I can't tell you how much I appreciate your reviews. Thank you so very much.
I know not all of you like to read smut so I want to give a heads-up to a bit of a graphic, intimate scene at the end of this chapter. It's explicit because I felt a need to really get across this bond between two characters and I just couldn't find another way to write it. This story won't have too much of that but I promise to put a warning whenever I get a bit crude.
Chapter 2: Camouflage
The threat of evil is ever present… We can contain it as long as we stay vigilant, but it can never truly be destroyed. ~ Lorraine Warren
They'd been swamped with cases for a couple of weeks now. Liv couldn't wait for this long summer to be over, she was silently praying for rain and cooler weather so people would stay indoors and away from the streets and parks. Special victims was busy all year round but the flashers, gropers and random opportunist sexual offenders would at least drop once fall came.
She put down the last of a very thick pile of files on her desk with a heavy sigh as her eyes went out to the squad room. She could see all four detectives at their respective desk, or more so the top of their heads as they too were busy with files and paper work. She was grateful things were running smoothly between them now with the heavy workload. She spotted Nick raising his hands above his head stretching out before he dove back down again. She knew he was at a rather good point with his ex-wife these days and that he saw his daughter every other weekend and for longer periods during school breaks. She wasn't sure how things were going with his son and his mother though and Liv made a mental note to ask out of concern when she got a chance to catch him alone.
Her eyes wandered across the desk to her newest recruit, Keith Winters. His short chestnut brown hair was as usually perfectly combed back, the sideburns perfectly shaved. She couldn't see his face but she wondered if he had used that five o'clock shadow trick when he shaved this morning. Liv had overheard him talking to Nick in the gents one day, Keith said that trim drove the ladies wild. She hadn't heard Nick chuckle but it had made Liv smile. Yes Keith was probably a bit of a ladies man even though she knew he'd been burned in the ugly divorce a couple of years ago.
Either way she felt relieved that he'd fitted in so well with the squad. She knew she had a lot of that to thank Nick for, he'd been showing him the ropes since day one, really stepping up for her and the entire squad. Keith seemed perhaps a bit excessive about his exterior but still laid back and she'd never had a problem interacting with him. He could take an order, never seemed bothered by the fact she was a woman and he never complained about long hours or strenuous work. He was eager to do a good job. He reminded her of Nick when he first got here, and of Amanda.
Amanda. Her eyes went over to her blonde head. Liv straighten her back a little so she could get a better look at her. Her eyes were glued to the computer screen. She had a pen between her lips, the yellow stick bounced a little every time she bit down on it. She seemed to be in a good place right now. Liv had noticed her getting a little too involved with the Hailey Specter case a few weeks back but Liv knew all too well how hard it was to distance yourself in some cases. And with Amanda's history Liv figured she might have struggle with it a little more than usual.
And then it was the surprise visit by her mom in the middle of all that as well. Liv still didn't know what exactly had gone down between the only two remaining females of the Rollins family, perhaps of the entire family. She'd tried to approach Amanda about it but Amanda had made it bluntly clear that she didn't want to talk about it. Liv did have a hard time getting close to Amanda. Rarely did she have to reprimand or confront her so she rarely got to spend time alone with her.
They did have a one on one in Liv's office every month but Liv couldn't help but feel there was some barricade between them. Like Amanda had this invisible but very tangible shield up that prevented Liv to get close. And it wasn't just metaphorically, it felt physical too. Amanda had this way of sliding just slightly away from you if you got too close. Liv barely noticed it but it got evident when Liv was the voyeur of Amanda with a group of people. Amanda always stood one step behind or to the side.
Liv wondered if doctor Olivet got that shield too or if Amanda felt secure enough to drop it when with her psychiatrist? And if so, was there something Liv could do to make it easier for Amanda? Was there something about Liv that made Amanda feel a need to withdraw? Fin was the only one who Amanda seemed almost completely relaxed around.
Liv's eyes wandered over to the clean cut head across from the blonde. Liv smiled as she caught him closing his eyes for a second. Or perhaps it had been a few minutes? As long as he handed in his report at the end of the day she didn't have a problem with it. Fin was a very valuable member of her team. He was a good cop and he felt like the reliable, unwavering backbone of this hard working unit. He was important for them all but crucial for Amanda and the fact they had her back on the squad.
Liv had felt it was too soon. Too soon for her to come back to work, too soon to try and leave what had happened behind her. But Liv hadn't said anything back then hoping they could all carry her through. She had raised her voice when Cragen had let Amanda come in to do the interrogation with Simon, aired her concern about Amanda not being strong enough to even be up on her feet. It had been so obvious, the amount of physical pain Amanda had been in and if you could see that, how much pain wasn't she then hiding within?
Liv still felt they'd pushed, and perhaps used, Amanda to the brink of life but without the truth, even if it was hard to hear, Liv figured Amanda just hadn't been able to go on. She was barely able to go on even with the truth but the not knowing was almost always worse than knowing. At least you were able to try and move on once you had the truth served to you.
Liv couldn't even imagine what Fin must've gone through with Amanda, maybe still even went through. They rarely talked about Amanda. Liv would try and dig at times but she could tell Fin's loyalty to his partner immediately made him reserved and careful about what he disclosed. Liv didn't hold that against him. She just tried and make sure to really listen intently the few times Fin did turn to her and to try and interpret his at times intricate ways of airing concern for his partner.
She wasn't sure what their status was. She'd been completely blown away by the revelation two years ago that the two slept together, and even more so that they seemed to have been able to handle it so casually and without it affecting their work. She of course knew Amanda was still staying with him but she preferred to not know if they shared a bed or not, if she knew she would have to deal with it and as long as they were both doing their job Liv didn't see a need to.
It wouldn't be such a bad thing if they were more than partners Liv caught herself thinking. Liv knew firsthand how lonely this work could make you and just how dark it could turn your thoughts. These days she had someone to come home to though and it really made life that much easier when you had someone to share burdens with and to join in laughter right when you needed it the most. She wished Fin and Amanda had found that in each other.
Liv flinched at Fin jolting awake in his seat. A yellow pen had hit him in the head, waking him up abruptly. Just as she'd copied Fin's flinch, she now smiled as she caught Fin's sour look turning in to a happy one. He tossed the pen back at his partner and Liv's smile spread as she caught Amanda's laugh, it was even loud enough to reach inside her office. It was rare you got to hear it and Liv cherished the moment.
Liv leaned back in her chair, diverting her eyes to give her squad some privacy. Yes they were all in a good place right? They were a solid squad and Liv was pretty sure they could handle whatever was thrown at them. She wished she wasn't a constant worrier though, that the tiny disarray in her gut could just ease up. Nothing would happen right? Things could just go right for a change?
The Righteous shall rejoice when he seeth the vengeance, he shall wash his feet in the blood of the wicked (Psalm 58:10)
Fin leaned down and tapped on one of her sock covered feet to get her to pull them in. He sat down in the middle of the couch with a heavy sigh. He could've just let her extend herself on the couch but he liked to sit in the middle of it for some reason. He could stretch out both his arms on the back frame and just fold out which way he wanted. And it also meant the benefit of getting at least her feet in his lap at some point.
He was stuffed having finished a big plate of Thai food and on top of that her leftovers. It had been a long day at work, case load was crazy, and she'd quickly retreated to the couch leaving him to do the dishes. He'd left her do them yesterday so he hadn't complained, well maybe a little of whining but not too much. He shot her a look before his eyes went back over to the TV screen. He could tell she was tired by that intense stare her eyes got when she really had to focus to stay awake.
"Where are they?" he asked watching the two naked people on TV that seemed to be covering themselves with mud for some to him odd reason.
"Botswana," Amanda mumbled after a few seconds.
"What are they up against?"
"Heat, thorns and hyenas," she answered a little unfocused.
"And who are they?" he asked trying to size the two people up.
"Banker and… bartender," Amanda answered a little distracted.
"I bet the blonde is the bartender," he joked but got no response.
"Survival rate?" he asked. He touched her curled up foot and repeated the question when she didn't answer. She sat up yawning and he put his arm up to give her room as she scooted closer to him to lean against him.
"He's 5,9," she said as she got comfortable against his chest and he wrapped his arms around her.
"She's 4,7 but it looks like she'll croak," she sighed as she rearranged herself a little.
"She looks fit," Fin chipped in.
"She complained about a thorn in her finger," she said with a sigh and Fin smiled.
"Looser," he mumbled.
"Told you," she mumbled back.
They watched the rest of the episode of Naked and Afraid in silence, only a slight grunt or chuckle when one of the two contenders earned one. He was a little too tired to really pay attention tonight and mostly just sat there feeling content. Content with a belly full of delicious grub, in a nice and comfy couch and with one of the people he held dearest right next to him. He leaned his cheek down on top of her head, taking a sniff of her hair and rubbing his cheek a little against her soft strands. She was totally absorbed with the TV but would probably not have been bothered with his action either way.
He closed his eyes for what was supposed to be just a moment but he must've dozed off as he awoke to her phone buzzing on the table. He realized it was more her reaction to the incoming text that awoke him though as she'd jumped so high his arm landed behind her. She quickly took his arm though and wrapped it back around her.
"You're not gonna check it?" he murmured as he wiped some saliva out of the corner of his mouth with his free hand. He felt her shake her head.
"Is it Hailey again?" he asked not able to hide a sigh. He thought she'd cut that off weeks ago.
