Sorry for the extreme wait on this! Hope it's been worth it :)
As usual, let me know what you think and feel free to point out grammar/spelling errors if you see them xD
If you can figure out what the quote in bold is from without googling it or otherwise looking it up on line then kudos! Let me know, maybe I can do a oneshot or drawing for you ;) No cheating!
I realize that the pursuit of peace is not as dramatic as the pursuit of war. And frequently the words of the pursuers fall on deaf ears, but we have no more urgent task. Too many of us think it is impossible, too many think it is unreal, but that is a dangerous, defeatist belief. It leads to the conclusion that war is inevitable. That mankind is doomed. That we are gripped by forces we cannot control. This generation has already had enough of war and hate. For in the final analysis, our most basic common link is that we all inhabit this small planet, we all breathe the same air, we all cherish our children's future and we are all mortal.
I was caught a bit more off guard this time. I vaguely recognized the contact as quick flashes of the night before reminded me that we'd done this already. Regardless of that and the heat that spread across my cheeks I still pushed him away. We couldn't have this kind of relationship… not only were we both male, I was a hybrid and he was a human. It would be frowned on enough that he wanted me as a pet, but if someone found out that we had something more than friendship there would be even bolder opposition. I averted my eyes as he tried to meet them.
"When you said you didn't regret anything, did you remember what happened in the alley?" he asked me quietly, suddenly unsure of himself. It was wrong, didn't fit him and it made me feel terrible. He was supposed to be a strong, bull-headed asshole, not an insecure weakling.
"Vaguely… but you have to realize that any relationship besides friendship would only make your struggle even more difficult. We can't be together Grim, I don't want you to be hurt the way I will," I told him, my hands lingering on his chest as it felt against natural instinct for them to leave without his permission.
"But that's what I want Ichigo…" he said, grasping said hands and holding them tightly.
"You're such a spoiled ass," I laughed, but the tone had no lightness to it and he frowned even more deeply at the noise. I sighed and finally met his burning blue eyes.
"Look, you're the best friend I've ever had, and I mean ever had. You take my shit and toss it back at me and I can do the same without worrying I'll hurt your feelings. It's not that I'm not interested, I just can't see any good coming of it…" I explained, knowing the hurt in his eyes was somewhat reflected in my own. How could I do this to the one person who seemed to care for me more than I had for anyone else?
"I still don't understand why you have so little hope… I'm doing everything I can to make sure you're safe and even my mom is here to help. She doesn't leave her lovely mansion on the beach for just anyone Ichigo, but she did when I told her what had happened," he told me, his hold growing tighter and tighter until I had to wriggle them free, "I really care for you. I've never felt this strongly about anyone else in my life, so could you at least pretend there's some hope? For me?"
"I'm just being realistic Grim…" I whispered, hanging my head again.
"No, you're not. Realistically there is every possibility that this will start a new upward trend. I know you don't necessarily think that being a pet is a good life, but maybe it will be a start towards better things," he told me, his smile only barely reaching his eyes.
"I'd say that would be more of a miracle than a possibility…"
"Don't you have any faith left in humanity?" he asked me in obvious disbelief. That struck a chord rather harshly in my chest.
"Faith in humanity?" I laughed at him in confusion, "Don't you know what humanity has done to my kind? Haven't you watched the news? I know I have, from at least infancy and all that humanity has ever done for us is segregate and discriminate! They've been killing us since our breed was born, fear driving them to get rid of anything new or different. That's how humans have always been and I doubt that one case of love from a human is going to change all of their minds. I do wish it would Grim, I want the world to be happier, for people to be more loving, accepting, even tolerable would be good enough for me, but I've seen too many long years of history that suggest it will never happen. What makes you think that it will?"
He looked at me with sympathy, but that's not what the point of my speech had been and I hoped that he saw that. I'd known him to be surprisingly deep at times so I prayed that this would be one of those for him. I let my fingers brush over his bent knees, reveling in the rough touch of fabric against my now uncensored senses. It had been so long since I'd allowed myself this privilege, so long since I'd seen the world through my real eyes. I'd never trusted anyone around me enough to… and now that I thought about it, I'd never really trusted myself enough to do it either.
