Gracias a AkariMichi y a Mikemasters por sus opiniones y por su apoyo. :D Y a todos los que la han leído hasta ahora.
He tratado de contenerme. He tratado de no pensar en lo que he hecho. Es terrible que no pueda hacerlo. Mi pobre hermano ha dejado de sonreír. Ha dejado de sonreírme.
Esa hermosa sonrisa, que me llenaba de alegría, que me inspiraba un amor tan profundo, que me colmaba de orgullo al verla hacerse más grande al verme hacer bien mi trabajo, la he perdido.
A pesar de saber que he perdido el lugar que me correspondía dentro de la mente y el corazón de mi hermano, no puedo detenerme. No puedo. No puedo lograrlo. ¿Por qué?
Algo malo me ha sucedido, ¿pero qué? Tal vez deba pedir ayuda. Pedir ayuda a Donnie. Antes de hacer más daño. Antes de seguir manchando el cuerpo y el alma de Leo. Mi Leo.
No. No puedo llamarlo mío. Ni siquiera pude confesarle mis sentimientos, antes de atacarlo. Antes de haberlo mancillado. Antes de haberlo hecho mío por la fuerza. Ahora no importa.
Debe odiarme. Yo me odio. ¿Cómo podré recuperarlo? No puedo pensar. No puedo pensar correctamente. No puedo dejar de sentirme como una basura.
Tengo que pedir ayuda. Pero ¿los demás me entenderán? ¿Me creerán? ¿Podré recuperarlo después de lo que sucedió? ¿Mi padre comprenderá? ¿Leo podrá volver a ser el mismo?
Sé la respuesta. No. Nunca podrá volver a ser el mismo. Nunca. Todo es culpa mía. Debí obedecer. Debí haber seguido sus órdenes. Pero no. Esto es una pesadilla. Un horrible sueño del que no puedo despertar.
Mi hermano debe estar sufriendo. Como quisiera confortarlo. Estar junto a él. Hacerlo sentir mejor. Rogar su perdón.
Pero ahora cada vez que paso cerca de él, se aparta de mí como si esperara golpes. Estoy seguro que aún me quiere como a un hermano, a pesar de todo. Debería arrancarme la cabeza.
Pero no puedo hacerlo porque él sufriría, se culparía el resto de su vida por mis estúpidas acciones. Leo, a veces pienso que hubiera sido mejor que no me quisieras tanto.
La urgencia de volver a tenerlo bajo mi control se ha hecho más y más grande. Eso de pedir ayuda, lo he olvidado. Ahora tramo otro plan. Otra forma de volver a hacerlo con él. Otra manera de recordarle que me pertenece.
Terminó el día y volvimos de la ronda. Volvimos sin un rasguño, menos Leonardo. A pesar de que su alma está mortalmente herida por mi causa, no deja de cuidarnos.
Dragones Púrpuras nos atacaron. Todos ellos parecían estar concentrados en Leo. Era extraño. Parecía que sabían que no estaba bien del todo. Que sería un blanco fácil. Que no podría defenderse como siempre.
Dentro de mí quise que lo apalearan. Que los dejaran más débil. Pero que viviera. Que viviera para tomarlo otra vez. Así que no me moví cuando todos se le fueron encima.
Pero mis dos hermanos restantes si lo hicieron. Leo estaba siendo golpeado por todos esos tipos. Ellos lograron que soltara sus espadas. Lograron hacerlo caer de rodillas. Me alegré.
Donatelo y Miguel Ángel pudieron rescatarlo. Pero se descuidaron por un segundo. Sólo un segundo. Esa fracción de tiempo puede muchas veces ser la diferencia. Y lo fue.
Cuando todos creyeron que los tipos habían huido, se descuidaron. Uno de ellos aún estaba ahí. Armado. Armado con una espada. Atacó a Miguel Ángel. Pero no pudo herirlo.
Hirió a Leo, quien se interpuso. La espada cortó su plastrón y uno de sus brazos. Cayó al suelo, perdiendo mucha sangre. Mis hermanos gritaron. Me gritaron a mí. Pedían ayuda.
El vago huyó. Me acerqué sólo porque no quería que Leo muriera. Pero no lo hice por estar preocupado. Lo hice por mí. Por mi deseo aún no satisfecho. Una parte de mí no podía creerlo, pero lo hice.
Llegamos a casa. Donatelo se apresuró a curar a Leo. Pasaron horas antes de que pudiera verlo otra vez. Necesitó puntadas en el brazo y en el cuerpo.
Cuando lo vi estaba envuelto con vendas. Su brazo y su vientre. Era imposible lo que estaba pensando. Ese olor. Ese olor a sangre. Me estaba excitando. Y mucho. Tanto, que le dije a Donatelo que yo vigilaría a Leo.