"It's not Hailey," she whined, squirming a little to try and find her way back to that comfortable place. He threw the top of her head a curious look. He wondered who was texting her, it wasn't like she had that many friends but her phone had been buzzing quite a lot lately.
"What if it's work?" he said not wanting to leave the subject just yet. He had this constant worry that she was lying to him.
"Work would call, not text," she complained squirming again.
"But what…" he started but didn't get to finish his line.
"Shut up, you're spoiling it," she said giving his chest a slap with her palm. He couldn't help but smile and he redirected his attention to the TV. A big ass snake showed up on the TV and then an image of the guy that seemed to be ready to throw the towel in.
Amanda rearranged herself again, folding her legs over him as well and wrapping her arms around him so she almost disappeared underneath his armpit. She'd been doing that for some time now, cuddling in a way that made him feel like she was in need of protection. He didn't mind but it did worry him a little. He wasn't sure what it meant or if it meant anything. He didn't mind being her protector but he much rather see her not afraid or in need of protection.
She'd been sleeping in his bed for two nights in a row now. And not sneaking in after a nightmare but starting up in his bed. It had happened three times last week, she'd asked for permission the first night to which he'd said she never had to ask. Seeing how they were only on Wednesday now he wondered if she would make it seven out of seven this week.
She'd slept fairly well last week but for the past two nights he'd woken up to her silently whimpering and squirming next to him and with a coat of sweat starting to form all over her skin. He'd woken her by saying her name as he rubbed her arm gently. Once he got sight of her eyes and was sure he'd managed to snag her from whatever evil had tried to get her in her sleep he didn't ask for approval but just got a steady grip around her and pulled her in so her back connected with his chest. He held her tight, spooning her with both arms wrapped around her.
He knew she usually didn't like to be cornered or trapped but something implicitly just made him feel like this was what she needed right now.
And for a third night in a row he found himself doing just the same. He held her tight as he watched the light of the lamp shimmer through her blonde strands. He'd been used to sleeping in the dark but since she'd moved in he'd always left the bed light on. In the beginning it was because she needed it as she slept and later on it was left on so she would find her way there those nights when she needed him.
Now the light made him able to watch that soft slant of her cheek, the corner of her closed eye with eyelashes still dampen by tears that had formed during her nightmare. His eyes lingered there on those eyelashes as he felt her body drift back to sleep. He loosen his grip around her just slightly when he was sure she'd gone back to sleep so that he himself could relax a little.
But he wouldn't be able to relax tonight. He could feel something was wrong. Something was troubling her. He tried to think back to the time when Amanda had just come back to SVU after everything that had happened and to one of the talks he'd had with Liv. Or more so when Liv had talked to him. She'd told him to look for signs, sleep problems, impaired concentration, panic attacks, obsessiveness, joint and muscle pains with no obvious cause, reactive depression, shame, survivor guilt. All signs of PTSD. Liv had mentioned numerous more but he couldn't recall them all right now.
Sleep problems she'd suffered from for two years now, it was nothing new. He hadn't seen a panic attack for quite some time now though. But she had complained about muscle pain right? The other week, she'd complained about cramp in her leg, at least twice. But she'd done some excessive running on the tread mill that week as she'd lured him to the gym twice. He wasn't sure why she suddenly didn't go out running though. He tried to think back but he couldn't remember when she'd last gone out for a run at night.
What was reactive depression? Was it more than usual depression or less? Shame? Survivor guilt? What was he missing? What other signs were there? Damn he should've written them all down when Liv mentioned them. But he had a pamphlet somewhere right? He'd been at a support group once. Some group for friends and family of rape and sexual abuse survivors. He'd actually found his own way there, not something Cragen or Liv suggested, just his own curiosity, and perhaps helplessness, that brought him there. It hadn't been all bad. He'd even introduced himself, well as much as you did at an anonymous meeting like that. He'd said a close friend, someone he both worked and lived with, had gone through some really bad shit, that she'd almost died and that he feared she might off herself.
He'd tried to watch his words, there were some old people in the group and all of them, every age included, looked like they could cry if any even somewhat harsh words were uttered. But at the time he had been really worried Amanda would kill herself and he'd never been able to air that to anyone. She was still not back at work at this time, she wasn't even leaving the apartment. It had felt good to say it out loud and he'd appreciated the head nods but then hoped for someone to say that he was wrong. That he didn't have to worry and that she wouldn't off herself.
But all he'd heard was that almost all of them had been in his shoes, they'd all had that concern and one woman had started crying uncontrollable to the point he wondered if her loved one had really offed themselves. He didn't ask, he didn't want to know. He hadn't stayed around afterwards to have coffee, and cookies that crying woman had apparently baked. He wanted to hurry home, hoping to find Amanda alive in his apartment.
He'd never gone back but he'd taken some things home from that meeting, something other than the pamphlet. There had been a man that had spoken. His wife had been raped some time ago. It sounded like they've had a pretty long and bumpy road but he finally felt as though they'd reached a good place. They were going to have a baby and by the applauds that announcement got Fin figured it was the first the group heard of it but that they all probably knew that this man and his wife had been trying to reach this point for some time.
The tears in the man's eyes had been of happiness and hearing him say that if they'd asked him six months ago if he thought they could end up here, with a baby on the way, he would've answered never. But never would've been a lie cause here we are, the man said.
"We're here now and I'll never lose faith that anything is possible if you fight for it. If you fight for it and the love is real you can make it through almost anything."
Fin had taken those words to heart. He was a fighter. Amanda was certainly a fighter. And the love he had for her was nothing less than real.
Things had deteriorated even more after that with Amanda slipping out to pay her, Fin didn't like to call him her boyfriend but he figured that's what he'd been. She'd hooked up with the drug dealing and pimping bartender at the strip club she'd worked during her undercover stint. She'd come home bruised and high and he'd lost it for a few moments. He'd reached out for help that night. Liv being the obvious choice to ask for help and she'd stayed with Amanda as he went out to blow off steam.
And as was the case so very often, when life felt the darkest a shimmer of light suddenly appears. Liv had come up with the idea of the dog, there was a dog that needed a few months taking care of while its owner was abroad. And with the help of that dog they'd managed to get Amanda outside and then slowly back to life again. That dog was a hero. He missed that dog but they still saw her, and her owner, and had taken care of her whenever her owner had to leave town again.
It felt like just yesterday but here they were two years later. He wasn't sure when he'd stopped worrying about her offing herself. It had just vanished from his thoughts like so many other things did. They'd taken two steps forward, one back and then continued like that. Together they'd made it this far, he was pretty sure they could make it through anything after all of that. He just had to get her to open up about what it was troubling her right now.
"So is something going on?" he asked the next morning as they were getting ready to head out. They usually didn't exchanged many words to each other that early and disrupting their routine earned him a peeved look from her. He just raised his eyebrows though letting her know it was a serious question.
"What do you mean?" she said walking over to the door to get her shoes on.
"Your sleep is more disturbed than usual, you seem a bit jumpy and…" he said joining her at the door.
"And what?" she said when he left the sentence unfinished. He heard the annoyed tone in her voice but tried to disregard from it. What came out of his mouth next though was a sure sign he was nervous.
"A bit clingy."
He immediately regretted the choice of word and even more so as he saw her stunned face. She didn't even look at him but just turned her wide eyes away from him.
"What I mean is something is obviously bothering you," he said quickly trying to recover the situation, "and I wish you could talk to me about it."
"There's nothing to talk about," she said grabbing for the door as she wanted to get out of there, "and I'll stop being so clingy."
She gave him an intense stare that lasted only a second and then headed out the door. He sighed, took a second to take a deep breath and then hurried after her. He was relieved she was holding the elevator for him when he caught up to her, had she been really pissed he figured she would've rode down without him. No one said anything on the way down though. Fin usually didn't mind silence but the awkward kind, and especially between them two, was unsettling.
He got in to the car before her and when she went to put the key in the engine he grabbed the wheel. He tried to ignore the dark look she gave him.
"Just tell me you would talk to me if something was bothering you," he said with a tone that made it impossible for her to stay angry at him, it reeked with concern.
"Amanda," he begged when she didn't say anything. He could tell her face had soften but he needed her to reassure him.
"I'm…" she started and sat back a little to get some space from him. He let go of the wheel but stayed turned towards her as he waited for her to continue.
"What?" he asked softly as she remained silent and seemed to have drifted off in her thoughts. She blinked a few times as she came back to her current surroundings and then she turned to him with a slight smile forming on her lips.
"I'm just having some trouble sleeping," she said quietly, "it's just… nightmares you know."
She seemed a little embarrassed and it was the last thing he wanted her to be.
"If I… you can kick me out of your bed if I'm bothering you," she smiled and he shook his head.
"You're never a bother Amanda and I would never kick you… not when I know how hard you can kick back."
She let out a quick, loud chuckle and it made him smile as he leaned back in his seat. She got the car started and they took off.
They drove in to the station at the same time as Keith and the three of them made their way upstairs together. Fin and Keith were small talking while Amanda stayed half a step behind them. Nick was already at work and in Liv's office when the three stepped in to the squad room. Liv gestured them in to her office the moment she spotted them. Fin walked in first. Keith hung back to let Amanda pass him but changed his mind as he caught the disgruntled glare she shot him and he ended up walking in ahead of her.
"We got a third victim," Liv said as Fin walked in.
