"I had a great day." Emily said as Jenn pulled up in front of her apartment building. They had spent almost the entire day at the mall. Then like old times they went to a great restaurant to eat. After they were done neither wanted to go home so they went to see the latest movie that was out. It felt like old times. Jenn was living a very stiff life back in New York. Everything was work and nothing was about fun. She didn't have many friends and a part of her liked it that way. But now, sitting here with Emily she was happy she had this one.
"I had a great time too. We need to do it as much as possible." Both girls agreed that while Jenn was in town they would see as much as possible of one another. "So, being your off tonight how about we go out. Maybe go to a bar or whatever." Emily's smile dropped knowing the disappointment she was about to give. She had just agreed on spending as much time as possible and now here she was about to tell her friend she wasn't free to see her.
"Tonight?" Emily bit her lip which Jenn knew as something she did when she didn't know what to say. "Well, I actually have a date tonight."
"It's ok," Jenn laughed. "You had prior plans before I decided to show up. It's ok." Jenn was always the most understanding person Emily had ever met.
"But we will definitely do something tomorrow night. I'll switch my shift." Emily smiled and gave her friend a kiss on her cheek. She climbed out of the car and ran to her building. Jenn watched as her friend disappeared into the run down building. She drove home in silence, smoking as many cigarettes as possible before she reached her mothers house. This day was something she needed. Kicking back with an old friend in a familiar place. Even though she sworn she would never come back, this was helping her any bad feelings she was having. For the first time since she arrived Billy had escaped her mind for awhile, letting her enjoy being back home. Something she never thought would be possible.
After Jenn arrived home she was becoming uneasy. Being out with Emily again was giving her the old feelings she used to love. Never wanting to be home. Always wanting to be out, partying and having fun. She knew this wasn't a vacation, but something more serious. But it didn't mean she couldn't have a little fun during her stay. She walked up the stairs headed to her room she stopped at her mothers door. She was sitting on her bed watching TV and knitting. Jenn watched her mother as she laughed at a show she was watching. Her smile was beautiful. Pains tightened in her chest thinking of the inevitable. How could she survive if her mother died. Her stomach began to turn thinking about it. She needed to be near her, to hold her. She pushed her door open and walked straight to he mother's bed. She laid down next to her putting her arms around her. Mrs. Henley looked down at her daughter, surprise on her face. She put her arms around her daughter comforting her from whatever pain she was feeling.
"Jennifer, my love what happened?" Her mother asked concern in her voice. Jenn hugged her mother tighter closing her eyes, breathing in that familiar scent of beauty.
"I love you mom," she whispered. "I just love you so much."
"Did something happen?" her mother asked pulling Jenn's face up to hers. Jenn smiled looking deep into her Goddesses eyes.
"No mom. Nothing happened. I just love you and I need you to know that."
"Jennifer, I know how much you love me. You don't have to tell me." she kissed her daughters forehead. Jenn rose from her moms bed and walked to the door. She looked back at her mother an smiled.
"I had a great day today, I guess I don't want it to end so I'm going to go out tonight."
"Oh, with Emily?"
"No, Em has a date tonight. But I think I will head out to The Four Roses." Mrs. Henley's eyes widened. That was not a good place for her to be.
"Well, why would you go there?" She laughed uncomfortably. She couldn't tell her daughter, but she didn't want her there. She didn't want her heart to be broken all over again. She knew who went there on a regular basis. Who practically ran the place. It was his territory, as was half of the city.
"It was a place we loved to go once upon a time. Figured I would check it out for awhile. I won't be home late. I love you." Jenn didn't let her mother try to protest her leaving. Her mother was a worry wart but didn't like to express it. You just knew what she was thinking by the wide eyed expression and fake smile she wore.
Jenn wasn't sure how the place looked now or how the people occupying it looked. But she was curious to see what Emily was talking about. She freshened her make up and dressed into something a bit more dressy then her t-shirt and jeans. The jeans idea she kept, throwing on a fresh pair of dark stone washed jeans. She dressed in a long light pink tank top with a brown fitted long sleeved shirt over it. She unbuttoned all the buttons showing off her low tank top and maybe just a little bit of skin. She slipped on a pair of slipper shoes and grabbed her pea coat and bag. She headed to her mothers room again letting her know her cell was on and she would be back later.
Lisa was sitting in the living room watching a movie when she walked down the stairs. She looked up at her and sighed.
"Now where are you going?" Lisa asked.
"Going out. Maybe I'll get lucky tonight." Jenn joked giving her sister her seductive eyes. Lisa laughed. "Wanna come?"
