I don't quite know How to say How I feel
I had never been very good at expressing my feelings through words. Instead I always spoke my heart through my writing. Nick had been the same way, as he had told me once. So, after I gathered up every broken piece of my heart, I did what I do best. I wrote. I wrote songs and poems and short stories, you name it I wrote it. Hell I even wrote a book that was published and came out in book stores everywhere sometime during March called 'Miles to Go'. It was about my life up until then and the things I had been through. About my heart condition and my music. About my childhood and my career. And. partially, about my love. Some time before then my album called Breakout was released followed by my own movie, or at least the Hannah Montana movie. Needless to say I had a lot to keep my mind free of Nick Jonas, but not for long.
Those three words Are said too much They're not enough
One day I got a call from my destruction. Ok so not really, only hypothetically, but still. I got a call from the one, the only, Nick Jonas, that is, unless he has a clone on another planet, but that's another story. He had said that he missed me and that he loved me and that he was an idiot for dumping me. The entire time I listened to him silently thinking: why in the hell couldn't this guy have realized this months ago? In the end he explained that he wrote a song about us and that he wanted us to get back together and that he wanted me to record with them. We would, in the end, tell the press we were friends. Yes we did get back together. At the same time, however, I couldn't help, but question myself on the decision I had made. No, the world would never know we were together again, and no I wasn't really over Nick, and yes I did still love him undeniable. But was it really worth getting my heart broken again? Then again who was to say that I would get my heart broken again? Maybe this time it would work out for us and we would be together until the day we died. Then again happily-ever-after isn't really and maybe, just maybe I would end up swallowing more than I could handle. Maybe I would get my heart broken again. The only question was, this time, if he broke my heart again, would I be able to get over him?
If I lay here If I just lay here
Would you lie with me And just forget the world?
I lay down on my bed thinking about all of that. I thought about everything, all that had been, all that might be, everything. That is I thought about it until I finally fell asleep that night. I remember waking up happier than I had been in a wile. I had, for the first time in a wile, had a full nights sleep free of Nick Jonas nightmares. For the first time in months I could sleep without the pain of a heart broken teenager haunting my dreams. And to be honest it sure felt good. So I did what most happy teen-aged people normally do. I got out of bed, went down stars, had breakfast, and continued on with my normal morning routine. Later when Nick called me we talked for a hour and a half, hung up, and went to have dinner, separately, with our family's. In the end I was happy, he was happy, and most importantly we were happy, and together again.
Forget what we're told Before we get too old
Show me a garden That's bursting into life
In the next few weeks Nick and I started hanging out like we used to again. And unfortunately his fans noticed it. I learned to live with it though. He was famous just like I was and we were both living the dream. So, needless to say, it was something I was somewhat accustom to. I guess in the end we were just living our lives to the fullest. The way any life is meant to be lived. Like every day is out last. Kinda like that Tim McGraw song 'Live Like You Were Dieing' only different, sorta. Ok so maybe not different, but you get the gist of what I mean. We were happy and in the end to live life and to be happy is what it's all about. Isn't it?