"What will become of him, now that Shikaku is gone? How did his death and subsequent reanimation affect him?" I thought, thinking of my stoic, red-headed brother, my brows furrowed, my hand slowly twisting a piece of hair that had gotten loose from my pigtails. "And what about Kankuro? He is truly alright now, isn't he? I can't take him coming so close to death again, no matter what kind of pain in my ass he can be. What about the village? Things are too calm. Just the way it always is in the desert before a monstrous storms crashes down. They haven't given up. I know they'll be back. Maybe I should be home. There's go to be something I can do. Some preparation to be made. I should be out training. I should be out training my squad. What am I doing here? What can I hope to accomplish just sitting around? I need to be helping!"
My heart was beating fast as my mind zipped along at a hyperactive speed, but my eyes were zoned in on a candle that flickered in my apartment. I couldn't break my stare, but it was nice to have a stable object to focus on while my mind flew from this thought to another, and my heart quickly magnified whatever issue I focused on with a rash of unnecessary emotion.
Finally, I broke my stare and stood to my feet. I was lonely … again. I didn't want to be alone. I didn't really want to see anyone either, at least not here. I wouldn't mind being home with my brothers, who were my closest friends. I didn't make friends easily. I knew it was because of my difficult and intimidating personality, and I didn't know whether to be proud of that or saddened by it. A certain someone flitted across my mind, easing my heart of anxiety, and I knew deep down that, were I to seek him out and talk to him, I probably would find the peace I was looking for. But I wouldn't. I couldn't bring myself to show such nonsensical weakness. I decided to go out for a drink.
Sometimes it was nice to be alone around people who weren't talking to you … always enough activity to block you from focusing on any one thing in particular.
I slipped my feet into my sandals and headed out the door of my apartment, running away from the thoughts nagging my mind.
I found my way to a small, local bar and slipped in. Since no one knew me, I felt safe and comforted by the fact that I wouldn't be forced to make small talk. There definitely were some ninjas in the village that I liked and wouldn't mind seeing. But I doubted they would be in the bar, and I wasn't sure I wanted to visit right now anyway.
I settled into a chair, ordered some sake and hummed in content as I heard soft noises from intimate conversations swirling around me. The noise was soothing, although the occasional outbursts from the extremely inebriated irked me a little.
I sipped a little of the warm drink and let myself enjoy the slight burning sensation as it traveled down my throat. I took another sip.
"I didn't think of you as much of a drinker, Temari."
Startled, I jumped, nearly falling from my chair. There it was again. A hand, reaching out to protect me, although this time he'd placed it on the small of my back.
"You know, Temari," Shikamaru said jokingly, as he sat down next to me, "this is the most scatterbrained I've ever seen you. So much for the unflappable kunoichi terror from the Hidden Sand Village."
I stared at him, feeling a little shocked and appalled, "No one calls me that, do they?"
"Only a few," He winked. "I'm not scared of you … not really. But you'll always be the most annoying woman I know."
His voice was tender, but his words, as always, made the heat flame up from within and my competitive nature had me already poised to challenge him.
"Well, you'll always be the most lazy, uninspired, worthless shinobi ever," I knew I had probably gone a little too far with the last insult, but he just smirked, unimpressed with my effort at a comeback. "Weren't you last in your class at the academy?"
He nodded, seeming a bit amused that I knew that, but then said, "That was quite a few years ago, though. Things have changed."
He was certainly right about that, I mused as he ordered something to drink. I knew he was more dedicated to his training than he was at that time. He had definitely stepped up as a leader in his community. He certainly wasn't as tall back in his academy days. In fact, when I had taken him on in the chunin exams, he had been about my height, but time had shot him to at least a few inches above me, and that wasn't including his hair. And I was sure that his arms weren't quite so muscular and deliciously touchable back then, or his lips so appealing. In that instant, I wanted nothing more than to pull him toward me and –
"That's the liquor talking, Temari," I warned myself. "Stop it."
He voice, deep and low, broke through my thoughts. "You remember what you told me when you left the village last time?"
I thought back to our conversation a few months ago, where I had chided him on his pessimistic attitude and his lack of effort, which I believed were preventing him from becoming a jonin.
"Yeah," I answered, watching his face, waiting to see where he was going with this.
"That," he said, looking up at me with a sly smile, "is why people call you a terror."
My face flushed and I playfully punched his arm. "You're an idiot."
"No, but seriously," he said, his laughter subsiding, "I wanted to say thanks. I've been trying. I mean, being a shinobi and preparing to lead these chunin exams are still a bit of a drag" – he shot me that ever-intelligent smirk – "but I appreciate what you said, and I have been trying to step up. Who knows? Maybe I'll be a jonin like you some day. When I'm old like you, that is."
My mind caught the last tidbit of what he said and held fast, and I snorted, "Old? Did you just call me old? You're a dick, Nara."
He pinched my side playfully, which tickled a little and caused me to smile, "I didn't mean to offend you, Temari. After all …" he paused, "I like older women."
With that, he looked into my eyes, a little too directly and a little too seriously, although a smile was still playing with his lips.
"What do you know about older women?" I shot back, although I realized with amazement that my voice sounded more flirty than angry. "You're just a kid. I don't think you know anything about women at all."
"What was that?" I asked myself, taking a sip of my drink, although probably the last thing I needed was more alcohol in my system. "Are you challenging him? You know he'll eat that up. Besides, this isn't like you. You're acting like such a girl."
