Skagella!" The big skag popped her head out of the ground. I glared at her, "I told you to crap in the plains down below!" She ducked back down into the entrance of her end of the base of operations I had. "Yeah you better get back down there before I stick your nose in it."

God almighty I knew something smelled funky outside. By funky I mean something that smells like the child of Death and a sewer. Time to call the little caretaker bot. Cleaning up after a Queen Skag of Skagella's size is a death sentence more suited to something without nostrils. I clapped and climbed up the small watch tower I had. A rusted looking CL4P-TP steward bot came out of a small shed next to my shack. It was Hyperion colors and was completely devoid of all the quirks that made claptraps well, claptraps.

"What do you need Dreidall," it asked in a deep and robotic monotone voice. It had no personality whatsoever, a flaw in it being disabled in a bar's closet for an extended period of time. Guess this model had older parts.

I sat down in the chair and looked out of the canyon and beyond, "I need you to clean up that poop from Skagella and go dump it in the killing field please."

"Yes sir."

Useful little guy. He was worth 1000 credits because he's saved me more than that in repairs and other things around the home. Well I guess I should take a gander at the perimeter scans. Hmm...looks like nothing on the cliffside or other entrance of the town. Yeah the town doesn't pay me to just slouch about at one entrance. I made sure I had hidden cameras and motion trackers on the canyons and roads into town. No I don't know how to build that stuff, I can only fix my emergency vehicle and the minor electronics around my base. My mama never raised a tech genius and there are others on Pandora who are whizkids if they weren't so psychotically awkward most of the time. I let Jeeves handle my electronics.

"Well I guess it's time to wait for the predictable bandit attack," I said to no one in particular.

Placing my feet lazily on the guard wall of my watchtower, I watched Jeeves roll down to the open space where the bandits would usually die at and dump the "landmine" on the ground and Skagella was playing with a life size bandit chewtoy. Then he burned the bag with a pocket flamethrower he made just for the occasion. I'll ask him to clean my boot when he gets back.

…...

Just like my schedule to continue being right.

"One for the money!"

BANG

"Two for the show!"

BANG

"Three to get ready and..."

BANG, BANG, BANG

"Go, go, go."

Five bandits dead in one cliché rhyme. I looked over at Jeeves. He seemed to be having fun on a little turret he built for just these kind of occasions. He had a mobile turret that could attach itself onto my wall.

"Eat my bullets! Eat them!"

I thing a robot shouting violent sentences on a personal megaphone while shooting a turret is just as scary as a lone sniper. Just wait till the coup de grâce though and they saw what I'm really known for.

"Let's see," I thought. "They've set up minor fortifications with their vehicles but they're not gonna make a move. Jeeve's anti-rocket system is picking off their rockets (thank you for that you little Hyperion devil) and nothing is showing up on the other radar scans. I'll wittle them down some more before me and Skagella go to town."

So I stood my ground with Jeeves. For about two more hours and barely making a dent in my stockpile of ammo, I kept killing them when the opportunity presented itself (which was all the time but I told Jeeves to toy with them with me. They really are hell bent on getting that "protection fund" from Hillview. From the 30 varied bandits that tried to attack, there were 15 left. I think it's time.

"Skagella!" She looked up when I said her name. There was an intensity in her eyes that appeared when she was itching for a fight. "You ready girl?" She lifted her head to the sky and let out this ear piercing screech. It even put chills in my bones and I don't even have to worry about her attacking me. I take that as a yes. I leave my position and give Jeeves an order to keep them busy so I could saddle her up. By the time I was done doing so she was practically pawing a ditch into my yard. She was easily 8 feet long and a good 3 feet wide at the shoulders. She was a monster but she is my monster and I would go back and grab that injured queen skag pup every time if I was given the chance again.

"Jeeves open the door!"

"Yes Dreidall. Opening Door function activated. Slaughter those bastards Dreidall."

It sounds so funny when he says stuff like that, what with monotone voice and all.