"White, single female raped outside a bar last night," she continued as all three of them was in her sight.
"Why do we hear about it now and not last night?" Fin asked shoving his hands down his pockets.
"She only walked in to the hospital this morning," Liv informed them.
"So we're definitely dealing with a serial then," Keith said putting it out there, "and he's escalating, last victim was just two nights ago."
Liv wasn't sure what to say and just sighed heavily as she looked down on the file on her desk. Four victims that they knew of so far. The first one two weeks ago, then a second one last week and two already this week. He was escalating quickly and so far they had close to nothing to go on.
"Rollins can you go with Amaro to the hospital to talk to the victim?" she asked and Amanda gave her a quick nod.
"I got to go up to 1PP even though I got close to nothing about who this guy attacking these women are," Liv sighed grabbing the dodgy and incomplete sketch they'd let a sketch artist draw up with the mere intel the victims had been able to give.
"What can we do serge?" Fin asked. Liv gave him a look.
"Have a look at the crime scene? And take another round with the previous victims, see if they can recall something they forgot to tell us," she said and looked to Keith as well.
"And keep me posted about anything you get," she shouted after her detectives as they left her office, "Anything."
She sighed and put the poor sketch back in the file. She was not looking forward to getting scolded at.
Two hours later they were all back at the station, Liv in an even less good mood than before but did her best to not take her frustration out on her detectives.
"Rollins, Amaro," she said, "you go first."
Nick shot Amanda a look to see if she wanted to speak but as usual she kept her eyes down.
"Okay," Nick said, "Lucy Davies, 31, went out last night with friend…" Nick searched his notepad for the name that had escaped him right now, "Constance Cerone. As previous victims just out during a week day to blow off steam after work. They ended up drinking a little more than planned and staying out a little longer than expected. Constance left a little before Lucy who was playing pool with some guys. She was hit on a lot but not out to bring someone home. She split up with a boyfriend of four years during the summer and not looking for anything new just yet. She decided to walk home, got about four blocks and then got jumped. She hadn't seen anyone follow her from the bar though but she admits not paying much attention to her surroundings. He had a knife that she describes just like the one our perp's been using. He wore gloves, had his hood up, made her lay down face forward and he used a condom. All she could tell was that he was white, had about an inch on her and that he felt heavy on top of her."
"She saw nothing of his face?" Liv asked just to make sure and Nick shook his head. Liv couldn't help but grunt loudly. She took a quick breath though and wised up, turning to Amanda.
"Injuries?" Liv asked and directed the question deliberately at her to get her involved.
"A slight cut on her neck but she didn't put up a fight, like with previous victims he said he would cut her throat if she struggled and she didn't doubt his sincerity so she complied," Amanda said. Liv just nodded. One of the earlier victims had fought and got stabbed as they struggled so they knew this perp was serious with his threats.
"And you?" Liv asked turning to Fin and Keith.
"Latest victim Talia Graham has gone upstate to her mom's place, she recalls nothing new," Fin answered and then Keith took over filling them in on how their meeting with the other two victims went. Just as their latest victim they had nothing new to add, all just barely physically healed but with a long road left to recovery.
So they had four women raped now by the same guy judging by the MO used. They were all in their thirties, out on a week day and attacked on their way home. He'd managed to rape all four of them and they figured he might have tried before, refined his method but so far any potential victims hadn't been able to give them anything new. Those that had escaped an assault had run for dear life, rightfully so, and hadn't caught a good look of their assailant.
Liv crossed her arms in front of her and watched the board with the four victims and the poor sketch of the perpetrator. 1PP had demanded action. She approached the map on the board. The four sights of attacks were all in a limited area, this guy hunted the same grounds and she toyed with the idea to just put patrol cars outside every bar but she knew that might just force him to find another area and bring up the number of innocent women attacked. But she also knew that as soon as the news of a serial roaming the streets hit media that would probably make him more careful and maybe relocate.
"We should trap him," Keith blurted out as he couldn't hold it in. He could tell their sergeant was probably thinking the same the way she circled the map with her finger. Liv turned to look at him with a somewhat startled look upon her face though.
"Look, he's hunting in a smaller area," Keith said gesturing towards the map and then lifted his hand towards the row of victims, "and we know what type of women he likes. It's not rocket science. We should be able to take him down."
Liv's eyes went up to the board again and her eyes travelled over the four victims.
"Bait me."
Liv spun around by the sound of Amanda's voice.
"You should bait me," she repeated when Liv just watched her, "I fit his bill."
Fin was shaking his head to Amanda's left but no one was watching him. All eyes were either on Amanda or Liv.
"I'm not sure…" Liv started but Amanda held up her hand in the air as she walked up to Liv and then passed her to get to the board.
"Blonde, thirties," she said gesturing up to the portraits. One of them were brunette but if you saw the more recent photos from the hospital you'd know she'd bleached her hair during the summer. When she learnt all the victims were blonde she might start to regret that decision just as much as she regretted walking home instead of taking a cab like everyone always adviced you to do.
"Use me serge," Amanda said staring Liv down, "You should use me."
Liv was still reluctant. Amanda hadn't worked undercover since what happened two years ago. She'd been back-up, sitting by a bar or in a lobby during stake-outs but never undercover. It wasn't that Liv didn't trust her but she was just fearful it was too much, that perhaps Amanda wouldn't handle it.
"We should let patrol cars drive around this part," Keith said walking up to the board and went behind Amanda so he could reach the map.
"Force him over this way," Keith ran his finger further south on the map, "have Rollins in one of the bars down here. We can even go in to the others, warn any blonde women in there and make Rollins the only blonde one out there for him to target."
Liv got a little annoyed that he started to plan the operation without her giving the go-ahead. Not that she minded initiative but she didn't like the thought of Amanda exposed like that. She'd been exposed enough for a lifetime but at the same time Liv knew it wasn't right to hold her back if she herself felt ready to put herself out there again.
"Hold on Winters," Liv said and made Keith quiet down as she directed her attention back at Amanda.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Liv asked. She immediately regretted not taking Amanda to the side to make sure this was her decision and not forced out of peer pressure or blind dedication. Amanda nodded but Liv still wasn't satisfied with the answer. She didn't get a chance to ask again though as Amanda spun around and told Keith to start over.
The chance that this perp would strike again for a third time this week wasn't that high but they didn't want to take the chance with an unsuspected victim out there. It was Thursday, still a week day which was his pattern. Keith's plan was good, he had a lot of experience from various operations with both SVU and Vice. He also had a past as a bartender at his uncle's bar so Liv posted him behind the bar at the place Amanda would go to later tonight. Liv had called in another detective Amanda's age to keep her company and act as her friend, she was biracial so would hopefully not be targeted but they would of course take precautions. Nick would be in the bar as well as just another customer while Fin and Liv sat outside listening in. Two other detectives would join them, one inside the bar and one outside in a plain car.
Fin was still on the fence but everything moved so hastily he just had to roll with it. If his partner and best friend would be out there it was important the plan was solid so he did his best to get his head in the game. Liv had sent Amanda down to their storage to pick out an outfit for the night. All the victims had been dressed for a night out on the town, in outfits the court surely would question if this case ever went to trial but Liv told Amanda to pick out something she felt comfortable wearing.
Liv was forced to send Fin and Nick out to check up on a lead in another case but they were back in good time before tonight's action. Liv checked in with them to find out what they'd found and then she asked Fin to step in to her office just briefly.
"Something up?" he asked with some worry to his voice as she closed the door behind them.
"I just wanted to…" she started but as she hadn't planned exactly how to ask she tried to come up with the rest as she walked around her desk. Once there though she froze as she faced him and a kind smile formed across her face. He smiled back but felt a little confused.
"Will she handle this?" she asked without losing her smile.
"She says she does," he said after a couple of missed beats. Liv's smile faded slightly.
"Yeah but I'm asking you if she will handle this," Liv said. Fin broke their gaze and sighed as he put his hands on one of her visitor's chair and let it carry some of his weight.
"We have to trust her," Fin said and faced Liv again. Liv's smile had faded completely and that concerned look was back on her face.
"She'll have us every step of the way," Fin said as he felt as though he needed to reassure her, perhaps reassure them both.
"We'll have her back," he said and shot Liv a smile. Liv nodded and was able to smile again. Fin walked out of her office after she'd asked him to check on his partner. Liv told him she was getting dressed in the bunks and also informed him she'd ordered dinner for them that would arrive shortly. Fin said he would fetch Amanda and walked down the hall.
He knocked softly on the door to the bunks and waited for her to give him the go-ahead. Once he heard her voice on the other side of the door he walked in.
"Wowsa," slipped out through his lips once he caught the looks of her and his eyes were far below hers. He shut the door without letting her go with his eyes.
"I'll take that as I pass," she chuckled slightly and spun back around towards the mirror to finish applying her mascara.
He was still checking out her bare, toned legs that looked sky high in the heels and short skirt she was in. His eyes wandered up her body as he approached her. She skirt was black, looked shiny and matched the material in the red top she was wearing. The top covered her back but the outline of her black bra shined through in this light. He figured that might be on purpose though. The sleeves were short with a split at the shoulder which made the fabric fall down on either side of her lean arm muscle. He liked seeing her with short sleeves and his eyes wandered down the soft skin on her arm all the way to where her hand was applying eye make-up.
