It's really dark, this whole fic is kinda dark, be warned.

I don't own big time rush!

James POV

I was shocked to see who was standing in front of me. It was none other than Hawk AND my father. I should have known they would have done something like this. Hawk wants nothing more than to end BTR and my dad just wants me to take over his place and learn the ways of the Cartel. I wanted to speak but I quickly remembered the rules the guy who escorted me here told me. I did NOT want to get further on my dads bad side. I remained silent until he spoke. He ranted about me not being who he wanted to me to be.

In the end, Hawk stood there and witnessed him beat me. I was in worse condition then before. Hawk just smirked and said, " your friends are going to hate you, your fans are going to hate you and your going to hate you. So enjoy life before it gets worse, because it's going to." I shook my head and spit out blood that was coming from somewhere in my body, which was too numb to feel. Hawk slapped me before kicking me in the stomach and leaving the room.

The guard picked me up from lying on my side to standing as I spit out blood. He carried me back to the room I was in and sent some one else in to tend to my injuries. I saw a middle aged Hispanic woman standing above me. She kneeled down and spoke, " oh dear. This is worse then the last time they had a prisoner. Oh well better get to work." I watched as she treated my broken bones and cuts. She later on told me her name was Mrs. Sophia and that she was a doctor. I told her a bit about my self, not much though.

When she was done, she told me that I had four broken bones, a broken nose and lots of bruising and possible cracked bones. When she left, she whispered to me, " I'll help you escape. Just don't piss them off too much. You're going to have to be here for awhile before I free you." I nodded and stared at the ceiling as she left. I counted everything in the room; 1 bed, 1 chair, no windows, 1 door. I sang several BTR songs to myself as I lay on the floor, to weak to get up. I lay there all alone for what seems like weeks when in fact it's actually been three days.

I know this because when the guy who took me to the spare room walked into this room, he stated, " I bet three days of loneliness have taught you to behave better.' I spit in his direction. This jackass here wasn't friendly; then again what captor is nice. He smirked evilly and said, " Shouldn't have don't that kid." He grabbed me and dragged me back to that room. I fought him and even slugged him once in the jaw before he got to that dam dreadful room. He threw me on the bed with a force that if it had been the ground, I would've been bruised badly. I fought him more and more as he tried to hurt me. He was extremely pissed off but I didn't care.

I ended up giving him a black eye and bloody lip. I didn't care that he was going to beat me. I was not letting him rape me again. He threw me back in the room, cursed at me before kicking me and leaving. A few more days passed I think when I had an encounter with another guard. The nicer guard brought me food and probably more than he should have. I estimated that it had been five days since the last time I ate. I was getting skinnier and skinner each day without food. the more days I went without food, the weaker I got.

Kendall's pov

How on earth does James just randomly call me, quit the band and expect us not to be angry with him. We came out here so he could live HIS dream and he just quits on us after he randomly disappears for two days? It's been about a week since we last saw him too. I was lying on the couch; Logan was at the table doing some Math problems while Carlos was playing cards with Katie.

Hearing the phone ring, I got up and answered it. it was Gustavo saying, " some one was reviewing the security camera footage and they saw James walk into view, get grabbed and then thrown into a van. The police were contacted and it is uncertain who is behind this. I want you all to stay at the palm woods with Freight train on the palm woods grounds. No one is to leave the apartment either. That includes Katie and your Mother."

I thanked him for the info and hung the phone up. I shakily sat the phone down and then sat down on a barstool. Katie looked up from her game and asked, " what's wrong Kendork?" I took a deep breath and replied, " James didn't just disappear. He was ki-kidnapped." I let a few tears roll down my cheeks as I walked over to Katie and hugged her close to me. Letting her go, I then took Logan and Carlos into a hug and then comforted them. My anger with James faded to worry and concern. I don't think he quit the band. I think who ever took him, made him quit. He would never quit because he loves it too much. He loves it more than the rest of us. This was his dream, I can't believe I thought he would quit on us. I hope that where ever he is, he's okay.

