Disclaimer: I do not own Dragonball. Dragonball, its story and characters, is the property of Akira Toriyama, TOEI Animation, VIZ, FUNimation, etc.
Warnings: Gender swap, humor, mild language

Chapter 2 Balls

A broad smile was plastered across Bulma's face as he drove along the dirt road. Three balls down and four to go. They were practically half way there! At long last, he'd have his dream girl! Not that he really needed a mystical dragon to find him a girlfriend. After all, he was a total stud. It was just that... well he didn't really know why girls were so put off by him. Surely they were all just far too intimidated by his hunky exterior and his worldly charms. Yes, that must be it. Truly, beauty is a curse.

"I'm starvin'!" Goku announced, pulling Bulma back to reality.

He frowned, noticing the slowly setting sun. "It is gettin' dark," he mused. "Let's stop for the night."

Goku hopped off as soon as the motorcycle had stopped. "I get the soft leaves for my bed!" she announced happily. She was really happy to finally have some company. It had been so long since she'd had someone to sleep with.

Bulma wrinkled his nose in distaste at her words. "Yeah right!" he scoffed. "Like I'm sleeping outside. I've got something better in mind."

Goku gasped in surprise. "You're not going to pop a house outta one of those what-cha-ma-call-its, are you?"

As if in response, Bulma pulled out his capsule and, once he found some nice level ground, tossed it as far from them as he could. With a BOM a house appeared. Bulma smiled as he strode over towards the capsule house. "Ah, how lovely," he chuckled as Goku continued to gape and tremble outside. "Cold enough to come in yet?" he called after her, slowly getting annoyed with her technological naivete.

With a bit of hesitation, Goku slowly approached the house. Once inside, Bulma flicked on the lights and Goku gasped in awe. "You are a witch!" she gasped. "You turned night into day!"

Now it was Bulma's turn to be surprised. "You haven't even heard of lights? You really do have a long way to go cave woman." On a whim, Bulma strode over to the television and clicked it on. "Watch this," he smirked as the screen turned on, displaying a man singing and playing the guitar. As expected, Goku was thrown for a loop by this new display of technology. She instantly approached the screen and began tapping on the glass, trying her best to free the man "trapped" inside.

Bulma allowed himself a laugh at the naive girl's expense, but it was short lived as he soon caught a whiff of some foul stench. He sniffed the air a few times before he finally realized that the smell was coming from Goku. How did I miss that? he wondered, wrinkling his nose in disgust at the odor The fresh air must have masked her stench or something! "Ugh, you're stinking up the joint!" Bulma said out loud. "You're taking a bath before we eat."

Goku turned and gave Bulma a blank stare. "'Bath'?" she repeated. "What's a 'bath'?"

The teenager nearly lost it at that question. He could forgive not knowing about capsules and lights, he could even go easy on her for not knowing about boys, but the mere fact that the girl didn't know what a bath was, was enough to make Bulma flinch away from her. "Ewww! You've got to be kidding!"

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I can't believe I'm doing this, Bulma groused as he prepared the small tub. He'd had plenty of fantasies about bathing his dream girl, but he never would have pictured himself having to scrub down some mangy little jungle runt. "C'mere Son-kun," he grumbled. "Let's get this over with."

He didn't know why he was so shocked when Goku obediently approached him, stark naked and wearing nothing but a confused look on her face. Bulma felt his whole face turn blood red at the sight. As much as it pained him to admit it, this was the first time he had ever seen a girl naked in real life. Goku was still quite small and had a good deal of baby fat, but her curves were clearly starting to show and her small breasts were much more noticeable now that she was rid of her baggy clothing. However, none of this changed the fact that Bulma now felt quite dirty and would be needing a bath himself once he was done with Goku.

"What should I do next?" Goku asked innocently.

"Just get in the tub squirt," he directed, trying his best to avoid eye contact.

Goku climbed in the tub like she was told and soon found herself being sprayed with warm water. The sensation was both surprising and relaxing. She merely stood in the "tub" as Bulma rubbed some funny smelling goo into her hair. "What's that?" Goku asked as she brushed the tips of her fingers into her hair to feel the bubbles forming on top of her head. "It feels funny."

"Oh be quiet!" Bulma ordered. "This whole process would be a lot easier if you just didn't speak for a while." With that, the young man once again began spraying her with water, rinsing away the bubbles. Goku watched as he grabbed a long wooden brush, one hand loosely holding her tail. "I can't believe you actually attached this phony tail to your butt!"