I felt his hand on my thigh, sliding from the junction of my waist and legs and moving its way down to my exposed knees.
"Is that right, Temari?" He mocked.
It was the first time he ever had touched me so intimately, and it made my head foggy, my skin get prickly with goose bumps and a very tingly feeling hit me right between the thighs. Unsure if he was joking or serious, I tried to remain calm, took a sip of my drink and turned my head to look at him with unwavering and unimpressed eyes. I hoped it would be a good enough front to keep him on his toes until I could figure out what was going on, and just where I hoped it would go.
His eyes were definitely bright with mockery and his normal hint of nonchalance, but there was also something else there. A look I hadn't seen, or at least had never noticed.
I was angry that I couldn't figure him out, and contemplated brandishing my fan just to relieve that frustration. I could definitely use his wandering hand as an excuse, although his crime hadn't been all too egregious.
He turned back to his drink. "You and your stupid game, Nara," I spat at him in my head. I instead decided to let out what I hoped was a mocking laugh.
"You're such a child, Shikamaru. And haven't proved anything to me. You ought to just go back to your lazy cloud-watching. That's at least one thing you're good at."
"You are such a pain, Temari," he said. "Everything I do is lazy, huh? There you go again, riding my ass. Troublesome woman."
He had said it again, and I began to think this probably was going to become his nickname for me. At least I had successfully changed the nature of conversation and put it back into more familiar territory … which, for some reason, although making me feel more comfortable, also made me a little disappointed that it hadn't gone further. Always the self-oppressor, I pushed that disappointment away and went back to enjoying the rest of the conversation with my friend, as the minutes on a clock above the counter ticked away.
It was well past midnight when, slightly tipsy and not at all exhausted, I stood up to leave. Shikamaru followed suit slowly.
"I'm tired," I lied. "I'm going to head back to my apartment. Thanks for the talk, Shikamaru."
"Hn. Alright," he said, his lazy eyes looking out into the blackness. "I think I had better walk you back, though. Responsibility and all that. Besides, someone like you would find a way to get into trouble."
"Excuse me?" I spun around, angry at his insinuation. "I don't need you to protect me. I'm the desert terror, remember? I am quite capable of taking care of myself without the help of a chauvinist."
"Oh, calm down, Temari," He laughed, pulling my hand and leading me out into the vibrant night air. "You're just more trouble when you get all riled up like that. And I have never had to deal with you drunk before."
"I'm not drunk," I said, being completely honest. I felt a little lightheaded and was enjoying the pressure of his hand on my wrist a little too much, but I definitely wasn't drunk.
The sweet coolness that swept my face as we traveled down the road to my apartment had my nerves tingling. I wasn't quite ready to go to bed, but I figured I would find a way to work off some of my energy alone. It wasn't that I wasn't enjoying having Shikamaru around. I certainly was, and he had successfully managed to make me feel that unique sense of peace, but I was a little worried about what I might do if he stuck around much longer. I didn't feel entirely in control of myself when he was around. "Maybe you are drunk," I questioned myself, but my calculating mind proved otherwise.
With us both standing before my door, I struggled to find my keyhole in the inky veil night cast over everything. I was in a hurry to unlock my door so I might escape back into my familiar solitude. At last, pushing the door open, I found myself in the foyer, the light from my candle flickering mischievously. I turned around, prepared for a quick goodbye so I wouldn't have to breathe in his intoxicating scent anymore or feel the comforting warmth of his body next to mine.
"Well, Shikamaru, thanks again for - "
My words were cut short as he moved in close. I took a step back, only find myself pinned between the wall and his body, which was parallel to mine and only a few inches away. His arms stretched out on either side of me so he could lean against the wall behind me for support. My breath was caught in my throat and all thoughts were dashed from my head, only to be replaced with a blank sheet of anticipation. "What is going on? And why am I feeling like this? And what will he do next?"
"Not so fast, Temari," he said, shocking me with his sudden boldness. It wasn't that I thought of him as shy or anything, but he didn't often take control of situations, especially not ones such as this. Although, what did I know? I'd never been in this situation with him before.
"You challenged me earlier, claiming I didn't know anything about woman."
His face was so close to mine, the heat permeating from his body filled the narrow space between us, and I felt almost giddy as it engulfed me. "Shit, shit shit…" I thought. "What am I supposed to do? And why is he so freaking sexy?"
I tried to remain calm and brush this all off like a joke. "Oh, come on, Shikamaru. I've never known you to be so competitive. This is like the exams all over again. You'll quit because you know you can't win. Besides, you know I didn't even challenge you. I just made a statement, that's all."
My breath caught in my throat again. "Damn it, why does that keep happening?"
His face was coming toward me, slowly, his piercing eyes never breaking from my dark teal ones. Instead of brushing my lips with a kiss, as I had … feared? Wanted? … he put his mouth next to my ear, his warm breath sending more tingles to my nether regions. I thought that maybe we had both just had a little too much drink and were now unwisely letting our guards down. But I couldn't deny how irresistible his lips were, how intoxicating he smelled and how curious I was just how he would look when he was completely naked.
"Oh, Temari," he drawled, his voice as nonchalant as ever. "I know you think you know me so well … but tonight, I think I might show you a new side." He paused, and my suspense built, waiting, my heart beating fast, blood pulsing in my ears. "I'm going to rock your world," he whispered.