A/N: Sorry about the delay in posting. I've still got other stories in the mix, I just had this idea in my head. I think this is the last part of this one, though.
The precinct was eerily quiet as Olivia walked through the bullpen. She took in her surroundings and saw one desk with its contents spread haphazardly over the surface. Folders were pushed to the edge and were mere millimeters from falling onto the floor. As she headed for the bathroom, Olivia looked for the desk's owner. She took one look at her reflection and grimaced. Her cheeks were flushed from having walked over thirty city blocks in more than an hour. The air had been cool yet she'd worked up a sweat. The exertion of her trek along with the tension from her argument with Elliot showed in her bloodshot eyes. She looked like hell. She reached for some paper towels and wiped the perspiration off of her face before briskly working it through the damp strands of hair that were matted to her face. She tossed the paper in the trash and placed her palms flat on the cool surface of the sink. Staring back at her reflection, she never felt so alone. She heard a faint tapping on the door and reluctantly stepped out.
"Should I bother asking?" John stood next to his female colleague and eyed her over the top of his glasses.
"I think you know the answer to that already, John. I'm going to crash here tonight. I'll be out of your guys' hair by noon." Olivia felt the heat rise to her face upon feeling the scrutinizing gaze of the older detective. She could feel his concern radiating from him.
"'Cause you're such a pain in the ass. Get some sleep. I'll put a note on the door. Happy napping." John saw her smile briefly but he wasn't convinced. Her eyes always gave her away.
"You're too good to me. Thanks, John. Don't stay too late, okay?" She had a feeling John had finished up for Elliot so that he could get home.
"Uh huh. Nite, Liv." He nodded his head and grinned back. They both knew what his non-committed response meant.
"Goodnight, John. See you on Monday." Olivia waved over her shoulder and walked slowly to the locker room to change. She needed a shower but she couldn't muster the energy to do so.
John watched his friend leave looking like she'd lost her best friend. He wondered if that wasn't exactly what had happened. He resisted the urge to call and ream Elliot out. If the man hadn't learned by now, he never would. John had seen Olivia put up with him long enough to know when things weren't right. Olivia's attire and what looked to be the lack of her cell phone only meant one thing to him; wherever she intended to go, she didn't think Elliot would care. He eyed the phone on his desk several times before turning to the mound of papers that beckoned him. He'd never understand those two. He just hoped whatever spat they'd had was something that could be overcome because he never wanted to see her looking that way again.
Ooo
Elliot stared up at the ceiling. His hands were clasped tightly behind his head as he laid there in bed. He noted slight footfalls on the hardwood floor as they neared the door. He got up and turned the knob.
"Hi, daddy." Kathleen didn't have to look beyond her father to see that Olivia wasn't there. She'd heard her leave and grew concerned when she never returned.
"You should be sleeping." Elliot moved from the doorway and turned on the bedside lamp before patting the spot beside him.
"So should you. Want to talk?" Kathleen sat down on the bed and adjusted the pillows so she could lean against the headboard.
"Not now, sweetie. I think I'm all talked out." Elliot saw his daughter's expression and couldn't have been prouder. She'd grown up so much in the past few years. She reminded him so much of Olivia. The care and warmth she showed everyone, giving each and every person their time to share their story never ceased to amaze him.
"Well, I think I should say something then. What happened, it wasn't Olivia's fault. I asked her not to tell you yet. She told me I should talk to you about it but that she'd wait to tell you. I knew you'd be unhappy with her for doing it but I was tired and I just wanted to go to bed. I didn't mean drag her into this mess." Kathleen solemnly sat on the bed feeling utterly defeated. She'd caused Olivia so much pain and one of the things that worried her most was that Olivia hadn't returned. The other was that her father didn't seem to care.
"I know. I was worried, Kathleen. You're my daughter and I'm a cop. I'm supposed to protect my kids. I'm supposed to watch you guys. I kept thinking of the things that could have happened to you. It scared me. You know how I get." Elliot sighed and leaned his head back against the wall.
"What about Olivia? I mean, she's our family now, isn't she? I know she's a cop, too, but she could use someone, too, dad. I don't know what I'd do if I was that old and alone all the time. She has us now, but she must have been so lonely." Kathleen shuddered at the thought of Olivia and where she might be.
"She had a rough life, sweetie. You know, when we were first paired up she tried so hard to fit in. She acted tough but I could tell that deep down it was like the school yard and she just wanted to be picked for someone's team. She was a good cop then and she's a good cop now and that's because she's a good person. She really cares about you kids and sometimes I forget she's never had a real family. I'm not mad that she called you, not really. I'm glad actually. I'm glad you trust her. I screwed up. I said something I shouldn't have. I don't know what to do. I should be out looking for her but I don't know what to say. I really hurt her. She may not even want to talk to me." Elliot glanced over at his daughter and saw the compassion in her eyes, the understanding of what he was saying.
"I was afraid to call you tonight because I didn't want you to be angry with me. I know you love me and you would have been glad that I was okay. I still should have told you, but I knew that I could call Olivia and she would come and get me. So I think that even if you think Olivia will be angry with you, you should still talk to her. She loves you, dad, and she doesn't have anyone but us. I mean, who's she going to call?" Kathleen saw the impact of her words register on her father's face.
Elliot groaned at the realization, at what he'd done. His daughter's amazing insight stunned him. He thanked her and kissed her on the forehead before gently pushing her out the door. Her laughing could be heard as she walked back to the living room. He dialed the familiar number and let it ring. When he heard the tone that was distinctly Olivia's, he swallowed down a feeling of dread.