"Ha! I am so sure I don't want to go anywhere you go. I'm too old." Lisa said putting her attention back to her movie.
"Li, your almost 4 years older then me. If your old what does that make me?" Jenn asked crossing her arms over her chest.
"Twenty seven." Lisa said flatly. Jenn laughed as she turned to open the door. "If you change your mind call me. I'll come back and get you." Lisa nodded her head and sighed. The last thing she ever planned on doing after having to move back in with mom was going out and getting drunk. Her divorce was just recently finalized. Unlike her bastard husband she was not ready to be with anyone else. Not yet anyway.
Jenn drove up to The Four Roses parking lot and found a spot right away. This surprised her for when she was a regular there was never a place to park. It was always packed with kids her own age or people 3 times her age. It was a great time she had and she couldn't' think of anywhere else to be. She walked up to the doors and opened them sending a cloud of smoke into her face. Ah, the wonderful smell of stale smoke for others cigarettes. It made her crave a cigarette of her own. She glanced around quick as she made her way to the bar. It still looked the same, just much, much dirtier. A Spanish man was wiping off the counter as placed her coat on the chair. As she sat down the man caught glimpse of her. He made his way to her eyeing her and licking his lips. He leaned over the counter, his sweaty forehead glowing from the lights above.
"What can I get for you?" He asked in a heavy Spanish accent. Jenn smiled knowing he was just a typical pathetic man trying to hit on the first girl he saw.
"I'll have a beer. A Bud preferably. In a bottle." She said staring right back at him. He eyed her some more before he turned to get her order. He placed the cold beer in front of her, popping the top he smiled again.
"So what brings a pretty thing like you to a shit hole like this?" He asked.
"How much?" She nodded to the beer, avoiding his question.
"Not a talker ah. For you," he started to walk away. "First drink on the house."
"Thank you." She watched as the man went back to cleaning the counters and filling the bar. Jenn looked around as she drank her beer. There was several men at the bar with her silently drinking their worries away. There was loud music coming from the juke box in the back. She tried to see the people at the tables but the smoke was thick and the lighting was poor. The pictures that hung on the walls where the same except for a few differences in prices. It didn't feel how it did when she was younger. It was more cold and much more silent. The fun they had at this small bar was something she would remember forever.
Memories started to plague her mind. She didn't want to be sad tonight, she just wanted to relax and maybe have a good time. She scanned the bar again her attention back to the table filled with faces people. Someone started to laugh and talk loud. The voice sounded familiar. Not a voice she was too used to but definitely a voice she had heard before. A voice she had heard for the first time earlier that day. She squinted her eyes trying to see through the smoke that filled the table. The long blond hair gleaming from the over head light is was caught Jenn's attention enough to straighten herself up and lean just a little more to the back.
"Son of a bitch," Jenn said as she climbed off the stool and walked quickly to the back of the bar. She stood at the table looking down at Emily who was too drunk to notice her friend. Baggy was the first to see her. He smiled and elbowed Emily trying to get her attention.
"You didn't tell me your friend was coming." Baggy said. Emily brought her attention to Baggy, her eyes narrowing at him.
"What are you talking about?" She said. She followed his gaze her mouth dropping when she realized who he was talking about. "Jenn,"
"Some date." Jenn spat. Emily lied to her. Flat out lied. Why didn't she want her to come out with her?
"Jenn, what are you doing here?" Emily asked trying to get out of the booth she was trapped in. She started pushing the guy next to her, telling him to move. She called him Tommy, but he didn't even budge. She pushed Baggy begging him to get up. He sighed but let her out. Emily stood in front of Jenn her eyes pleading with her.
"Well, you were going out on a date, and I didn't want to sit in. So what best place to go to other then the only place I ever really knew." Emily grabbed Jenn's hand pulling her away from prying ears. Jenn followed her without hesitation back to her seat.
"You shouldn't be here." Emily stated. Jenn noticed the uncomfortable vibe Emily was giving right away. Her eyes were looking from the front door to Jenn.
"Why shouldn't I be here?"
"Jenn please, I'm begging you. Just leave. I'll leave with you." Emily grabbed Jenn's coat then Jenn's are and started for the door. Jenn pulled away shaking her head.
"What's your problem?" Jenn demanded. She didn't like the look Emily had and didn't appreciate being told to leave. Emily ran her hands threw her hair quickly. A nervous condition she had since a child. "Tell me, now Em." Emily sighed and stood closer to her.
"He'll be here any minute." She whispered. Jenn knew who the "he" was that she was referring to. A nervous feeling crept her entire body. Was she really going to see Billy? What would she say? How would she act? How would he react to seeing her?