That thought had old words and memories swirling through my head from the times when my brother was still alive. He'd always been the strong one, the headstrong one to be more precise. My father was more compelled to teach him how to fight and stand up for himself than he ever had with me. It really shouldn't have been that way, but I'd always been the weaker one, the one who needed to be protected. Granted things had changed when the fighting broke out. While my brother was out fighting my parents were teaching me new techniques and soon they realized that I was just as able as my brother had been. When he was captured though… they stopped teaching me completely. Immediately they had reverted to their 'protect' instincts and told me that I shouldn't be out fighting in a war. I was young, so I knew no one would have let me take on the humans anyways but that didn't mean I suddenly lost the desire to learn. When I was sent to the new family I went to self-defense classes, then eventually karate and some aikido from my foster mother. I was a force to be reckoned with after all of that.
"Humans love confrontation… I know that, perhaps even better than I really should, but I also believe that humans see the flaw in that and that they try to right their wrongs all the time. I speak from experience here. I was a very troubled kid growing up, but when I realized that the habits I had formed were not only bad for me, but bad for everyone I had surrounded myself with as well I tried to fix myself. For the most part I succeeded, but I'm still working on it. I'm sure that this battle will be tough as hell, but I've been there and back and I know that things will change, because life and living are change. We'll make it through this Ichi, I swear by my heart that we will," he told me, his eyes earnest and his voice strong. He really believed in his words, and it made me want to as well. I felt my own voice choke in my throat as I opened my mouth to reply.
"Grim I… I just…"
"Oh Grimmjow is he awake finally?" a feminine voice inquired as footsteps finally registered in my mind. I'd been so caught up in the emotions that I'd let myself ignore any outside distractions. If I let that happen again it could be the death of me and the one I loved. As it was, the woman who entered the room appeared to be of little threat. She kept her distance and observed us for a moment.
"Yeah mom, he is… Ichigo this is my mom, Lisa. She's real nice if you're on her good side," he said with a mischievous smile at said woman. She smiled at me, the genuine relief in her eyes somewhat soothing. She took a step towards us, her blonde hair shifting around her shoulders as eyes that matched Grim's examined the both of us closely.
"I assumed as much when you didn't come back to breakfast. How are you doing sweetheart?" she scolded him lightly before turning her attention to me.
"Alright… I've got a nice headache, but I've dealt with worse before," I said with a weak smile. She nodded, leaving the room without further prompting. I cocked my head in interest and Grim chuckled lightly.
"She treats every ache and pain like they will kill you. No doubt she'll be back shortly with some pills, an orange juice and a few water bottles for you, hangovers are her specialty," he told me with a soft smile as he ran his fingers through my hair. I sighed at the contact, content to simply not pull away.
"How much have you told the lawyer?" I asked him lowly. We needed to get this all figured out if he was dead set on fighting the government.
"I told him I found a hybrid that I want legal possession of. He'll be over later to discuss the specifics of course, but he doesn't know much yet."
"I need to call the school and let them know I won't be returning anytime soon…"
"I should probably do that… and I suppose the lawyer should be told about that as well."
"Well then let me call my parents. They need to go into hiding for sure, which is the worst part about all of this. The main reason for all of my secrecy is that if I were found out… they would be punished and likely accused of being hybrids themselves. They just had a little girl… she was so cute…"
"You're doing it again," Grim commented at he pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and dropped it on my lap.
"What?" I inquired, picking up the device and scrolling through my contacts to find the home phone number. My foster mother would still be at home with the kid at this hour.
"Being all negative. Everything will work out."
I didn't respond as the phone began to ring. One, two, three rings, then a 'hello'.
"Hey mom, it's Ichigo…"
"Oh Ichi, hello sweetheart, how's school?" she asked cheerily.
"Over. Do you remember the Thief?" I asked her. Silence met me on the other end of the line and I knew she'd gotten the message.
"I do… are you sure that he was there?"
"He was alerted…"
"Of course… well sweetheart, I'll have to call you back later, Mila's been crying for a few minutes now and she probably needs a change," she said, an attempt to remain cheery obvious in her voice.
