Proctive
Or Why do Death Eater Potions Professor's Hate Christmas?
All of Hogwarts was rejoicing;
Christmas holidays fast were approaching
The Ravens and Lions in there towers
Gave into the cheery holiday powers.
The Badgers made sure no friend was slacking
Even the Snakey excitement was not lacking.
All the children were excited they liked Christmas a lot,
But Severus down in his dungeon did not.
That Grinch hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be the fumes had affected his mind
It could be he hated all of mankind
But I think that the most likely reason of all
was just that mean Dark Lord's call.
It was Christmas eve and he cared not a jot
He would as soon boil them all in a pot
"Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his stained fingers nervously drumming,
His mind was so agitated it was practically humming
For, tomorrow, he knew...
...All the devil girls and boys
Would wake up bright and early. They'd rush for their toys!
Each one would open their gifts with trumpets & cards that explode
They'd eat so much junk they just about implode
But for him there was no joy to be had
He was stuck serving a dark and dangerous cad
Severus thought, "I must stop this whole thing!
"Why for fifteen years I've put up with it now!
I'll take them all to Dark Lord" he said cackling
"we'll teach all those Gryffindor's how to Bow
If I can't get out of it neither will they
I'll present them to him come what may."
The potions master was cracking quite swift
He wanted to end it all with a bang if you get my drift
He made to exit his den when he stumbled on a gift
Addressed to him, from a student his spirits to uplift?
"Professor Snape, This season is jolly
Not meant to be melancholy
I got you this to help your faces pockmark
It said it would also remove a Dark Mark
Try this during our season so festive
A new potion called proactive."
For a moment he was as still a mouse
Debating should his arm he douse
But who in these halls his dilemma had known
Had he told anyone his tale of woe
"I'll just examine it quick, Make sure I won't sick
Maybe this is a joke from Sirius that prick"
He thought and he thought
Should he just try what he'd got
He would give it a go, he'll try just a drop
Just one drip it dropped right on his arm with a plop
That great python and bloody skull was gone.
His soul felt so light and so free
He want to sing "It's great to be me."
He decided that Christmas it can't be that bad
Maybe before, he might have been mad
He decided to give in to holiday cheer
And he even wished people a good year.