A/N: I just found the original of this story (or rather my mum did), and apparently it was written on the 4th of July 2007, in school with a teaching assistant. I can't remember which TA it was because there were lots back then, but her name was Miss Hunt. Anyway, there's a learning objective there at the top of the crumpled first page, it reads as follows:

L.O to produce a story with Miss Hunt writing a few lines each in turn.

I can't believe how rubbish my handwriting was back then! Oh, and the fact that I was allowed to write about Wallace and Gromit is in itself no small feat. And I was in year 6! Not long before the time my mum finally took me out of that horrible school, actually. So, I've decided to type up the original version (minus the typos), with my parts underlined:

Wallace and Gromit: The Bird Attack – Type-up of original

"CHEESE!" said Wallace, opening his birthday present. Inside the wrapping paper was a block of cheese carved into a model of Wallace eating cheese. Wallace took the model of himself and put it on the mantel piece.

Gromit gave Wallace his second present. "Ooh, a lovely new jumper!" said Wallace. He held the jumper up and tried it on over his shirt, "Always a perfect fit! Good work, Gromit!" said Wallace. Wallace patted Gromit's head then walked into the kitchen, Gromit brought in the cheese statue, "Need to keep it refrigerated!" said Wallace. He put it in the fridge, and then took out another piece of cheese, he also got some crackers from the cupboard. "Always have to have crackers on a birthday." he said. He at the table and cut the cheese, placing it on top of the crackers, Wallace took a bite.

(the rest of this is from my own mind, so not underlined... it would be stupid to have the whole thing underlined when there's no need for underlining.)

"The Cheese House is always open, how about we go out for lunch?" said Wallace. Gromit nodded and followed Wallace out of the door.

"OW – HEY – STOP THAT, you stupid birds!" said Wallace, fighting off a gang of twittering birds.

Then the birds started attacking Gromit, "Shoo – get off 'im – STOP!" said Wallace.

"Baah!"; Shaun was trotting down the doorstep.

"Baah baaah baah-baah baah," said Shaun, as if to say "It's birds versus sheep."

"Shaun, how'd you get out?" said Wallace.

"Bah-bah." said Shaun, as if to say "Easy."

Then Shaun kicked one of the birds, "Baah BAAAAAAH!" he said.

Then one of the birds started pulling the yarn of Wallace's jumper, "Hey – get off – help!" he said, as the birds hoisted him into the air, "Oh no – Gromit, HELP!" he said.

Gromit shot into the air and jumped on all the birds – SPLAT! Then Wallace landed on the ground with an "Ow!"

"Thanks, Gromit," he said.

"Baah bah-bah baah?" said Shaun.

"You too, Shaun." said Wallace.

A/N: Why is it that there are so many things I now find wrong with this, but the most prominent in my mind is that I now find it hard to believe 'jumping on all the birds' was the best thing Gromit could come up with at the time. Shaun karate-kicking one of them I can totally believe (for some reason), but Gromit jumping on them all? I think I was either 10 or 11 when this was written, and of course I'm now hankering to rewrite it so that's what I'm going to do. This is also on , but that was from when I typed it up a while back, so there's some new plot twists and still some typos in that old write-up. This is completely a type-up of the original version that was written on lined paper, minus the typos of course as I cannot abide them in my works.

So, rewrite… there was not enough of Wallace and Gromit's mannerisms in the original, I believe.

Wallace and Gromit: The Bird Attack – [more-or-less] Complete Rewrite

"Cheese!" Wallace exclaimed, having unwrapped his first birthday present eagerly. Inside the mess of wrapping paper was a cheesy [literally] little statue of himself eating cheese and crackers. He took the statue and placed it atop the mantel piece.

Gromit handed Wallace his second present – which was unwrapped just as eagerly.

"Ooh, a lovely new jumper!" it was blue, with red patterns that were rather similar [in colour] to his red bowtie. He put it on over his shirt [having worn no jumper that day], "Always a perfect fit! Thanks, lad." he said, patting his canine companion on the head. Gromit, having no ability of speech, just rolled his eyes at his oblivious master.