He'd reached her by now and caught her eyes in the mirror as his hand landed on her bare shoulder. They smiled at each other as his fingers squeezed her fondly. His eyes went down the soft blonde curls that flow down her back. She'd put a pin on one side of her head that held the curls away from her face. He caught her reflection in the mirror again. He hadn't seen her in this make-up since…
He got an unsettling feeling in his gut as he recalled the last time he'd seen her like this. She hadn't been in a good place then.
"You okay?" she asked bringing him back to present. He quickly gave her a nod accompanied by a smile.
"You look great," he said as she walked over to the nearest bunk, "you feeling okay?"
"Yeah, yeah I do," she said and sounded honest enough. He watched her as she thread a pair of rather large hoops through her ears. He couldn't help but have a look down her cleavage as well. She'd left three buttons undone and her black bra peeked up in the gap. He caught her rolling her eyes at him but it only made his grin wider.
She slipped on a bunch of metal bracelets on one hand and then put just as many on her other.
"Will this cover them up some?" she asked putting down her arms so the bracelets fell down over her hands.
"I've told you already, you barely take notice of them," he reassured her, "and the lighting in there will be soft at best."
She didn't look as convinced but she straighten up her back as he walked over to her. He put a light finger on her chest and slowly let it wonder up her soft skin, let it slide along her collarbone and then up the side of her throat. His finger traced her jawline and then he took a soft grip around her chin. His eyes lingered on her red lips but then went up to catch her eyes.
"You could bait a blind eunuch," he smiled, "and we'll be right there with you."
He got a little serious looking as he continued;
"If you at any time feel uncomfortable you can call it off," he said and put a finger above her lip as she was about to object, "Any discomfort or bad gut feelings just let me know and I'll pull you out of there. Got it?"
He got her to nod and he hoped she knew no one would hold it against her if she wanted to quit.
"Okay, cover yourself up a bit or the guys won't be able to focus on any of the grub Liv's ordered for us. She wants us to sit down and eat as we go through the plan one last time," he said as he let her go. She chuckled but grabbed her hoodie from her locker, put it on and then zipped it all the way up.
"Where are you going to hide the wire?" he said on their way out with a grin as he leaned back to have a look at her backside.
"Oh don't you worry about that," she said slapping his arm to get him to turn his eyes forward.
Liv had set everything up in the interview room. It got crowded with everyone in there but they made it work. Amanda said hi to her date for the night, detective Angela Quan that was on loan from Vice. She was used to stings like this and had dressed the part. Fin meanwhile got a plate set for Amanda and as he handed it to her he offered Angela to make one for her too which she gladly accepted. Keith had hurried to shovel food in to his mouth as Liv had asked him to stand with her at the board while they went through tonight's events.
Liv made sure she had everyone's attention and then let Keith start them off. He would head over to the bar as soon as they were done in there and Nick would walk in right before Amanda and Angela went in and then sit by the bar during the night. Keith would make sure to serve them nonalcoholic drinks for the entire night. They planned to stick around for at least two hours. Angela would leave first and get picked up by the detective in the plain car to make sure she wasn't targeted. Amanda would head out soon thereafter and head down the same path as one of the previous victims.
The chance that he struck two nights in a row wasn't great but Liv made sure everyone knew to stay alert at all times. They planned to continue next week if tonight's efforts gave nothing. So far the perp hadn't struck on weekends and they hoped he stuck to his pattern at least on that note.
Once they were done Amanda managed to catch Keith before he headed out and just stepped to the side with him.
"The first drink," she said biting her lip slightly as she looked around to make sure no one was listening, "could you…"
"Just a splash of the real deal?" he asked and she nodded feeling relief that she didn't have to say it herself.
"No problem," he said giving her arm a squeeze. He shot her a smile and then headed out.
"Everything okay?" Liv said catching Amanda in the door to the interview room as she headed back inside. Amanda nodded eagerly.
"No qualms about doing this?" Liv asked. Amanda quickly shook her head.
"It would be nice to hear you say it," Liv smiled tilting her head slightly.
"No qualms," Amanda said and tried her best to give Liv a reassuring smile.
Liv felt like telling her that it was okay to call it off at any point but she feared Amanda would start to think then that she didn't trust her to pull this off and right now she figured Amanda needed all reinforcements she could gather so she kept quiet.
A tech guy took Amanda and Angela to the side and wired them. They would both wear devices that made the squad able to listen in and then earpieces that would make them able to hear any directives or information they might need during the night.
Amanda and Angela showed up at the bar in perfect time for after work just as previous victims had. Amanda felt tense, seeing Keith behind the bar and Nick sitting by the bar didn't ease her tension. Angela played her part well though and guided Amanda towards the bar, shielding her from the many suits that they had to pass to get there.
"What can I get your lovely ladies tonight?" Keith smiled as they landed on a chair each.
"Two of whatever gets us started the quickest and then keep 'em coming sweetheart," Angela said loudly and with a bright smile across her face. Keith winked at her and then walked away to get them their drinks.
Angela put a soft hand on Amanda's arm having caught her staking the place out and Amanda blushed slightly as she turned her attention to her company. Angela leaned in close to her ear and said;
"Let's at least have fun doing this."
She had that bright smile still on her face as she connected with Amanda's eyes again. Keith came back to them and he locked eyes with Amanda as he pushed one of the glasses closer to her. She shot him a smile and then hurried to grab the glass appointed to her.
"Just give me a wave when you're ready for the next round," he said.
"Oh you'll hear me hollering sweet cheeks," Angela teased and Keith looked very amused as he went to serve another customer.
Angela quickly turned her attention back to Amanda and raised her glass at her. They put their glasses together and then had a taste of what Keith had served them. Amanda could taste the slight splash of alcohol and instantly felt a little more at ease. You can do this.
It didn't take long until a small group consisting of three well groomed men with ties loosen at their necks had joined them by the bar. Angela engaged them in a little small talk when Amanda remained quiet. One of the men was leaning on the back of Amanda's chair coming so close she thought she could feel the heat from his body and whenever he had a taste of his drink he brushed up against her hair. She had a hard time focusing on anything except his proximity and she'd downed her entire drink.
Angela introduced herself and Amanda while Amanda tried to catch Keith's attention. She ignored one of the guys as he extended a hand towards her and she instead leaned across the bar signaling Keith. She pierced her eyes in him and he gave her a nod. She sat down hoping he got her meaning.
"Eager to get drunk tonight?" she heard the man behind her whisper close to her ear.
"Not different from any other night," she said over her shoulder. The man chuckled but Amanda had a hard time even smiling. She felt some relief when Keith came over carrying two glasses. He put one down by Angela's still half full glass and then slid the other one over at Amanda.
"Thanks," she said hurrying to put the glass up to her lips. She shot him an appreciating glance over the rim of the glass as she felt the touch of alcohol in her drink. You can do this.
"She's uncomfortable," Fin said out in the van and got up on his feet putting his hands on top of his head. He sighed heavily. They had a live feed from a surveillance camera behind the bar and Fin had seen Amanda struggle since she entered the bar. He knew she disliked close circuits, she probably felt cramped in there and all he wanted was to pull her out.
"Give her time," Liv said keeping her eyes on the monitor.
"So what do you ladies do when you're not out getting drunk and chatting up strange men in a bar?" the guy next to Angela asked. Since Angela had been doing most the talking so far the question was directed at her but she looked to Amanda and Amanda knew she had to get her head in the game.
"She's a receptionist," Amanda said smiling, "and I'm a secretary."
"What kind of secretary?" the guy behind her asked. She shot him a look over her shoulder.
"The slutty kind," she said unfolding her legs only to fold them the other way, "but I actually can type."
That earned her chuckles, both in the bar and one out in the van.
An hour later they were joined by a second group of guys out after work having a drink and blowing of a little steam. The first group had left after they'd realized there would be no hooking up with these two ladies tonight. Amanda had played her part well, acted interested and willing until a hand landed on her thigh or crept up her side and then she'd backed up only to gone back to teasing just enough to wear them down.
Angela and Amanda had talked a little, laughed out loud at nothing specific and flirted a little with Keith as he came up with another round for them. The next group that came up to them started out a little larger but soon there were only two guys left. They suggested a game of pool and Amanda happily accepted for both of them. Amanda felt Nick's eyes on her as she walked by him and she also felt the hand of the guy walking right behind her slide down a little too low on her backside. She wasn't sure it was okay for her to enjoy the touch as much as she did or this little game she played. Being able to tease and then to say no, to put a stop to it gave her a little rush. She liked feeling in control.
Playing pool proved itself hard though since she didn't want to risk them seeing the ugly scars on her hands. So she made a very hasty and poor shot and then left the game to Angela and her guy as she retreated to a table nearby with her guy. She kept up the shameless flirting but kept pulling back whenever the guy got too close. He asked her what she wanted to drink when her glass became empty and she told him the cute bartender would know her preference.
While he was gone she went back to Angela and the pool table where she soon was joined by another few faces out to socialize and perhaps a little more.
Meanwhile Nick and the rest of the crew had tried to spot any suspicious movement in the bar. They saw plenty of guys paying both Amanda and Angela attention, could be they were just loud at times or the fact the count of males in this bar highly outnumbered the females. Liv checked in with both Keith and Nick if they had anything but she got a negative response from both of them. They saw nothing out of the ordinary.
Keith got called over by a guy at the bar and walked over hoping he hadn't caught him talking in to his arm watch like a secret spy or something.
