A/N: Well, that was fun wasn't it. Anyways, I'm back at it with another chapter of parts of a story accompanied by stupid line breaks.
Obligatory Disclamer: Obviously I don't own the rights to the source material.
Right, reviews. A whole five of them! Here's the thing: I won't respond to reviews individually; instead, I shall write a blurb of text that should hopefully cover everything.
Here goes nothing. Undertale is a decent game. So, by that logic, this should be a decent story. I'm glad you somewhat liked it. And the pairing won't be Nancy or Annabeth. I actually need to look up the story that has that now since I haven't heard of it. It is understandable, considering lots of stories use this trope as a basis, and then they all spiral off differently. I tried to make it fairly funny, and obviously if you're reading this, then I wrote more.
Reading that again, it didn't make sense but I don't care too much. Oh well.
Nevertheless, picking up at part 5.
My Normal Mythological Life- Part 5 (School field trips)
Percy, of course, knew what was going to happen with Mrs. Dodds, but for now, he was behaving in a similar manner to how he had acted last time. The note had made a point of saying not to change events any more than necessary, considering that could throw the entire timeline for a loop and cause Percy to lose his biggest advantage.
He was starting to realize just how important information was. He could see why Annabeth had been obsessed with knowledge and making plans and utilizing logic in the previous timeline.
Of course, this made his heart hurt, but Percy had already decided not to treat Annabeth as a friend. Considering her fatal flaw was hubris, it would make sense she would try and leech off of Percy's popularity as Poseidon's kid and hero of Olympus. He didn't know for sure, but she obviously had been attracted to Luke prior to Percy...
Percy's private thought bubble was smashed by Nancy accidentally on purpose shoving Grover into him, knocking both of them down. Or at least, that's what he wished had happened. Instead, Grover grabbed onto Percy, who tried to balance by swinging his arms wildly. Careening in a large arc, Percy and Grover rolled through the main tour group, knocked over one of the barriers where they weren't supposed to cross into an exhibit, and proceeded to tumble down onto a few pedestals with a bunch of old pots on them.
Of course, the shattering sound following touchdown alerted them to the situation they had caused. Nancy was snickering while the rest of the class just stared.
Chiron, or rather, Mr. Brunner wheeled over in stunned silence.
"Oops?" Percy tried for an innocent smile.
Rock Paper Scissors (The start of what may become a running gag)
"You ready, G-man?" Percy spoke.
Grover bleated nervously. "Actually, I'm not human, I'm a satyr-"
"-not the point. I assume you know the rules?" Percy asked.
"Um, I think? Scissors beats paper, paper beats rock, and rock beats scissors."
"Alright, lets go."
"3... 2... 1... go!"
Percy had played paper, while Grover had played rock.
They played again. Grover again played rock, while Percy once again played paper.
This happened a few more times.
"Why are you only playing rock?" Percy finally asked.
Grover trembled. "Just think. Paper is made from dead trees... it makes you wonder how many forests are destroyed from Rock Paper Scissors games..."
"... it's just a hand symbol."
"But still!"
"Alright, well, why don't you play scissors?"
"Because if you played paper, it would do disservice to the tree's memory."
"What?"
Grover bleated angrily. "Can we stop playing this now?"
Percy backed up a bit. "Okay, how about we change the game... what about... Zeus, Poseidon, Hades?"
"..."
"Zeus zaps Poseidon, Poseidon floods the underworld, and Hades is underground so Zeus can't do anything?"
"Surprisingly, that doesn't really make a whole lot of sense but it's better than what you usually come up with."
"... wow..."
"By the way, Percy, where are we?"
"I don't know."
Little did they know, the location of the scene was blatantly irrelevant considering it only exists as a desperate attempt at humor.
My Normal Mythological Life - Part 6 (A bad day to be a pot)
Percy was enjoying the trip this time. While Nancy and some other kids were just talking and snickering, he was actually reading the plaques in front of thousand-year old pottery. He caught Chiron glancing at what appeared to be a grave for a teenage girl as if he had been there at the funeral, which he honestly probably had.