"So what?" She said trying her hardest not show interest.
"Jenn, listen you don't understand."
"No I understand and I don't care. I'm a big girl Em. I think I can handle seeing Billy again." She said as she sat back down. She grabbed her beer taking a long drink.
"Jenn, please" Emily stood next to her. Her eyes were intense. "You really should leave." Jenn shook her head avoiding eye contact with her. "You don't get it, Billy isn't what you remember him to be. He's not the same person you left nine years ago. He's different." Jenn looked over at her friend her eyes letting her know she wasn't leaving. She drew her attention back to her drink. She waved the bartender down asking him for another. Emily's frightened look was now stern.
"Fine!" She leaned closer to her friend. "Don't say I didn't warn you." Jenn watched as Emily made her way back to her table. What was her problem? How different could he be? The doors to The Four Roses opened spilling in a group of men. She glanced behind her to her left watching them make their way past her to the back of the bar. The last guy made her heart stop. He was tall, slightly stocky and bald. His long brown trench coat moved with him as he walked. She could see tattoos creeping up his neck. He had a cigarette dangling from his mouth his eyes squinted from the smoke that rose up from it. His walk was hard and tuff as was his look. He had a goatee that made him look more rugged. She watched him from the corner of her eye, her breathing intense. He hadn't noticed her as she looked to the right, her eyes following his every move.
"Move the fuck over." He demanded Baggy. The men at the table change their expression as he walked to them. Now they looked scared as they moved to let him sit. Emily shot quick glances at Jenn. Her eyes pleading with her to leave. Jenn's mouth was still dropped as her eyes couldn't leave the man. He took his coat off,. A fitted black t-shirt showed the rest of the tattoos Jenn saw on his neck. The black tribal crept down both of his arms to his wrists. Jenn's eyes started to water bringing her back to reality. She blinked them quickly looking at the new beer the bartender at left her. She felt like she was going to have a panic attack.
"Who's the skirt?" The man said nodding at Jenn at the bar. He couldn't see her face but he liked what little he could see of her.
"Nobody." Emily snapped. She looked into his eyes trying to keep him focused on her. "Never seen her before." Baggy narrowed his eyes at Emily. Why was she lying to him?
"Don't be jealous Em." The man said.
"I'm far from jealous." She spat.
"Isn't she your friend?" Baggy asked. Emily shot him a nasty look.
"No, you much be mistaken. Your probably thinking of someone else." She hissed.
"Well," the man said as he stood up. "I need a drink and, maybe she'll be my friend." He smirked making the men at the table laugh. He made his way to the bar standing next to Jenn.
"Sammy, a bottle of Jack, some shot glasses." He demanded. The bartender nodded his head and reached for an un-opened bottle. He placed it on the counter and smirked. Jenn's entire body was tense as he stood close to her. His voice sent shivers down her body. He lit another cigarette blowing the smoke past her.
"So, what's your name?" He asked. Jenn ignored him. He looked up at Sammy his eyes narrowed. "What's wrong with this bitch?" he nodded towards her. Sammy shrugged his shoulders as he laughed.
"Maybe she's shy." Sammy quipped.
"Maybe," he said leaning closer to her. "No need to be shy around me." They both laughed. "We can be friends." He laughed looking over at Sammy then back at Jenn. "I always have room for new friends." Jenn grew the courage to face him.
"Well, we wouldn't be called new friends, now would we Billy." She said as she turned to face him. The smirk he wore was quickly dropped when he looked back at the mysterious girl. His eyes widened, his lips pursed, his nostrils flaring as he began to breath heavy. They looked at each other for what seemed forever until Billy slammed his hand on the counter letting out a frustrated growl. He stormed out of the bar slamming the door open. The place grew quiet as everyone stared at the door. Jenn was trying everything not to cry. That was not Billy. Who was that man?
"What the fuck was that about?" Baggy asked Emily. Her eyes watered as she looked over at her friend. She tried to warn her.
"That's Billy's ex-girlfriend." She whispered.
"What?" Joe said as he walked out of the bathroom. "Jenn's here?" He looked around the bar seeing a dark haired girl sitting on a stool staring at her drink. A smile grew on his face as he looked at the only person that was ever right in his and his brothers lives.
"I'll be fuckin' damned." Bodie said as he stood up. He walked over to Jenn putting his hand on her shoulder. She turned around quickly her eyes red.
