Six months after Leo returns home from Latin America he takes a hit that reveals something he failed to tell them. The scars tell a story, but not all of it. Will Leo tell them…or will he hide the truth about his two year long absence…forever?

Chapter 1: The Weight of Responsibility

Leo sighed as he filled his tea cup. The past six months had been rough. Two years of absence from his family couldn't be fixed easily.

Raph's aggressive streak had turned to something closer to hostility after Leo had refused to tell them why he had been gone so long.

Mikey had sort of become distant and Don wasn't much better.

Leo knew Splinter was disappointed in him.

But he knew he couldn't tell them why he'd been gone. Too many issues would surface because of it, too many things he didn't want to remember.

Leo reached over and started getting things ready for breakfast, the second he touched the toaster it gave a pitiful "zzzt" before some smoke trickled out.

"Shell," Leo growled, "Not again. You are my worst enemy you know that?"

The toaster remained unmoved, the smoke coming out stopped after a second.

It wasn't plugged in.

He turned as Splinter's shuffle-walk alerted him to the fact that his father was entering the kitchen.

Leo quickly plugged in the toaster and grabbed bread before Splinter came in.

"My son?" Splinter greeted, "how is it my son that even after two years of absence and the toaster not breaking that it has broken almost everyday since you came home?"

Leo blushed.

"Not sure Sensei," Leo mumbled, "apparently it hates me."

Splinter chuckled before giving his son a gentle look, eyeing the nearly haggard appearance of his eldest.

"You haven't been sleeping well," he commented.

Leo sighed, shoulders slumping slightly.

"No…I'm still used to being on edge constantly…I'm still-" Leo sighed stopping as Raph came in and glared after seeing the ruined toaster.

"Seriously ya' can't just leave the stupid thing alone?" Raph snapped.

Leo simply glared in response, his fragile, and obviously temporary, good mood vanished instantly.

Leo turned heel before they could say anything, slammed his cup down onto the counter, and stormed off toward the dojo.

Splinter turned a disapproving eye on his remaining son.

"Raphael," he sighed, "your brother is readjusting to living here-"

"Sensei I'm sorry but the fact that he won't even give us a good reason for being gone so long is driving me nuts and then he just…everything. He trains like a maniac still, he only eats his healthy crap and he never…he never even…" Raph trailed off, eyes squeezed shut as he gripped the counter.

Splinter sighed as he reached forward and placed a hand on his second-eldest's shoulder.

"Your brother spent two years in training Raphael, he has cut back drastically since he came home but Leonardo can not simply stop. You understand that," Splinter said softly, "Leonardo told me very little of why he was gone so long Raphael. Barely more than he told all of you. All I know is that he still has nightmares about something that happened and that he refuses to speak about it. Raphael…your brother deems his time in Latin America as a failure to achieve the purpose that I sent him there for. Instead of opposing him constantly I ask that you let him feel comfortable here again. Harsh words are not needed now, support is."

"He broke the toaster again didn't he?" Don grumbled when he saw it, abruptly ending the rare father/son moment between the rebel and Splinter.

Rah quickly made a choice.

"Um…no…it was me…I…dropped it," Raph mumbled, earning a small nod of approval from is father.

"Leonardo is training," Splinter said simply.

"Dudes I wanted toast this morning," Mikey grumbled.

"Well make something' else," Raph snapped.

Don grumbled but made his coffee and then walked toward the dojo where the sounds of the punching bag taking a beating reached his ears.

Don's jaw dropped when Leo kicked the bag right off the chain and across the room.

"Shell Leo, you've been holding back in practice haven't you?" Don gasped.

Leo quickly turned around an gave first Don and then the bag a sheepish look.

"I…yeah…" Leo mumbled, refusing to meet his brother's eyes.

That would be two things he'd broken and it wasn't even seven in the morning yet.

"Well I just came to inform you that Raph broke the toaster for once and Mikey is making French Toast. Hungry?" Don asked.

"Not really…wait Raph broke the toaster?" Leo gave Don a completely bewildered look.

"Yeah he said he hit it or dropped it or something," Don replied with a shrug, "come on you seriously need to eat something besides your trail mix for once."

Leo hesitated but with a sigh followed Don out.

The fact of the matter was, two years of living off of what he could find in the wild had drastically changed his diet and how his body reacted to certain foods. In short, most of the stuff his family ate made him sick to his stomach. But what confused him and honestly hurt was that Don had either overlooked or completely ignored that fact; the fact that he should slowly introduce his body back into those "normal" foods.

Leo walked into the kitchen and grabbed an apple out of the dwindling supply of fruit in the basket on the counter.

"Dude put it back," Mikey ordered with a grin before taking the apple and shoving a plate of French Toast into his brother's hands.

Leo squirmed, his stomach already reeling.

"Mikey I…." Leo started, "I can't…"

"Quit it Leo you aren't training anymore, its been six months since you came home I think you can eat normally," Raph snapped.

"Dude agreed, for once quit trying to do everything right and indulge yoursel-"Mikey started.

Leo shoved the plate back at Mikey.

"Seriously? I SPENT TWO YEARS LIVING OFF OF THAT!" Leo shouted, gesturing toward the fruit before looking away in embarrassment.

