I stand in the storm, barely aware of the rain's moisture seeping through my soaked clothes. The scent of it, however, is pure exhilaration to my nose and almost nostalgic to my mind. The wind sweeps down and cuts through the path of the droplets, forcing them to change their course and sabotage my mortal flesh like soft bullets. Suddenly aware of the tears cascading down my cheeks, mixing with the rain, my hand reaches up to brush them away, although it is impossible to keep the liquid away from my exposed skin. My hair is nothing but wet strands now, my vision blurred from not wearing my glasses. Though the air is a bit humid, the sheet of drizzling rain makes me shiver. I feel the familiar chill of goose bumps traveling up my arms and the back of my neck, but I don't have what I came for yet. I come to many of Nature's storms for solace. The pain is welled up inside me, waiting for an opportunity to release itself, but I am not ready yet. The storm's tempo increases considerably as the pounding of rain connecting with the pavement grows louder. Almost there.

The grass around me is beginning to flood with the ever-lasting downpour and my clothes are beginning to feel heavy, but as the storm increases, so does the pressure within me. I should be contented for what I've received. But I deserve so much more, and so does she. As much as I hate thinking about it, Mom has the wild streak of a rebel within her, but she's too afraid to wake up and know who she really is without Elmer's assistance. My chest begins to tingle and ache with the heartbreak of the lies and deception, but I hold it back for now. She lets herself go away from him from time to time, but she always returns like a lost puppy. She has no real friends, she doesn't leave the house outside of work, and Anne is her only window to temporary freedom away from this life we are forced to live. Anne is an old friend of Mom's from college. She helped Mom gain independence from Elmer the first time as well as the second, but I am still waiting for a third time. I'll be forever waiting.

The event plays itself out in my head as if it were a movie. I can pause, slow down any part I feel, rewind, or fast-forward. I remember that Anne and Mom had their share of fights, but nothing that their friendship couldn't overcome. Except when it comes to him. I wasn't there when it happened, but I heard the details. Mom asked Anne to go to a salon with her, but there was a change of plans and Elmer went in her place. Anne still showed up and there was a fight. From this point on, if anything is mentioned about Anne in our house, Elmer's temper lets itself run loose.

I only see my best friend every once in a while. Her name is Sarah. She's Anne's daughter. Perfect, huh? Only, when Mom was restricted from seeing Anne, I was restricted from seeing Sarah too. It wasn't stated, but you can see it in his eyes. He has to control everything. We've seen Anne and Sarah two times in the past week, but before that, it was months since we'd seen each other. We have fun, just like in the old times. We blast loud music together, we joke around, we act like we're family. And we are. But Elmer still disapproves. Melissa loves Sarah, or, as she calls her, Sasa. She acts like more of a sister to her than I do. I try, but Elmer is her father. And it still hurts.

Last night, when we left Anne and Sarah, we hugged and all told each other we loved everyone, but I could see the sadness in Sarah's eyes. She's afraid we won't ever see each other again. And she may be right. The entire ride home, I had to withhold my tears. Now is the time to release them. I scream with the sudden clap of thunder, letting my vocals unhinge and display my pain so openly in front of no one. I fall to my knees, my jeans soaking in a nearby puddle, but it doesn't matter. I close my eyes and stop screaming to catch my breath, but as soon as I do, another thought haunts me.

If it weren't for Elmer, David would still be with us. As painful as his current status is to hear much less experience, he is my big brother. He was there for all the bad things that happened to me, he would always tease me, he would always disappoint me, but I always have held my faith in him. My sister-in-law, Marisa, is pregnant. I will never lay eyes on the child. My heart aches for someone to talk to. Whether it's Sarah or David, they are all gone from me, and I am left with only the storms to console me. I scream again, my throat already raw, but I find that I can't stop. I need help. I know where to find it.

My hand immediately grasps the silver cross on a beaded chain around my neck as I halt screaming, but I begin again soon after. Why can't I feel Dad here with me? Have I lost all the strength he has given to me? I try to gather the shards of myself and form just a portion of what I was before, but all I receive is hopelessness. Hope. An emotion I no longer experience, especially after my father's death. I'm so tired, but I continue to scream in pain, as does my body. The tears form tiny rivers down my face now, dripping off my chin, but I don't care. I have no one. All because of one person. Has the Devil possessed my stepfather just to have fun with me? Probably.

But, soon after thinking of that statement, I feel him. The wind blows gently now as my throat is too dry to scream any more, caressing my face as if there were a hand placed there. The rain has slowed to a drizzle, overshadowed by my panting. I grow calm as the wind ripples through my hair, gripping my cross, feeling Dad right here with me, telling me to keep having faith in the one person who it is important to have faith in--myself. Now my tears are the only thing soaking my face, and I look up to see the sun peeking out through the clouds. He's here. And he's telling me to hold on. And I will. Forever. For him.