Donatelo lo agradeció. Claro, estaba cansado. Ojalá me hubiera dicho que no. No sabía que dejaba al hermano que acababa de salvar en garras de un peligro más grande.
Miguel también se fue a dormir. También nuestro sensei. Todos pensaban que Leo estaba a salvo y fuera de peligro. Estaban equivocados. Mucho. Pobre Leo.
¿Pobre Leo? No, de nuevo ahí estaba. Ese pensamiento. Esa urgencia. Ese deseo. Me aseguré que cerrar bien la puerta antes de acercarme a mi esclavo.
Leo estaba inconsciente. Perfecto. No quería escuchar de nuevo sus quejas y sus ruegos. Sólo quería usarlo. Tomarlo. Hacérselo.
Comencé a tocarlo. Toqué sus mejillas. Toqué la venda que envolvía su brazo. La sangre se filtraba hasta el blanco tejido a través de las puntadas.
Era tan seductor. El verlo ahí, tan frágil. Tan indefenso. Tan débil.
Pero yo sabía. Sabía que debía cuidarlo, no hacerlo sufrir. Pero algo muy malo dentro de mí ganó. Ganó la necesidad de poseerlo. De hacerlo padecer. De hacerlo gemir.
Seguí explorando su cuerpo. Sus piernas. Sus pies. Su entrepierna. Quise ver sus genitales. Tocarlos. Olerlos. Separé las dos partes de su plastrón de la parte inferior de su cuerpo con mis manos.
Ahí estaba. Del mismo color que su piel. Lo saqué de su escondite y lo probé. Delicioso. Un sabor y un aroma que me incitaban aún más.
El destino quiso que Leo no gozara de esa protectora inconsciencia. Despertó. Despertó y quiso retroceder. Estaba horrorizado. Asustado. Temblaba.
El dolor de sus heridas no le permitió escapar de mí. No podía creerlo, pero me sonreí. Una sonrisa enfermiza. Cruel. Llena de deseo.
Leo comprendió que no podía escapar. Se rindió ante lo inevitable. Se quedó ahí, esperando mi voluntad. Esperando lo peor. Dispuesto a hacer lo que yo le mandara. No por mí. Sino para mantener a su familia unida. Idiota.
Relajó su cuerpo, descansó de nuevo su cabeza en la almohada. No dijo nada. Sólo dejó escapar un suspiro doloroso. Cerró sus ojos. Comenzó a respirar lentamente.
Lo comprendí. Quería escapar. Separar su mente de su cuerpo. No quería ver de nuevo mi cara. No quería perder el cariño que aún tenía por mí. No quería odiarme. Por eso no quería ver mi rostro.
Lo comprendí. Pero no me importó. No tenía tiempo para pensar en eso.
Subí a la cama. Me tendí otra vez sobre él. Sentí como su cuerpo temblaba más. Casi pude escuchar como los puntos en su abdomen se le saltaban por mi peso.
Se mordió los labios para no gritar. El dolor le hacía apretar sus ojos con fuerza. Pero aún así las lágrimas se le saltaban. Esas gotas resbalaban por su cara hasta humedecer la almohada.
Para mí la vista era magnífica. Mis genitales ya estaban firmes, listos para explorar su interior. La presión sobre mi plastrón comenzaba a ser insoportable.
Pero no quería repetir lo que sucedió hacía apenas cuatro días. No. Quise hacerlo de una forma diferente. Le ordené que se pusiera boca abajo. Me separé un poco de su cuerpo mientras lo hacía.
Lo hizo. Lentamente. Me tendí de nuevo sobre él. En su caparazón. Quité sus brazos. Los puse hacia el frente. El sabía lo que pasaría. Lo sabía bien. Aún no comenzaba y ya apretaba la sábana con sus manos.
Dejé libre mi miembro. Qué descanso. Separé un poco sus piernas. Temblaba. Acerqué la punta a su entrada. Casi rasgó la sábana. Entre de un solo tirón. Se tensó. Eso me gusta.
Está caliente. Mucho. Es delicioso. Aún no me he movido. El respiraba lentamente. Ya no. Ya no más. Está sufriendo. Me gusta. Está llorando silenciosamente. Me fascina. Está gimiendo de dolor. Me excita.
De pronto, moví mis caderas rápidamente. Muy rápido. Tanto, que creo que el interior del cuerpo de mi hermano se ha vuelto a rasgar. Aún no había sanado. El sólo pensamiento me incitó a incrementar la velocidad.
En medio del acto mi mente me gritó. Me gritó que estaba mal. Que estaba haciendo muy mal. Pero otra parte no lo comprendió. Seguí. Seguí hasta que quede completamente satisfecho. Hasta llenarlo completamente con mi semilla.
