Chapter Two

Courage

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As I pulled up to the house that I knew only too well, I felt a shiver run up my spine, despite the heating blasting against my skin in an attempt to keep me warm. I loved December, don't get me wrong. I loved Christmas and New Year, I was really kind of a sucker when it came to family events, even though I tried to hide it from Ma and everybody else, except for Maura, who seemed to always be able to see right through me. I don't know how she does it! However like all good things in life, it had its down side- the weather. I love snowball fights with my brothers (I beat them every time- just saying) and I love the feeling of coming into Maura's house from the cold, to meet a nice warm fire, not to mention Ma's beautifully cooked snacks. However it just made my job even harder. I can't be bothered to go to a crime scene, sometimes I rush to get out of the cold and have you ever tried chasing a suspect with ice under you feet with shoes that have virtually no grip? No? Well I'll tell you, it's hard. Very hard. However it was not the cold that was making me shiver uncontrollably, nor was it idea of going in my old house to probably see someone I knew dead on the floor- although this was contributing to it. It was because of my dream. It was so real! I could almost feel Hoyt's breath on my skin! The pain seemed to be there with me, sending a thousand shocks to the scars again, like it did in the hospital not long ago.

I continued to sit in the car, trying to pluck up some courage to leave, but I couldn't do it. Not yet at least. Hoyt's voice was still echoing in my ears.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw a friend of Frankie's stood on patrol, watching me. Although, it did give me the creeps, I knew he was worried about me. He'd probably already seen Frankie's reaction to the scene. Little did he know I felt haunted but by something else completely. Why was this dream taking so long to go away? I just wanted it to leave me alone!

As I sat there rubbing the scars on my hands, I felt suddenly felt dizzy and I had to lean back, resting my head on the head rest of my chair. I started breathing heavily to, I didn't even know why but the dizziness was over taking me completely.

Knock, knock, knock.

To my surprise Frankie's friend had rushed over to see if I was ok. My head shot up to look at him as he opened the door and all the cold rushed it, causing me to shiver even more.

"You ok, Rizzoli?"

"Yeah, of course, just a bit nervous about going in there," I said, clearly lying, however he didn't seem to notice, either that or he just chose to drop it.

"Yeah, Frankie's pretty shaken by it."

"Where is he? Did he go home?"

"Of course not, he's a Rizzoli. You Rizzolis don't give up and go home." I laughed at his statement. That's so true.

"Yeah, he's got my stubbornness."

"He stayed at the scene with Korsak."

"How's he coping?"

"Last time I heard, he was doing really well but still shaken, waiting for you I think."

"Doctor Isles here yet?"

"Yeah, one of the first here, after she heard the crime scene was at your old house I think she must have jumped in her car and broke all the speed limits to get her as quick as possible!"

"Ha, yeah, that's Maura for you."

"You need help getting out?"

"No, I'm good thanks," I said, finally climbing out the car, I'd actually forgot that I was still sat in the car, despite the chill of the early morning wind. "Where's the crime scene?"

"Top of the stair, to the left."

"Ok, thanks." I said, walking off, immediately putting my hands in my pockets, regretting not putting some gloves before rushing out the door and my wet hair was not helping matters either. I thought my head was actually going to turn into an icicle.

As I walked in the passage of the house, I looked up the old, familiar stairs and the officer's words echoed in my ears like Hoyt's voice always did after a nightmare. 'Top of the stairs, to the left,' this was not good I knew that room only too well.

"Oi! Rizzoli!"

Suddenly I snapped out of my daydream and stared up the stairs to see where the voice came from. It was Korsak. I ran up the stairs stopping in front of him.

"You ok? Frost's been a nervous wreck about you, since he rang. I thought he was over exaggerated; now I see what he means. You been having trouble sleeping or something?" He continued.

"Thanks Korsak, you look stunning too."

"You know what I mean! Come on crime scenes through here." I just smiled and nodded and followed my partner through to the room I knew extremely well, dreading it more and more with every step. What's in there?

As I walked in the door, I stepped back in shock. I covered my mouth as I gasped. My breathing was becoming harder and harder to control. It couldn't be him! Please, God, no!

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