James's pov

It's been six months since I last saw the guys and it's been five months since I was last in LA and it's been four months since I was last in the United States. My dad thought it would be better if I "learned" the business in our home country. I absolutely can't stand Mexico. I don't know whether it's because I'm here under force, its too dam hot or I'm not allowed to speak English at all. I quickly had to become fluent in Spanish.

It was difficult but I learned fast. The one guard that was nice to me is now the one who is in charge of me. The one who was in charge of me before was killed. My father may be an evil man but I'm still his son. The one thing I'm happier about is more meals. I get to eat once every day and its not that bad anymore. I'm thinner than I was before I was taken, but I put on more weight as soon as I was fed more. Apparently, the first two weeks was there, they were trying to see if they could break me.

When they didn't, they were happy with their progress. I miss LA and everyone there like crazy. I even miss Gustavo and his attitude. I miss singing though. If I am caught singing, I am to be beaten. My appearance and attitude have changed too. My dad had my hair cut really short so it looks like Carlos's. He also said that if I'm going to deal then I have to know what product is good. One of the stupid goons forced me to smoke weed. It sucked. I hated how it made me feel. I felt like I was floating, on a boat and couldn't feel my body at times. It was freaky. If I hadn't been forced into it, maybe I would have possibly liked it, but I currently don't.

My attitude of always caring about my looks is long gone. That was gone within the first two weeks. Instead of my perfect face that I had, I have a scar in my eyebrow and a scar on the side of my head from when one of the goons smashed a few beer bottles on my head. Needless to say, that guy didn't live very long after that. I've learned from my time here that no one wants to upset my dad first of all, and second of all anyone who hurts me gets killed soon after. I want out of this damn country, I want to be free and mostly I want my friends.

I don't think I could do this forever. I'm going to break eventually and when I do, I don't think I'll be fixable. The only good thing that has happened while being here was finding my sister, jasmine. I found her a few days after I moved here. I tried to run away but I was caught. They beat me until I couldn't feel anything. I learned my lesson after that. I want to run away again but I'm scared to leave jasmine behind so I have to take her with me and she doesn't quite trust me just yet. It's understandable though.

The poor six-year-old girl has been through a lot. My dad acts funny to her. He treats her like a princess most of the time but he is also kind of mean to her. I became her guardian in a sense. I protect her and I teach her things. She goes to the school in town which is only a few minutes away from our property or what the others call it: the Alvarez compound. As soon as we got to Mexico, my dad changed my name back to what it was when I was really little: James Derek Alvarez. My mom changed it when she left my real dad.

Robert treats me funny a lot. One minute he is very kind and acts how a father should and then the next he is rude and mean, I think it's because of him running the cartel. No one wants a softie in charge. Its one thing to be nice some of the time but another to always be nice. I think that's one of his "lessons". When we were in Texas right before we came over the border, he acted like how a real father should. He talked about his childhood and said things like, " I only want what's best for you and I love you." I warmed up a tiny bit to the thought of calling him dad. I called him Robert most of the time.

As soon as we came over the border, my attitude towards life changed. I wasn't in a boy band any more and I wasn't going to be waited on or anything that came with the life of being famous. I had to adapt to my new life. So I guess when my name changed, I changed. I wasn't the hot, cute boy from Big time rush. I became James Alvarez but a lot of people started calling me JD. I felt like an actor when I was around people. I treated this all like I was in a movie and this was my life because it is my life.

At night when I'm all alone, I become James Diamond again. I'm not into my looks as much anymore but I do take pride in my appearance. Right now, I'm sitting in the city jail. I just got busted for dealing. In my defense, I knew it was a cop and I knew this whole deal was shady but no one and I mean no one listened to me. I can smell a cop a mile away and no one listens to me. The person in the cell next to me, a teen girl not much older than me keeps giving me a look. Scooting further away from her, she gets closer to me. I'm now stuck against the wall with her sitting practically on me.

