Hey guys! Here's my other Gintama one-shot, and this one's about Hasagawa, and how he interviews people who Gintoki had had encoutners with- good or bad. Okita and Kagura, and many more of the people we love are featured. So please enjoy and review!

Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama

Hasagawa stared longingly at the Pichinko parlor, he had his chance at winning the jackpot, but once again, it was ruined…by him. The jobless man remembered that he was sitting at his own machine, but his cheap, car-trunk-sold sushi came back to bite his ass, and he had barely made the bathroom in time to take a dump. When he got back, he had saw that his supposed friend, more like unfortunate acquaintance, Gintoki Sakata had taken his spot, and had the nerve of drinking Strawberry milk while he was playing. After tackling the silver-haired man to the ground, another person had sat down, and he had won the freakin' jackpot! After trying to get the money, both he and Gintoki had been brought in by Hijikata and Okita, who seemed very amused. In fact, Okita seemed more than happy about setting a bad example to the young Yato living with him; even threatening him for his negligence.

So, here he was now, jobless, money-less, and on the brink of suicide once again; or simply lying around, looking at the sky. Then a conversation between two women caught his attention, curiously, he got closer until he could hear better. "So, like, I'm failing my creative writing class, and my story was about a tragedy. My teacher said, I like had no talent in miserable writing."

"That's because you need to have a miserable life in order to write about misery, and we don't have that, obviously. I mean, we're rich enough to be wearing sailor fukus!" The other high school girl shrugged. "It's too bad, I heard the newspaper is looking for a writer to talk about personal opinions, and stuff."

"Yeah…but who could write about being miserable all the time, no one's life could possibly be that miserable." The other girl replied.

'Hey, I have a completely miserable life! Yosh! A new job!' Hasagawa rubbed his hands together gleefully at the thought.

"Oi, Madao." He snapped his head up, and saw the first-division commander of the Shinsengumi. The young man looked at him neutrally, and eventually spoke. "I won't arrest you the next time you're around China, I'll turn you into a corpse-container for undercover reasons. Even someone as worthless as you could become a duffle bag." He walked off casually, leaving a broken man behind.

Later that day

For once things went smoothly, and Hasagawa actually got the job, the only problem was…he had no idea what to write, his deadline was coming up, and he was certaini Gintoki was going to ruin this job for him as well. The question was how, how was that bastard going to do it this time? Not realizing where he was walking, he suddenly bumped into something small and firm. "Watch where you're going, uh-huh!"

That voice! Oh no! He stared at the Yato girl, glaring at him in annoyance. "Er…sorry Kagura-chan, I was just on my way to gather inspiration."

"You could just say Yoshiwara like everyone else does." Kagura shrugged.

"I don't have the kind of money! And I wasn't even talking about that kind of inspiration, you little brat!" He yelled.

"But you felt up my chest when you bumped into me." She replied, chewing on a piece of Sunboku.

"NO I DIDN'T! YOU'RE COMPLETLEY MAKING THAT UP!" Madao yelled. The adult man, suddenly felt a sword at the back of his neck. He gulped when he remembered just who exactly the Yato girl's boyfriend was.

"What did I say about my catching you near China, Madao?" He asked coolly.

"Oh. Hey Sadist." Kagura waved as she chewed her bitter treat. "Why you mad at Madao?"

"I saw him stalking two high school girls; they were in sailor fukus, which makes it obvious that he is a lolicon, as well as sexual deviant. China, the sailor fuku is one of the most obvious fetishes, that only an amateur, deviant, pervert would get turned on by that." Sougo explained logically.

"HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN HER THEN? AREN'T YOU FIVE YEARS OLDER THAN HER, OR SOMETHING?" Hasawgawa exclaimed.

"Mind your own business Madao!" Kagura kicked his butt harshly, sending him fifty feet into the air. She calmly joined Sougo's side, and the sadistic couple watched as Madao plowed into the earth. "Get a job, Madao. If you had a life, then you wouldn't bother sticking your nose into oter people's."

