Hey guys…Been a while? I hope everyone had a great holiday! I don't really have an excuse for my long hiatus and unfortunately I can't really make any promises on updates but I can promise to try! I really hope you enjoy this because I enjoyed writing it.
Is this really happening? Did I really just say yes? I can't help but stare at Darien as I watch him button his trousers and tuck his shirt back in. His eyes raise and catch mine. Is this really who I want to be my husband? The man I wake up to, every day of my life? The man who I give children to or who takes care of me when I'm sick? Who I will fight tooth and nail with over all the mundane details of married life? And then the man in question smiled at me, just a slight grin, enough to show me his adorable dimples and with that smile I felt my answer. My body was almost humming, "Here comes the bride, all dressed in off-white because who is she trying to fool!"
"So…Can I say you officially said yes or should I ask again when we aren't preparing to have mind blowing sex?" I watch as he straightens his bow tie or at least tries to. I smooth out my dress and smile at him as I step forward, shooing his hands away from his task and replacing his with mine.
"Well that depends…are you insinuating I can't make a logical decision when you are distracting me with your very expert penis?" I fix his tie and my hands slowly drift down. My hands running down his now covered chest and his flat, tight stomach. I trace my fingers around his belt buckle and smile when his breath hitches and his eyes slowly close.
"I think Lita may literally be standing outside the door, tapping her foot. But I don't mind giving her an encore." His eyes are fully opened and staring lustfully at me. All I do is smile as my hand slides just a bit further. I can feel his erection starting to build. I move closer to his body, pressing into him and feeling his hardness on my stomach now. I feel his hands clench on my waist, his breathing coming out in short gasps.
"I will marry you." I tap his penis with my knuckle and kiss him on the nose. He groans loudly and drops his head as he realizes I have no intention of an encore. His chin rests in the crook of my neck and he effortlessly starts kissing my neck. I place both hands on his chest and push him away, roughly.
"Tell anyone you want, I think we know who has the most control. Let's go Rico Suave." I squeal like a pig. It's hard to say if the majority of my excitement came from my newly acquired fiancée or the fact that I am actually getting married. Sorry to disappoint my fellow cynics and ho-haters but I have crossed over to the dark side. Yes that is right ladies I intend to 'oooh' and 'ahhh' at all the pretty dresses and flowers and giggle when I get told what a beautiful bride I will be. I am everything I once hated and yet somehow I don't care. I glare at Darien, only for a moment, and think, damn man.
"Ready?" I ask and he nods an affirmative and smiles as he takes my hand and we exit the now defiled closet. I'm just glad there is no security guard waiting outside for me this time. Let's just say I am no longer welcomed at the happiest place on earth. As we exit the closet I glance from side to side making sure we were in the clear. When I notice Lita is not waiting to pounce we bolt down the hall. That was easy… a little too easy. I slow down, feeling Darien lightly bump into me. You know that feeling you get right before you are about to hurl at the worst possible moment? Yeah I feel about ready to blow chunks.
Right before we round the corner into the safety of the masses four familiar bodies step into our way. One pair of eyes glowing with anger, the second pair containing rainbows and kittens I'm sure. The third is filled with humor and the fourth…oh how I hate that look. The fourth pair of eyes is just staring at me with humor and smugness in those blue depths. A smugness that can only be gained by someone who knows I'm crumbling to all those walls of sarcasm and cynicism I built up. A look that says, 'I knew you were just a big pile of gooey goo'. As we near them I swear I almost see them stiffen as if we were playing a game of Red Rover.
"Hello ladies. How's the reception going?" I roll my eyes at Darien's pathetic attempt to keep them from bringing up the bright pink elephant in the room. Amateur. I always feel pity for men who think they can distract women away from juicy gossip. That would be like placing a slice of cheesecake in front of a poor, menstruating woman and thinking you can say "that's not for you." And then realizing what a silly mistake you made when said women elbows you in the face and scarfs down half the cheesecake while you bleed on the floor.
"Uh let me handle this. Can you go get me a piece of cake before it's all headed to the bride's ass?" I basically shove him towards the reception hall, giving him a defeated look. Yes I am a big enough person to admit I have been defeated. Anyone that can win against these four women, I will personally vow my undying allegiance to. Slowly but surely all four women (technically four in a half because Amy is about ready to pop) surround me, sealing my fate.
"So I heard a funny story Serena…want to hear how it goes?" And Mina starts us off. I feel like a baby antelope being taunted by lions before they rip the poor, adorable, and completely misunderstood antelope to shreds. I wonder if I dip my head down if that will show them I'm surrendering. I don't want any sudden movements to startle them into attack-mode. I have an important date coming up that I'd like to attend.
"Actually I think I've heard it before. A priest and a rabbi right?" I feel Amy's belly bump me and I shiver from mild repulsion. While many people might see pregnancy as a profound miracle of life, it just grosses me out. I swear she bumps me on purpose just to bug me. One time I felt it move and I spent the next three hours scrubbing my hand all the while imagining the birth scene from Alien.
"No actually," I shoot Lita a look of complete desperation. She has always been the one to stand in front of me and say 'enough.' I could always count on her….
"It's actually about a neurotic, angry blonde who accepted a MARRIAGE PROPOSAL!"
Damn that brown haired wench to the deepest circle of hell! Like I was saying earlier, I could always count on her to turn on me! She reels me in, offering me a false sense of security and then gives me a wedgy and says "Gotcha!" Metaphorically speaking of course. What? That's just as bad, if not worse then literally speaking!
