Author's Note: This is a Helga and Sid centered chapter.

Chapter Two:

Helga

How could I ever be tricked into joining these idiots? A party? What was Phoebe even thinking? I, Helga G. Pataki, am not one of those regular high school bimbos trying to score a boyfriend at the football team's party.

As soon as I walked into the room I felt the heat and sweat begin to stick to my body like a second skin. It smelled like alcohol, smoke, and teenage sin. There was so much fog in the air that I couldn't even see Phoebe or anyone else for that matter. All I could do was feel around bump into gross warm bodies and hope I ran into someone, ANYONE familiar.

Next thing I knew I walked smack dab into someone's hard chest and fell onto the ground. I could tell I knocked someone's drink out of there hand because I was immediately met with a shower of booze all over my head once my butt I hit the floor.

Criminey, my first party and I feel like I've already been bathed in liquor.

"Oh, uh I'm sorry." The voice sounded familiar. It sounded like the sweet, sweet voice of my beloved corn haired angel.

"A-Arnold." I muttered then quickly realized I smelled entirely like a bottle of vodka. "Why don't you watch where you're going? You big idiot! Now I smell like a mini bar! Thanks, Football Head."

"Helga?" He wafted the smoke and for a moment I could see his blue eyes. "Geez, I'm sorry Helga. Listen, let me help get you cleaned up and maybe go somewhere where we could see."

The music boomed and echoed from downstairs as we made our way upstairs. The upstairs was clearly off limits to the drunkards downstairs. It smelled nice and looked nice and the bathroom wasn't covered with vomit.

Arnold wets a cloth and handed it to me. Being in this bathroom alone with the guy I had been crushing on since pre-school was stifling. He was right here and we were alone. But here we were in a gross high school party. I almost wished we were somewhere else, alone together.

"Sooooooo," I could tell he wanted to make awkward small talk. "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same thing, Football Head."

After all the years of knowing him, he had never seemed like much of a partier or even a drinker. He had always been so pure.

"You know Gerald's on the team now. I come to support him." I wiped my shirt off and the wet spot seems to spread over the front of my shirt. He watched me struggle and said, "What are you doing here Helga? This doesn't really seem like your scene."

Criminey! I had been in this party for a total of 10 minutes, and already someone told me I didn't belong there. I should've stayed home! Stupid Phoebe claimed she wanted to spend time with me and I can't even see.

"I got invited Bucko." I ended up making the alcohol spot worse. Resistance was futile when it came down to it. "I-"

A noise came from down hallway and caused us both to jump. I found myself hugged tight to Arnold's chest. He smelled so good. Being this close to him made my heart beat fast and my girlhood quiver a bit. God, I had to get away with him. I didn't even drink and I already felt drunk as hell.

I shoved him off and said, "Move it Football Head! This isn't the time to cope a feel. Gross."

He was as calm as ever. "You jumped into me Helga but okay. Do you hear that groaning though? Sounds like someone's hurt."

The noise we were hearing consisted of a lot of banging and a lot of loud groaning, almost like someone was in pain.

"Some drunk idiot probably wandered up here and fell or something."

Another loud groan echoed down the hallway.

"We should check it out and see if everything is okay, Helga."

Of course, Mr. Goody Goody wanted to check it out. We made our way down the hallway as the sounds and banging got louder and louder. Once we were in front of the door which seemed to be where the noises were coming from we both froze.

"Open the door Helga."

"What! Me! God, no. It was your idea to be a Good Samaritian. Go get the drunk guy."

He relunctantly reached for the knob and knocked. "Hello, is everything okay in there?"

All that was responded back was a groan of a single name. Gerald.

Oh my God that was - "PHOEBE!" I yelled it at the top of my lungs to make sure she could hear me. I burst into the room.

"HELGA OH MY GOD!" There I was met with a naked Phoebe on top of an equally naked Gerald. Phoebe scrambled to cover her nude form with a blanket, while Gerald covered his family jewels with a pillow.

"Dude! What is WRONG with you? Get out of here Arnold." Arnold just stood in a mix of horror and awe at the couple. "GET OUT! Stop cock-blocking."