"I do have a job!" Hasagawa exclaimed. "I just got a job as a newspaper journalist!"

"How much does it pay?" Sougo challenged.

"Er…"

"Do you even have a story published yet?" Kagura asked in the same dead-panned manner. Seeing as how he didn't answer either of those questions, the sadists smirked in triumph. "The useless Madao strikes again. He'll get fired before the first article's out."

"Indeed; he's a waste of our breath, China." Sougo replied, leading them away.

"I WOULD'VE GOTTEN FIRED ANYWAYS! THAT DAMNED GINTOKI WOULD SHO UP AND RUIN EVERYTHING JUST LIKE HE ALAYS HAS!" He yelled.

Kagura sweat-dropped. "If you're that mad at him, then write an article about how Gin-chan ruins people's lives." At this, the adult, jobless man stopped crying.

Sougo put on a small, evil smirk. "China's right. If you think about it logically, while Danna's helped many people in Kabuki-cho, more often than not he's often the root cause of it, and makes people's lives miserable long after the conflict is settled. For example, he and Megane-san insist that China does not live with me."

"It's not just them, perverted Sadist." Kagura shoved him slightly. "Besides you, Granny Otose complains a lot, that useless ninja- Hattori keeps getting his butt crashed into Gin-chan's scooter, he's sexually harassed Anego, Tsukuyo, and other women we've helped in the past. Gin-chan's an all-around bad-luck generator."

Noticing that the man seemed awestruck, Okita had enough, and pulled Kagura's hand slightly. "Come on China, Madao's no longer breathing. Hopefully he'll just turn into a statue."

"Yeah. A glass statue, so we can break it with a hammer, uh-huh!" Kagura pumped her fist up.

Normally the jobless man would cry, but Hasagawa didn't cry; in fact, he was sure Kami-sama had just offered him sake.

Later that Day

Hattori Zenzou, walked down the street, pissed off beyond hell because his dispute with Gintoki Sakata over who would get the last issue of JUMP. The magazine ripped in half, Gintoki fled the store from the angry manager, and Hattori had to pay for a useless ripped magazine. Today was a terrible day until… "Step right up folks! Come and relish in this grand opportunity to tell all of Kabukicho how, Yorozu, odd-jobs Sakata Gintoki, ruined your life!"

"What if he's still currently ruining your life?" Some random person of the long line people yelled.

"Yes! Your story is more than welcome as well!" Hasagawa yelled.

Hattori could only stare at the sight before him, the jobless man had set up a booth that read "How Sakata Gintoki ruined my life: What's your story?", and had a line of people about a mile long. Including Tsukuyo from Yoshiwara, Kondo and Hijikata from the Shinsengumi, Otose, Katherine, Shinpachi, Otae, the Yagyuu Kyuubei and Tojo, Katsura, and finally Sougo and Kagura who were having a fierce Sunboku/Pocky game in line.

After about a minute, it finally clicked in the rich ninja's head. "OH MY GODD! FINALLY! THANK YOU!" Hattori raced for his place in line.

The Next Day

Living with Kagura, Gintoki was used to waking up with her Shinsengumi boyfriend aiming his trusty bazooka at his head, he was sued to waiting up all night for his younger-sister Yato-girl to come home, and most of all…he was used to waking up to a lot of noise. But what he wasn't used to was waking up to Kagura, Okita, and Shinpachi sitting on the couch, reading the same newspaper. To make things even weirder, they were all laughing hysterically…even the prince of sadists! "Oi…what's everyone reading?" They all stopped laughing and turned to stare at him, only to burst out laughing a second later. "OI! WHAT'S SO FUNNY? TELL ME!"

"Gin-chan! You're famous!" Kagura shoved the newspaper in his face.

"Congratulations Danna, perhaps your uselessness can be your new income." Sougo replied, an arm around Kagura's shoulders.

"Gin-san…I hope this means I can actually get paid now." Shinpachi ended it.

