Shampoo147: Well, two stories in one day!

Ayame: We don't own Zombieland (ha, remembered what it was this time) or any related characters.

Shampoo147: This was inspired by Thriller - Michael Jackson (R.I.P.) during second hour. Because no one can resist the thrill of a thriller! By the way, if anyone can accurately tell me what Little Rock (and Columbus) are saying, then review to tell me and I'll write a oneshot with any plot bunny you throw at me! (No character death, please).

Ayame: Well, Cheeze isn't here right now so . . .

Shampoo147/Ayame/Artemis/Ares/Garfield/Deeds: REACH FOR THE STARS, CHEEZE! HANG IN THERE!

Thriller

Spit-fuck was ignoring him.

Normally, Tallahassee wouldn't notice something like this, but he'd recently noticed that he was incredibly attentive to people like Columbus, the bitch was just so damn helpless . . .

And Tallahassee could admit that it was nice to be hero-worshipped.

So, it was really no surprise that he noticed that spit-fuck was giving him the cold shoulder/silent treatment. He'd embrace it, if it was someone like Wichita, but he had a bit of a soft spot for the spit-fuck and a smaller spot for Little Rock, but the bitch was his to protect, so he was going to protect him.

Anyway, back to the issue, his bitch was ignoring him.

And he didn't know why.

He'd been okay with it for the first day or so, figuring that the group bitch was sulking or in a mood. Unfortunately, this seemed to be a bad move on his part because now the bitch was mad at him.

And Wichita was pissed at him because apparently his bad mood was transferred to Little Rock, who was siding with Ohio; leaving Wichita and Tallahassee together . . . again.

'What the fuck did I do, spit-fuck?' Tallahassee thought irately, hating the growing trend and friendship between Little Rock and Ohio. Wichita already vented to herself (Tallahassee was taking a piss in the bush next to her at the time, so he heard her) that she couldn't even leave because Little Rock didn't want to leave Ohio. In short, Wichita was stuck with them from now on.

Haha, take that you bitch . . . now if it could stop affecting him.

"Damn it, make up with Columbus already!" Wichita snapped suddenly.

Tallahassee barely glanced at her before replying, "What the fuck am I supposed to do? How the hell am I supposed to know what I did to make Spit-fuck mad at me? Besides, your sister seems to be pretty pissed at you too, Bitch."

"She wasn't mad at me until you fucked up with Columbus." Wichita replied.

Tallahassee readjusted his grip on the steering wheel and glanced behind him to make sure that Spit-fuck and Little Rock were still sleeping before saying, "Well, I was thinkin' about that. We both know that there's no shit chance in hell that I am going to apologize to a bitch who's acting like a girl on her period," Wichita glared at him, "So, what the hell are we supposed to do?"

Wichita snorted, "What can we do? We can't hurt them and asking them what's wrong will probably make it worse. What's left?"

"Think, Spit-fuck is a phobic-ridden bitch and Little Rock is a little girl. What's their common weakness?" Tallahassee growled, not liking their lack of solutions. With zombies it was easy, kill them or die.

Wichita glared at the glove compartment, trying to work out what the two would have in common.

They couldn't think of anything that would work both on them at the same time.

"Little Rock, you want some Jolly Ranchers?" Wichita asked as they set up for the night. Little Rock didn't even glance at her before turning opening the door to the bathroom with a kick. They were about to turn away when a zombie suddenly threw himself out at them . . . only to have his head blown off by a firecracker.

"Fuck yeah! I love them M-80s!" Tallahassee crowed as they converged around the bathroom door. Columbus was frowning at them, reminding them that one of his rules was to be cautious of bathrooms or something. Wichita nodded her thanks and Little Rock turned to Columbus and said, "Dobby brosay, eh bratty?"

Another thing that was irritating Tallahassee and Wichita was that Little Rock had started speaking weirdly again (they now knew that it was related to that movie Columbus liked). Columbus sometimes replied plainly, but he had taken to replying back in that gibberish (to Tallahassee and Wichita, Spit-fuck and Little Rock seemed to understand each other just fine).

"Real horrorshow." Spit-fuck replied.

In a flash of neural synapses, Wichita had the answer.

"Think it'll work?" Wichita asked, loathed to ask Tallahassee this, but she was needing reassurance.

"It was your fucking idea." Tallahassee snapped. Wichita sighed before nodding, then turning to the younger pair. "Hey, Columbus, Little Rock, we're going to put on a movie." She saw that the two seemed interested in what they were going to watch on the big screen (they had stumbled back into Beverly Hills and were now in some real estate agent's house; the screen was a big screen, there was chilled champagne, and the DVD player was a surround sound).

Columbus and Little Rock had been lugging out a dead zombie (Tallahassee had literally shoved an umbrella up the fucker's ass until it reached his head, making the Zombie Kill of the Week), so they pulled it outside (the back yard had already been cleared) and wandered back in just in time for Tallahassee to hit play.

Hesitant to break their silent treatment, Columbus and Little Rock wandered into the corner of the room to watch, just as Wichita had predicted they would. She caught Tallahassee's eye and gave him a subtle thumbs up.

Columbus couldn't fucking believe it. This movie was more fucked up than Paranormal Activity.

First there was the crazy-ass girl running around talking about some fuckin' town no one's heard of and now there was-

"Holy Fuck, they just set her on fire!" Ohio cried as he hid his face into Tallahassee's jacket. There'd be no end to the teasing he'd get, but he had an overactive imagination and was being scared shitless, so it didn't really matter right now.

Little Rock released a similar squeak and hid her face into Wichita's shirt. Both Tallahassee and Wichita gave each other a covert thumbs up.

Just as Wichita had predicted, neither Columbus nor Little Rock could resist watching the movie, even though they were being scared so badly. And, just as predicted, they had promptly turned to their respective protectors for comfort.

There'd be hell to pay later for this, but they got what they wanted.

Neither Little Rock nor Columbus will be giving them the cold shoulder; they'd need the comfort only their protectors could offer for a while.

Little Rock/Columbus – 1

Wichita/Tallahassee – 1