Wallace grabbed the cheese statue from the mantel piece, and took it into the kitchen to refrigerate it. Once that was done, he went back into the lounge, picked up the birthday crock of Wensleydale and took that into the kitchen on his way back. He set the Wensleydale on the kitchen table, and got some crackers out of a cupboard. Preparing his favourite snack of cheese and crackers, he tucked in.

"The Gorgonzola Museum is open on Mondays, how 'bout we go over there and then have lunch out?"

Gromit was reading Electronics for Dogs and not really listening to Wallace. The pair got ready for their outing. A sudden yelp from outside alerted Gromit of odd happenings, and as he walked out the door on all fours he was met with a frankly ridiculous sight; Wallace being attacked by a gaggle of birds. Among the lot were kingfishers and (for some reason) ducks and chickens. As well as a few geese, god help him…

"Gromit, help get these ruddy things away!"

Gromit facepalmed. If he'd had a mouth he'd tell Wallace just how ridiculous this was, but as it was he didn't so he just rolled his eyes again.

Gromit decided to help, but his plans backfired when the birds left Wallace altogether and went instead to attack him. Arms flailing, his logical mind shut down and he knew of nothing else to do than fight back with numbed limbs.

"'ere, ger'off 'im!" Wallace yelled, but Gromit could barely make him out from within the birds' twisted encasement.

He felt a break in their ranks, but it was short-lived. Had Wallace or someone managed to create a gap? He found it hard to believe, these birds seemed to be growing in numbers and their feathery shield from the outside world was impenetrable.

Another gap. What was happening? Was someone grabbing random birds in the hopes of reducing their numbers? Fat chance, anyone could see it was an impossible thing.

The pecking and snipping and loss of air was tough, and he realized he must be bleeding in allot of places. As the black and dark of unconsciousness consumed him, his last thought was that they should have stayed in. Should've stayed in…

Wallace, meanwhile, was having a real dilemma. Go for help or take matters into his own hands? He couldn't really decide between the two. If he went for the former, Gromit got hurt more while he searched; if he went for the latter, the birds would hurt him more or even gang up on him again.

He was surprised to find Shaun standing on the doorstep. He rubbed his eyes in disbelief. Shaun in itself was not an odd occurrence, but he was a sheep and he was standing. Shaun leapt from the doorstep, and with a practised hoof he kicked a gap in the bird-cover – but it was not enough, the birds regrouped and stayed where they were in utter defiance.

Shaun decided, on a whim, to kick in another gap and see what happened. He rolled his eyes when it again failed, but baah'd in shock when the great bird-tower swayed like it was ill or passing out– wait, it was Gromit doing the swaying! As the bird-tower toppled over, some of the stronger birds tried in vain to keep their prey upright. He finally collapsed, and the birds decided an unconscious victim was no good a victim at all, flying away like nothing had happened.

"Gromit, lad!" Wallace exclaimed, sensing it was safe to approach. He took the pup into his arms, not a vet but the closest thing to a vet in the vicinity.

"Oh, Gromit…"

A/N: Not so silly this time, but very heavy on the horror. I've been told I'm very good at angst, I'm honestly wondering if I'm any good at horror. Did Gromit survive? I have no idea, but I'm actually hoping he didn't. I write too many happy endings! So, he died. But don't worry, he went to doggy heaven… Right now he's playing poker with K-9 Mark II and the 101 dalmatians. And he's got the winning hand, because K-9 has nothing to hold his cards up with and the dalmatians are minors.

Gorgonzola Museum… I'm not a big fan of cheese unless it's on a pizza, but I'd love to go there if it ever existed. Or perhaps the Lego Museum in Manchester, which DOES exist, and I'm going up the Manchester to visit my brother Dan and his missus in the Easter hols.

EDIT 05/04/11 – Now in Manchester with Dan. Going to be using Wii Fit for the first time tomorrow, and he has a lightsaber! So fun :D AND its the Easter Holidays now for me so I finally have time to post this up. All typed up on the 29th of March, besides this edit which has been done on the 5th of April. Going to put this up now… Please R&R, I'd love to hear your views on the new version.