Raph dropped his fork and glared but Don gave Leo a slow nervous look over.

"Oh Shell. Leo…it makes you sick doesn't it?" Don whispered, "I'm sorry bro I…I just…I blanked it. I'm sorry I should have said something."

He stood up and started toward Leo.

Raph flinched slightly at the thought but Mikey stared at the plate in his hand and fought tears, Leo hadn't ever yelled like that before, especially not when he was so close or about something he did.

It hurt and he was confused.

Leo glared at them each in turn.

"You want to know why I never came back?" Leo whispered, "well here it is…I was happy. I didn't have to deal with all of you judging me every time I walked into a room. I didn't have to deal with all of your issues."

Leo turned and nearly sprinted toward his room, leaping up and then dashing into it, the door slamming after him.

Those left in the room remained frozen.

"He didn't mean it Mikey," Don whispered as Mikey put the plate down and started crying softly.

"Then why would he say it?" Mikey snapped tears streaming down his cheeks, "why would he say that if it wasn't true? We do…we judge him all the time."

Raph looked down and sighed before raising his gaze to meet the sorrowful gaze of his father.

"We haven't been very…receptive have we?" Raph mumbled.

"I'm afraid not my sons. Leonardo has been on his own for two years, he is trying to readjust to living here. To being a leader of a team again as well as adjusting back into having more than himself to worry about. You three will speak to him," Splinter sighed before standing.

"Yes Sensei," they chorused.

~O~

Leo buried his head in his arms and sobbed, the frustration, the confusion, the anger all spilled out.

He simply just didn't want to face what had happened there. All that time alone, cold, hungry and then the capture.

They couldn't know about that, about the fact that he had been in bondage about how he got away.

Leo hastily sat up and wiped his face clean, he looked around and stared at the wall. Then he focused inward, a tears trickling down his cheeks as a sorrowful music swelled around him, mournful notes flitting through the still air. A few seconds later the patter of raindrops hitting leaves mixed in.

This was his way of easing the pain.

By manipulating sound.

It was a blessing even as his ability to manipulate electricity was a curse.

He wasn't ever able to fully control that aspect, hence the dead toaster.

~O~

Raph had to all of their shock stood up and went after Leo.

He was now standing outside Leo's door listening to the faint music within, he sighed and gently rapped his knuckles against the door.

The music cut off abruptly.

"What?" Leo called.

"We…just…I…I'm sorry bro…we all are, we just….would ya' come downstairs?" Raph said quietly.

There was no response.

"…I-I…why? After what I said…." Leo trailed off the door still firmly closed between them.

"Ya' were right…you were right about that. We do judge you…and we have no right to," Raph replied.

The door opened a crack.

"I…didn't mean it…I was…just…confused," Leo mumbled, "I just wish you'd all stop demanding and begging me to answer everything…I don't want to talk about it. Not ever."

"Then you don't have to," Raph said firmly, "We'll stop askin' if you want to lata' than ya' can. Until then we'll stop."

The door opened more and Leo's face could be seen.

"Ah bro," Raph whispered as Leo hastily tried to wipe his face.

Raph moved forward and pulled Leo into hug.

"I missed you all so much…I felt so alone and then coming home to…all of this…this…I feel like I'm constantly under attack. This isn't home…it doesn't feel like it," Leo mumbled as Raph hugged him tighter.

"Yeah well…you were gone longer than you were supposed to be and we had no word…bro we thought you were dead…at least I did…that's why I got so angry…I hated you for dieing and leaving us alone…then when you came home I…I hated you for leaving us guessing for so long," Raph whispered.

"I didn't know," Leo said simply.

He said nothing else as Raph lead him back downstairs, despite his questions, he wouldn't ask.

Leo had gathered himself by the time they got there. His face was wiped clean and he wasn't so shaky.

Mikey was hunched at the table, sniffing softly.

Leo dropped down into a crouch and wrapped him in a hug.

"I didn't mean it Mike," Leo whispered, "I'm sorry I said it."

"But…you had to have meant…" He started as he pulled back.

"I didn't mean it Mike, I was just….frustrated," Leo mumbled, gently pulled Mikey to him again, "I didn't mean it ototo."

Mikey looked up and sniffed before leaning into the hug.

"You didn't stay away because of us?" Mikey plead.

"No…I stayed away…because…." Leo trailed off, seeming to flinch slightly, "I got hurt."

"Oh," Mikey whispered, pulling back and giving his elder brother a shocked look, "Bad?"

Leo glanced up at Raph who shook his head and gave Leo a look that clearly said you don't have to say.

"I…I…nearly died," Leo stated simply, "But I don't want to talk about it…'kay?"

Mikey's eyes widened in shock, as did the others', but Mikey nodded instantly understanding Leo's firm authoritative tone.

There would be no discussion.

This was all they would know.

"Shell Leo," Don breathed, "You might have at least mentioned that."

Leo gave Don a firm stop now glare but sighed.

"I probably should have at least mentioned that I guess," Leo mumbled.

A/N: Well…intriguing much?

The ability to manipulate sound is my copyright, it was created for my LD books.

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