Sin pensar en él, me acosté sobre su cuerpo. Estaba cansado. Cansado y vilmente satisfecho. Leo temblaba aún más. Después de unos minutos Leo susurró algo. Dijo que pesaba mucho. Que no podía respirar.
Me reí. ¿Acaso mi esclavo me da órdenes? No me moví, me quedé ahí hasta que recuperé las fuerzas por completo. Toda la cama era un desastre. Me limpié. Me dirigí a la salida.
Le ordené a Leonardo que pusiera todo en orden. No se levantó. Repetí mi orden. Seguía sin moverse. Me acerqué. Había perdido la consciencia. Qué fastidio.
Debía llamar a Donatelo. Limpié el semen de su cuerpo. Lo volteé boca arriba. Listo. Tenía una explicación lista. Fui por Don.
Donatelo se aseguró que aún viviera. Si. Estaba vivo. Pero apenas respiraba. Don me preguntó que sucedió. Le expliqué que oí ruidos. Que Leo tenía una pesadilla. Que no podía despertar. Que se hizo daño sin pensar.
Me fui a dormir. Una parte de mí quería morir. Pero aún así me fui a dormir.
Continuará…
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I have tried to hold myself back. I have tried to not think about I have done. It's terrible that I can't do it. My poor brother has stopped smiling. He has stopped smiling at me.
That beautiful smile, which filled me with joy, which inspired me a love so deep, which fulfilled me with pride when I saw it getting bigger when I did my job correctly, I have lost it.
Despite knowing I have lost the place that was mine inside Leo's mind and heart, I can't stop. I can't. I can't do it. Why?
Something bad has happened to me, but what? Maybe I should ask for help. Ask for Donnie's help. Before I can do more damage. Before keep on staining Leo's body and soul. My Leo.
No. I can't say he is mine. I couldn't even confess my feelings to him, before attacking him. Before making him mine by force. Right now, it doesn't matter.
Maybe he hates me. I hate myself. How I can get him back? I can't think. I can't think correctly. I can't stop feeling like a scum.
I have to seek for help. But, the others will understand me? Will they believe me? Can I get Leo back after all that has happened? My father will understand? Leo will be the same?
I know the answer. No. He will never be the same again. Never. And it's my entire fault. I should have obeyed him. I should have followed his orders. But I didn't. This is a nightmare. A horrible dream from which I can't wake up.
My brother must be suffering. How I wish I could comfort him. To be close to him. To make him feel better. To beg for his forgiveness.
But now, each time I pass near him, he moves away from me, like he is expecting a blow. I am sure he still loves me as a brother in spite of everything. I should chop my head off.
But I can't do it, because he would suffer. He would blame himself for the rest of his life because of my stupid actions. Leo, sometimes I think you shouldn't love me that much.
The urge to have him under my control has become bigger. My idea of asking for help, I have forgot it. Now I am hatching a new plan. Another way to have sex with him. Another way to remind him that he belongs to me.
That day came to an end and we came back from patrolling. We came back without a scratch, but Leo. Even though his soul has been fatally wounded because of me, he still takes care of us.
Purple Dragons attacked us. All of them seemed to be focused on Leo. It was weird. It looked like they knew he wasn't completely fine. Like they knew he would be an easy target. Like they knew he couldn't defend himself as always.
Deep inside me I wanted them to beat him hard. I wanted them to weaken him. But not killing him. That way he could live. He would be alive to use him again. So, I didn't move an inch to help him when all those slackers attacked him at once.
But my two little brothers did help him. Leo was being beaten by all those scumbags. They managed to make him drop his swords. They managed to make him fall on his knees. I was delighted.
Donatello and Michelangelo could rescue him. But they were careless for just a second. Just a second. That fraction of time can make the difference. And it did.
When everybody thought that the bad guys had fled, they became careless. One of those scums was still there. Armed. Armed with a sword. He attacked Michelangelo. But he couldn't hurt him.
He wounded Leo who stood in the way of that sword. The weapon wounded his arm and his abdomen. He fell to the floor; he was losing a lot of blood. My brothers yelled. They yelled at me. They screamed for help.
The slacker ran away. I approached to them just because I didn't want to let Leo die. But I didn't do it because I was concerned. I did it for me. Because I still had to satisfy my desire. A part of me couldn't believe it, but I did it.
We arrived home. Donatello hurried up to take care of Leo, he patched him up. Hours went on until I saw him again. He needed stitches on his arm and plastron.
When I saw him, his arm and his abdomen were wrapped up in bandages. It was impossible, I was thinking about the blood smell. That smell. It was arousing my desire. A lot. So much that it made me told Donatello that I would watch Leo all the night.
