The flight back to Cardiff had NG wearier than normal because of lack of sleep for days. The stress of returning home also had him tense and that wasn't his normal state. He really didn't want to go home. The reasons for coming home were just too painful and he ignored his phone long enough to not get the message and miss the funeral.
He didn't even tell any of them he was coming home. He just didn't want to hear his parent's disappointment on the phone that he didn't make it when Ianto first called him. Once again he didn't want to face up to the responsibilities of being an adult. It was best to suffer them in person; it made a body feel that much smaller for being a selfish prick.
He did have a message from Jolein on the astral web as they called it since they were kids. Though he could never really "travel" very well by himself, his sister was strong enough to support the both of them. He made it brief, he did after all have company and his company was lying naked beside him, being very much a distraction from the astral conversation. Jolein, being pissed off from being asked to leave angrily told him that Uncle Ianto had passed after a recurrence of the virus the 456 left behind. He had lapsed in his bed with Uncle Jack by his side. She scolded him in her grief for not picking up his phone and left him on a sour note. She later cried feeling bad for being a bitch to NG. He wasn't at fault; any telepathic experience hurt him and he was never strong at it. She could sense the turmoil in him over the loss of his favorite Uncle and how he like always was not dealing with it.
It wasn't that Bo was the real excuse for ending the conversation, or that Jolein's intrusion into his mind hurt him. It was that NG already knew that Uncle Ianto was gone.
He blocked Jolein, having learned to do that much from his Papa, turning her away while he cried in Bo's arms. His lover had no idea why, just held NG until he fell asleep. Bo never asked anything about NG's life; he just assumed it was too painful to go into by the way the younger man reacted after being asked questions about his past. NG just shut down. So Bo, being the understanding type, just let it go and would treat NG to some smoked salmon; it was something they both liked and could have fun with it in other ways besides at the table.
Bo was very Norwegian. He was blond all over with piercing ice blue eyes. He was taller than NG and the pair were very different almost opposites in appearance. NG had his Papa's wavy brown hair; his nose was small and roundish and he had his cheeks a little higher than his Papa's. From his Dad he got thin soft lips, a hazel eye color and a very beautiful neck. He was long and muscular with the slight build of an athlete but more defined than over exaggerated.
Overall, he was the perfect mix of his parents and at one point a modeling agent asked him to do some shoots. NG wanted nothing to do with it. He wanted to study ancient cultures and religions based mainly in languages. So he went to school and when he could went on a dig in Australia after they had found what might actually be the earliest visitation from an Alien race. At his going away party 5 years ago, the Doctor had told him it was rubbish. NG smiled and said, "I know that, but I just want to go and be away from all of them a bit. You understand, don't you? I need to explore, find things out for myself."
The Doctor smiled and nodded. "If I wasn't afraid of what your Uncle Jack might say, I would ask you to come with me. But maybe someday when you come home." He paused for a moment, running his hands through his red hair. "I would truly love to have you as a companion." He held out his hand and NG took it warmly.
"I would change the term 'companion' though, it makes one sound like a pet." He smiled at the Time Lord who nodded.
"In a way that is precisely what they are to me, pets plus maybe would be more accurate. I don't have to house break them!" He laughed as Jack rounded the corner. "Well not all of them. Your Uncle Jack was a different case all together."
"Hey, I picked up after myself! It was Rose that didn't clean the hair out of the sink!" They laughed together as they fell into stories of old times. They didn't notice as NG left his own party and headed out into the night and the nearest bar for some more physical contact.
He left Bo and didn't even say goodbye to the man he had been with for four years. Bo was beginning to want more than NG could give. He knew that one-day he would have to return home and that it would be impossible to bring Bo with him. He would have to tell the man the whole truth instead of the lie he wove for him. That didn't sit well with him, he didn't want this relationship to become part of the Torchwood Family, and so as soon as he could emotionally he left his nest and flew home to Cardiff, his spawning ground.
So now he stood with a knapsack on his back, looking at the front door of his parent's house. The lights were on and by the sound of it the place was alive with music, lots of people's voices and laughter. Strange, he thought that they wouldn't be having a party with Ianto gone.
NG had no idea what to do with himself. He was looking at the doorknob and wondering if he should just go in or whether he should ring the bell. It dawned on him that it just didn't feel like home any more. He closed his eyes, shoulders back straight. He breathed in as he reached for the knob.
"I don't think they are going to bite you NG, just go in." Jack spoke from behind him.
NG stood still for an instant before he turned to face his Uncle. What he found in Jack surprised him.
