Me: Welcome back to another episode of my very twisted game show! Since Sebastian is so much better at disclaimers…SEBASTIAN!
Sebastian: I was sleeping! Anyway, Laila doesn't own Avatar. Can I go back to bed?
Me: No. I had to wake you up early for the test, remember?
Sebastian: What test?
Me: The one where we throw tomatoes at you to see how many you catch. Anyway, I have to go host my show, and Sebastian will be here shortly! He has to sleep because he doesn't like waking up at 2:30 A.M.
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(Camera zooms in on stage. There is the same chair from yesterday, and now there is a table filled with random, assorted, disgusting stuff. The microphones have been removed, and apparently have been replaced with headsets. Sebastian and me walk onstage, me wearing jeans and a shirt, Sebastian wearing a neon pink tuxedo.)
Me: I'm back! Anyway, our next victim…err…I mean contestant is Azula.
Sebastian: And now, I have a tuxedo!
Me: The tux looks ridiculous, because it's pink!
Sebastian: No it doesn't!
Me: Just get rid of it.
(Sebastian marches off stage angrily.)
Me: Anyway, a person by the name of Sco23 gave me and Sebastian the idea for the next challenge! Sebastian, would you care to read it?
(Sebastian runs onstage, now wearing a blue bathing suit. Everyone laughs and stares)
Me: Who are you and what have you done with my friend's brain?
Sebastian: Hey, I'm wearing a suit!
Me: Just read the card.
Sebastian: Okay. Ahem. "Have Azula tickle tortured by Sokka, Zuko, and the Avatar until she confesses to where she hid Suki and make her apologize to all the bad things she has done to Zuko and his friends." Sound good to you, Laila
Me: If it weren't, you wouldn't have read it. Anyway, bring on the psychopath!
(The gorillas, which have been mutated into half-crocodile, half-gorillas, drag Azula, who is in a straightjacket, onstage)
Azula: Let me go! Do you know who I am?
Me: Yes. That's why we're doing this! Sebastian, bring on the other peoples!
Sebastian: Will Sokka, Zuko, and Aang come up here?
(Sokka, Zuko, and Aang run onstage, Aang looking around for the trapdoor the sheep costume fell out of)
Me: Now, your job is to…
(Sebastian comes out of nowhere, dancing crazily and singing. I hide my face in embarrassment)
Me: Sebastian…
Sebastian, singing: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! SPONGEBOB SQUAREPAAAAAAAAAAAANTS!
Me: All right, who gave him coffee?!
(One of my security guards raises his hand)
Me: Why?
Security Guard: He said he was tired.
Me: Whatever. Anyway, Sokka and friends, your job is to tickle Azula while I ask her random questions. Security, please tape the crazy person to that chair.
(Security heads for Sebastian)
Me: Not him! Azula!
(Security goes to Azula and drags her to the chair. Sebastian hands them duct tape, and they tape her onto the chair.)
Me: Are you ready?
(Sokka, Zuko, and Aang run up to Azula.)
Me: Now Azula, I am going to ask you questions, and every question you refuse to answer or lie about, Sebastian will throw whatever he is currently holding at you. Sebastian, your table is over there. You will grab random objects, while wearing gloves, and you will throw whatever you're holding at her, but only if I tell you. In addition, to make sure that Azula doesn't lie, Toph will be standing over here. Just for backup, we've hooked her to a lie detector.
(Toph walks onstage. There is an eruption of applause that nobody else received.)
Me: Okay. Azula, is it true that you dye your hair because it is actually purple?
Azula: No!
Toph: Lies!
(Sebastian picks up a moldy sandwich and throws it at Azula. Sokka, Zuko, and Aang tickle her for about 30 seconds, which seems more like 30 years to her, because apparently, she is extremely ticklish)
Me: We'll be back after a message from some guy we found on the street.
Cabbage Merchant: My Cabbages! Stay away!
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Me: Okay. We're back with Sebastian, Aang, Toph, Sokka, Zuko, and Azula.
Azula, who is covered in some random gross items: Why'd you say my name last?
Me: I hate you, that's why. Anyway, the next question is…
(Drum roll)
Sokka: WHERE IS SUKI?!?!?
Azula: I'm not telling you.
(Sebastian throws an egg at the back of Azula's head)
Azula: Okay! I built a portal, she's in Boston!
(Sokka jumps offstage and literally hits the ground running, straight for the door. Hidden cameras show that he is on a taxi, headed for Orlando-Sanford International Airport.)
Me: Is she really in Boston?
Azula: No. And he'll realize that and come running back to kill me. She's in NYC.
Me: Anyway, I have one more thing.
Azula: I thought you said that was the last question.
Me: I lied. You must now apologize to everyone on INTERNATIONAL TELEVISION! Oh, by the way, you owe me $25.
Azula: No!
Me: Sebastian and other people, you know the drill.
(Zuko and Aang begin tickling Azula mercilessly. Sebastian begins throwing everything in sight, which includes: elephant poop, our Science Teacher's toenails, gum we found on the bottom of a desk, a shoe from the bottom of a lake, dirty underwear (Sokka's), raw chicken, the table itself, Sebastian's microphone, Sebastian's shoes, MY shoes, dirty socks (Sebastian's), MY socks, another chair, and a broom. Sebastian then proceeds to knock down the curtains. They fall on top of me.)
Me: We'll be back soon with another episode. As I have said before, give us ideas. The next victim is…Katara! Now can somebody get this curtain off of me?