The girl blinked in confusion as she turned to look over her shoulder at the boy. "What phony tail?"

Bulma rolled his eyes in annoyance at her. "Just take it off," he instructed, still not looking her in the eye. "It's in the way." He then began to tug at her tail, causing Goku's body to tingle with sudden numbness.

"Ow!" she exclaimed. "Don't pull!" Wiggling her tail away from Bulma's grip, she grabbed the brush and began to scrub her backside by herself. "I can wash my own butt."

Bulma's eyes tripled in size as he watched Goku's little monkey tail move on it's own. It suddenly clicked in his head that that was no phony tail! It was real! The screech that he unleashed was enough to shake the entire capsule house as he scrambled away from the freaky girl. "Y-you r-really h-h-have a t-t-tail," he stammered once his brain was able to process thought again.

By that point of course, Goku had already rinsed herself off and gotten out of the tub. She gave him a puzzled look at his obvious statement. "I didn't think you'd be surprised," Goku mused as she dried her wild mane with a towel. Her face turned a bit more serious as realization slowly dawned on her. "Oh. You don't have one, huh? I guess only girls have them."

The teen raised his eyebrows in surprise at this new bit of information. Girls have tails? I didn't know that! But it's not like I've ever seen a girl naked before. Wait a minute! If they did have tails, then what about all the chicks in my magazines!? "G-girls don't have tails!" he announced finally. "N-none of the ones I've seen pictures of did!"

"They don't?" Goku wondered briefly before continuing to pull on the rest of her clothes. "Oh well. Who cares." There was a short pause before Goku looked over at Bulma curiously. "Then what is the difference between boys and girls?"

Bulma felt his face flush. Why the hell was this happening to him? He sure hoped he wouldn't have to explain the Birds and the Bees to this kid. "Well, let's just say that boys have a little something... extra," he explained, making a vague gesture towards his crotch. "In the front."

Once he had said that, he noticed the now fully clothed Goku staring intensely at his crotch. Before he could ask her what was wrong, the girl reached over and --

Pat pat.

"You're right! You do feel different down there."

Bulma stiffened, suddenly feeling completely violated. "Don't do that!" he bellowed in out rage.

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Goku smiled happily as she bounced on Bulma's "futon." She'd never felt something so soft and comfortable before. She had a feeling she was going to really like sleeping on it. "This 'futon' thing is going to be fun," she told Bulma between bounces. "And I haven't slept with anybody in way too long!"

Bulma, now dressed in a plain white t-shirt and a pair of draw string sweat pants, frowned at the girl's words. There was no way he was sharing a bed with a kid. Even after taking a nice long bath, he still felt completely dirty about having to run his hands over the girl's naked body. "Dream on kid," he announced grumpily. "Here's your blanket and here's the floor."

A disappointed look suddenly crossed Goku's face as she stopped herself mid bounce. "We're sleeping apart?"

"Well duh!" he said flatly as he made out Goku's bed. "I'm not going to be accused of being some sort of pervert!"

Goku pouted as she hopped off of the futon and on to the floor. "But I always use to use Grampa's crotch as a pillow," she explained, completely oblivious to Bulma's outraged look. "It was so soft and comfy-"

"What did I just say about looking like a pervert!?" he shouted before going over to the bathroom to brush his teeth. This kid was driving him nuts! He needed to change the subject and quick. "So it was just you and your grandfather, right? What happened to your parents?"

"I dunno," Goku said as she crawled into her makeshift bed. "I guess they abandoned me in the mountains when I was a baby. Then my Grampa found me and decided to raise me."

Bulma frowned in confusion. The way Goku had said that was as if she were just talking about the weather. It amazed him how she could be so nonchalant about being abandoned. "They must have abandoned you because you have a tail," he mused.

"Were you abandoned too?" she asked curiously.

"N-no!" Bulma said quickly. "I'm just on summer vacation from school and I'm taking advantage of it. I only have thirty days left to find the rest of the Dragon Balls. I don't have all year like you." Turning around to glance over his shoulder, Bulma was offended to find that Goku had actually had the nerve to fall asleep while he was talking. "Little brat," he growled. "If you're going to ask a question at least stay awake for the answer!"

Shortly after that, Bulma crawled into bed himself, dreaming about strawberries and bathing beautiful women.

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AN: I know that a lot of people think that the suffix "kun" is used only in reference to males, but it can also apply to girls. It's just more commonly used in regards to boys. Besides, I just really like how Bulma calls everyone "kun", especially the nickname "Son-kun" so I wanted to keep that.