Gerald pounced over across the room, with his pillow cover in place, pushed us out of the room and then slammed it shut afterwards. Arnold and I both slide down the floor, completely dumbfounded at seeing out two best friends having sex.

"I-we need a drink." I said. Arnold nodded in agreement. I followed Arnold back to the smoke full downstairs, where he directed me towards the large keg in the backyard. We filled our cups up with the mysterious jungle juice and stood on the back porch.

The breeze blew softly through his corn colored hair. In the moonlight, he truly looked beautiful but all I could think about was Gerald's penis and Phoebe's pale ass.

"D-did you know they were doing that?" I asked after the silence had set in.

I had no idea Phoebe wasn't a virgin anymore like we had always promised. Shit, I had no idea about most things going on in Phoebe's life anyway. We were supposed to be best friends. I thought she would have at least told me when she did the deed with her boyfriend. We always shared everything with each other. Of course, I didn't want the gritty details but I felt like I should've known.

"Did I know they were having sex in there? God, no."

"NO Idiot. I meaaan in general?"

He frowned. He could tell I was upset. Fuck, now he was going to think I was pathetic.

"Gerald may have bragged at lunch about getting some action but I didn't ask the raw details about when and where and how. They've been together for a long time. I never thought they weren't doing it honestly." My heart dropped to my stomach. Arnold knew more about my best friend's life than me. "Helga… are you okay?"

"Of course I am. Don't be an idiot Arnoldo! Geez, that beer is really going to your head Light Weight." I chugged the entire cup of jungle juice in just a few moments. My stomach felt warm and it made me feel less empty.

I grabbed my second cup quickly.

"Um, I think you should slow down Helga. Have you even eaten anything?"

"Pst, I'm fine. My mom has been blending up her 'smoothies' my whole life. I'm not new to drinking."

"Smoothies?"

"She gets smashed. She gets lit. She gets drunk before 9AM. She drinks her smoothies. She's an alcoholic, Arnold. That spell it out for ya?"

"Helga, I think you should stop. It's jungle juice. It has a lot of alcohol in it and you don't need to be sick."

I chugged the second cup fast before he tries to snatch it away. "Why? Afraid I'll end up like my mother! Fuck off Arnold. I can take care of myself."

My head was already swimming. Fuck. That was a horrible idea.

"Come. I'll take you home Helga." Arnold grabbed my arm softly. I jerked away from him and ran into the smoke covered living room full of people. It was going to be impossible for him to find me in here.

One thing was certain, I needed another drink.

It felt like just a few minutes later, I had another cup in my hand and the room was spinning completely. I could hear faint voices when everything blacked out.

~/~

The next morning, I woke up in a bed that wasn't mine. I was freaking out. What the hell did I do? Oh my God. Oh my God.

I looked around and saw the pinkness of the sheets. A shade of pink that was immediately familiar to me.

"Rise and shine." Phoebe said opening the curtains that covered her large bay window. My corneas felt like they were being burned alive and my head pounding.

"Uh come on Pheebs!" I cover my face with a pillow which was quickly snatched from me.

"You need to get up and eat something Helga." My stomach growled the moment she mentioned food. "You threw up three times."

I must have been really drunk. Jesus, I had embarrassed myself at my first real party.

I eyed the clock. It was 6am.

"I'm sorry if you had to leave the party. You shouldn't have to take care of me Pheebs." Despite my hurt, Phoebe had always been a loyal friend.

"It's fine. I wasn't upset. Gerald was though."

She handed me a cup of water which made my dry mouth feel so much better. Phoebe sat on the edge of the bed quiet.

"So we're not going to talk about you and Geraldo?"

"Nothing to talk about Helga."

"Oh bullshit! I saw his entire ass cheek

Phoebe." Phoebe only sighed. "You weren't going to tell me at all?"

"It's different. Talking about that is something very intimate, very personal. Please understand."

"Since when have we ever shied away from the intimate details of life Phoebe? Christ, I told you about my abusive family and about Arnold. You couldn't tell me that you and Gerald were having sex." Maybe yelling at her was a little harsh but I felt like shit.

"I don't want to do it Helga. I mean, I enjoy it but I don't want to do it with him all the time. Things changed ever since he became the quarterback. I didn't know how to tell you that I don't enjoy having sex with my boyfriend as much as he does."

