Okay, there he is. He's in the break room, all alone, just do it already. Come on, I've made up my mind. I'm going to ask him. Really, I am, I'm just not sure how to go about it exactly. He wouldn't really say no, would he? Oh God, If he says no I'd never be able to look at him again, shit, I'd never be able to work with him. Please God, let him need uncomplicated, no stings attached, good old fashioned sex as much as I do, please. It will be easy, just take a breath and explain it to him. Ha, yeah, a lot freaking harder than it sounds.
"Pete."
"Oh, hey Addison."
"Look, there's something I need to talk to you about. Well, ask you really. A favor, sort of," I blurted. I'm chewing so freaking hard on my lip right now I'm about to break skin here.
"Okay, sure."
"I… uh. Crap. I can't. I'm sorry I bothered you," I finally spit out. Uh, yeah, way harder to actually say it than it was just thinking it in my head. What am I doing?!
"Addison, what is it?" He asks, all Pete like, and sexy. Like he thinks I wont be able to keep my mouth closed now, now that he's looked at me like that. Oh God, just DO it, Addison.
"I need you to have sex with me." Oh shit. I don't think I even paused between words. That came out like total vomit, definitely not sexy. Shit, he's really going to want to have sex with you now, jackass.
"What?" He responds quickly. Yeah, he looks like he's never been more terrified of me in his life. This was definitely a bad idea. Find a way to get yourself out of this, now. NOW.
"Look, I know I scared you away before with all that talk about wanting more and I know that isn't what you want. So, I'm offering you this. Just sex. No strings. I just really, really need you to have sex with me." Smooth. Yep, he'll totally say yes now. . .
"Okay." He's drawing the word out slowly, so he's thinking about it. "No strings, really? What about Officer Manly?"
"I'm still seeing Kevin. He wants to take things slow and I don't want to scare him off. I really like him."
"So you really don't want anything else from me? Just sex?" I can tell he's really thinking about it now. Hallelujah, there is a God, and he really, really wants me to get laaaiiid. Perfect.
"Yes, Please." I respond. Totally in control, I am good. It would be wrong to have sex right now, wouldn't it?
"What makes you think it can be that easy?" Oh shit. Now he's really thinking about it.
"Why does it have to be complicated? It will only get weird if we let it, and we wont. We're adults. I'm not interested in you and I think we both know you're certainly not interested in me." Ha, I wonder if that sounded like as much of a lie to him as it did to me.
"I'm not so sure that's the whole truth, Addison." Yep. He definitely knows I'm lying.
"Look, I just thought I'd ask. You're my friend and I trust you. But if you don't think it's a good idea then just forget it." Please don't say forget it, please, please.
"I don't think it's a good idea." Shit. It's okay, be an adult, don't be embarrassed. It's probably for the best anyway. Just be friendly, act like nothing weird is happening.
"Okay then.. I'll talk to you later." After I kick myself repeatedly for ever having this god damned idea in the first place.
"I don't think it's a good idea, but I didn't say I wouldn't do it. If you really want me too, I'll do it. But I think we'd better establish a few things, otherwise, It's going to get…"
But he's interrupted. Someone's knocking on the door. Who could possibly want to interrupt now? I do believe Pete was just agreeing to make a woman out of me, or whatever, and someone's interrupting. How freaking thoughtful.
"Sorry to bother you, but Addison, you have a patient, and Pete, Sam is looking for you." Okay, yeah, thanks Dell. Now get out.
"Okay, We'll be right out, just give us a second." Thank God, Pete's closing the door. And now he's coming over to me, so close that we're almost touching. "I was going to say—
"Complicated," I cut him off, knowing that if I let him keep talking I'd never keep it under control. "Yeah I know. How about you come over tonight and we'll talk about it. Eight O' clock?" Oh god. Maybe I should have suggested his place. I think we all know what happened last time he was invited over to my place…
"Okay."He says as he starts for the door. He's smiling, grinning even. Oh shit, did he just wink at me? Does this man have any idea what he's doing to me? Don't answer that. Yes he does, and for once, I don't think I mind.
