CHAPTER TWO – Him

I was 8 when I fell deeply, hopelessly, and idiotically in love with Sasuke. Totally. I knew I said this already, but that time, I realized I could fall even deeper for him.

But I didn't count having a broken heart, too.

Sasuke, as an Uchiha main family member, it was expected he was to be betrothed, but I actually didn't THINK, he would have one in this age of his. I knew I should have known better than to hope I had a chance with him. Seriously, I was only from a civilian family in this world, and he's from a ninja clan. But, damn, it still hurts like a bitch. At that time, me and Ino have also rekindled our relationship, as I did too, with Karin.

"Hey, Sasuke. Do you wanna… umm… train together? Perhaps?" I meekly asked the scowling ravenette who was looking as if someone had just ruined the tomato plantation to oblivion in Konoha. His scowl lightened up upon hearing me, but that did not appease his anger, presumably.

"O-Oh, gomen, Sak, but I… I have to get back early at home," he answered. A man in an ANBU suit then made his way to us, his ANBU mask hanging on his hip. It was Itachi Uchiha, his elder brother, the Uchiha Prodigy who became an ANBU captain at the age of thirteen.

"Otouto, let's go, the Lady Hozuki is already waiting for you at the compound," he spoke monotonously at Sasuke, who nodded glumly. Who was Lady Hozuki? I figured I would just ask Sasuke when we would be alone.

"See you, Sak," he bade me goodbye. And I watched as his figure disappeared.

Turns out this Lady Hozuki was Sasuke's betrothed. She was the third born of the main family of the Hozuki clan, who I read, had an ability to turn their body to water.

After that, we've been having less and less time together, and it reduced to "once in a blue moon". Sasuke and I still talk, but seldom.

Then came the day I loathed. The day I hated ever since the beginning of my existence. I thought that this Lady Hozuki was weak, all talk, and just a spoiled stuck-up brat who knew nothing of ninjas. But she proved me wrong. She literally made me eat dust, she was so strong.

'Idiot! Of course she would win! She's strong. She's from a ninja clan, of course she would study being a ninja. I'd bet my life she started studying as soon as she had her own mind!' scolded Inner, while I was sulking in embarrassment for making such a foolish and rash decision to challenge her.

Truly, love makes you do actions that are deemed stupid.

But you know what hurt the most? The fact that the boy you love was also in love with someone. And that someone wasn't you. Inner can see it. I can see it. Hell, everyone can see it. As time progressed, everyone could see how different the gaze Sasuke was giving to Kaoru – the name of Lady Hozuki – it was the gaze of longing, filled with love. I don't blame him, though. Kaoru was beautiful, even with the scar stretched from her ankles to the middle of her legs and the other scars that she had possibly obtained in her other fights.

Though she was young, her prowess with weapons was outstanding. It was as if, the weapons were one with her. It was as if they were made from her very essence. Kunai, shuriken, katana, you name it.

Furthermore, her prowess in medical jutsu was more than outstanding, just as expected of an apprentice of Senju Tsunade herself, who was the world's most renowned medic and most powerful kunoichi.

I admit I was jealous. I was so jealous that I spent half my time plotting murder of her in my head. But some time later, I learned nothing would change. Sasuke loves her, Kaoru loves Sasuke, and I love Sasuke. And because I love him, I should be willing to let him go. Which I did.

"Sasuke-kun, can I ask you something?" I asked during lunchtime, when he went out of the room to eat his lunch on the rooftop. He looked puzzled but nonetheless, nodded.

"Sure, what is it?" he answered.

I took a deep breath before asking the one question that might change my life forever. "What is… Lady Kaoru to you? Do you feel something for her?" I nervously asked, my hands fidgeting on my back. He looked embarrassed for a moment, and looked away, and I swore I could see a small blush dusting his cheeks.

My heart felt like it was squeezed until nothing else was left. It hurt so much.

"Come on Sak, you don't need to be jealous-" but I interrupted him before he could finish. Something I never did before.

"Please, Sasuke. I can't keep living thinking that somehow, one day, you would be able to reciprocate my feelings for you. I don't want to think foolishly that I might have a chance to be with you," I looked at him in the eye. "So please Sasuke, help me move on. Help me, by telling the truth."

Sasuke looked away, and that was when I confirmed that what he was going to say will hurt me.

"Fine. I… I love her. So much. I don't know why even though… though we always fight for the littlest things. I just don't know why. If it was for her personality or her looks. Both are a valid reason," I resisted the urge to let a tear fall from my eyes. Sasuke looked at me, in worry. But I managed to crack out a, "Go on."

"And… And she always gives me the feeling of having butterflies in my stomach whenever we touch. And it's just… weird, you know. But the good weird," he sighed, and I could see he was in bliss, probably thinking about her. "I don't know, but she was the only one who understood me better next to my mom, and I… I'm grateful for that."

Resisting the urge to break down, my face twisted into a smile. "Thanks Sasuke."

"For what, Sakura? I… I just broke your heart."

"For everything."