Grover was walking in silence, trying to limp along with his fake human legs. Percy, of course, knew the truth, but for the sake of continuity, he decided not to point this out.
They continued through the museum until they reached where Chiron had quizzed him on mythology before. Percy waited, but it seemed that Mr. Brunner/Chiron wasn't going to ask him. Then, Percy remembered why he had been called out in the first place and decided to replicate it as best he could.
"Will you SHUT UP!" he yelled, giving Nancy's little group of bullies the wolf-stare he had learned from Lupa in the past/future.
Nancy and Co. turned bright red.
"Do you have something to say, Mr. Jackson?" Brunner spoke in a disapproving tone.
"No, but I think Nancy did," Percy shrugged, stealing a glance at the truly guilty party.
Nancy dropped her smug look and turned bright red.
"Very well. Nancy, care to explain what this picture represents?" Mr. Brunner spoke.
Percy wore a smirk, though he noted the difference in events.
Nancy stuttered. "Um... I don't know..."
Chiron/Mr. Brunner sighed. "Well, would you, Perseus, care to explain to Nancy what this image depicts?"
Percy inwardly grinned, but decided to provide a stupid answer as well. "Well... that's the titan Kronos eating his kids, right?"
"... and he did this because...?" Chiron made a hand motion signaling Percy to continue.
"Well, he didn't want them taking over the world as new rulers, so he decided to eat them instead."
This got a lot of ewws from the girls in the group. Nancy looked like she was about to puke.
"But Zeus escaped somehow, and made Kronos throw up his kids and then they killed him and took over anyway."
Percy paused to listen to the sound of someone throwing up. Looking back, he saw Nancy with her head in some ancient pottery. Some museum staff started running over, so she took off deeper into the museum, and more regurgitating noises could be heard fading away.
All Percy could think of was 'Man, the pots are having a rough day'.
Grover looked at him funny. Percy remembered he could supposedly sense emotions.
"... On that happy note, it's time for lunch..." Chiron sighed audibly.
Pine Tree (Poor Thalia)
"I'll hold them off!" Thalia shouted. She glanced around, realizing she was surrounded by monsters. Aww, crap.
"Wait, guys!" She turned, but Annabeth, Grover, and Luke were already running down into the camp. "Actually, a little help would be appreciated! ... guys?"
Thalia groaned as she swiped with her spear. It was hopeless. At least she was able to live a good life. Oh, wait. My life was terrible.
Thalia was about to try to sweet talk some of the monsters into letting her go, but then she felt something change. Her feet suddenly fell into the ground, but when she tried to step out of it, she found she couldn't move her legs. She frantically waved her arms while looking down. To her surprise, her legs had been replaced with the roots of a tree, and bark was slowly covering her torso. She screamed as her arms were suddenly forced to her sides against her will and the bark grew over her hands.
She twisted and turned in her prison, trying to break free while the bark just kept creeping higher and higher. Looking to her left, she saw branches and pine needles sprouting from her sides, and suddenly, the bark was over her mouth. She couldn't talk anymore, and her eyes were wide in fear.
She couldn't move her head at all, and when the bark encased her head completely, everything was black.
I am now a tree, aren't I? Yup, I'm a tree. What else is new?
Thalia reached out with her senses. She couldn't see, she could barely hear, and she couldn't move.
She heard Annabeth's voice, muffled a bit. "Thalia!" The little girl was obviously crying. Thalia tried summoning lightning to herself. It didn't really work.
Oh... well... are the monsters gone?
Thalia felt magic surge through her new body as she suddenly felt completely high.
Oh my gods what is happening why does it feel like I ate ten packs of ambrosia?!
To the outside observer, the tree appeared to be supercharging a barrier that acted like a brick wall to the monsters chasing the group of demigods.