--
--
She wants to have sex with me? Uncomplicated, unemotional sex. In reality that sounds perfect, exactly the kind of request I wish every woman made. But Addison? I mean, it's obvious that she does something to me. It scares me, really. She was just standing there, looking stunning as always, telling me she wants to sleep with me, no expectations for more. Why is that leaving an unsettling feeling in the pit of my stomach? That's what I want. Sex. And sex with Addison would be ideal. My mind is playing tricks with me. There's no way I really want more from her. Yeah, this will be perfect. . . ugh, who am I kidding? I'm the guy who sat on her front porch for three hours waiting for her to get home from a date with another guy. A guy she'd said she was still seeing, but with whom she wasn't asking to sleep with her. She was asking me. What in the hell is that supposed to mean!? A trick? Make me think she doesn't want more, waits till I'm completely sucked in, then tells me she lied and that she wants an us, knowing I'd be too far gone to ever disagree. No. She seemed completely serious, just sex. Which is almost making me feel worse. She wants sex with me, but to be with someone else. That would usually be okay with me but with her it's only making me frustrated. I don't want her to love him. But it's not like I'm ready for her to love me either. Or maybe I am. God, I can't think straight, which should be the biggest red flag right there not to do this. But I can't not. I've been thinking about sex with Addison pretty much every day since I met her. Sex once may not do so much harm. If it gets too emotional or weird or whatever, it stops. Yeah, this is definitely a good thing.
Who am I kidding. I'm already falling for her. No matter how hard I try to convince myself not to get my emotions involved, I will. I'm totally screwed. And what happens when I finally admit to myself that I have fallen for her? Will I run like a coward like I always do? The last thing I want to do is break Addison's heart. Which is why this is so hard for me. I've never cared before who's heart I was breaking as long as it wasn't mine getting broken again. For so long after Anna I never cared, no one was worth the trouble of caring, but Addison is, and now I do. I can't hurt her, I wont, no matter what that means. This could end up being very, very bad. Suck it up. You told her you'd be there, and you will not, will NOT stand her up again.
--
--
It's ten after eight. I know I shouldn't be freaking out. Plus, we never really agreed the sex would happen tonight, I just invited him over to talk about the sex some more. He's going to come, right? My huge ego just couldn't take it if he blew me off again. I think he knows better. He's my friend, and I think he realizes I'd probably never speak to him again if he decided not to show. Oh thank god, the door bell…
"You came." I say, steady as possible, though my nerves are making my whole body feel numb.
"You thought I wouldn't." Yep. Forgive me for not totally trusting you again.
"I guess I should have figured you would this time. Before there were expectations, this time I promised none." Hopefully my tone disguised any pain behind the words.
"Addison, it's really not like that. I'm sorry about before…" Aww, I think he might actually be serious. Wait, don't get emotional. Don't feel anything.
"Don't. Lets not worry about the past, alright? Come in," I ask moving to the right a little so he can pass by me. He's got a bag in his hand. "What's that?"
"Dinner." Dinner? "You can't ask me to sleep with you without at least letting me do something for you. I'll feel a little cheap, and dirty."
"It's not really supposed to be…"
"Just shut up and let me cook for you. This way you can fill me in a little more on exactly how you plan on this all working out." Oh God, he just yelled at me a little, and it was sexy as hell.
So I just nod and he turns around and starts to work in my kitchen. The kitchen I think I have used all of once since I moved here. He began pulling groceries out of the bag he brought with him, and I just watched quietly. I'm sure Pete thinks I'm gathering my thoughts about what was going to happen next, and I should be, but I'll I can really think about is Pete. He's got a dark blue t-shirt on, just tight enough that I can make out the lines of his shoulders and the muscles of his chest underneath. Never in my life have I known anyone who wore a t-shirt so well. And when was the last time a guy cooked for me? Without me asking? He was good, really good.
I'm pretty sure I was staring off into space because his voice just snapped me back into reality.
"Am I going to have to guess what you're thinking?" Um, you look sexy as hell, and I'd tear your clothes off right now if you'd let me.
"Sorry." I mumble instead. "I… look, I think this can be really easy. I just have a couple of rules I think need to be followed, and if there are any you want to add, feel free."
"What if I don't agree to your rules?"
"Well then I guess you wont be having sex with me then." He's smiling, huge. I can't take much more of this.
"You're mighty demanding considering I'm the one doing you the favor."
"Oh, don't pretend you don't like this idea just as much as I do. This is what you do." Oh shit. That was a little uncalled for. "I don't mean that as a bad thing.. it's just—
"Lets hear the rules." Thank God, he's not mad, or at least not showing it.
"Um, okay, well most importantly we have to remember that it's just sex. So no sleepovers, no need to be all clingy after or you know…"
"Okay." He agreed, and then he turned off the stove and started dishing up some of the best looking chicken and rice I've ever seen. I decide to get up and grab a bottle of white wine from the rack behind me. I hold it up to him and he nods in agreement. I grab two glasses and then he's meeting me at the table, both plates of food in hand.
"Next, no talking about feelings, of any kind, whether they have to do with the sex or not."
"Ha ha." He chuckles between bites, "No talking, got it."