Donnie was grateful. It was obvious, he was tired. I wished he had said no. He didn't know he was leaving the brother he had just saved, alone. At the mercy of a greatest danger.
Michelangelo also went to sleep. Our sensei too. All of them thought that Leo was safe and sound. They were wrong. So wrong. Poor Leo.
Poor Leo? No, there was again. That thought. That urge. That desire. I made sure to close the door before get close to my slave.
Leo was unconscious. Perfect. I didn't want to hear his complaints and pleas again. I just wanted to use him. To take him. To have sex with him.
I began to touch him. I touched his cheeks. I touched the bandage which wrapped his arm. The blood seeped through the bandage's weave. The stitches still let escape a small amount of blood.
It was so seductive. Seeing him there, so fragile. So helpless. So weak.
But I knew. I knew it was my duty to take care of him, not making him suffer. But something really bad inside my mind had won the war. The need to take him had won. I wanted to make him suffer. I wanted to make him moan.
I kept exploring his body. His legs. His feet. His crotch. I wanted to see his cock. To touch it. To smell it. I separated the two pieces of his lower plastron with my hands.
There was it. It had the same color as his skin. I took it out from its hiding place and I tasted it. Delicious. A taste and a smell that provoked me even more.
Destiny had decided that Leo didn't deserved to enjoy the benefits of his protective unconsciousness. He woke up. He woke up and wanted to recoil. He was horrified. He was scared. He was trembling.
The pain of his wounds didn't allow him to escape from me. I couldn't believe it, but I smiled. A twisted smile. A cruel smile. Full of desire.
Leo realized that he couldn't escape. He gave in, before the inevitable. He stayed there. Awaiting to hear my will. Awaiting to experience the worst. He was prepared to do anything I could order him. He won't do it because of me. He would do it because he wanted to keep his family united. What an idiot.
He relaxed his body; he eased his head back against the pillow. He didn't utter a single word. He only let escape a painful sigh. He closed his eyes. He began to breathe calmly.
I understood it. He wanted to escape. He wanted to take apart his mind from his body. He didn't want to see my face again. He didn't want to lose the love he still felt for me. He didn't want to hate me. That's why he didn't want to see my face.
I understood it. But I didn't care. I didn't have the time to think about it.
I got onto the bed. I lay on top of him again. I felt how his body was trembling even more. I could almost hear how the stitches on his abdomen popped off because of my weight.
He bit his lip to not scream. The pain forced him to clench his eyes strongly. But even so his tears came out of them. Those salty drops ran down his face until they reached the pillow, wetting it.
For me, the view was magnificent. My genitals were already hard, ready to explore his body's inside. The pressure on my lower plastron was unbearable.
I didn't want to do the same as four days ago. No. I wanted to do it in a different way. I ordered him to turn over himself, that way he would be face down. I lifted my body for a moment while he did it.
And he did it. Slowly. I lay onto his shell. I placed his arms away from his sides. I placed them near the bed head. He knew what would happen. He knew it quite well. I hadn't even started and he was already squeezing the bed sheet with his hands.
I set my cock free. What a relief. I ordered him to spread his legs a little. He was trembling. I pushed the tip of my male member against his entrance. He almost tore the bed sheet to shreds. I penetrated him swiftly. He tensed. I loved that.
He is warm. A lot. It's delicious. I haven't moved yet. He was breathing calmly. Not now. Not anymore. He is suffering. I like it. He is crying silently. It fascinates me. He is moaning in pain. That excites me.
Suddenly, I was moving my hip, quickly. So much that I thought the meaty walls of Leo's tight hole were torn again. He hadn't healed yet. That thought made me increase the speed.
In the middle of having sex, my mind was yelling at me. It was yelling at me that I was doing wrong. But another part of it didn't understand. I kept going. I kept going until I felt completely satisfied. I kept going until I filled him completely with my seed.
Without thinking about him, I lay down on top of him again. I was tired. Tired and vilely satisfied. Leo was still trembling. After a few minutes Leo murmured something. He said I was too heavy. That he couldn't breathe.
I laughed. Doesn't he know that a slave can't give orders? I didn't move, I stayed there until I had recovered my strength totally. The bed was a mess. I wiped myself. I strode towards the exit.
I ordered Leo to clean everything up. He didn't get up. I repeated my order. He didn't move. I came close to him. He had lost consciousness. How annoying.
I must fetch Donatello. I wiped the cum that was outside his ass. I turned him around, he was face up. There. I had thought of an explanation. I went to get Don.
Donatello made sure he was still alive. Yes, he was. But he was barely breathing. Don asked me what had happened. I explained him that I had heard weird noises. That Leo was having a nightmare. That he couldn't wake up. That he had hurt himself without knowing.
After that I went to sleep. One part of me wished I were dead. But, even so, I went to sleep.
To be continued…