"Alright girl," I whispered in her ear, "lets ride!"

We charged out the door and when we were down the hill, I readied my rifle. I could shoot a sniper rifle one handed better than anyone on Pandora. One bullet, two dead. Just the way I like em. Shooting with my sniper rifle is inefficient still on my mount but spraying with my TMP's is my usually goal when me and Skagella tag team our foes. Switching the gear out, I felt the bullets bounce off of my pet's biological shield. Just so you know, she got that shield when she ate a nest of Stalkers and adapted to use a shield like some them. Oh sorry I got lost in thought. Back to the fight.

"You get a burst! You get a burst! Everyone gets a burst!" I cried while shooting the bandits with bursts from my two TMP's. I was shattering shields, killing the unprotected, and even blew up one of the runners they were driving. My cowboy hat stayed firmly on my head as I directed Skagella to leap over the barricade of cars.

"AHHHHHH-ack!"

Heh, heh. Poor bastard got caught under my girl's weight. She's just the right size for squishing people if she wants to. I peppered the surrounding foes with grenades and bullets in order to protect Skagella's flank while her shield protected her front. She severed a bandit in two and caught one in her mouth to shake him around like he was her chew toy before throwing him away limp. Soon it was all down to chasing them down as they ran away. I usually let the big girl have her fun when it came to hunting the fleeing bandits as I cleaned up the bodies with Jeeves. Man skags get all the fun sometimes. What? You think I'm a little crazy? Of course I am. I was born on this asylum of a planet and I have a queen skag and a Hyperion claptrap unit as my only friends. I kill people and hunt animals for a living as well as doing the odd job as a mercenary. I can put a bullet in someone's brain at 1600 yards from atop a running skag and I despise most people. Yes I think I'm a little crazy. Jeeves then lit the pile of bodies on fire as Skagella tossed the last screaming psycho on. An antenna suddenly poked out of his body and a beeping was heard.

"Dreidall, you have a call coming in from Hillview."

"Thank you Jeeves. Send it to my ECHO device." He helped by being a secretary too. What a wonderful little guy. "This is Dreidall Hawking, Sentinel of Hillview, how may I help you?"

A shaky voice answered, "Mr. Hawking, is the fighting done?"

"Oh howdy there Stanley. Yeah, everything's good. A few scratches but I-..." Skagella growled. "We handled it."

"G-good. If you want I-I'll get the payment to you when you visit. We're all glad you are okay."

I swear to god Stanley must be scared of me. I wonder why?

"Thanks Stan. See you guys later."

He stopped me before I could hang up.

"Wait, wait, wait Mr. Hawking. We would like to ask a favor of you since you're the only one around who can really investigate."

Hmm, a quest perhaps. "Go on," I tell him.

Stanley cleared his throat before continuing, "During your regularly scheduled fight, Jenny Calhoun heard a distress signal on an emergency frequency coming from a town. We didn't plan to do anything but..." He then paused.

"But what Stanley?" I said to press him.

"The e-en-entire town may h-have been wiped out a-a-and the culprits are most l-likey the bandits that have been a-a-attacking us."

The Fort Holdout bandits? I figured they were hitting other towns and probably kidnapping and raping people when not paid. But murdering an entire town?

"Send the money to my shack Stanley. I'll leave Jeeves to take it. Me and Skagella will go investigate so send me a marker for the town. I think I'll take some extra measures and stake out any of the local outposts for Banner's Brigade. If they wiped out a town, they had to have taken stuff. How long ago did this emergency call come in?"

"It came about an hour ago. Jenny tried to send a reply but she got nothing. We were thinking of sending a message up to Sanctuary if they didn't already know but we figured you'd want a piece of the action."

I placed my hat on my head and responded, "Send me the town's location and send my payment for the town defense to Jeeves. I'll investigate and then we'll decide on whether we call Sanctuary. Their Vault Hunters don't always have the time to deal with the 'little people'. I'll talk to you later Stanley."