Jack seemed worn out around the eyes but he had a smile on his face. NG had expected Jack to be more disheveled and not so neatly dressed, Greatcoat ever present. If NG were a stranger, he never would have guessed that this man had just lost his husband of almost 29 years.
Before he knew it, his knapsack was on the ground with a thud and he had his arms wrapped around his Uncle.
"I'm so sorry I didn't make it home. I just couldn't, I just…" He began to cry as he felt Jack's body heat and heard his heart beating inside his immortal chest.
"Hey," Jack smoothed back NG's hair as he softly spoke to him. "It's okay, I understand; you two were really close. He told me to tell you he loved you very much." Jack pulled back from NG's hysterical sobs and cupped his face. NG focused on his Uncle's eyes, so blue and ancient, like the artifacts he loved to study. "Now I promised him we would not cry, so let's wipe your tears and go see your parents and the rest of the family. Just about everyone is here, that is except for Anna. She is breaking in our newest member, Becca. I think you will like her, she is very pretty!" He smiled, using his thumb to wipe away his youngest godson's tears.
The feeling of Jack's flesh on his dampened face was the beginning of trouble for NG as something awoke in him with just that small tender touch.
"You should have called," Mark chided his youngest as he handed him some of the leftover ham and mashed potatoes from dinner. The rest of the group, and Jack wasn't kidding that everyone was here, after they asked him a billion questions were back to laughing and joking over DVD's of certain events they had all attended that Ianto planned for them to watch. These parties were what made them more than just people that worked together. In Ianto's special magical way, he had made sure they were all family.
NG understood this, but what would happen now that Ianto was gone? He brushed the thought in Jack's direction while making sure his Papa wasn't scanning him.
"You've gotten better at that," Mark commented, smiling at finding that his son had put up barriers to keep him out. It was a worried smile that said he was imagining what his youngest was trying to hide from him. "Now, your Dad made the apple pie and you better eat it. He has been checking the garbage to see if we have been throwing out the food he makes. Jolein was able to toss some pineapple upside down cake out the window when his back was turned. I had to leave the room for over a week to stop from laughing around him. He never knew." He messed up his son's hair as he looked at him.
"I'm not that thin Papa, and I have been eating." He went ahead and answered the questions he was sure his Papa was probing him to find out. "Yes, I was with someone and I left him because it just wasn't meant to be. I won't tell you why I haven't been coming home more, or why I just didn't answer the phone calls. That, I'm not ready for." He went back to the pie and wrinkled his nose, frowning at the taste. "Is there any ice cream to put on this or some brandy to wash it down? You should just tell him that he can't cook. This is an abomination."
Mark giggled slightly knowing that NG was very good at cutting to the chase when it came to the parental third degree.
"Yeah well, it isn't that simple. Jack put him on part time work now; you know how Torchwood is everything to your Dad. He needs to feel like he can still do something. Nick is working on a way to get him to admit in his sessions that he really is that bad with anything when it comes to making food. So if you want to be a killjoy and undermine the therapy, then be my guest."
"Papa…" NG began when Mark turned around to wash the dishes in the sink.
"When you're ready, Sweetheart, you don't have to say a word now. When you're ready, you can tell me why you didn't want to come back home. But now that you are here, let's just be a family." Mark looked over his shoulder and smiled his love at his son. With a look of determination, NG smiled and ate the apple pie abomination.
Sometime in the night, NG woke with a start. It was the same dream he had had since he could remember. There was tunnel with a bright light. His body was weak by the time he got to the end. Before him was the Universe in its glorious power; alight with trillions of stars, explosions and dark places all around him. He was at the center trying to get back home. What had started as panic within fear turned into joy as he became more comfortable within his new place in the Universe. But all that fell away as he began to fall down into the deep blackness of a hole that called out his name.
Sweat covered and breathing heavily he awoke, bolting upright, the tears falling down in fear. He hated the dream and lately it came more frequently. He missed Bo then; at least Bo could hold him, brush his hair and lovingly tell him that it was just a dream, that nothing would hurt him.
Without a thought he reached for his cell and went to press Bo's number. He didn't, returning it to the nightstand with much regret. He decided he needed a stiff drink instead. A big one would chase the feelings of dread away for another night. But it was only a temporary fix. Nothing made them vanish away altogether.