"No one finds out about this. If it ends up being a one night thing or happens again on occasion, you get to tell no one."
"You don't get to tell anyone either." Oh, I love how he figures I'm the one who's going to gossip, please.
"We're friends with the same people."
"Right, so no telling those people, done."
"No talking also means we don't talk about it. At work, when we're alone, whatever. We don't talk about what it was or what it means."
"I'm a pretty smart guy, Addison. No talking means, no talking." Smart ass. Very sexy smart ass.
"Fine then, one more. The big one, rule number one. You can't fall in love with me." I feel childish and stupid for even saying this one out loud, but I have to, right?
"You can't fall in love with me either." Okay, so he's not actually going to give me a straight answer. I should have figured, but he doesn't fall in love. What am I worried about?
"Not going to be a problem," I assure him. "I'm still seeing Kevin, don't forget." I add the don't forget, but I know for a fact he hasn't. And the jealousy I see in his eyes when I mention Kevin's name all but confirms it.
"Right, which brings me to my rule." He's got rules? This should be interesting.
"Okay."
"The second you decide to sleep with Kevin, I'm out. I don't want to be… it would feel wrong. Not to say this whole thing isn't wrong to begin with but even so… I can't be the other guy." I'm not sure if I should think this is sweet, or be angry that he's getting too involved already. He's making it sound like it's going to be more than a one time thing, not that I'd really be complaining if it were.
"Okay, I get that. That's fair."
"And— If one or both of us feel like it's too much, we get to say we're done. Say you're out and it's over, no arguments."
"I agree."
Well that was relatively easy. Dinner helped relax things, and Pete didn't make the situation as awkward or as difficult as I figured he would. Now he's taking my empty plate from in front of me and going to the sink. He's going to clean up, too? Damn, Pete, who knew. I should help right? Since I sat here and all but drooled right on him while he prepared everything. Yep, helping is good. I grab a few items from the stove and follow him to the sink.
"Dinner was great, thank you."
"You sound surprised," he said turning to face me. He was looking at me right in my eyes and my breath hitched in my throat a little before I could speak.
"You never told me you cook." Not that he's told me much of anything.
"I cook. Anything you want. I'm that good." Ahh, there's the cocky reply I'd been almost positive was coming.
Did he just move closer to me? I can almost feel him. I wonder if he can hear my heart beating, because it's about ready to pound right through my chest. Calm down. It's not like he's the first man you've ever been attracted to. No, but he is the first one I've ever attempted to sleep with without wanting more. I know I will. Even if my head keeps telling me not to, my heart is definitely saying something different. Which is the whole freaking point of this. No feelings, no hearts, focus Addison.
Focus? Impossible. He reaches a hand for the small of my back and pulls me so that the space between us is gone, and I almost lose it. The chemistry between us is palpable. The electricity so strong, it scares me. Even if we tried to deny it, there would be no way to hide it now, no going back. Our eyes are locked and I swear to you we are about to combust here.
He pressed me against the counter then, and gently ran both hands down either side of my face. They stopped just below my jaw and held there firmly. My eyes searched his for a moment, trying to read the emotion there, but I could see no doubt, no fear, only welcome and want. And though I could have tried harder for a reason to stop, I didn't and I tried to make sure he saw the same things in my eyes as I saw in his.
Before I could even think to breathe again he'd captured my lips in his. It was slow and deep, the kind of kiss you felt everywhere. The kind that took your breath away and made you forget everything. The kind that made you feel, the kind that made you feel … But I suddenly started thinking too much. I can't be feeling this much, not from one kiss. So I pull away.
"What are you doing?" I ask stupidly. Duh.
"Kissing you." You sure are, very well, in fact. May possibly be the greatest kiss I ever remember getting, but that's not the point.
"You can't."
"Kiss you? This is going to be awfully difficult if I cant kiss you." You think?
"It's just that when you kiss me something happens to me. I get this feeling in my stomach and it makes my head all cloudy and I cant… I cant—
"Think straight? I know, I feel that too. But, Addison I cant do this without… I know you want to check our emotions at the door and all that bullshit, and I will, but I do care about you. As hard as I'm going to try to remember that this is only sex, I cant forget that it's you. And whether I've given you enough cause to believe me or not, I do care about you. You could never be just some woman I have sex with. You mean something to me. So I get to kiss you, even if that blurs the boundaries a little and pisses you off. I just… I cant do it any other way. Okay?" Did he really just admit that? I'm sure that's a mistake. But even if it is, it doesn't change the fact that he said it, and that I actually do believe him.
"Okay," I manage to mumble, but I'm already pressing my lips back to his, and I can't be sure if he'd heard me.