"Bodie?" She asked as she stood up. They wrapped their arms around each other in a tight embrace. Bodie was Billy's best friend growing up. Unfortunately he was on the same path Billy and Joe were. While they were in high school Bodie played football with Billy, following his desperate attempt at not being his dad. Bodie's father worked for Bones and died when they were younger. No one knows the real reason he died, but deep down they always knew Bones was responsible.
"My God Jenn. How long has it been?' He showed that handsome smile.
"Nine years." She said trying her hardest not to cry. Seeing Billy after all those years was hard enough. But to look in the eyes of a man who she no longer knew, was even worse.
Billy sat in his car his eyes watering from his anger. His grip was tight on the steering wheel making the rubber coating squeak. His head was slightly down, his eyes fixed on the door to The Four Roses. He tried everything to control his breathing, trying his hardest to calm down. The street light illuminated half of his face, the other half hidden from the shadows giving his face a eerie menacing look. He still didn't believe what he saw.
She was never coming back. Her letters told him time and time again she was done with this place and she was never to return. Then why was she there in his bar? Memories of their past flashed in his mind like a movie. Her laughing and smiling. Him, happy and in love. He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. He wanted those images gone. She left him, and he was a different man because of it.
He violently shook the steering wheel. A deep growl escaped his throat. He wanted to break everything around him, to let his nine years worth of frustration out at that moment. He kicked he screamed he punched, but nothing was making him feel better. He needed her gone, far away. Back to where she came. The further she was from him the less it hurt. His head was burning and his anger was getting strong again. He grabbed the door handle and pushed the door open slamming it behind him. He was going to make sure she left.
He broke into a jog until he reached the door. Grabbing the knob he flung it open making the door crash against the outside wall. Is eyes angrily scanned the room. She wasn't at the bar anymore, her things no longer there either. He looked to the back of the bar where he could see his men looking back at him, fear and wonder in their eyes. Jenn walked past them putting her coat on, not noticing the mad man staring at her from across the room. She walked past Emily and the rest of them giving them all a small smile as she made her way to the door. She stopped suddenly, her eyes meeting Billy's. Before she could protest he grabbed her arm, his grip tight as he pulled her outside. He dragged her to her mother's car stopping by the drivers side door.
"I want you gone, and never show your face here again." He hissed through clenched teeth. She looked up at him her eyes sad, and filled with fear. He started leaning closer to her. Jenn's stomach was in knots. Her heart racing. This was the first time she was ever afraid of him. Jenn's eyes scanned his face. She noticed the scars right away. She didn't want to know how he got them or who gave them to him. He was a completely different person then he was before she left. That boyish charm was gone. The love he always showed, gone.
"Billy," her eyes swelled up with tears as she said his name. "What have you done to yourself?" Her voice a mere whisper. Billy was taken off guard by her words. He widened his eyes as he took a step back from her. He needed her to leave before he did something he knew he would regret.
"Go home." He spat. She took her eyes off of him and opened the car door. She quickly climbed in and started the car. This was not how she expected their first meeting to be. But this wasn't the man she was expecting to see either. Billy watched as she drove out of the parking lot. He grabbed his cigarettes from his pocket and lit one. He inhaled deeply as he threw his head back. His eyes closed, his breathing became steady. He needed a drink and anything else he could get his hands on to make this pain go away.
Jenn walked into her mother's house quietly. She didn't realize how late it was. Her sister was sleeping on the couch with the TV still on. Jenn walked slowly to her, touching her shoulder she nudged her to wake up.
"Lisa, its late go to bed." Lisa opened her eyes, slowly she sat up.
"What time is it?" Lisa asked as she yawned and stretched.
"Late." Jenn said as she walked into the kitchen. Lisa watched as her sister disappeared down the hall. She rose to her feet, pulled her robe tighter over her chest and walked into the kitchen. Jenn sat at the table staring at the wall. Her coat was still on and her bag was dangling from her hand barely touching the floor. She could tell she had been crying and suddenly she knew why.
"Oh my God, you saw him?" Lisa asked sitting down next to her sister. Jenn slowly turned her head her eyes questioning her.
"What?" Had she heard her right? It was if the pain across her face could only have been caused by one person.
"Billy," she said her voice filled with concern. "you saw him didn't you?" Lisa grabbed her sister's arm giving her a sympathetic look. Her eyes began to water again as she thought about how horrible Billy had become.
"I'm not feeling well. I'm going to bed." Jenn didn't give her sister a chance to talk as she quickly made her way up the stairs and into her room. She ripped her coat off and undressed quickly throwing on a t-shirt and sweat shorts, she jumped into bed. Wrapping the covers tightly around herself she cried herself to sleep.