My Normal Mythological Life - Part 7 (Mrs. Dodds dodders)
Percy was pulled aside by Chiron, who repeated the same speech about how mythology applied to Percy's life in ways he didn't yet know. Of course, Percy had heard all of this before, but he nodded and tried not to act bored.
Percy walked to where Grover was sitting. He was being used as a trash can while Nancy's group threw their trash on him. He thought he saw Grover eating the tinfoil from the sandwiches, but Grover noticed him and stopped acting like a satyr.
"Hey, Percy," he called.
"Hey, G-man. What's new?"
"We got here like an hour ago, what could happen?" Grover asked, bleating nervously. Obviously, he was worried about a monster attack.
Percy shrugged. "Who knows. Well, obviously, Nancy is being a jerk again, as usual."
Grover gave Percy a look that clearly said "don't make a scene... please don't make a scene..."
Percy decided to make a scene. He stood up, walked over to Nancy, and shoved her, hard. She screamed, stumbled, and then was doused in water which yanked her back into the fountain.
Grover gave Percy a look that clearly said "oh gods, he made a scene."
Sure enough, Mrs. Dodds caught the use of demigod powers of awesomeness, and proceeded to ask Percy to follow her.
Grover tried to protect him, but to no avail.
Similar to last time, Percy followed the monster deep inside the museum, both walking purposefully. He didn't bother asking any questions, as he already knew what would happen.
Or, at least he thought he did.
The events proceeded up until Mrs. Dodds transformed into her fury form, brandishing a red hot whip.
"Die!" she yelled, and Percy glanced towards the adjoining hallway where Mr. Brunner was supposed to give him Riptide. But this didn't happen.
Percy cursed, ducking and rolling to put some distance between himself and the monster. Maybe I was too fast. I should've delayed or asked questions or something like last time. After all, a wheelchair can only move so quickly, I guess...
Percy saw Mrs. Dodds lunge for him, and he whirled around, grabbed yet another unfortunate piece of pottery, and threw it into his teacher's face as hard as he could. The pot exploded, and somehow, some of Nancy's throw-up splashed straight into Mrs. Dodds' face.
Percy gaped, open mouthed as the furious monster staggered under the relentless assault of putrid smell. Chiron, finally arrived, and Percy felt Riptide in his hands once more.
Now that he had his sword back, he realized how much he had missed it while it had been gone. In a fluid motion, Mrs. Dodds was exploded into gold dust, and Percy made his way back out of the museum in shock and confusion.
Okay, so maybe small changes really do have huge impact on the timeline. I made fun of Nancy, and she wound up inadvertently saving me, though not in a good way.
Back outside, Mr. Brunner nonchalantly took the pen back from Percy, who hated to part ways with it. He barely looked up from the magazine or newspaper he was reading. "Please remember to bring your own writing utensil in the future."
Percy frowned. I should remember to bring my own weapon in the future as well.
He was actually feeling slightly guilty. Though not above damaging a little bit of the surrounding environment, Percy occasionally had to make use of the weapons he was given. This meant borrowing some objects that were either pointy, sturdy, or pragmatically useful in battle. In this scenario, an unfortunate pot was sacrificed so that Percy could live on, not that death was much of an inconvenience, anyways.
Percy sighed.
Robot (The kind robots will be doing soon)
Hephaestus frowned, pressing the button to activate his newest robot invention.
It beeped and whirred into life.
"Robot, clean this oil spill!" Hephaestus ordered.
The robot made its way over to where a small oil puddle from a leaky can marred the perfectly clean expanse of floor. The robot sprayed water with a garden hose in an attempt at cleaning, failing miserably.
Hephaestus frowned.
My Normal Mythological Life - Part 8 (Grades)
After the museum incident, Percy had to wonder where the heck the new math teacher came from. He knew the mist was powerful and all, but could it really just spontaneously create a new human being like that? Or did it teleport this person from somewhere else? These were all thought provoking questions he would ask Hazel to ask Hecate about it in a few years, if he remembered about it later.