"The pretty blonde by the pool table told me you'd know what she wants," the guy said leaning over the bar a little.
"Oh I think we both know what she wants right?" Keith winked, making the guy snort as he started to chuckle. Nick was in hearing range though and Keith caught the stern look he shot him.
"And what can I get for the gentleman?" Keith asked a bit more refined.
"Oh I'm no gentleman but get me a beer thanks," the guy smiled as he turned to lean on the bar as he waited to be served.
The guy pushed his way through a few suitors as he came back to Amanda and handed her the drink. She thanked him but he'd lost his chance as she now was focused on another guy. After a while Angela cut in to the conversation Amanda was having with a guy who was bragging about how many famous clients he had sold houses to. Amanda was only happy to be asked to escort her "friend" to the little girl's room. They guy told her to hurry back to him and she flashed him a smile over her shoulder as they made their way over to the bathrooms.
Amanda stumbled on a slight ledge that took them in to a hallway that lead down to the toilets. Angela already had her arm hooked underneath Amanda's in a way you often saw girlfriends and she caught her even though Amanda was far from tripping over.
"You okay there?" Angela asked a bit worryingly though catching Amanda's eyes. Amanda nodded but realized she had to wise up a little. She did feel a little buzz even though she was pretty sure Keith had only given her just the splash of real deal she'd asked him for.
"You sure?" Angela asked as they reached the ladies bathroom.
"I'm sure," Amanda said trying to sound reassuring and then let Angela go as she went through the door. Amanda went in to one of the stalls as she suddenly felt the need to actually use the toilet and Angela had a look underneath the other two stall doors to make sure they were alone in there.
"I was thinking of heading out in a little while," Angela said as she washed her hands just cause she felt like it.
"Okay," Amanda answered from behind the door. She hoped her voice didn't give away any of the apprehension she felt by the notion of being left alone. Even though she'd handled one-on-one conversations during the night it had still felt good seeing Angela there nearby. She tried to focus on the fact Nick would still be around, and Keith was behind the bar.
"You won't be alone though," she heard Angela say through the door just as though she'd been able to read her mind.
"I know," she said as she flushed. She made sure her skirt was properly down before she stepped out. Angela was facing her as she stepped out, leaning against the sinks.
"I'll be outside as well, we have your back," Angela said a little quieter when Amanda stepped up next to her to wash her hands. Amanda shot her a quick sideway glance and a brief smile to acknowledge her. She knew they would but it still didn't make her less nervous. She would leave this bar alone. Someone might be stalking her and that someone might put a knife against her throat and push her to the ground with the intent to rape her. She couldn't do this.
"Ready?" Angela asked as she handed Amanda a paper towel from the wall. Amanda nodded, doing her best to smile and then they went outside again. Angela's arm was back underneath her arm and Amanda tried to soak some of that security Angela seemed to radiate. Angela took them back to the bar just so they could make one last order and then they made their way to another corner of the bar just so they could make sure everyone in the bar had seen them.
It didn't take long until some of the guys from around the pool table had tracked them down again though. They engaged in conversation with them again and Amanda found herself sliding back to that place where she quite enjoyed having the power to set her own boundaries. She was sitting almost back to back with Angela, both engaged with at least one guy on their side.
Too soon though she felt Angela's hand caressing the side of her arm.
"I really have to head out now sweetie," Angela mused as Amanda turned to face her.
"Already?" Amanda said acting a little disappointed, pouting her lower lip to add to the act.
"I know but I got a busy day tomorrow Mands," Angela said giving her a hug, "and Patric is picking me up."
"You want a lift or are you sticking around?" Angela asked when she let her go.
"I might…" Amanda threw a quick look over her shoulder only to get eyes on two guys looking a little like two eager pups down by a dinner table and she couldn't help but giggle in a way that wasn't an act but that she hoped she could sell as an act to the one listening in.
"Might just stick around for a bit," Amanda said turning back thinking she heard a cheer behind her but wasn't sure if it was just her imagination.
"Okay sweetie, talk to you tomorrow?" Angela said as she stood up but then waited to get a nod from her before she took off.
"Nice talking to you, take good care of her you hear," Angela winked at the guys as she took to the door. She would stay right outside the door until the plain car picked her up. Angela looked nothing like previous victims but they still had to make sure she wasn't targeted.
"So tell my mate here about that time you caught your boss in the copy room," the guy next to Amanda said and he gestured to a new face that had joined them.
"You're going to love this," he said to his mate.
"You really get off on dirty stories don't you," Amanda smiled cheekily at him.
"When you tell them," he countered, rubbing up against her arm as his hand once again rested right by her ass on the seat.
She took to the bar not long thereafter just to get away from the somewhat slimy guy and the hand that wouldn't stop connecting with her ass even though she constantly removed it or herself from it. A guy stalked her over to the bar, talking her ear off as she pretended to settle the tab with Keith. She handed him her card knowing he wouldn't charge it but just to act like he would.
"Don't tell me you're leaving already," another guy said coming up on her other side.
"Afraid so," she said pouting her lips a little, "Will you miss me?"
"I wouldn't have to if you let me take you somewhere a little quieter," the guy suggested and Amanda giggled throwing her head back a little.
"Sorry but no," she said instantly making the guy's face drop, "maybe I'll see you around though? I like this place, might be back."
"Might?" the guy said disappointed, "Give me your number so we can make sure."
She had to give it to him, he was being a little charming and he had the eyes to match it. So far she'd been taking numbers and not giving any but she figured it couldn't hurt to break the routine in case someone was watching her. Keith came back with her card and she asked him for a pen.
"Give me your arm," she said to the guy once she had the pen in her hand. He quickly folded his shirt up and gave her what she wanted. She scribbled down random numbers on his hairy arm and ended the row with a somewhat crooked heart. He smiled looking at her scribble and she felt a little bad deceiving him. But he was cute, he would score again. He looked like he wanted to give her hand a kiss in a very gentlemanly way but fearing he would see her scar then she instead leaned in and gave his cheek a kiss. She could feel him trying to turn his mouth closer to hers but she'd already left him when he was able to. He still smiled though and played with his eyebrows, patted his arm and then walked back to his friends.
"What about me?" the guy to her left, that she'd completely forgotten about, said with a sullen look.
"You'll be okay," she said patting his cheek and then she turned to Keith and close to hollered a 'thank you and good night'.
Keith gave her a wave as he hung some newly washed glasses above the bar but his eyes were focused on anyone that might be leaving the bar behind her. Nick was also keeping his eyes open. Fin had gotten out of the van across the street from the bar and was waiting in the dark alley next to it. Nick would also leave the bar a couple of minutes after Amanda and be ready on foot in case the perp attacked her.
Amanda stepped out in to the somewhat cool air. She liked the slight breeze but needed the air to be chillier if it would bring her body temperature down. The breeze took a hold of her skirt and she whisked it down quickly. She tried to find Fin in the shadows across the street, knowing he was really there would calm her she was sure but her eyes couldn't descry him. You can do this.
She got pulled from her thoughts by someone stumbling in to her. She hadn't moved away from the door and was in the middle of the way so she couldn't be cross on whoever it was. He immediately blurted out an excuse and when she turned her head she recognized him from the bar earlier.
"Change your mind?" he smiled but continued when she looked puzzled, "Going back inside again?"
Her face broke in to a smile as she shook her head.
"Nah, calling it a night," she said taking a step further out to the curb.
"Where you heading? Want to share a cab?" he asked stepping right out after her. She gave him a look, his jacket had a hood but it didn't look like the type of hood the victims had described. She let her eyes wander up to the starry night. She felt a slight chill go up her back but still didn't feel like putting on her jacket.
"No I think I'll take a walk in what might be one of the last warm nights we'll get," she smiled. He raised his eyebrows.
"That's one brave woman, challenging the harsh street of New York."
"I think I can handle it," she said giving him one last look before she started her walk down the road. Part of her wanted this guy to follow her. If he was the one her surveillance would easily pick him up and the moment he pulled the hood up and went for something in his pocket they would surely jump in.
"Fin's on foot, you got two cars following you." She heard Liv's voice in her ear. She took a deep breath and just concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other. She had to act casual, stay away from the dark corners along the street but still act casual. You can do this.
It was rare that you ever felt alone in New York City. She couldn't remember a time when she'd ever felt lonely while out on the streets. Perhaps when walking down to that shady part of Far Rockaway where Gordon had stashed her. But there had been people around, it was just she'd felt so very alone then, like she had no one. Now she had Fin somewhere across the street, surely keeping his eyes on her. Liv was in the van, another couple detectives in plain cars following her. She wasn't alone but yet the street felt empty, like every shadow, every creepy sound that sneaked up on her was out to get her. Wanted to devour her. Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come.
Amanda jumped by a ruckus coming from within the alley she just passed. It sounded like a pile of cans tumbling to the ground. Her heart jumped from an already high 100 to at least 120 and she caught herself close to hyperventilating.
"No one's following you. Just stay alert." Liv's voice in her ear again and Amanda tried to get a grip. She straighten up and moved back to the middle of the sidewalk again, away from the curb she'd almost stumbled down from. She wished she could see Fin but he was lost in whatever shadow he was hiding in. Be sober, be vigilant.