"What are you idiots talking about?" Gintoki glanced at the paper, and his eyes bugged out of his head. "…I'm hung over aren't I? The old hag slipped something into my drink for not paying rent, that's got to be it!" He was running his hand through his perm in agitation. "There's no way this is real, not real!"

The article of the paper was very well written:

In the dark land of Kabukicho, there are very few lights of hope, but all the hope of life is sucked up by one, Sakata Gintoki. Sakata Gintoki has been a proven bad karma tool in the town of Kabukicho for a total of three years now, and has ruined the lives of all the people h's interacted. One is the author, Hasagawa T., we cannot give you his fullname or it would be conflict of interest, others would be from the prominent Yagyuu family, three of the four devas, Yoshiwara's top assassins, and it has been confirmed that he is currently keeping an under aged Yato girl captive in his home. For further details of how Sakata Gintoki ruins life, please look for yourself:

Hasagawa: Every time I run into him, I either lose a job, or my money is suddenly lost.

Hattori: My hemorrhoids have suffered more than all of Kabukicho

Okita: He is a lazy, pedophile, who is living with my girlfriend

Hijikata: He's thwarted several arrests, and almost ruined my career with in the Shinsengumi.

Katsura: He refuses to help an old comrade to fight for the new era of Japan.

Takasugi: He is too weak to walk the face of the earth.

Otae: He is a peeping tom.

Kondo: He spends more time taking a dump, than helping you in a fight.

Otose: He never pays his rent on time.

Katherine: He takes up room.

Sarutobi: He's taken over my heart and mind!

Kyubei: He is the love interest, of my love interest.

Tojo: He has no respect for noble families or anyone in life.

Gengai: He never pays me!

Tsukuyo: He's a bloody womanizer.

Kagura: He's stinky.

Shinpachi: He's physically and emotionally abusive, and a slave driver.

Bansai: The only thing about Sakata Gintoki is that drunk rock and roll.

And there you have it! The way of life, ruined by Sakata Gintoki. Stay tuned for more articles, featuring Sakata Gintoki's S&M preferences next.

"WHAT? WHAT IS THIS? ALL OF THIS I COMPLETLEY UNTRUE! HOW DO I RUIN LIVES? ALL OF THESE PEOPLE IN ONE WAY SHAPE OR FORM HAVE RUINED MY LIFE! THIS ARTICLE'S ABOUT ME FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! WHY THE HELL DIDN'T THEY INTERVIEW ME FOR THIS THING!" He turned to the three smiling idiots. "WHO'S RESPONIBLE FOR THIS? TELL ME!"

"You could just read where the author's name is Gin-san." Shinpachi pointed out.

"WHERE? WHERE IS THAT?" He demanded, scouring the article.

"You have to bend yourself forward, and look for it between your legs." Sougo instructed. Whether it was the embarrassment, or Gintoki was just that stupid, he actually obeyed; making the occupants in the room rather frightened. From what it looked like, he was sniffing his own ass.

"Lazy-bum, it's time to pay-" Otose walked in at that moment and saw the position. "The things you do to get out of rent." She puffed her cigarette and walked away.

"HOLD ON! THIS IN'T WHAT IT LOOK LIKE! I WAS LOOKING FOR THE AUTHOR OF THE ARTICLE TODAY! THAT'S IT!" Gintoki exclaimed in desperation as his landlord walked away.

"It was Madao, Gin-chan." Kagura said, having enough of his annoying screaming.

"M…Madao?" Gintoki repeated. "MADAO!" Gintoki ran out of the house and off into the street, most likely to assonate the poor man.

Then there was an awkward moment of silence, then Okita spoke up. "Wanna have sex in Danna's bed, China?"

"Sounds fun, uh-huh." Kagura nodded, and followed Okita into the bedroom; leaving Shinpachi alone.

"…If only I hadn't promised my body and soul to Otsuu-chan…then I could get a date." The glasses kid silently cried himself to sleep.

Hope you enjoyed my two one-shots! Please check out my other stories too!