Day 2
Fuck. I should write this down while the memory is still fairly vivid, and before anyone wakes up. I've stalled long enough having a shower and tea and a bit of a walk to come back to myself (possibly literally). I don't know how to tell the difference between PTSD nightmares and an actual connection with (and therefore danger from) Riddle. All right, no more stalling, I'll write down what happened.
[a bit of an ink blot as though the quill waited for a while before moving] In the dream, I was slow. Or Riddle was faster. He got to a wand fast enough to blast mine away and tie me up again. But it was worse than just being trapped again or stuck back where I was. He - the Riddle in my dream - knew what I'd done when I was awake. And he said I wasn't awake at all, but that all of yesterday had been an illusion to raise my hopes and then shatter them and that I was still trapped with him forever and that my precautions were no good and he wasn't even impressed anymore-
Stop. I know it wasn't true. I woke up. I'm ok. What did I learn?
-I might want to take Dreamless Sleep before bed, at least until I have better Occlumency
-Either Riddle can still know what I know, or it's just my brain, and of course it knows what I know
-I don't have any way to tell if I'm dreaming. I was being tortured, and I kept thinking I couldn't die, and then Riddle said coolly "'Can't die in a dream?' Why, Miss Granger, how would you know? Have you ever tried?" Is there any way I could know? (note: my brain has memories of much worse pain than ever before, so I shouldn't take intensity as proof that it's real.)
-It ended when I killed him. Maybe that breaks the connection? Maybe it's PTSD's way of healing itself (see, he's just a person, an Avada will take him down, it's ok)
Actions to take
-Take Dreamless Sleep tonight at least (if Mme Pomfrey gives permission)
-Try to read up on PTSD, get Muggle textbooks
-No way to test if Riddle is picking up information from me, he's in no position to act on it, outside my dreams
Maybe more positive visualization of beating him? If it is PTSD, that did break me out of the terror. Possible to calm anxiety by just doing a bit more research into counter curses and anything more aggressive?
Wait. That curse he used on me was new. I don't remember learning it. I think it was called Scelesti Sanguinium. That sounds right. He was using it to boil my blood. I should look it up. Could I have heard about it anywhere? Is it something that ever would have been mentioned around me? Or is it new information straight from him?
Stop. Don't panic. I may have made it up. I need to verify a Blood-Boiling Curse even exists. I can't test it on an animal. It would be awful and it would be hard to verify it actually did what he said anyway. I might need to sneak into the Restricted Section.