There was a row of cars coming up and she felt as though she moved in to a funnel, this would be a perfect place for him to strike. Anyone on the other side of the road wouldn't see her go down. But maybe he waited for the exact point where he'd attacked victim number two? She was just a block away. She knew the place well, she'd help search the place as she arrived just as the ambulance drove the victim away. She recalled the blood spill on the pavement, the victim's pants thrown to the side like some dirty rag. He didn't take trophies. Why didn't he take trophies? Most serials did. He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.
She realized she'd passed the parked cars without getting jumped but then her heart beat rose again as she caught sight of the crime scene up ahead. Get your head in the game Amanda. He could be waiting there. But then how could he have been at the bar? Surely he couldn't know she was going to walk this exact way? She tried to see through the shadows of that small courtyard. Was he watching her? The evil deeds of a wicked…
She spun around quickly as a sound echoed down the street again. She gasped for air as she thought she felt a present in front of her instead and she spun back around quickly. Too quickly, and she almost lost her balance. No one was in front of her, no one was in that courtyard, she could see through the shadows now. She took a deep breath and tried to focus ahead. She wished for Liv's reassuring voice in her ear telling her no one was following. Or that she wasn't making an ass of herself jumping at shadows. She could scare this beast off if she acted weird. None of the other victims had felt scared on their way home, none have feared the darkness or the potential threat walking home alone. She was ruining this.
For a short second she'd spaced out and forgot where she was headed and she almost took the wrong turn but caught herself at the last second. A group of intoxicated people came down the street, heading for her. The sound of their voices and wobbly walk told her they were intoxicated. They all greeted her as they passed her and one guy grabbed her hands and took her for a short spin. She smiled, relaxed for a second but then tensed up as soon as the guy had left her to continue on her way.
"There's a man approaching from behind." Amanda heard Liv say just as she turned to keep walking down the street. She tried to keep walking casually. She hadn't seen anyone as she'd looked back at the group that just passed her. How could she have missed that?
"He could be the one, stay alert Amanda." Liv said in to her ear and Amanda moved a little more towards the curb as she kept walking. She focused her eyes forward but kept listening for sounds behind her. It didn't take long until she felt the presence behind her. She couldn't hear his footsteps but a light at the corner made his long shadow fluttered over the wall next to her. A car passed and she lost track of him. The next second the figure passed her and kept walking. She kept walking too, expected him to perhaps turn back around once the car was out of sight. He had a hood up but both his face and hair had been visible and she'd gotten a good look at him. He didn't look like a thug but she'd learnt the boy next door could be a vicious killer and the decent school teacher could be a sadistic rapist. Evil lingered everywhere.
The young man turned the same corner she was going and Amanda saw one of their own cars pass and drive ahead. For the first time she spotted Fin moving a little hastier on the other side of the street as he too tried to get ahead to see if the man would be waiting. He disappeared back in to the shadows further up but she felt safer just knowing he was really there.
"He wasn't the one. Stay alert though." Liv came back to her. Amanda wasn't sure just how they'd been able to rule the man out but she didn't doubt them and focused on the staying alert part. She only had two more blocks to go. She thought she'd really wanted to catch this guy but suddenly it became about making it to the finish line. It felt as though she was playing a game and with the simple task of making it unharmed to the goal.
Her heart pounded harder those last two blocks, she had to remind herself to keep walking and not to rush. Every shadow turned to figures out to get her. She couldn't hear anything but her own breathing and her thoughts got close to ridiculous as bizarre images popped up in her mind on ways the game would find a way to destroy her. Not until she reached the door and was able to close it behind her did the craziness stop. She hurried further in and the moment she was out of sight from the street she pressed her back against a wall trying to get her breathing back to normal without panting.
"Stay put Amanda. Fin will come get you." Liv said in to her ear as Amanda pressed her palms against the cool wall behind her. It didn't take long until she heard the gate open and close.
"Amanda?" Fin called out.
"In here," Amanda breathed and forced herself to leave the wall. She barely made it off the wall before Fin popped up around the corner.
"You okay?" he asked thinking she looked pale in the poor lighting. She nodded.
"Wish we'd hooked him though," she said trying to sound more disappointed than she felt.
"There was only a slim chance he'd be out two nights in a row," Fin said as he grabbed a hold of her arm and squeezed it gently.
"Liv's waiting downstairs for us," he let her know and then guided her towards the stairs.
Liv had told the driver of the van to drive down in to the garage and as planned they were waiting for Fin and Amanda as they got down there. Liv had gotten out and waited with the back door open for them.
"Everything okay?" she asked even before they reached the car. Fin nodded.
"Yeah," Amanda said, "sorry I couldn't hook him."
"It's not your fault, you did great," Liv said touching Amanda's arm softly when she got close enough. Liv tried to hold her eyes but Amanda turned her head down.
"Hey," Liv said demanding her to look back up, "it's not your fault." She said it so sincerely Amanda couldn't doubt her and she nodded to let Liv know she got it.
Amanda jumped in to the van ahead of Liv and Fin got in last. Liv told the driver he could take off again once she'd seen Amanda taken a seat.
"Any word from the street? Any reports of assaults elsewhere?" Amanda asked once Liv had a seat as well. Liv shook her head.
"Nothing so far and I've got extra patrol cars circling the area now. My guess he stayed in tonight. Are you up for trying again on Monday?" Liv asked and Amanda nodded quickly. She figured Liv couldn't be all disappointed with her if she asked her to go out again.
"Good," Liv smiled and then asked them if they wanted a ride home or to be dropped at the station where Fin's car was still parked. Fin looked at Amanda but then decided that they would accept the ride home. It was not that late but Amanda looked a little bushed so he made the decision for them. Liv paid a visit to the driver again to give him Fin's address. Liv checked in with Nick and asked him to handle the rest of the operatives. She also let him know they would give this another shot on Monday night and to inform the others that they were more than welcome to join them again if they wanted to.
Fin meanwhile helped Amanda get out of her wires. Once they were done Amanda got her jacket on.
"You cold?" Fin asked but Amanda shook her head.
"Jacket's fine," she said.
They were soon outside Fin's building and Liv sent them off with a 'good job' and 'come in a little later tomorrow'. Fin said good night while Amanda stuck to just giving her a smile as she hugged her jacket a little closer around herself.
"You look cold," Fin said as they walked up to the door and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders.
"I'm fine," Amanda said rolling her eyes at him and pushed his arm away firmly but then gave him a look so he'd know she still appreciated his concern.
"Fine was never in question," he said giving her a cheeky look and his eyes went down her body when she shot him a look. She chuckled but just continued towards the elevator.
"So how did that feel?" he asked once they were inside their apartment. She'd ducked down on the floor to get out of her heels, the strap around her ankle was a little tricky. She looked up, a little confused by his question.
"It's the first time you've been… well you know since…" he was a little relieved she seemed to get it without him really having to say it. She shrugged slightly as she went back to undoing one of the straps.
"It felt okay," she said a bit evasive. He hung his jacket and then went in ahead of her.
"You seemed okay," he said, raising his voice a little so she would hear him, "Eased in to all of it just fine."
"You really think so?" she asked following him inside once her shoes were off and she'd hung her jacket next to his.
"Yeah," he said convincingly and faced her as she entered the kitchen. He'd opened up the fridge and she sneaked in under his arm and grabbed a soda from within.
"It was…" he said watching his words a little, "…nice seeing you relaxed, and fun to hear you interact like that."
"Like a total tease," she said. He got a little worried she'd taken it wrong but she had a smile on her face as he faced her. She'd poured some of the soda in a glass and handed him the can. He closed the fridge and took it from her.
"So you had a little fun doing it, I'm glad," he said and walked in to the living room to turn the TV on. He sat down in the middle of the couch with a heavy sigh and managed to spill some soda over himself. He just wiped it off though and got the TV on before he had a taste.
Amanda watched him from the kitchen while slowly drinking from her glass. She did have fun tonight. She'd freaked out a few times but in-between she did have fun. She put her empty glass in the sink, grabbed her phone off the counter and walked over to him. She got up on the couch arm and made sure there were no new texts or other incoming messages. She took a deep breath of relief and looked over at the TV screen instead. Fin was watching some basketball game and any other day it might have caught her attention too but not tonight.
"I'm gonna go take a shower," she said and he gave her a careless 'aha' without looking at her. She left her phone on the table and walked down the hall. She found herself tip toeing down, her hands swiping down her skirt. She liked that skirt, she liked how the shiny material felt against her skin and how it made her legs look long and pretty. She felt pretty in it. It did give perhaps a little too easy access to her but she didn't really mind that either.
Once inside the bathroom she caught herself smiling as she saw her own reflection in the mirror. Her hand went up to her hair and she dragged her fingers a little through it. Not too much though, she liked the curls, thought about not washing her hair so they would still be there in the morning. Her makeup was still in place and her fingers went swiftly over her lips.
Her eyes stayed on her face for a while. She didn't mind what she saw. She didn't look slutty, she thought she just looked rather… pretty. Her eyes wandered down her neck, to her collarbone that peeked out thanks to the undone buttons in her blouse. Her bra shined through the red fabric but she just chuckled slightly at the thought that she might've looked a little slutty after all.
Her fingers ran down her own breast, lingered a little right above her nipple and felt it tense up a little. She caught her eyes in the mirror though and quickly let her hand dropp down to the washbowl where the other one was already resting. She swallowed hard watching her own reflection again. She separated her lips slightly, tried a smile. She shouldn't be so hard on herself. Doctor Olivet's words echoed through her head.
