It's Raining Red Vines

Prompt from emmrZep: Can you do a drabble where Kurt gets really angry (as in, irritated adorable angry) at Blaine's love of red vines?

I ended up deviating slightly from the prompt, but the basic idea is there. Hope you still enjoy!

Kurt decided that enough was enough when he opened the cupboard, hunting for paprika, and a bag of Red Vines fell on his head. Blinking, Kurt looked up at the cupboard, only to be met with a faceful of six more.

Feeling distinctly battered, Kurt gazed at the collection of sweets for a moment, before his head snapped up, steely determination flaring in his watering eyes.

For the next hour, Kurt hunted, and good lord, they were everywhere.

By the time he'd finished, Kurt didn't know how many packets there were or even if he'd found them all, but it was too many, and he was not having it.

When Blaine got home, he wasn't exactly expecting anything in particular, per se, but he was definitely not expecting the first thing he heard to be Kurt yelling at him.

"Blaine! Get in here, please!"

"Oh no," Blaine muttered to himself, toeing off his shoes with a growing sense of trepidation and padding into the living room in orange socked feet.

"Honey? Are you okay- oh." Blaine broke off, freezing, as he caught sight of Kurt glaring at him, a pile of Red Vines on the floor by his feet, arms folded and a suspiciously box shaped dent in his coiffed hair.

"Blaine. I think we need to talk about your Red Vine obsession." Kurt stated, voice flat and deceivingly calm.

"Right."

"Sit." Kurt commanded, and Blaine obeyed, watching his boyfriend warily and wondering how on earth he was going to get out of this one. "Blaine. Why are there so many Red Vines?"

"I- um. I overbought, I'm sorry-" Blaine started to babble, but Kurt cut him off;

"Blaine, they were hidden around our apartment. Hidden. You do not just 'over buy' Red Vines and then hide them in the bathroom!" Kurt yelped.

"Ah. You, uh, found those then." Blaine winced at Kurt's bitch face.

"Yes, Blaine I found them. I also found the ones in our closet. And in my closet. And the ones behind the DVDs, and the ones in the vase Carole gave us for Christmas. There were two packets in the medicine cabinet. And about six behind photo frames. In the cereal cupboard. On the bookshelf. Behind the TV. In your underwear. In the linen cupboard. Under the kitchen sink."

With each hiding place, Blaine winced, listening to the ever growing list.

"You didn't find the ones in your desk drawers?" Blaine blurted, before clamping his mouth shut. Kurt shot him a particularly unimpressed look, and Blaine found himself thinking not for the first time that he needed a new filter.

"Blaine Anderson. Enough hiding Red Vines around the apartment! Stop buying so many! If you ate all of these you'd not only be sick several times over, you'd probably rot all your teeth out and then you'd have to have fake ones and the dentist bills would be horrible and your stomach lining would probably burn away with all the sugar and then you'd have to spend months in bed rest and all because of Red Vines, and-"

"Woah, babe, I don't think-"

"Or you'll get so many we'll just be overrun with Red Vines and I won't be able to find anything and they'll be no space for my new Armani and we'll be overrun and we won't be able to open the doors or-"

"Kurt!" Kurt ground to a halt, staring at Blaine and breathing hard, pile of Red Vines by his feet and face flushed.

"Blaine. Enough Red Vines." Blaine shifted uncomfortably.

"I- Kurt, please. I just like them." Kurt shot him a very unimpressed look.

"People do not usually stock up on sweets they 'just like' as if they're expecting World War Three." Kurt deadpanned, causing Blaine to flush and shift again.

"I do?"

"Blaine."

"Kurt."

"Blaine. Enough Red Vines, okay? Why are you so attached to them anyway? I didn't realise you liked them this much." Blaine shifted again, before sagging back into the couch and dragging a weary hand through his hair.

"I don't." He admitted quietly. Kurt paused, hearing something in his voice or reading something in his posture.

"Okay?" Kurt answered cautiously, as Blaine shut his eyes, listening to Kurt move towards him. The couch dipped under his weight, and he unconsciously leant into his boyfriend's familiar, steady presence. "So… why?"

Blaine opened his eyes, staring at the ceiling.

"Cooper buys them for me." Kurt shifted against his side.

"Okay. That doesn't quite explain that," he gestured towards the large pile of sweets, prompting a small laugh from Blaine at his dry tone. "Or why you keep them all even if you don't like them that much." Kurt was watching Blaine with gentle eyes, any fire nearly completely gone. Blaine felt a rush of gratitude, and insistently snuggled closer, before he began to explain.

"I had this obsession with them when I was about fourteen… they were my favourites. I still like them now, just… anyway, after the, after…" He swallowed. "After Sadie Hawkins, I was stuck in the hospital for a good two weeks. Cooper visited me every day," Kurt stiffened slightly, well aware of the what Blaine hadn't said; Cooper visited every day, when nobody else did. Sure, his parents had visited… once or twice. It was Cooper who had been there, Cooper who had got him through it, Cooper who had dried his tears and calmed his nightmares and a hundred other things that his parents should have done, but never even tried. And it was because Kurt knew all of this that he understood what Blaine meant.

"He brought me Red Vines, every single day. I had a huge stock," Blaine chuckled wryly, remembering the shocked nurses at the jar of red sweets that had been on his bedside table amongst the flowers and cards from distant family members. "And since then he likes to send them to me occasionally." Blaine shrugged, a little helplessly, and eyed the pile.

"Occasionally?" Kurt raised an eyebrow at him, and Blaine flushed, grinning lopsidedly. Kurt shook his head. "Okay, okay, don't look at me like that. You can keep five. But I am not having this many, Blaine. I refuse to open my kitchen drawers to have these land on my head." Kurt ruled firmly, as Blaine's eyes flickered up to the dent in Kurt's hair.

"So that's what happened…" Blaine muttered, still eyeing the locks, when Kurt realised with a startled yelp what Blaine was looking at and rushed off to check his hair. Stifling a laugh at his boyfriend's antics, Blaine couldn't help but give a sigh of relief, feeling rather as if he'd just dodged a bullet.

A week later, and Blaine got a text from Cooper; Your boyfriend knows how to threaten people, squirt. I am staying out of his way when you guys get hitched.

When he inquired after it, Cooper sent him a screen cap of a text he had received from Kurt the previous day; Cooper Anderson, if you don't stop trying to bury my home in Red Vines I will ban you from Friday night dinners, and stop sending you chocolate.

Blaine grinned.