"Ha ha, yeah I think I've heard that one. It's not as funny as you guys would think. Don't worry I won't bore you with the punch line." I try to make my way out of the circle of death they have me in but alas I am trapped. Sighing in defeat I hold my hands up and start.
"Mina. Raye. Amy. Lita. I have some news to tell you and of course I want you four to be the first to hear." I take a deep breath, all the while hoping I am laying it on thick enough to assuage their constant heckling. "Darien has asked me to marry him and I said yes!" I smile big and wait for the ridicule to follow.
"We knew this was coming. I just don't think any of us believed it would come about during a game of hide the sausage." Amy laughs and shakes her head at me.
"I did! We are talking about the same girl who called us during one of her steamy sessions just to remind us about what time we were leaving for Atlantic City! She never has anything to say when her vagina is empty! Only when her cup is full…so to speak." One time I did this! One time! And Raye can't let it go! I have a very bad memory, if I hadn't called when I thought of it I would have forgotten! Plus the phone was right there. It only made sense to make the call…right?
"I just never expected her to say yes." I shoot Ray my most fear inspiring glare and then drop it almost immediately when she starts laughing harder. I forgot that nothing short of me suddenly taking an interest in being a better person would scare them. Not to say that I'm not a good person but…who am I trying to fool?
"Enough! For Christ's sake! Yes I am getting married. Yes we are all surprised. And yes I am the most surprised but I have changed. And it's because of the man that I agreed to marry. So you pain's in the ass need to start acting more goddamn happy about this or I'm going to elope! Got it?" The part about eloping was aimed more at Mina. The best way to get the other girls to cooperate is to control the ringleader. And the best way to control this ringleader is by taking away her chance to be center of attention. I know what you're thinking, aren't I supposed to be the center of attention?' And I would say you have a very valid point and that is the extent of the answer to that question.
Mina, while a very caring, generous and thoughtful friend, is often at times…oh what's the word? Selfish? Hmm maybe self-centered? Or I know, self-oriented. Now I don't want you getting the wrong idea about one of my dearest friends. She is always to be counted on and she is more often than not my go-to gal but I hold no illusions that she wouldn't shove my face into a puddle of mud and stand oh so adorably on top of me if a cute boy came strolling passed us.
"Serena stop acting so dramatic! Already we have a bride-zilla on our hands!" I watch as Mina throws her hands in the air and rolls her eyes at my comment. All the while I just smile smugly as my doppelganger walks right into my trap.
"Thanks so much Mina. I'd like to see how you would act if our roles were reversed and you were being harassed about your sudden engagement." Theatrics are the only things that get through those thick heads. Mina stiffens a bit and I can tell what I said hurt her.
"You're right. Congrats. I'm going to head back to the reception." Damnit! How does this woman do it? She knows exactly which string to pull and oh how well she pulls it. I guess it doesn't help knowing she just ended her relationship with a man she, and I quote, "would squeeze out a couple" for. Said man was caught with another women squeezing something entirely different.
"Wait Mina…" Too late. I could only watch as her slumped shoulders walked back to the dance hall. I hate emotions. No I take that back. I hate guilt. I love all the other emotions, hate, anger, orgasmic bliss, are all amazing emotions, it's just that damn guilt that I despise so much.
"You sure know how to stick that big foot of yours in your mouth. I'm sure Darien appreciates that flexibility. Silver lining right?"
"Ha…ha. I'm sure I'll be rolling on the floor with laughter any minute Lita." I sigh, loudly. This is supposed to be one of the happiest days of my life and all I feel is guilt. My happiness has slowly but surely been snuffed out. Which means there is only one thing to do.
"Come on girls." And with the wave of my hand we all start heading into the direction one very depressed blonde left in.
She is one of my best friends. She is one of my best friends. She is…a huge pain in the ass. I can't believe I am doing this…
"Excuse," Is this stupid thing even on? "Testing. Testing. Orange, tango, fox trot." By all the confused stares I'm guessing this microphone is on. "Hi. I think most of you know who I am. For those of you who don't, my name is Serena. Incase you are all wondering what I'm doing on stage interrupting the festivities I just have an announcement to make." I pause, mostly because I really don't want to do this and I am trying to gather the tiny bit of courage I have together. I catch Darien's eye and I practically see them twinkle. What a goober.
"I am newly engaged." Okay pause, allow the shock to set in, the anger to wash over the bride, and the envy of the women who know exactly who it is I am engaged to. "Now while that is an announcement that is not the announcement I was talking about. I wanted to announce that one of my nearest and dearest friends Mina, Mina honey where are you?" Now she has to come out! And she sure enough she shly makes her way to the front of the crowd. How little these people know. "There you are! I wanted to announce that this brilliant woman will be planning it all! Not only that but," I hate this part. "She will be helping me make all the major decisions. What else is the maid of honor for? I put my faith in her!" Smile big, bow slightly to her, and now walk off the stage to embrace her for a hug.
"Sere you are amazing. I can't believe you want me to be your maid of honor. You are making the right decision! Oh I can't wait to start making preparations!" Mina is smiling as wide as a chesire cat. Okay so maybe it's not that bad putting her in charge of the wedding. She is quite good with getting people to do what she wants. I can be example A. And she does have impeccable taste and a great pallet for food. So why was I so worried about making this decision. I had this nagging feeling during my whole speech that I was putting myself in grave danger but I can't for the life of me…As I see three pairs of eyes glaring daggers at me, I suddenly remember why I was worried about making Mina my maid of honor.
'Here comes the bride. All torn to shreds.'
Well there's chapter 2. Again I hope you liked it. Please review and let me know what you think. I always enjoy getting feedback-whether positive or negative. Thanks! Until next time
~Karmic-Balance~