Four months after, there was a pretty kunoichi tourist whom I had met when I was buying a new stash of weapons. She wasn't pretty, actually – let me correct myself – she was beautiful, no, gorgeous, was the right word. She had long blue hair that had a part of it tied into a bun in the right, an origami rose tucked securely on it. Her eyes were a stunning shade of amber's, and had on a blue eyeshadow.

I didn't know why, but the moment I saw her, there was this strange feeling in my gut that screamed at me that I knew her. But I didn't. In fact, I have never seen this woman ever in my life.

"Ooff!" I grunted in pain as soon as I collided with a much larger frame than mine. I looked up to see a woman holding her hand out to me. Without any hesitation, I pulled her hand and pulled myself up.

"Gomenasai, little girl-chan," the blue-haired lady apologized. But I didn't reply. I was lost in her beauty. How can someone look so much like an angel?

"A-Ahh, u-umm… it's okay. Miss…" I wanted to facepalm badly of my lame introduction.

"Konan… call me Konan," she introduced. "And your name is?"

"Sa-Sakura," I answered, still dumbstruck as I watched her pretty face. A part of her skin then peeled away from her skin, and that was when I noticed it became paper, so me being me, I watched as she made little gestures which shaped the paper into a perfect origami rose. After it was done, she held the rose out to me, smiling lightly.

"Huh?"

"Take it. A pretty name for a pretty little girl," I blushed red to my ears in embarrassment, and accepted the rose shyly, and she bade me goodbye and walked out of the shop.

'Perhaps when I had my first life, I knew her? Or in Seiretei?' I couldn't help but wonder this every time I thought about her. I shook my head to clear my thoughts. Even if we DID know each other from our past lives, she wouldn't remember me.

I was excited. One, because my other parents were coming to visit me. And two, because they said they would start training me with my sword… thing. What was that again? Zanpa-? I couldn't remember anything after that.

Inner sighed in exasperation. 'Zampakuto, kiddo. Zampakuto.'

I giggled, embarrassed at my mistake. 'Heh, sorry.'

I was to meet them outside the village, as they said it would be really weird if I went training with advanced moves and no one saw who taught me. They said it would be really suspicious and someone might suspect me as a spy and a traitor. I smiled lightly. Well, at least I have a family now. A family that loves me.

Getting out of Konoha was what you could say an easy task. The guards, Kotetsu and Izumo were both lazy and would always doze off while guarding the gates. I was surprised they weren't sacked from the job.

I silently made my way to the forest, feeling giddy about the fact that I found out when Jushiro, the man's name, who was also my father, met for the second time. The reason why I had so little chakra was because I had reiatsu inside me, to possibly balance the two energies. My father's name was Jushiro Ukitake, while my mother's was Retsu Unohana.

I didn't find out that they were Shinigami's at first, but after someone came in from the Senkaimon and saw me, I was confused why they had such worried looks and kept glancing at me from time to time. It was then that they told me that they were Death Gods. I deadpanned at first, saying that if they really were, then why am I in this world? But soon, they decided to show me Seiretei, the Spirit Realm. The others, at first were really wary about someone alive inside the realm, but after I promised that I'd take the secret to my grave and too-much-to-be-counted stink eyes given to me, they finally gave in and told my parents they were free to see me as long as it was right on their schedule. But since they weren't really comfortable about a living coming and going inside the realm as she pleases, they restricted me from opening any Senkaimon – as if I can though. I don't know how they work those things.

About Inner, I found out he wasn't really a subconscious created from my sadness. He was what us Shinigami's call, a zanpakuto. My parents didn't know I had a zanpakuto at first, but after I kind of snapped at yelled at Inner to shut up, they asked me what was wrong. I was embarrassed then, then told them I talk to myself, so I was confused as to why they smiled and seemed so happy yet worried at the same time. I asked them why, and when they said an answer, I almost fainted.

"You're a Shinigami, Sakura. The one you call 'Inner' is a proof. You have what we call, a zanpakuto."

'They're still not here yet,' I sighed and sat beside a tree. 'So, what should I call you other than 'Inner'? I'm sure you have a real name, right?'

Inner snorted. 'Drop it. I'm not telling you my name. You're the one who have to guess it, right?' he drawled, making me pout in annoyance. In order to gain control of your own Zanpakuto, you must first learn their names. I thought it was gonna be easy, but… that was until I learned that I was the one who should be guessing it. It was easier said than done.

I sighed again. It was impossible to try and trick Inner. He was too clever.

'Good to know that you know.'

"Uruse!" and walked casually, ignoring the strange looks given by Aoba-sensei and my other present classmates as if I didn't say anything.

::

I was nine when things began fucking up badly. I never really understood what was happening, except that Mom was getting admitted to the hospital really often and that we moved to a dingy crap of a sorry-of-an-excuse apartment in the Red Light District which, was surprisingly clean, unlike the imaginations that I had in my head.

Luckily, going into the academy was free – that was simply because once you graduate, you'd repay the village by your life – and I continued my studies. I moved on slightly from Sasuke already, and we agreed to stay as friends. I mended my relationship with Karin and Ino, and I couldn't be any happier – except for the fact that Mom was diagnosed with LSS; Levisima Siemens Syndrome.

