"What happened?" Verna shouted as Cara came through the trees carrying Kahlan's limp body in her arms.
"Nicci." she said in a tired huff. "We have to get her inside," she nodded to the woman in her arms, "She's been out for over a day."
"Spirits, I thought Nicci was dead."
"So did we."
"Kahlan!" Richard's voice came from the door of the palace as he came looking for Sister Verna. "What happened?" he half cried, running to meet the women coming and taking Kahlan's body from his friend. "You have to heal her!" he shouted at Verna as they ran through the halls.
"I can't," she said softly pushing the blankets off the bed as he laid Kahlan's body onto the bed, "my han isn't strong enough."
"Who's is?" He asked quickly, ripping the cloth around the wound.
"Zeddicus." Verna said quickly, moving around the bed to help him, "You can heal her."
"What?" he looked up, meeting her eyes, "I can't-I- She's carrying my child. I can't-" he struggled to find the words, "I can't risk losing her-losing them." he said honestly.
"You can." she stated calmly, "You know how." His heart pounded in his ears, the thought of losing her was making him sick. "You can do this." she assured him. "Just place your hands over the wound," she waited as he moved into position, "you know what to do, Richard."
Closing his eyes, he stopped the flow of tears and he imagined what he wanted to do. "I can-"
"Yes you can." Cara finally spoke, "You can do anything for her."
Her words flowed through him, giving him a push. Light began to emerge from his hands, flowing smoothly onto her body. after several minutes, her wound slowly began to close and the bleeding come to a stop and her eyes fluttered open. His arms were around her in seconds, lifting her from the bed, causing her to cough.
"Thank the spirits." he whispered into her hair. She managed a small smile before falling back to the bed unconscious.
"What happened Cara?" He asked moving onto the bed and pulling Kahlan into his arms.
"She woke me. I went out to see what she heard, when I returned Nicci was with her."
"What did she want?"
"I'm not sur-"
"How can you not be sure? You were supposed to be protecting her!" he said angrily.
"She whispered something into her ear. I couldn't hear. When I stepped closer, she-" she paused, looking to Kahlan for a moment before returning her gaze to him. "When I looked back for her, she was gone." He could hear the change in her tone as she spoke, "I couldn't leave her there and go looking for her, so I carried her back here."
He waited a moment before he spoke, staring at Kahlan his mind filled with thoughts of what Nicci had said to her. "You didn't hear anything?"
"Before I returned, I heard Kahlan say something about han."
He was finding it hard to look at her, the thought that she hadn't been able to protect the woman he loved was burning through him. Keeping his eyes on Kahlan, he sighed "See if you can send word to Zedd." he heard her turn and walk through the door, but he didn't look up. "I'm sorry Kahlan." he whispered, moving himself to lay in a more comfortable position beside her.
"Richard?" she asked confused, her voice barely audible.
"I'm here." he replied, his heart jumping as she turned to look at him.
Looking at him for a moment, her eyes filled with tears, "I'm sorry Richard." she cried before looking away from him.
'What? Kahlan it's not your fault." he tried to sooth her, his fingers moving gently through her hair, usually sending a wave of calmness through her body.
Shaking her head, she struggled to breathe as she grabbed her stomach and released a cry of pain. Looking down he noticed the blood starting to stain the sheets. Carefully laying her back, he pulled the blankets from her only to find the wound was not where the blood was coming from. Filled with panic, Richard moved down the bed, throwing the blankets from the bed. Her cries were ringing in his ears as he ripped her skirt. His heart pounded as he searched for the source of the blood.
Suddenly the room went quiet, jerking his head up, he waited for her to move. She didn't. "Kahlan?" he whispered giving her thigh a light squeeze. "Kahlan!" he cried, reaching forward to her shoulders. "Kahlan, Please!"
"What's going-" Sister Verna stood frozen a moment at the door at the sight before her. Blood dripped from the bed onto the floor as Richard pulled his Confessor into his arms. "What happened?" she asked softly, forcing her feet to carry her into the room.
"I don't know." he said softly, shaking his head as tears fell down his cheeks. "She- She just- She was bleeding, I couldn't find- I don't know." pressing his face into her hair, he rocked them as he cried.