She says to me (in Spanish of course, need I remind you we're in Mexico) " I know who you are Diamond." I replied, " I don't know what or who you are talking about?" she smirked and said, " you are that guy from that American boy band. I knew it was you from the second you walked in that door." I shook my head and said, " I don't know who your talking about. I'm JD Alvarez." She laughed and said, " James Diamond Alvarez from the US?" I replied back, "no James Derek Alvarez from Mexico." She laughed and said, " what part?" I replied, "originally Zacatecas." "Interesting pretty boy. We should hook up when we get out of here." taking in her appearance now because I was to focused on the looks she had been giving me, she is actually pretty.

"What did you do to get in here?" she replied, " I went joy riding in a police car." I laughed and said, "you were just asking to get caught weren't you?" she ran her hand down my leg as she said, " I only wanted to have fun. You and me, we could go have some fun when we get out of here if you know what I mean." I knew what she meant but she didn't have to know that so I said, " what do you mean?" she ran her hand down my thigh and then back up and squeezed a sensitive spot. Winking, she did it again. I replied, " that kind of fun. Maybe it depends on what you want to do."

One of the cops came to the cell door, opened it and said, "You both are getting out of here. James, you are on a warning. Get caught again, you'll do a lot more time then a few hours. Diana, take one more police car for a joy ride again and you won't be getting out of jail for a few months." nodding we left quickly. Hmm. I wonder if anyone will be here to pick me up. If not well lets just say, the border is about a day away by car. I could make it over and to LA in about three days if I tried. Sadly, I saw a familiar face. Walking towards him I turned to Diana and said, " it was eh nice meeting you. See you around." She pulled me up close by my shirt and kissed me. We were interrupted by the person picking me up, who I had yet to learn his name. Telling Diana, " see you round."

I walked to the car and got in. after much asking, the person told me his name was Gabriel. I told him how the deal was shady to begin with and how when I said I didn't want to do it from the beginning that something was up, I was right. He laughed and said, " We set you up. We wanted to see if you had any intuition. You do. That's good." I nodded. We fell into a silence as we neared the compound. My thoughts kept wandering to Kendall and the boys. I wonder how they're doing.

Logan's pov

It's been six months since James went missing. Nothing ever turned up about where he went or who took him. The band is on a verge of breaking up. Carlos is a lot calmer and sad then I have ever seen the boy be. Katie doesn't talk as much and when she does, its very cold. Mama knight is more protective of us now then ever before.

Kendall. There is so much to say I don't know what to start with. His anger issues are at a whole new level and it's not pretty. Him and Gustavo go at it like crazy and it doesn't end well either. Griffin says that if we don't record a song soon, our deal will be over. My biggest worry is that James is dead and we will never know what happened. I don't want us to lose our deal and then have James come back and be upset that we screwed up everything we worked for. Ever since he went missing, I've thrown my self deeper and deeper into my studies. I recently have read fifteen law books. I even took an online law course through a local college. I passed with an A of course. I really hope the police find something. If they could find anything, it would mean that he could still be out there somewhere and not dead.

The police are going to stop searching, they already called off a few searches. By the time that we could find him, the police will have stopped searching and we will never see him again. I don't think I could handle that. I don't know what's worse. Not knowing if he's okay and alive or knowing he's dead and not hurting anymore. Closing the law book I just finished, I thought about who could have taken James. The only person who would make sense to have kidnapped James would be hawk. And if Hawk kidnapped him, he would keep him until BTR ended.

Kendall told us that James called once saying don't end the band no matter what happens. It's all confusing. Here's what I think: who ever took James, they wanted BTR to end and they made James call to make it seem like he ran away and wasn't taken. I really hope we find him though. I miss having to tell him to hurry up in the bathroom, having him announce that he is going to the pool to tan and watching him successfully hit on girls and end up with a lot of dates. I'll never forget the memories we made. I hope we get to make more and this isn't where our story ends. I put the book on the table beside my bed and tried to sleep. My last thoughts being: James is okay and out there still.