One particular subject Percy was having difficulty with was English, of course. The teacher was some old man, and he always pressured Percy despite his dyslexia, often saying things like "How can you not read this?" or "Just look at it a little longer!"
He ticked Percy off.
Nevertheless, he'd asked the teacher to help him read with dyslexia to no avail. Yet of course, he was still expected to write essays and such. If you can't even read half the words on a page, how are you supposed to write?
Grover tried to help him. The satyr would occasionally help Percy get through his reading assignments, whether by correcting words or just reading it out loud.
But Percy also struggled in another class. And another. And another.
On this particular occasion, he was nearing the end of a dreadful English session. Even though he'd taken the class before, that didn't change the fact that he had dyslexia, and he was less-than-enthusiastically awaiting the results of a test.
When his name was called, he walked up, grabbed the paper, then sat down in his seat next to Grover.
"What did you get?" Grover asked.
"I don't know, G-man, I can't even read my score."
"Let me see." Grover looked at the paper. "Holy Hera, Percy! You got an 84!" He then covered his mouth and bleated slightly when he realized he'd just said an Olympian goddess's name out loud, but Percy pretended not to notice the slip-up and decided to continue to act ignorant.
"Woah!" Percy said, genuinely surprised. The test was mostly multiple choice, and whenever he couldn't understand the question, he would pick a random answer and move on. Unfortunately, this wasn't the best strategy, but it seemed to do him some good here. Either that or he was having some insane luck for a change.
This did not last long, considering his next class was math.
Percy dug around in his desk, binder, and backpack, but he couldn't find his homework. He distinctly remembered doing it the previous night, but it was nowhere to be found. He was panicking, and he had been in such a good mood since the English test as well.
"Grover, I forgot my homework!"
"So you didn't do it? You can copy off of mine-
"Don't make me look like I'm lazy! I did it but I don't have it!"
"Well, you can still copy... wait... it was a handout."
"Yup..." Percy groaned, standing from his desk and approaching the door.
"Percy, you'll never make it to the dorm and back in time!"
Percy steeled himself for an all out sprint and opened the door.
The new teacher who had magically appeared was standing there. "Class is starting, please take your seats!"
Percy stifled a sob. The homework was worth points, and he had to salvage the situation somehow. So, putting on his best teacher's pet-voice, he blinked. "Oh, excuse me, I was just going to the bathroom."
"You can go after we pass the homework in and start class."
Percy's face fell comically. "... but I really have to go, and I don't think I can wait a couple more minutes for class to start!" Smooth cover, Percy. Smooth excuse.
"Well, you can hand in your homework now, then."
Shoot! What do I do, what do I do, what do I do?! Percy wrestled his way through the open doorway and sprinted down the hallway.
The teacher blinked and shrugged before standing behind her podium to start class.
Signs of Intelligence (Poetry)
Apollo stood on his sun chariot, beaming. He was practicing his very useful hobby - poetry.
The sun shines down there,
Smiling upon the mortals.
I am so awesome.
He scribbled it down on a flash of paper before waving his hand and sending it to his sister. The paper caught fire and burned, but he knew she had received it.
Sure enough, an arrow nearly struck his face, but missed and embedded itself in the chariot adjacent to where Apollo sat. A note attached read "Stop sending me your poetry! And the last line is so vain!"
Apollo chuckled. His sister could not appreciate true poetry, but to humor her, he scribbled another haiku on the paper.
Conceited polished,
Bell-ringer pulsates, wailing.
Apes palpitate, loose.
Apollo sent that along, and once again received a note from Artemis.
"What the Hades was that, that doesn't even make sense anymore! PLEASE JUST STOP BOTHERING ME."
Apollo grinned.
A/N: I think I outdid myself with the poetry. And you can also see, I'm just making stupid stuff up between the parts of the main story. And even in the main story I'm just making stupid stuff up. But it kind of makes sense so I'll keep going with it.
Enjoy your next meal.