Moving around them, Verna carefully looked over Kahlan, trying to find where the blood came from. After a few minutes, she carefully began to change the blankets. "This doesn't make any sense." she said mostly to herself as she lifted the bloody blankets from the floor. "Nicci must have more han left than we thought."
"I'm going to find her."
The anger in his tone caught her attention, "You can't-"
"Look what she's done!" the tears were still falling down his cheeks as more anger grew within him.
Stepping closer, Verna took in a deep breath, "Richard, you can't go looking for Nicci. You can't do that to her." she motioned towards Kahlan, "If she lost you, i'm not sure she would survive." she said honestly, before walking through the door.
"Zedd's on his wa-" she stopped at the sight of blood on the floor. "What happened?"
He couldn't answer her. Shaking his head, he tightened his grip around Kahlan's waist, pulling her impossibly closer.
"Help me." Verna said as she returned.
Speaking in whispers Cara and Verna cleaned the blood off the floor, looking up to Richard every few moments.
"Richard?" her soft voice echoed through his ears.
Opening his eyes they locked on hers, "Thank the spirits!" he said almost smiling. "I thought I was going to lose you."
Staring at him, she found herself lost for words.
"What happened?" he asked softly, seeing the fear in her eyes as he spoke and wishing he understood it.
"She wants her han back."
"What else did she say?"
"I'm sorry Richard." she said, pulling herself out of his arms and trying to sit up. A soft moan of pain escaped her lips before she fell back into his embrace.
"You have nothing to be sorry for." He said softly, helping her to get comfortable. Moving out from under her, he gently laid her back against the bed. Watching her, he waited for her to say something. "Kahlan-"
"What do you want me to say?" her anger confused him, her eyes staring down at the sheets.
Inching closer, he reached for her hands, "I want you to talk to me."
"I can't."
"Why not?" he asked quickly, moving his head down, trying to get her to look at him. "Hey, don't cry." he whispered, pulling her into his arms. "You don't have to tell me right now."
She pressed her hands against his chest, her tears flowing freely as she pushed him away from her. "I can't-Richard. I can't tell you." shaking her head, she tried to stop crying, "I should tell you, but I can't."
"Why not?"
"I can't lose you." she said softly, her voice shaking as she avoided eye contact.
"You could never lose me. Kahlan, nothing you say would cause you to lose me." taking her face in his hands, he lifted it to look at him. "I love you. Nothing you say will change that."
Closing her eyes, she cried "It's what I did."
"What?"
Wiping her eyes, she looked up into his brown eyes, "I- She told me-Richard, our child..."
"What about our child?" he asked, growing concerned. She stared at him, her confessor's face failing her. How could she tell him? It would destroy him. "Kahlan?"
"I thought something was wrong, but I couldn't be sure. Then I thought I was imagining things." she spoke softly, trying to continue.
"I don't understand."
Bringing her hands to her face, she covered her mouth, trying to muffle the sound of her cry. "I can't."
Confused and worried, he pulled her tightly into his arms, "It's all right. You don't have to tell me."
"Richard, it's been two days, you must return to your studies." Verna said as she stepped through the door, "Cara will stay with Kahlan." she added as the Mord-Sith walked through the doors.
"It's all right Richard." Kahlan said hoping he would leave with Verna. "You should go." she said softly, closing her eyes and turning her head away from him.
He sighed, wishing she would talk to him. "If you need me..."
The moment the door closed, her eyes opened, locking on Cara, who was standing at the door. "How am I going to tell him the child is not his?"
"What?" she said stepping closer, mouth open in shock. "You were with child before we left Aydindril. You said it was his!" she was shouting now, "You lied to him!"
"No!" Kahlan said quickly, "I was and it was his." she paused waiting for Cara to calm down.
"I don't understand." she replied honestly, coming closer to the bed.
"When I was with Darken Rahl, he made me drink something. I didn't know what it was, he wouldn't answer me, but when I drank it- Cara, when I drank it I felt death. I didn't realize what happened, then he-we..." her words trailed off, knowing she didn't need to continue. "A few days later I felt the life again. I thought I was imagining it all."
"But you didn't."
She looked up into her friends eyes, "I wanted to believe I was. But, when Nicci told me..."
"Are you going to tell him?"