"Alright mom, make sure you call," I replied with a sigh as the call ended with a resolute beep. I had to close my eyes, feeling disappointment well up from the pits of my stomach as I closed the device and nearly threw it across the room.
"What's wrong darling?" Lisa's voice asked me, and I realized that she'd returned with exactly the ingredients Grim had inferred. She placed them all on the bedside table before nearly tossing her son out of the way and hugging me tightly.
"This is not your fault," she told me firmly as I let myself sink into the warmth of her embrace. My arms wrapped around her and I buried myself as I felt warmth seep from my eyes and run down my cheeks. I'd never truly had something like this… I'd never had this kind of love. My mother taught me to be strong, to never show weakness. My foster mother had only held respect and acceptance for me. Now Grim's mother was here holding me, teaching me that love was more than a feeling. It was real, and it was there for those who asked.
"If I'd remained in control this wouldn't be happening… no one would be in danger," I sobbed softly. She ran her hand in soothing circles over my back, warming it pleasantly to the touch.
"Except for you? Sounds to me like you've been in danger your whole life. Why don't you hand the burden over to us for a little while, huh? You deserve a break," she told me gently as the hand that wasn't soothing my back ran delicate fingers through my hair.
I wanted to accept that offer… oh god how I did, but letting this wonderful family take such a huge burden and shoulder it themselves? I could never do that, it was my burden to bare, not theirs, and that's how it should be.
"I couldn't possibly do that to you. Your family could be killed because of me and I could never stomach the guilt if that were to happen. Please, I beg of you, don't try to relieve something so heavy by yourselves," I whispered to her softly. Grim was getting irritated now, not being able to hear what I was telling her from his position where he'd sat up on the ground.
"Sweetheart I'm not an idiot," she chuckled, surprising me thoroughly, "There are many out there who would join a cause to bring back equality and peace to this world. I know most of them, although I'm sure that there are more. No one likes war, and even those who don't necessarily like your kind are getting tired of all the fighting. I'm not alone, and neither is your Grim. We'll get through all this together."
What the hell? I pushed away from her a little bit to look into her eyes. From what I could see there was only honestly there, but how could there be a resistance forming already and I didn't know about it? I know I had hidden my hybridism well… but other hybrids should have been able to see through me easily. Shouldn't I have been contacted?
"Don't be confused, we have very few hybrids amongst us seeing as we are a merely politicians, but we're searching for them as discreetly as we can. Perhaps you could call them out for us?" she asked me excitedly. I shook my head.
"I'm afraid I would be of no use to you Mrs. Ja—"
"Oh honey just call me Lisa or Momma J, that's what Grimmy and his friends do," she said with a sympathetic smile. I let the corners of my mouth turn upwards slightly in acceptance as she leaned over and grabbed the pill bottle she'd brought in.
"Take two of those with your orange juice, then down a water bottle. You should feel better in no time darling. When you're feeling well enough come on down to the kitchen and we can warm you up some leftovers from breakfast," she told me, patting my leg in reassurance before standing and exiting the room. Grim watched her go with slight irritation.
"You gonna be alright?" he asked me as he crawled back onto the bed.
"I sure hope so," I said, my tone lightening somewhat.
"Yeah, me too," he said, his smile concerned, "And your family?"
"They're not my real family, but they're the second closest I had ever had. My parents gave me to them for safe-keeping, but now they need to go into hiding. I told my foster mom, no doubt they'll be leaving soon."
"Will they be safe where they're going?" he inquired.
"Yeah. Even I don't know the location, but it's supposed to be untouchable."
"Good… can't have you stressing over that while the lawyer's here. We're going to need a solid story for him to use," Grim told me as he handed me the glass of orange juice to swallow down the pills in my hand.
"I have to talk to him?" I nearly whimpered before trying to distract myself by swallowing the painkillers.
"Well yeah, he'll need your side of the story as well so he can fabricate something," he said as he took a swig out of one of the water bottles.
"I wish none of this had every happened…" I sighed. Grim stuck me with a fed-up glare as he turned on me, throwing his hands in the air.
"I swear you're like some emo chick Ichi!"