"Good luck M-Mr. Dreidall." Stanley then signed off and a new quest appeared.

"Jeeves. You know what to do. Take care of the place and sit tight unless I call you. Take these scavenge the current battlefield and take anything that has any possible value or usefulness. Treat yourself to something nice. You've more than earned it."

"Yes Dreidall. Good luck to you and Skagella." He then proceeded to poke around the pile of gear we stripped the bandits of and load it all in a trailer connected to my runner.

I had restocked the ammo on my person with that of the ones from the dead attackers. "C'mon girl!" I then swung myself onto her saddle. "Let's ride!"

…...

"That's definitely a convoy alright. They seem to be transporting quite a few things but that one crate in the middle has four guards with rocket launchers." I looked away from my sniper scope and looked over at my pet and friend. "What do you think girl?"

"Hrrg?"

"Yeah, I didn't figure you'd know. Now what is this jackwagon doing?"

There was a guy with purple hair wearing gray and white combat fatigues, looking at the convoy with some binoculars. He must not be good about dealing with tails because he was being ambushed by some bandits right now. I had been following him for hours, hiding in the hills and rocky terrain out of his sight. The truck on the plains towards the bandit holdout was the only thing he'd ever avoid.

"Alright Skagella, let's get a little closer. Keep quiet like I showed you," I told her before getting back in the saddle. For a huge skag the size of a car, she was one of the most silent hunters I've ever seen. Just like me!"

So we got closer and no one saw us. I heard the purple haired guy say, "Your convoy caught my eye so I figured I'd check it out."

I'm pretty good at reading people for being as antisocial as I am and I think he was lying. Thing is: it was a damn good lie. He had the tone, the posture, and the look. Spec Ops? Hard to believe because of the medic cross on his back.

I then heard the mention of slag treated torture tools and clicked the safety off my rifle. I'd rather save the stranger than the bandits. Then the guy surprised me, and kind of startled me a bit. He just suddenly snapped the guys arm like a twig, drew a blue revolver, and absolutely annihilated 3 of the 5 bandits. One of them (who seemed like he was dropped on his head as a child) and Shotgun Richard. Then the guy just kneecaps Rich by clubbing him with the shotgun. I was certain the guy was going to kill him but the dumb one started begging. "Slag-Head" stood his ground and then let the two go. Who the hell lets two bandits go?

"Is this guy stupid?" I wondered aloud to Skagella.

However...I didn't kill the two, who's skulls were in my sights. I don't know why and I couldn't come up with a good reason as to why. Then I noticed a small dust cloud off in the distance. Yeah bitches that's right: I have greater than 20/20 vision and with no cybernetics. I'm good like that. Anyways it seemed like only a vehicle or stampede could make that kind of cloud. This holdout was probably going to have company.

"Let's pay this guy a visit. We're going to have company Skaggy."

So I crept up on the guy (on Skagella's back mind you) and literally scared this guy. He's either super dense or I'm just that good.

I told him his pistol pointing was not a nice way of greeting a friendly. He said, "Who said you're friendly?"

Really? So I filled him in.

"Says the guy who's been watching you for hours down the barrel of a sniper rifle and who didn't let the giant skag eat your oblivious ass. Were you trying to be stealthy? If so then you've only remained hidden from the convoy. From someone who is using military tactics, you failed to watch your back from a tail. Two of them to be precise."

So we had a little chit-chat and then I pointed out the now visible fuel tanker barreling down on Fort Holdout. I asked him if he wanted to get after the bandits now.

"Holy crap is that a person?" he asked as a form ejected from inside the truck cab.

That thing then blew up as soon as it hit the wall entrance. We both decided to assist the lone guy we saw get out of the ejection seat and charge the fort. He was in a new type of runner I hadn't seen before and I was on my trusty steed. I kept up with him and we made our way to the bandit stronghold and prepared for a fire (get it?) fight.

"Yippey-ki-yay mother buster!" I shouted when we neared it.