"Oh Pheebs. He doesn't force you does he?"

"No, no Gerald isn't like that. I just think he feels more pressured to do it now that he's around the other guys. Plus, he's around so many other girls. I want to keep him satisfied. After every game he wants to do it and even at parties and during the week when we study together. It's like he can't keep his hands off of me."

"It's because you're a hot babe. Duh Phoebe!"

"Thanks Helga, but he was really upset that you and Arnold caught us at the party."

"Wait a minute. That wasn't even his house. When did you get so freaky Pheebs? Doing the deed in other people's bedrooms."

Phoebe blushed as I laughed, trying to numb the hang over. It was almost like we were close again. Things with Phoebe would always be okay, even if things at home never were.

Sid

I had always been a small kid, which made a target for most of the bullies in my life. I was tired of being attacked by bigger guys like Gino. I needed to bulk up fast.

"I just want to know how to make him better Sid. He's ruining my image!"

"Are you insane? You don't get into relationships just to change a person Rhonda! You take him or leave him as he is."

"At first, I thought he was sweet and cute but nooooow my parents won't let me hear the end of how they disapprove of Harold."

"Pst well who gives a fuck about your parents Rhonda. If Harold makes you happy, stay with him."

"Oh how dare you. People's opinions matter everything to me, even if they are my own parents."

"Well since opinions matter so dearly to you, I'll give you mine." I clear my throat. "You guys have broken up 7 times in the past five months, just because you claim Harold isn't good enough for you. Break his heart again and come back if you want to but you'll have to answer to me next time Rhonda. Find someone who can match your level of conceit and let Harold be happy as he is."

"Don't be ridiculous. I love Harold. I just want him to slim down and stop being so unappealing in public."

"You know he tried to starve himself because you said you wouldn't take him to prom this year if he was fat. You said you didn't even want to be seen in pictures with him."

"I was only joking Sid! Harold, could stand to lose a few pounds. It makes life so difficult sometimes."

"Really, how?" I was waiting for her pathetic and ignorant excuse.

"Well he can't fit any of the designer clothes, I try to buy him and he gets tired so fast even from walking around the mall for a few hours." I get just about ready to tune her out when she says, "And the sex! It's so hard to do-"

"Whoa whoa you are not going to talk about Harold's or any other man's dick in my presence Rhonda. You got that."

"Well fine be a baby then but I was just saying I get so frustrated Sid."

"Buy a toy. End of story."

"I need a man, a real man that can satisfy my needs and last long enough to have me not needing more."

"You think I'm going to sit here and not tell him you plan on cheating on him?"

"Well, I'm not and I haven't. I've thought about it yes but I never had anyone to act out my frustrations on."

"Listen, Rhonda I think it's time I go now."

"But Sid! You didn't tell me the key to get Harold to change."

"You want Harold to change! Maybe if you stopped being a bitch things would be different. Good bye, Rhonda."

Since I had gotten suspended from school, my usual place to go was to hide out at Stinky's place until he got home. We played video games and drunk the Yahoo sodas he inherited from his endorsement.

Stinky was always the best at hatching plans.

"I reckon you got suspend again Sid. It's the third time this year."

"Yea, yea. Listen, I want to do another prank. I want it to be BIIIIIG! Like bigger than any of the shit I've ever done before."

"If you keep this up, you won't be able to go to prom."

"Who gives a shit about prom Stinky? It's months away and I thought you and I agreed that prom was stupid and we weren't going."

"Well since Harold got with Rhonda, I figured we'd have to go."

"There's a fat chance they'll make it to prom with the way Rhonda's going. Anyway, Stinky let's get away from prom. On to the prank."

"I reckon if you do something at prom, people will never forget."

"Holy shit! Stinky! You are the best! Prom night I'll unleash my vengeance on everyone. Just got to figure out what to do."

"Well that also means you have to go to prom to see it through."

"Ugh, you're right. I have to be on my best behavior until then and I need a fucking date. Need to make it believable."

"Why don't we go together?"

"Stinky that's gay. I'm not going to prom with another dude."

"What's wrong with gay people?"

"Dude, nothing is wrong with gay people. Why is everyone so sensitive? Can't a guy just plan the ultimate prank with his best bud and that be the end of it?"