He just had his shorts on. Shirtless, he went to the kitchen for a glass of water first. He left almost everything he had at Bo's place in Australia. He didn't need all that stuff anymore. It really didn't matter; they were mainly things that were the both of theirs so he decided Bo should keep them. So he just took a few changes of clothes and some personal things and left. What Bo must be going through, NG was convinced that by a lack of a phone call that Bo was very angry. NG was also hurt, it didn't matter really; it was over anyway.
As he passed by the couch in the living room, he didn't see Jack sitting there in the dark. When he returned to raid the liquor cabinet, Jack spoke. "Whatever you're having, pour two glasses."
NG jumped. "I didn't see you. You gave me a start! Why are you sitting in the dark?"
"I was thinking and I didn't need the light on for that. Besides, then I would have to look at things. I don't want to look at things." Jack's voice seemed old, almost alien to what NG knew about his uncle. Jack was always smiles unless he was mad, and then he was a force to be reckoned with. NG was often on the wrong side of that with Jack, having caused trouble at the wrong moments with his Uncle. But Jack would throw things, growl his frustration, but never would he hurt his godson, and never did Jack take his wrath out physically on any one of them.
This man seemed lost, almost lonely. He was grieving; that was something NG never saw in Jack before. Ianto was gone, Jack was now alone and NG was, as normal with him, confused as to what to feel.
He sat down next to Jack with two large glasses of scotch. Jack eyes went wide at the young man as he downed half of it. "Do you want to talk about it?" Jack asked.
"Do you?" NG countered.
"No. Not really." He lifted the glass in a salute and chugged it down to the last drop. Getting up, he went to get the bottle, taking a big hit off of it before sitting back down. "Do we really need the glasses?" Jack smiled; handing the bottle to NG after his glass was empty.
"No, they take away from the actual drinking time. If you calculate the amount of time it takes to pour the glass and then drink it, you miss out on many more minutes earlier that you could be drunk." He took a deep swig and handed back the bottle.
"Interesting that you put time into that thought. I guess you do this a lot?"
NG smiled at Jack before answering. "Used to but I find that thinking also takes away from drinking time!" He almost forgot that they weren't alone in the house, so he brought his laugh down a notch.
Jack's face lit the dark room as he smiled. He held onto the bottle a bit and watched his godson. NG was truly a unique thing. But what was odd was how this young man alienated himself from the ones that loved him. Jack was curious as to what they had done that pushed him away having thought they remedied the events in Paris by fawning over the kid. He was no less loved than his siblings or any of the other children that were part of the Torchwood family. Jack noticed how sad NG was and it bothered him. Somehow, this young man was tugging him in a direction. It was odd that Ianto was barely cold and yet Jack found himself longing again. For what with the young man next to him, he didn't know. That was yet to be seen. But something was there. That much he was aware of.
NG noticed how strong Jack's smell became as they sat there talking about absolutely nothing. Despite both having dark moods, somehow they managed to make the other laugh, that and the scotch saturating their blood. It was a pleasant feeling to not have to justify why you were doing something; it was simply just the way it was.
NG suddenly found his eyes looking at Jack's lips and he knew if he didn't stand to go he would do more than just talk with Jack. He couldn't think about that. Ianto was still gone, but it was too soon for him to want his Uncle. And that was another thing, though not a blood relation, this man used to change his diapers, more or less. This man, Captain Jack Harkness was a legend bigger than life. How do you sleep with something like that? Plus, NG was just a child to someone like Jack. Not really much to base a relationship on. But then again, most relationships started with a physical attraction.
"I should go and try to sleep." He rose, handing the bottle back to Jack. Jack held the bottle and sought out NG's eyes. The bottle didn't hold back the desire that was racing through both men. The room grew quiet, except NG was sure his racing heartbeat could be heard.
And then it happened. Jack tugged on the bottle and NG fell into Jack's lap. NG caught his breath, as he was inches way from Jack's pink lips. They looked so sweet, just pursed slightly like they wanted to say something. A hand went to run through his hair as he did the same to Jack. It seemed like it was the longest moment before their lips met. Tongues came into battle as they each pulled the other closer. NG moaned as he felt his body give into the demands of Jack's. He was lost, out of control as Jack took charge.
"We should take this to my room. It isn't right here." It isn't right by any means, NG thought to himself after Jack and he were rolling around on the bed; NG just in his boxer shorts and Jack still dressed.
Jack broke the magic by bolting out of the bed and without a word left the young man alone and very excited.
NG understood, and was glad that Jack broke it off without too much talk about it. He knew if they both stopped to talk about why they shouldn't, they would have ended up making love. So with a heavy heart and a sigh to the nothing that was his life, NG finally slept.
End Chapter one
TBC