"I don't know how. It would kill him." quickly, she looked down to the sheets, slightly ashamed.
"What do you think not telling him will do? He thinks you would never lie to him."
"How can I tell him?" Kahlan asked softly looking up from the bed, "I have to tell him."
"Tell who what?" Zedd's powerful voice came from the door.
"Zedd!" Kahlan managed to push down the pain rising within her as she attempting to get up to hug the wizard.
"Don't move." Cara said sternly, "Richard's already upset, he would take my head off if you got hurt again."
"What happened child?" Zedd asked sitting next to Kahlan on the side of the bed.
"Nicci found us."
Wrapping his arms around her, he took in a deep breath, grateful she was alive, "What happened?"
"I did something, Zedd. Something I shouldn't have." she said softly, looking up into his eyes, hoping he would understand. "This child," she said holding her hand over her stomach, "is Darken Rahl's."
"What?" he shouted as he stood up.
His reaction was what she had expected and yet, she couldn't stop the tears that began to flow freely down her cheeks.
"Zedd please, let me explain-"
"How could you tell him it was his?"
She sat there, staring at the wizard, "I-" she paused, trying to pick her words carefully. "I was being selfish." she said after a moment. "I was afraid- I am afraid," she corrected herself, "he would hate me."
Looking down at her, he smiled a small smile, "Kahlan, Richard loves you. He could never hate you."
"I hate myself." she said softly. "Zedd, I can't live with out him."
"You said you were with child when we were leaving Aydindril-"
"I was." she said as he sat back down on the bed. "I was and it was Richard's child. Darken Rahl must have known."
"He gave you an elixir." Zedd said releasing a sigh, "Spirits child, I should have known." slowly, he pulled her into his arms, hugging her, "Tell him. He will understand." Feeling her body shake in his arms, he tightened his hold on her, attempting to comfort her.
"You've heard of the elixir?" Cara said, suddenly reminding them she was in the room.
Turning towards her, Zedd nodded "Yes, but it hasn't been used since it was forbidden, but that was years before I finished my training."
"How did Darken Rahl get it?" Kahlan asked, looking from Zedd to Cara and back again.
Shaking his head, Zedd sighed, "He always had unlimited resources, it wouldn't surprise me if he had it for years."
"Why would anyone create such an elixir?" Kahlan said staring down at her hands, "It's barbaric." she added, looking up to Zedd.
Looking down at Kahlan's hands, Cara drew in a deep breath, "How does it work? Kill the child she carries and allows her to conceive within hours of the death-" she stopped, knowing by the look on Kahlan's face that she couldn't handle the rest of the sentence.
"No. It takes days to take full effect."
"Then why did Rahl bed her that evening?" Cara said confused. "Wouldn't he have known-"
"He should have known. He wouldn't have made that kind of mistake-"
"Mistake?" Kahlan said quickly "What do you mean?"
"The elixir would kill anything trying to uh-conceive a child. It would take days before it would leave the woman's body."
Stepping closer, almost forced to sit on the bed, Cara crossed her arms. "How is she carrying a child now then?"
"I do not know. Kahlan, you need to speak with Richard. He deserves to know."
As Zedd stood up and walked to the door a thought crossed her mind, "Zedd, is there a chance the child- Richard's child didn't die?"
"I'm afraid I do not know. I suppose it could be possible, but I do not believe that it is." Noticing the look on her face, he stepped towards her, "Why?"
"I feel like it is Richards."
Slowly, he walked towards the door, trying to keep himself from running through it, pulling Kahlan into his arms and begging her to talk to him. As he reached the door, he stopped, running his fingers through his hair and taking a deep breath before opening the door. One look at her and he found himself falling in love with her all over again. Just as he did every time he saw her.
"Hi." she said softly, her heart pounding at the sight of the love for her in his eyes.
"Hi." he smiled back, comforted by the sound of her voice. Slowly, he made his way towards the bed, his eyes never leaving her hers. "Kahlan-"
"I have to tell you." she said softly interrupting him.
"Tell me what?" Standing at the edge of the bed, he waited for her to speak.
She took in a deep breath, wondering how she was going to find the courage to speak. "Richard, before I tell you, I ask you to wait until I am finished before you say anything."