"Guess she doesn't have this with her." Kathleen held up the ringing phone and set it on the dresser before walking out again.
"Damn." Elliot racked his brain, trying to figure out where she'd be. He woke up Casey and had to listen to her cursing for several moments before taking an oath to call her as soon as he found out where Olivia was. He then called the one other place Olivia called home.
"It's about time. She's asleep in the crib. When should I expect you to come grovel?" John held the phone to his ear and signed the forms in front of him, finally putting the paperwork to an end.
"Fifteen or so. Thanks for keeping an eye on her for me, John. How is she?" Elliot pulled his jeans up and did the fly before grabbing a sweatshirt. He held the phone awkwardly between his ear and shoulder as he tied his shoes.
"Tired, I presume. Wouldn't you be after walking all that way? She's going to be sore tomorrow and she'll be lucky if she doesn't get sick. It's got to be fifty degrees out there." John wasn't done reprimanding his colleague just yet.
"I was afraid of that. I'll be there after a while. Don't let her leave again, if she wakes up." Elliot crept into the living room and closed his phone.
"Did you find her?" Kathleen leaned on her elbow and looked up at him.
"She's asleep at work. Do me a favor and call Casey. Her number is on the rolodex. Then you have my permission to sleep." Elliot waved to his daughter, keys in hand. He grabbed Olivia's jacket and as he pulled the door shut, he saw her getting up to retrieve the phone.
The ride to the precinct was quiet, yet admissions of guilt plagued his mind. The argument echoed in his mind, not quite letting him forget that he'd made an ass of himself. He stepped out onto the sidewalk and stretched before entering the bullpen. He gave a half-wave to John and made his way to the crib. He laughed at the note on the door. He quietly opened it up and slipped in. He toed his shoes off and sat down on the bed gently. As he let his weight settle on the mattress, he felt her stir.
"Elliot? What are you doing here?" Olivia rubbed her gritty eyes. They stung and she blinked, trying to get the sensation to ease.
"John gave up your location. I found your phone and I didn't know where you were so I called the precinct. I know that you love the kids and I had no right to say what I said. It's not much, but I'm sorry." Elliot tentatively ran his fingers down her forearm and noted the goose bumps beneath his fingers.
"To tell you the truth, that hurt more than anything. To have you say a thing like that, that I had no right to do what I did because they weren't my kids…that hurt, Elliot. Is that how you really feel? If it is, then we need to make some decisions before this goes any further, because I don't know if I have it in me. I can't just turn off the switch and remove myself from everything I've worked so hard to be a part of." Olivia shook her head and made sweeping motions as she spoke, all signs that she was worked up.
"I had a talk with Kathleen after you left. She helped me realize some things. I love you and I love that my kids adore you. I want you in their lives. I was scared and instead of being relieved that she was okay, I took it out on you. I was so damn scared that she could have ended up in some alley somewhere…and then you left without your phone. I swear, you girls are trying to give me a heart attack. Jesus, Liv, don't ever do that again. If you don't want to be reached, then I accept that but take your phone in case you have to call someone. I don't want anything to happen to you." Elliot lay down by Olivia and wrapped his arms around her. He rubbed his hands up and down her arms.
"I didn't intend to leave it there and I was just too damn tired from that conversation to go back up. I should have been more careful. I just…I didn't think you'd care and I couldn't handle that." Olivia's voice shook as she spoke.
"Oh, God, please don't think that. Don't ever think that. I just didn't know what to tell you. I didn't know if you'd even want to hear what I had to say once I thought of something. I'm sorry I put you through that. It took my daughter opening my eyes to realize what I did to you. Come home with me, please." Elliot kissed her cheek and realized she'd started crying.
"I just…don't shut me out, Elliot. I need you guys. I can't lose you." Olivia sobbed into his chest as the words hit home again.
"Shh…it's okay. I'm not shutting you out. I was an ass. I'm sorry, Liv." Elliot held onto her as he sat up and rocked her. He whispered into her ear, reassuringly.
"I want to go home but I'm so exhausted." Olivia breathed in the scent that was only Elliot.
"Come on. Jump on." Elliot let go of her and bent down on the floor.
"What? No, I'll hurt you." Olivia wiped her eyes and sniffled.
"Oh, please! You will not. Just get on or you're walking." Elliot saw her hesitate before climbing onto his back.
"Elliot?" Olivia leaned in and wrapped her arms around his neck loosely.
"Yeah, Liv?" Elliot strained to hear her as he started to walk out the door.
"Thank you for coming. When I looked up and didn't see you at the window, I felt like I lost you for good." Olivia whispered into his ear, her voice strained.
"It was the other way around. I thought I had lost you and I didn't think I had any right to ask you to come back. I thought I had screwed up the one thing I did right in my life. I have four beautiful kids that adore you and I almost lost that. I almost took you away from my kids." Elliot shifted her weight and walked down the stairs.
"I'm going to fall asleep." She heard Elliot chuckle as he walked out the precinct.
"I would think so after the little jaunt you took across Manhattan. You're going to regret that in the morning." Elliot opened the door and let her hop off before shutting the door behind her. He got in and started the engine.
"Don't remind me." Olivia went to lean her head against the window when she felt a hand on her arm.
"Here." Elliot patted his thigh and helped her settle her head onto his lap. He reached in the backseat and grabbed her jacket. He placed it over her and watched her breathing even out. Within seconds, she was asleep. He pulled out into traffic and steered with his left hand while his right found its way to hers. Their hands became laced as he drove. Every now and then he stole a glance at her slumbering form, wondering how he could ever make her think that he wouldn't come after her.