STORMY WEATHER

Chapter 2

"I'm going back to my quarters," Jaina said, taking her mug, the one that read, 'I Love My Attitude Problem.' It had been a gift from Aunt Mara during Winter Fete several years back. "And don't follow me!"

How dare he, she thought, keeping her head down so as to not show him that tears were burning her eyes.

"Jaina, we need to talk," Jag said, keeping his voice as level as he could. There was a quaver in it that seldom surfaced.

"No. Apparently you need to talk. There's no 'we.' There hasn't been a 'we' for two years!" Jaina stomped away. If anyone had seen her in action, they'd have sworn that she was interacting with Jag the same way her parents had interacted with each other over two decades earlier.

"And it was the stupidest thing I ever did!" Jag called out to her.

"Yeah, it wa-what?" Jaina stopped in her tracks. "What did you say?"

"I said," Jag said, his level tone elevating, "that it was the stupidest thing I ever did!"

"Well, yeah, it was," Jaina said coldly. "I loved you and you didn't appreciate it. So you're an idiot. You know how I feel about idiots."

Jag cracked a wry smile. "Jaina, everyone knows how you feel about idiots."

"So why are you following me?"

"I said we need to talk."

Jaina stood there, unmoving, but she was nearly dizzy from the emotions bombarding her. Her Force senses, which were a sort of radar for her, were utterly jammed.

"I don't want to talk here," Jaina told him.

"In your quarters?" Jag asked her. It was not spoken salaciously; it was as if he was trying to make her comfortable. He wasn't being particularly successful in this regard.

"No. Somewhere else," Jaina told him.

"We could go to the canteen instead," was Jag's other suggestion.

"No. I'd like to go off base." Jaina didn't trust her fragile emotions, and while the base was quiet, there were officers on duty. The base, like all closed systems, thrived on gossip, rumor and innuendo. She didn't want anyone catching the two of them together and hearing anything they might have to say.

"All right," Jag agreed. "But not in a place where we have to shout to be heard."

"And where we won't run into people we know," Jaina added.

Jag thought for a moment. "I think I know a good place."

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Jag signed out a speeder and the two headed off.

"Where are we going?" Jaina asked.

"You'll see," was Jag's terse response.

The two were quiet as they left the base in the distance. The cities and suburbs soon were behind them, and all around was greenery.

Jag expertly slowed the speeder as they headed into a green meadow. Jaina, who'd spent her life on Coruscant till she was fifteen, gasped as she viewed waterfalls streaming down from the surrounding mountains into a rushing river. There was a blazing palette of flora all around.

"You wanted to go somewhere private," Jag said as he touched the speeder down so gently that Jaina barely noticed.

"Where are we?"

"The Ressl River," Jag answered. He opened the canopy and jumped out, intending to help Jaina down, but she'd hit the ground as quickly as he had.

The waterfall sounds were mixed with the songs of birds flying overhead and hidden in trees. Otherwise, there were no other sounds.

"It's nice," Jaina said, her confusion mounting. She wanted to be here. She didn't want to be here. She couldn't figure anything out…

"Let's walk," Jag suggested. He didn't offer his hand or arm; Jaina wasn't sure if she was relieved

or upset by the lack of said gesture.

She wasn't sure of anything right now.

They walked in silence for a time, watching the white water rapids of the river racing over the rocks, the clear blue sky reflected in it. When they finally arrived at a shallow pool, the emerald water cool and still, Jaina looked sharply at Jag.

"You said you wanted to talk, there's a rock we can sit on," Jaina told him.

Both climbed onto the rock and made themselves comfortable. Jag was still silent.

"What was it you wanted to say? It must've been important if you signed out a speeder and brought me out here."

Jag swallowed. He seemed ill at ease.

"I told you back at the base that I made a stupid mistake," Jag began quietly.

"And was that mistake me?" Jaina asked. She was not trying to demonstrate anger or impatience, but Jag seemed less willing to talk then before.

"Yes. No. The mistake-the mistake was breaking up with you!" Jag was not given to emotional displays, and he almost choked as he nearly shouted it out. He couldn't look at her as he said it.

"I'm over here! Talk to me," Jaina said, deliberately softening her tone. Force, don't fail me now! she pleaded silently.

"That's what I wanted to tell you," Jag said quietly.

Jaina shook her head, her ire rising. "And that's it? That's all?"

Jag glanced at her furtively. "Well...not exactly."

"Maybe it wasn't a mistake," Jaina told him. "You told me it was a mistake back in the corridor. Why'd you bring me all the way out here?"

"I guess...I don't know...would you reconsider...taking up where we left off?"

Jaina had wanted him to say this for so long, but now that she was listening to it, she wasn't sure. Her Force sense was a mess, giving her no clear guide, and her emotions were tangled even more.

"I love you, Jaina," Jag said softly, extending his hand and gently taking hers. Like her mother, her hands were small and his enveloped hers easily.

"I love you, too, Jag," Jaina said. "It's just...I don't know. It hurt me so much when you left."

"I know."

"You made me cry, and you know I don't cry," Jaina said, her tone accusing.

"I was using my head, not my heart," Jag said. "That's what I do when I'm running from myself. I didn't realize then that what I needed was to look at what I felt, but it was so much easier to say, let's concentrate on our careers. Mostly, I didn't feel I could give you what you needed."

"Like I said, maybe it wasn't a mistake," Jaina reiterated. "I worked very hard on my studies at the Praxium, and I've busted my hump here." And I've been damn lonely doing it, she added mentally. "And what makes you think you know what I needed, anyway?"

Jag was unusually awkward, not able to look up at her, even though he could feel her amber eyes piercing him. They were still clasping hands.

For two years, Jaina had dreamed of this moment, and now that it had come, she wasn't sure how she felt. Why did it always have to be so kriffing complicated?! She loved this man! She had always hoped that he'd come back to her. She'd expected, perhaps unrealistically, to jump at it. Instead, she was an emotional mess.

"Let's walk again," she suggested. The two walked along the river, silently trying to sort out their thoughts.

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The river walk was restful and quiet.

Jag was the one to break the silence first.

"You know, you don't have to give me an answer right now," Jag said softly. "I know I put you through a lot, and I know you might need time."

"Thank you for that. I love you, Jag. I just...I just don't know."

I need to talk to someone, Jaina thought. Someone who gets it. Someone who gets me.

She hoped that that person would be available once they returned to base.