Nodding his head, he sat down onto the bed. "all right."
They sat in silence for a few moments, Richard stared at her, waiting for her to speak. "When I was with Darken Rahl..." she stared, her voice so soft, he was straining to hear her, "I conceived a child."
His eyes widened in confusion, "How is that possible?"
She looked down at the sheets, tears filling her eyes, "I- The elixir I drank, Richard... Our child," she paused, trying to stop the urge to vomit, "I lost our child." she cried, bringing her hand up to her mouth.
Staring at her, his heart began to pound against his chest, he thought it would burst through him. His mind was racing as he quickly turned away from her, taking a few steps towards the door. Tears slowly spilling onto his cheeks.
"I'm sorry Richard." He could hear the horror what had happen in her voice, he wanted to face her, but he couldn't move. "Richard," she said softly, "say something."
He stared at the floor, trying to speak. "I don't know what to say." he said honestly.
"Say anything." she said through sobs.
Running his fingers through his hair, he took in a deep breath before forcing his feet to turn him towards her. "That's what she told you isn't it?"
Nodding, she attempted to wipe the tears from her face, only to have more trace down the same path. "One of the-"
"What else did she tell you?"
Confused, she shook her head, trying to remember. "Why is it important?"
"Nicci lies. We can't believe a word that she says." he said suddenly confident in his words. "She lied to you-"
"I don't believe she did."
"Why not?" He asked stepping backwards, "You already knew..."
"I wasn't sure."
His heart stopped at her words, "What do you mean?"
He stood there, for what seemed like hours as she explained what had happened. When she finished, he almost smiled.
"Why would he take you after giving you the elixir? He must have known that it would keep you from conceiving." He said as he walked towards her.
"It didn't keep me from conceiving."
Looking up at him, she was surprised to see a smile on his face. "Kahlan, don't you see?" he sat down in front of her, grabbing her hands in his. "You didn't lose our child."
"Richard, just because you want to believe it doesn't make it true."
His smile widened, "If our child had died, you wouldn't have been able to conceive as soon as you did. It's not possible. You said it yourself, it would take days for it to leave your body." the happiness in his voice stopped the tears she had collecting in her eyes.
"How can you be so sure?"
"Kahlan, when Cara brought you back and you were- and I started to heal you- I felt it. I can't explain it, I don't even know if it's possible, but I am sure of what I felt."
For the first time in days she smiled, her fears suddenly melting away as she watched him. "What did it feel like?" she asked hoping she had been having the same feeling.
"I don't know if I can explain it." he repeated as he laid back on the bed and closed his eyes. "It was a good feeling. A connection, like a piece of myself within you." his smile widened as spoke, "I never imagined feeling anything like it." Sitting up, he looked into her blue eyes, the same eyes that mesmerized him, every time he looked into them. "What?" he asked as she smiled widely.
"That's how i've felt." she said as fresh tears collected in her eyes.
"She lied to you." he said softly, reaching up and brushing the hair out of her face and tucking it gently behind her ear, before running his thumb across her cheeks, removing the tears. "I have no doubt that it was a lie. The child you carry is ours." Pulling his hand back, his smile slightly faded. "What else did she tell you?"
"She told me you would give her the han. She said you knew what she would do if you didn't do as she asks." Speaking Nicci's words was making Kahlan nervous now that she thought about them. "Richard, she's expecting you to come for her."
"I know."
"You can't go." she said quickly, grabbing his hands and holding them in her lap. "She will kill you." tightening her hold on his hands, she took in a deep breath, "I can't lose you. The past few days all I thought about was losing you. Richard I can't lose you." Shaking her head she tried to keep from crying, as she spoke. "You can't go after her."
"I can't just let her go. Kahlan, look at what she did to you." he said moving the blanket, lifting gown and showing her the scar. "Kahlan, I thought I had lost you." slowly, he traced his fingers over the flesh, "I can't allow her to come for you again."
Moving herself closer to him, she grabbed his hands, "It's not me she wants. Richard, if you go after her, she will kill you."
"Not if I kill her first." His eyes hardened as he stared at her, silently telling her not to talk him out of it.
Taking in a deep breath, she surrendered, "Promise me you'll come back."
"I promise."