DISCLAIMER: We don't own them … just Cliff and he's not worth much!
Toilets, Fridges, and Stoves – Oh, my!
"Blah, blah, blah!" Cliff muttered as he slammed the door of his truck. He and his wife had gotten into an argument over a football game and a still broken microwave just before he'd left for work.
Cliff hoped his bad day wouldn't get any worse. He was feeling slightly dazed as he punched the time clock at his job in the home improvement store. Cliff walked into the security room, glancing briefly at all of the monitors. He sunk down low into the swivel chair and propped his feet up on the old metal desk.
Someone banged on the big metal door. Cliff groaned as he stood up. He'd just gotten comfortable. A pimply faced teenager holding a pizza box greeted him.
"I didn't order any pizza and I'm not paying for that one," Cliff said gruffly.
"It's already paid for. I was just told to deliver it to Cliff. As long as you're Cliff, I don't care what you do with the thing," the delivery boy said.
Cliff was feeling pretty hungry. He shrugged and took the box from the kid. He got himself comfortable in his share again and flipped open the lid of the pizza box. It was mushroom … his favorite! Cliff grabbed a slice and happily munched on the pizza, occasionally glancing at the monitors. Nothing ever happened in this store. This was one of the most boring jobs he'd ever had.
He put the pizza aside and sat up straight in his chair. Cliff figured he should at least watch the monitors for a little bit. After a few minutes, he started yawning. He put his arms on the desk and rested his chin on his arms. Cliff yawned a few more times before falling asleep. He immediately fell into a nice dream about his wife dressed in some silky lingerie.
Just as Cliff started to really enjoy his little fantasy, his wife became very angry in the dream and started throwing things at him. Cliff jerked awake, looking all around him. He shook his head and sighed deeply. He hated fighting with his wife. He thought about calling to apologize to her for the argument they'd had.
But as he contemplated an apology, his eyes were drawn to one of the store monitors. There was a beautiful woman with caramel colored hair standing in an aisle. She appeared to be shopping with her daughter, although the woman looked way too young to be a teenager's mother. The poor young girl with the brown hair was being forced to sit on all of the toilets that were on display.
Cliff chuckled to himself, glad to see he wasn't the only one having a bad day. As he continued to watch the mother and daughter – he decided it was easier to assume than anything else – he noticed a pixie-like girl with black hair bounce right up to them. They seem to know each other.
The three ladies seemed to be having a heated argument. Cliff turned up the volume for that particular screen so that he could find out what they were so upset about.
"We should get low-flow," the brown haired girl said. "Edward is always talking about finite resources."
"We should do what we want and not what Edward wants," the black haired one shot back.
"You're only saying that because the hot pink model only comes in hi-flow," the brunette argued.
"Girls," the woman with the caramel colored hair said. Cliff thought she had a really soft and motherly voice. He figured she had to be the mother of the two girls.
"If we are going to be on this planet for an eternity, we should balance out style and our concern for the environment. We are getting a low-flow toilet," the woman said.
Cliff stuck a finger in his ear and wiggled it around. He had to have misheard the woman. People didn't live forever.
He watches as the woman and the black haired girl argue somewhere, but there lips are moving to fast to follow and he can no longer hear them. The woman and the black haired girl hugged, obviously reaching some sort of agreement, and then headed over to the kitchen displays. The brunette girl was left behind, sitting on a toilet.
Cliff turned on the sound for the kitchen display area. He was suddenly very interested in finding out more about these women.
"Ooh! Esme, look at the stainless steel stove," the pixie cooed.
"Alice, dear, I don't think we need a new stove," the woman replied.
Cliff was pleased to have names to put with their faces.
Esme and Alice moved on to the refrigerators, opening the doors and checking out the sliding trays inside of them.
Alice pulled out a cell phone. "Emmett. It's me, Alice. Bring your Jeep. Esme and I found a few extra things for the house."
Fifteen minutes later, Alice and Esme were still looking over refrigerators. They seemed to have finally agreed on a large stainless steel model with a television built into it.
A big, burly man with huge muscles walked over to the ladies. "Which one did you decide on, mom?"
"Hello, Emmett, dear," Esme greeted the muscular man. Cliff chuckled. He guessed Emmett was as good of a name as any for so big of a guy.
"We want that one, Em," Alice chirped. "It's got a TV!"
The Emmett guy leaned down and lifted the refrigerator with one hand. Cliff's fists flew to his eyes, rubbing hard. He had to have been seeing things! No one could lift that much weight alone, much less one handed. Cliff slowly lowered his hands, but it didn't help. Now the Emmett guy had a fridge in one hand and a stove in the other!
Just then, a blonde haired model showed up and smacked the burly guy in the back of his head. Emmett dropped the stove and dented it. He tried to hold his grip on the fridge and he left his handprint in the metal.
"What the heck, Rosie?" Emmett yelled.
"You aren't supposed to be able to do that," the blonde named Rosie hissed.
Cliff grabbed his stomach, feeling a wave of indigestion hit him. He had to be dreaming. This couldn't be real. Cliff pinched himself, checking to see if he was dreaming …
This was a group effort people! Written by the great My-Bella and me too!!!!