That was when things began to get fucked up real bad. Like, a 100% percent really bad. Everyone knew we were poor. It spread like wildfire. My stepdad was a merchant. We had a good source of income. We could buy our needs and most of our wants. But after my mom was diagnosed with LSS, things went downhill for us. We just couldn't keep up with the medication she was having, and we found ourselves lacking even of our needs. I asked my original parents not to step in our situation because it would be too unfair for the others. And then, they would start wondering how the hell we managed to get a hold all of that money. But as it turns out, even if they do give us money, it wouldn't help us the least bit because the currency was so much different than ours.

It started when Ami, one of my past bullies, and still a bully, threw a huge birthday party in her house. Considering she was of a ninja clan, her compound was big enough to make room for all of us. All students, literally from the whole school was imvited, and me, against to my wishes, was forced to go, because I was hoping I could eat something for dinner and that my stepdad wouldn't have to include cooking my ration, or better yet, I could take some food home and save it for breakfast.

I decided to wear my best yukata and my most exquisite hairpiece. It was my mother's gift, my original mother's gift – okay, let's just say that when I say 'mother', I meant the ones from Soul Society, when I say 'mom', I meant the ones from here. It wasn't really all that extravagant. It was a pink hairclip with a cherry blossom on top that my mother had specially made for me for my namesake. She didn't want me to be fond of extravagant things, so she made me this one.

The party started off quite nicely, which meant I wasn't disturbed by any of the uppity snotty-nosed brats who were also Ami's minions. And that alone was a really good thing.

"What a bloody pig," maybe not. I turned around swiftly and saw Minami scrunching her nose at me as if I was some trash littered with street rats. I gently released the egg pie I was holding back to the plate and let my hands drop down to my sides.

"Oh no, no. take that egg pie back with you. Maybe even the whole thing! God knows where you've been laying those hands of yours when you get to the Akasen. It's better to eat foods confirmed safe," she sneered. When I didn't move, she huffed and went to the table then grabbed the plate and thrust it to me. "Here! Just take it! It's probably infected with your germs now anyway!"

My face fell and she and her posies passed by me, mocking laughter bellowing from their throats. I cringed before secretly sealing the pie on my left wrist. It was those kinds of basic storage sealing taught in the academy, where we only had to paint a tattoo in any part of our body and deliver a small pulse of chakra to unseal the object, which in my case is very useful right now.

I decided to stray away from the party and walk around for a bit. I already got more than enough. I couldn't pig out for more. I was in a hallway like place when I caught sight of a room with an ajar door. With my curiosity eating me, I couldn't help but to look inside, only to gape in amazement at the vast number of books and scrolls piled neatly on the shelves. Without even thinking, I padded towards the nearest bookshelf and unconsciously slid a book out of it. Reading the cover, I grew excited. It was those kinds of books not even available at the public library. These were the kinds of books that depicted the Warring States Era. When I went to the next shelf there were books about Orochimaru, and the updated versions of the bingo books. I carelessly turned around and almost jumped from my skin when my hand hit something that knocked it off the shelves.

The impact made a huge sound, so I assumed that maybe it was hollow metal or something, and it was enough to alert the shinobi in the next room because the next thing I knew, I was pinned down the floor with a kunai on my throat, black scrolls scattered around me.

::

So yeah, that's pretty much how my life got flipped over. When I was caught in the private library in Ami's compound, I was brought to the Hokage and interrogated as to why I was in there. No matter how much interrogations I was put in, I knew I was doomed. Though it was blatantly clear I didn't do anything wrong, Ami would make sure my life would become a living hell.

Like this for example, banishing me out of Konoha.

The Watanabes weren't a formidable ninja clan. They were normal with no secret jutsus in their arsenals, but they hold a great importance when it came to the economy of the village. Aside from being shinobis, one of their main occupation was also being a merchant. Konoha must be rolling in a bed of money, having so much merchants and businessmen in one village.

The Hokage was not a fair man. That much had been clear when I had my trial. In order to make sure their funds remain intact and still have the support of the Watanabes, no one offered to vouch for me – not even one of my dearest friends. Not even Sasuke. Not even Ino. Not even Karin. dammit.

And so, here I am now, at least 50 meters away from Konoha's gates with a duffel bag and a somber expression. I was banished from Konoha. For three whole years.

Only my stepdad had been able to see me off. My friends, as put nicely, might've been too embarrassed to show up at my face.

But I guess, it works to my advantage to. Especially now that I thought of never coming back again. I told my stepdad about my plans, and told him to tell mom to never wait for me. He nodded and left without a word, then we parted ways. I didn't bother leaving a message for anyone to find – because seriously, we're not in some tragic drama romance novel in here.

Mother emerges through a senkaimon just a little farther away from Konoha.

"So, do I have to kill myself?" I asked jokingly as I take Mother's hand. Father was not around, so Mother opted to retrieve me by herself.

"No, but…" she trails off, uncertainty lacing her voice. "Yamamoto-taichou says he wishes to speak with you.

"I see," I mumble.

And with one last glance at the blurring outline of Konoha, we step inside the senkaimon.

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Woohoo, I've finally driven Sakura out of Konoha successfully. Will Sakura really leave Konoha for good? Please review for suggestions.