"Sid, I've been meaning to tell you…"

"If this is about something dumb save it. I'm going home to plan my major awesome prank."

I grabbed my bag and headed home. Once I got there I could hear the sounds of my parents arguing. This wasn't new. They always argued. God know how they can even stay in the same room together without the result being a homicide investigation. I decided I would creep up to my tiny closet of as room and they wouldn't even notice I was there.

I spoke too soon.

"Sidney! Bring your ass in here!" My father's voice made me shake. He was a big, burly man who was balding, spoke Italian, and believed in every inch of the machismo aspect of masculinity.

He beat the shit out of me before he even considered taking me to see a therapist for my OCD. It was disappointment after disappointment when it came to my father. My muscles were never big enough, I never did well enough in school, I never had a girlfriend like a man should, and I certainly shouldn't show any emotion at all, unless I wanted to be lectured (or worse: paddled).

My father stood with his arms crossed against his chest while my mother cowarded in the corner. She was afraid of him, I knew, but at least they had eachother.

"What's this I hear about ya being suspended AGAIN? Jesus Sidney, if you can't be an athlete you could at least get good grades."

"I got in a fight Dad. It wasn't a prank this time."

I figured he'd lay off a bit if he knew it involved something physical.

I was right.

"Well did ya win son?"

"No he had three other guys with him. Clearly I didn't if my face looks like this."

It hurt to blink to be honest and looking at my dad's disappointed face wasn't helping my eye hurt less.

"The least you could've done is beat the guy's ass. What did I tell ya about fighting?"

I groaned, "Fight like a man. Never let anyone beat you in a fight."

"Exactly. You lost and you can't go back to school." He sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Go get that turkey leg from the freezer. Your eye looks terrible."

"Yes sir."

"And next time don't tell that principal to call us again. We work hard to put food on the table. If I miss one more hour of work over you, we won't be able to pay the mortgage."

"Yes sir."

I got the turkey leg and headed up to my room.

Fuck, how did he always manage to make me feel like shit? To him if I didn't have women fawning over me and gained 40 more pounds of muscles, I wasn't shit.

His words hurt more than my swollen eye, more than not doing my compulsions, and more than being alone.

A knock came at the door. It was my mother. She usually came to smooth things over. She was always so caring and I love her for that. She was the exact opposite of my Dad.

"Sid?" I heard the door open. "I know you aren't sleeping."

She sat on the edge of the bed while I covered my face with a pillow. I didn't want her seeing me like this. I knew it bothered her.

"Listen honey, you have got to stop messing around and stay in school. I don't want you ending up like me and your dad.

"Working over 60 hours a week at a minimum wage job and not having much to show for it.

I knew we were poor. Hell, everyone at school knew we were poor. While everyone else got new shoes and video games for Christmas, I got one gift at most. I wore the same clothes with holes in them and didn't have the latest cell phone or even air in my room like other kids. I didn't get that luxury. I didn't get a lot of luxuries that Stinky or Harold had.

"We love you. Your dad is just trying to get you to clean up your act. School can help you be better than us and have a future and get things we couldn't have even dreamed of. Don't you want more for yourself?"

I under my face and she sees the damage. She placed her hands on both of my cheeks tenderly.

"He yells at you Mom. He yells at you and makes you feel like shit. You shouldn't feel like that."

I should be the only one feeling like that.

"Oh Sidney. It's okay. We're just having money troubles."

"You are always having money troubles Mom. That's nothing new. He shouldn't tell at you. I can take it but you, you can't."

"Don't worry about me. Just do your best in school. It'll cut the yelling down some." She kissed my on the cheek. "Now, did you take your medicine? We don't need the water bill going up because you need to wash your hands constantly."

"I'll take it now ma."

She smiled at me with her tender smile and left the room.

Stupid Turkey Leg! I threw it across the room and it made a hole in the wall.

"Stupid me!"

Uhhhh. Why was nothing working out? If one thing was going to work out it was going to be this prank. To hell with all the kids at school.

But first I needed a date. I was going to start figuring out my plan when I got a text:

Harold: Rhonda and I broke up again.

Fuck, that was going to have to wait.

Author Note: What do you all think? Who do you want to hear from in the next chapter?