"It's okay to feel okay Amanda. It's even okay for you to feel happy. Your sister won't judge you for feeling happy. Don't you think she would want you to be happy?"
Amanda turned away from the mirror and walked back down the hall. She hesitated at the corner but then took just one step around it. He didn't sense her presence at first so she took another tiny step, still not far enough for her hand to drop from where it rested on the wall right by the corner.
Someone missed a foul shot in the game and Fin grunted, his head going her way as he rolled his eyes and he caught her figure out of the corner of her eye.
"I thought you were taking a shower," he said looking straight at her. She didn't answer and his eyes narrowed. She knew he was waiting for her to say or do something.
"I liked the way I looked in this," she said letting the wall go so her hand could go down her blouse and skirt.
"I liked the way you looked in that too," he said but with a slight hesitation to his voice.
"Someone said I had great legs," she said taking a step closer to him.
"You do have great legs," he said, without any hesitation this time and he sat up a little straighter on the couch. Her eyes had gone down her own body and she'd started wiping down her skirt like she'd done before. Fin leaned over so he could place his can on the table. He wasn't really sure what was going on right now and it made him feel a little uneasy.
"So I thought I would just stay in this moment for a little while longer," she suddenly blurted out and her eyes popped up again, "that's not wrong is it?"
He slowly shook his head and he turned a little on the couch so he could get a better view of her. She'd grabbed a hold of her skirt and lifted it slightly as she tip toed further in to the room. He reminded her a little of someone that felt dressed up. Perhaps of a little girl pretending she was something she wasn't. No he didn't see anything wrong in her staying in that moment for a little longer, for her to feel good and a little bit carefree for a while longer.
His eyes came back up from those legs of hers, his aim had been her eyes but his got caught on her mouth as she was wetting her lips in a way he found very erotic. Her tongue flickered out over them, her lip disappeared underneath that perfect row of white tees and then the tongue came out again. The saliva left on her lips made them look even redder and they shinned in the soft light of the room.
He wanted to ask her to come over to him but he wasn't sure he should or even if he would be able to utter the words as his throat felt a little clogged up. His heart started pounding even harder though as she started to make her way over to him. He straighten up on the couch, placed himself forward again and he placed his hands to the side as she got her knee up on the couch next to one of his legs. She was still holding on to her skirt and lifted it up slightly so she could get her other knee up on the other side of him. He wasn't sure where to rest his eyes, those legs, what was hidden just underneath that skirt's hem, that bra shining through her top, all those blonde curls, that tooth biting down into that wet lower lip of hers, those intense eyes between sultry eyelashes. Too much good placed on top of him all at once.
His hands couldn't stay still on the couch and he swiped them along her calves as soon as she'd sat down on top of him. He let them go down her legs again, afraid that if he went further he wouldn't be able to restrain himself. His head rested against the couch giving him a perfect view of her. The light shined through her hair, and through that sheer blouse of hers. She was on fire, yellow and red glowing around her.
"I liked being a tease," she whispered and it made something stir inside of him from the bottom of his feet up all the way to the top of his head. He felt flushed, blood pumping hard and fast to various parts of his body.
Her hands went up his chest, got to his neck and snaked around it with soft but craving fingers. Her eyes went back and forth from his mouth to his eyes. He could tell her breathing was strained, her chest raising and falling heavily.
"The everything but girl," she whispered, her mouth now so close to his he felt the warm breath over his already flustered skin.
He couldn't help it as his hands wandered further up. Fingertips with a slight hint of nails dragged up over her thighs, disappearing underneath her skirt. He couldn't reach her ass without bending forward and right now he didn't dare to move so his hands stayed on each side of her. His palms spread out over her warm skin, big enough paws to have some of his fingers curl in underneath her.
She let out another heavy breath and the air filled his mouth as his lips were now slightly parted. He feared she would pull away, that this would be another failed attempt and that he at any moment would lose this heavenly creature plumped up on his lap. He was even more fearful he wouldn't be able to let her go though, that he would crave more than she could give and that his body would take over his mind. He couldn't let that happen and he started to let his hands run down her legs again, coming back to her knees.
But then her mouth was suddenly on his, her hands around his cheeks as she pressed herself hard against him and then her tongue came out to play. He let her in and pressed himself just as hard up against her. His hands quickly went up her legs again and when his hands were around her butt cheeks he pushed her further up against all of him. He heard and felt the gasp that escaped her but she didn't let him go. Her hands snaked around his neck again, caressing his skin and up over the back of his head.
He held her tight, enjoyed the slight movement in her hip that rubbed up against him if even so slightly. He massaged her butt cheeks, tried to keep from pushing her further down on top of him. Her pace, he reminded himself.
Her mouth wasn't holding anything back tonight though. Her tongue found every cavity in his mouth, played around his and she invited his inside her by latching on to it and sucking it in. When she finally needed air, both of them did, she was the one that pushed his head down over her neck and it was her hands pressing him against her as his lips and tongue played around over her sensitive skin. One of his hands went up over her back, helping her stay upright as she arched her back and made him follow her forward.
She pushed him further down, his teeth made a visit to her collarbone before his mouth continued further down that modest cleavage of hers. His lips and teeth played with the fabric that was in his way. Another button in her blouse broke free and now it was only the fabric in the bra between his mouth and that hard knob on top of that bulge. The fabric was so sheer though he decided to not bother with it and just let his tongue flicker over her nipple a few times before he draped it with his entire mouth, soaking up the fabric as he sucked hard.
She gasped again and he had to really hold her up as she fell even further backwards. She'd soon found her bearing though and pressed herself up against him again. Feeling she still had the desire he quickly moved over to her other bulge and this time used his teeth to really tease her nipple. The gasp became a slight whimper this time and he switched his teeth for his lips to make the sensation less painful. He felt her nails dig in to his back as his mouth gave this nipple the same treatment as the other one. He left the fabric damp as he started his way up her neck. He bit down on the vein in her neck but then came up to meet her mouth again.
The kiss got passionately instantly as they sucked each other's air. Her tongue was rough and demanding, her nails more frequent over his back. She suddenly viciously pushed him back down against the couch and he feared for a moment it was time to quit but instead her hands grabbed for his tee and he helped her get it off by raising his hands in the air as soon as she had a good grip on his tee. He watched her face meanwhile, her eyes were focused on the task at hand but he saw desire all over her face and couldn't help but smile.
Her lips crashed down on his chest, immediately attacking one of his nipples. He briefly put his head back, closed his eyes as he enjoyed the feeling of her mouth, tongue and teeth playing with him and her hands roaming over his entire chest, every now and then digging down her nails in a most delightful way. He had to look at her though and got up, his hand finding its way into that head of blonde curls while her mouth continued tasting different parts of his chest. His other hand found its way up her skirt again, softly caressing her thigh with his fingertips on the way up and his nails on the way down again.
She soon came up to his mouth again and she climbed a little further up on him, making her sit right on top of the evident bulge in his pants. Her mouth wasn't as eager this time, her tongue and lips mostly playing on the outside of his mouth. Their eyes connected, they were still a little too close to clearly be able to focus on each other but he could clearly see her red cheeks and, even though it was slightly less evident, he still saw desire across her face.
"I don't want to be just a tease," she whispered and he wasn't sure if it was her steaming hot breath or her words that sent shivers through his entire body. The hand that had been in her hair came forward and cupped her cheek. He caressed her cheek fondly while their mouths kept having small tastes of each other.
He wasn't sure what to say. He didn't want that either. God he didn't want that. Right now his entire body screamed for her, why couldn't he let her know that? But she surely most know already. She must be able to feel just how much his body wanted her right now. He knew she knew, really knew, once her fingers started to slowly feel their down between them. He held her eyes, their mouths just resting next to each other and it felt as both of them held their breaths with anticipation of what would come next.
She made the passage over him with her fingers and then he felt her palm press down against him. He had to take a breath as she slowly stroked down his member. It was a long, stumbling breath that along with his intense eyes gave away just how much he longed for her. Once her hand folded around him though he could tell her face lost some of that courage she seemed to have scrambled up from somewhere. She kept stroking him but her touch felt insecure and it reminded him of someone doing something for the first time. He felt her lip shiver and knew he had to do something, he couldn't let her force herself through this.
He grabbed her wrist gently, tried to pull her hand back up but then her face got stubborn and she made a slight objective whine. He let his lips brush up against hers though, to silence her but also cause he felt like kissing her again.
"Let me…" he whispered. Her face got a little puzzled but her hand lost fight and he was able to bring it up to his chest.
"Let me touch you," he explained, stroking the back of her hand where it now rested on his chest. She swallowed hard. He caught her lips again, this time a little harder and gave her a proper kiss. Once he opened his eyes again hers were still open, gazing tentative at him.
"Will you let me touch you?" he asked needing her consent. He had a hard time reading her face, she looked reluctant but still willing somehow. And then she nodded carefully. He raised his eyebrow slightly, his entire face asking for further approval and she started nodding a little more assertive. He tried to contain his smile and to do so kissed her again. Her body had become a little stiff so his plan was to lure her a little. He intensified the kiss quickly, making her heart and breath pick up speed again. He engaged her tongue in a little hide-and-seek. Her hands were around his neck again, his hands by her midsection. He let one hand sneak up between them and he caressed one of her breasts. Gently at first but he soon got a little rougher, squeezing it a little harder and playing with her nipple that quickly had tensed up again.