I completely gave in then, we gave in. Rules or no rules we wouldn't go back now; the kissing was making my head cloudy, his breath felt way too good against my skin. Before I realized what was happening I was up on the counter and he was wrapping my legs around his waist. We'd been here before, only this time I was going to do something about the fact that we were wearing too many clothes. I tugged at the bottom of his t-shirt but I get too afraid to pull it up over his head and stop the kissing. For whatever reason, he felt the hesitation and let go of me long enough to pull himself free, and then returned his lips to mine immediately. Remember before when I told you that I'd never known a man who wore a t-shirt so well? Yeah, well it also happens that he wears no t-shirt just as well. And I can't help myself, I have to touch, to make sure my mind isn't deceiving me, so I run my hands slowly along the strong contours of his shoulder blades and the firm muscles of his chest. The kissing isn't stopping either, which I'm very, very glad about. The kissing is, oh yeah, the kissing is good.
I can't even tell you what was happening next, because honestly I'm too lost in him, but somehow the rest of our clothes find their way too the floor, my legs wrap a little tighter around him, and then, well, I think you can guess what happened after that…
It was quick, but not in a bad way, not in a 'I didn't get any pleasure, it was all over too quickly' kind of way. Just heated, which was to be expected. Lets be honest, this was kind of a long time coming. But don't get me wrong. I felt something. I felt it all over. The friction between the two of us was so hot I was sure my skin was burning, and my face was completely flushed, no help in hiding my emotions, not at all. He continued to kiss me on my mouth, hard, as we moved together. And he was holding me, closer than I'd expected, but then again, nothing was really as I'd expected. The way I'd felt when our bodies were together, I couldn't remember feeling that with anyone else. I couldn't breathe, and when I gasped for air his lips decided to collide with my neck and chest, giving my lips a break. I couldn't resist sinking my fingernails harder into his broad shoulders which I had been helplessly clinging to. The minutes felt like hours and nothing but us mattered in those moments. Before I knew it, he was whispering my name, and I his, both spilling over into our release together.
I needed air. Litereally my heart had stopped and I couldn't find it. But he was looking at me, watching me, his own uneven breaths flowing out over my skin, and he smiled. I began to inhale, shaky and panting, and my smile matched his. We needed more.
"You have dirty in your eyes," I managed to shake out. I cant help it and I bring my hands to touch his face, I trace a line across his strong jaw with one and use the back of my other thumb to brush his bottom lip.
"You have dirty in your eyes," he teased, his strong arms still holding me to him.
"So, does that mean you're going to follow me to the bedroom now or not?"
"Definitely following you."
When the door shut behind us I honestly lost track of time, and thought, and place for that matter. The only thing I needed was what I already had. And though I can't, won't, be caught saying these next words to anyone out loud ever, I'll tell you, and only you, that Pete and I made love to each other for hours. But if anyone asks it was just sex. Great sex. Okay, mind blowing, life altering, exceptionally great sex.
This will definitely be happening again.
It's not even at all awkward after like I thought it might be. We lay beside each other for a few minutes trying to regain breath and strength, laughed a little at how easy it had been, and then before I knew it he was standing, searching the room for clothes that weren't there, and I laughed again. I went to the nightstand, threw on a t-shirt and followed him into the kitchen where he had made his way to the sink and began pulling his clothes on. He started to laugh again then, and I couldn't figure out why, until he handed my blouse back to me. He'd successfully managed to pop off all but one of its buttons.
"Sorry about that." He grinned.
"It's okay, I've got other shirts." Plenty more buttons for you to break.
"Addison, I know we're not supposed to talk about the sex, but that was…" It was what? Incredible. Sexy. Intense. Amazing. Yep, but if you say that out loud, I might never let you leave.
"Yeah, it really was," I agree, before he gets the chance to finish. "Thank you." Uh oh, he's crunching up his face. What did I say?
"Okay, new rule. You don't get to thank me for sex. It makes it seem like this was… like we were just.. like I was using you. And that is not what happened—
"Pete," I interrupt, "Stop talking." But I smile at him, bigger than I've possibly ever been able to smile. "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Yeah," he agrees, and makes his way to the door. But he turns around to me right before he closes the door behind him and matches my smile with his own, "Good night, Addison."
"Good night, Pete."
You have know idea how many versions of this chapeter I had. Both POV's. Just Pete's Just Addisons. and It ended up a weird mixture of both. I have a feeling I might just end up going back and forth, to do them justice. Unless it's too confusing. And then maybe I wont. Let me know what you think. If it makes sense at all. Like it or not, anything helps. Thanks for R&R, continue.
PS: I own nothing. Sure wish I owned my own Pete to do dirty things with though.