He made a little pause in the kissing as his hand slowly made its way down between them. He didn't want to spring anything on her but as soon as he knew she was aware of where he was going he started kissing her again hoping to distract her a little from the momentous threshold they were about to pass.
For two years anything below her waist had been off limits, any slight attempt to pass or just a hint of pressure between her legs and she'd gone to that dark and paralyzing place. He knew there was still a risk he would push her there but something felt different, something made her feel ready and he knew that if he could just bring her pleasure once it might open up this massive knot she seemed to be carrying.
He gave the decision whether or not to start outside or go straight inside her panties just a second's thought and then carefully but decidedly let his fingers run down the inside of the fabric. He let his other hand rest on her lower back and he held her mouth with his as he let all of his fingers run over her. He kept them flat against her, just let his hand go back and forth a few times giving some pressure to her entire core. He could feel she was wet, he felt happy she was wet and started kissing her again.
He could tell by the lack of participation in her lips that her focus was elsewhere, somewhere further south but she let him play with her mouth as well. His hand made another motion in between her legs and this time he let a single finger slide through her folds. He caught the slight gasp with his mouth and latched on to her lips as he made a second visit between her folds. Her lips shivered slightly but when his mouth got hesitant she caught it herself and her tongue came out to get his going again.
He started moving his hand faster between her legs, stayed between her folds the entire time now. God she was wet. He stayed outside her though, just teased slightly whenever he passed her opening, and kept focus on her clit.
She'd wrapped her arms tighter around his neck now, pressing herself even further up against him and moving her hip slightly against his hand. He could feel her reaction to his touch, her clit getting more swollen with every stroke. He felt a desire to go down on her, wanted to taste her but he knew it was too early to push for more so he just kept the motion going.
She just kept her mouth mostly open as she needed to breathe but every now and then she engage in something his tongue or teeth did. He felt as though they'd reached a bit of a ledge, she was still panting, enjoying, desiring, but she'd stopped climbing so he dared to move over to her opening. He circled it, dipped part of his finger inside, took a few turns on her clit and then went back. He used a single finger, let it half way in, pulled it out and then started over again. He added a second finger after a while, let her adjust and then worked those two fingers in and out.
When he was sure she was still enjoying his actions he started curling his fingers whenever he was inside of her. He could feel a slight pickup in her breathing again, her hip started moving against his hand again and he started to see a finish line. Not that he was in any hurry but he wanted nothing else but to bring her over that edge.
He realized he was almost bursting out of his pants as well and he couldn't help but smile as he figured he might just come out of making her come. That would be a first for him if that happened and it got him even more excited. He increased speed, used his free hand to push her down on him so he could put pressure on her clit with every entry.
They were both covered with a coat of sweat now, her hands slipping a little around his neck as she tried to come even closer to him. He put his face by her neck needing to breathe. He loved her scent, her warmth, the way she felt. The most delightful tiny sounds escaped her throat with every gasp she made and they'd increased and deepen now. He felt she wasn't far off and all she needed was to let herself go. His mouth searched its way up her neck, got behind her ear and he used his tongue in that spot he knew she liked.
He felt her tense up and he thought she might be at the brink but instead he felt her pull away slightly.
"No, no," he whispered holding on to her. Her hands came down to his chest, both holding on to him but at the same time pushing him away. He tried to catch her mouth but she turned her head away slightly. He thought she was rejecting him but then he realized her eyes were searching for something behind her back and that's when he spotted the lit up screen on her phone. It buzzed like it did when she'd received a text.
"It's okay," he whispered thinking she'd just got disturbed and they could get back to what they were trying to achieve here. He'd kept his hand on her the entire time but lost some speed so he picked it up again. She let out a whimper though that made it sound like she was in pain.
"Just stay with me," he whispered trying to get to her mouth again.
"We're so close," he whispered as he started kissing her again. But she was pulling away and then her phone buzzed again.
"For f…" he complained, angry on whomever it was texting and pulling her focus away from him. He made one last attempt to keep her there but he knew the moment was lost and he let her step off him. She pulled her skirt down quickly, arranging her panties through it and then reached for her phone on the table. He reached for his tee, used it to wipe his hand on as he watched her.
"Who's texting you?" he asked when he saw her frown. Her eyes came up a little but never all the way up to meet his and then she just shook her head a little as her eyes went back to the screen. He couldn't take his eyes off her. Her lips were swollen, cheeks flustered, hair a little messed up. She looked like she just had sex but yet… he felt frustration flare inside him again.
"C'mon, who's texting you," he said getting up out of the couch still holding on to his tee. He knew he sounded angry, he was angry and he couldn't hide it. They'd been so close and he felt both embarrassed and frustrated about the hard-on he still sported and that he didn't think would go away until he did something about it.
"It's no…" her words faded out quickly. She kept looking at her screen as she pulled her blouse back in place suddenly feeling very exposed.
"Amanda you have to talk to me," he said taking an aggressive step closer to her but stopped immediately as she shied away. He took a deep breath realizing he had to calm down. He'd been so focused on his own goal and his frustration about not being able to help her get there he'd missed how devastated she looked right now. That nervous twitch in her shoulder was back, she was gnawing on her lip and her nails were digging in to the wrist that was still holding on to her phone.
"What's going on Amanda?" he asked making sure his voice was calm, at least as calm as he was able to take it down to right now.
"Nothing," she said, a bit of annoyance on her voice and she avoided looking at him.
"Okay, so come back to the couch then…" he suggested. She threw him a foul glance.
"What? You said nothing is wrong so let's continue what we were doing then," he said gesturing to where they'd just been sitting. She kept that frown upon her face, glaring at him.
"You said you didn't want to be a tease, so don't be one," he said and regretted it the moment it came out. Her frown turned to devastation and it made him feel even worse.
"Amanda," he said trying to get to her but she threw down her phone on the table and hurried out of there, taking off down the corridor. He sighed loudly as he scolded himself silently. Why did he have to be so thoughtless? He tried rearranging himself in his boxers but it hurt just coming close and he sighed again. Why couldn't anything be easy for them? Easy in the way it had been before. The way they hung out, the way they just casually had sex when one of them felt that urge and then were able to just hang out again. Why couldn't it be easy like that?
He caught the light from the screen of her phone and reached down to fetch it. He'd tried to get in to her phone before but since the NYPD demanded every phone had locks and because Amanda was smart enough to have a code that didn't match her birthday or any of the numbers on her badge, which was his code, he'd never managed to breach her phone. Now that he had the chance he wasn't going to miss it.
He found her texts, caught sight of a long list sent from 'unknown number'. She'd just recently received two texts and he clicked the first of the two. He started reading but had to start over as he couldn't grasp what he was reading, his mind went completely blank. When he started again his blood quickly froze and he let out a chocked gasp once he'd finished the first text.
"But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." ( 1 John 1:7-9)
He opened up the most recent text and it didn't calm him in any way, quite the opposite. He got really scared.
"Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord Amanda. Confess your sins. Bleed for the Lord and all shall be forgiven. Be the angel the Lord wants you to be Amanda. You shall be forgiven only then."
He went through another couple of texts and then made his way down the corridor.
"Amanda?" he called out taking a quick look inside her room. She wasn't in there and he heard that the shower had been turned on down the hall so he continued down.
"Amanda," he said loudly even before he'd reached the door, he wanted her to know he was coming. He pounded on the door.
"Amanda," he said with a harsh voice.
"Leave me alone," he heard from inside. He didn't care and opened up the door.
"What the…" she said spinning around. The bathroom was already filled with steam from the hot rays she'd turned on. She grabbed for her blouse that was on the floor and held it against her chest.
"What is this?" he said holding up the phone with one of the texts on the screen.
"You had no right…" she whispered looking at the phone with a bewildered look upon her face.
"Amanda, he's texting you. Mayhem is texting you," Fin said still shocked. Amanda shook her head though.
"It's not him," she said. Fin just looked at her with eyes that told her she had to explain.
"Don't you think I've checked, he's still locked up, he's not allowed visitors. It can't be him," she said with a voice that sounded like she could start crying at any second now.
"But it's his signature right? This is what he used on you down there," Fin said. Amanda bit her lip. Fin had another look at the screen. Things were happening a little too fast for him right now.
"How long?" he asked. She shook her head not getting what he meant.
"How long have you been getting these texts?"
"Like…" she started but her throat closed.
"How long Amanda," Fin said back to being angry again. Not at her, well maybe a little at her but mostly at the fact her ordeal didn't seem to be over.
"A week, two… three, I got the first text three weeks ago," she confessed after some hassle.
"Three w… Fuck Amanda," Fin said turning his back at her briefly.
"I'm sorry," she said as tears started falling down her face.
"Why didn't you tell me," he complained still with his back at her.
"I'm sorry," she repeated and now he heard the tears on her voice and it made him turn back around. She was covered in fog from the shower now and she wiped her face with one hand. Either the fog or her tears made her makeup smear and her lower lip was trembling.
"I'm so sorry," she said as her face crumbled. He took one quick step over to her and brought her in to his arms.
"It's okay," he whispered holding her tight. She let go of the blouse and he felt her hands latch on to him, clutching at his bare skin. She tried disappearing in to his warm hug. All she wanted was to disappear.
"It's okay," he repeated, his mouth tucked in to her blonde locks and his arms wrapped tightly around her, "He's not going to get away with this. He's not going to get you Amanda. You're safe. I got you. You're safe."