A/N: This was originally going to be a oneshot by itself, but I figured it was more along the line of the Piss Off Society story. Therefore, here it is. Enjoy! I Own None of the characters and attempted to take a leaf out of the Red Miko's book by keeping them in character.
"Two."
The sound of two cards dealt off the deck skid against the kotatsu top. A large hand picks them up and an eye narrows to study them, along with their three brothers. "Hmph," grumped Zaraki.
Ever smiling, the opponent to his right looks over. "Maa, Kenpachi-taicho, yer karma ain't favorin' ya tonight." Ichimaru Gin's cards are spread out face down in front of him and one can tell he has committed them to memory. His face fails to cease its perpetual smirk even for a moment as he slides a card away from his own hand and replaces it with the one the dealer gives to him.
"Silence!" hisses the third, bulbous eyes narrowing. Kurotsuchi Mayuri's eyes flicker from opponent to opponent, mouth uncharacteristically drawn down at the corners. One long fingered hand strokes the side of his head, touching the peculiar ram's horn headdress almost in a plea for luck. "I must concentrate…"
"Shut your whinin' and hurry up," growls Kenpachi, bells jingling on his hair as he rests his chin in his hand. His hand taps the cards against the tabletop.
It's a few hours since they've all been paid, their Soul Society wages doled out by severe-looking representatives of the new council of forty-six. Of course, Gin is still on probation since the whole Aizen debacle, but that doesn't stop him from joining. The others wonder where he gets the money, but Zaraki doesn't really care, Mayuri's more concerned about winning it from him, and Hanataro-
Shoulders hunched as though to apologize for his low rank among three of the Soul Society's highest officers, the seventh seat of the fourth division shivers in suppressed terror. His sleep-darkened eyes flick from captain to captain, avoiding eye contact. One might wonder how he came to be there, to play poker of all things with three of the most terrifying Soul Reapers in the entire Soul Society.
Truth be told, Hanataro wonders that himself.
"Three cards, bouzu!"
Jumping at the sudden statement, Hanataro shrinks lower as the scientist Shinigami turns his manic glare upon him. Impatient, Kurotsuchi snapped his fingers, one of his eyes dilating as he scans Hanataro's hands, watching for bottom-dealing. Again, he sees nothing and snatches the proffered cards.
"D-d-dealer takes none," stammers the seventh seat. Holding his cards up higher in front of his face, he tries to shield himself from the sudden rise in intensity from Zaraki's glare and Kurotsuchi's stare. "Ano…I fold-"
"Oh, no you don't," growls the eleventh division captain, eye narrowing to a dangerous slit. "If you did that, I might accidentally take off this eye patch." He taps the concealing eyewear.
"Yade yade."(Yare yare, I think) Gin rests his chin on his folded hands, smirk widening ever so slightly. "Hanataro-kun has possessed extraordinary luck this evening. Surely he doesn't wish to give up when he is…how does the living world say," here, his eyes open fractionally, a hint of red beaming toward the hapless Hanataro, "'On a roll?'"
Kurotsuchi says nothing, staring at Hanataro, his bony knuckles cracking ominously.
Shivering in terror, the boy slumps lower in his chair. "Check," he squeaks.
Continuing to glare, Zaraki picks up two chips and tosses them on to the moderately-sized pile in the center. "I bet two."
"I'll see ya, and raise ya two." The chips click onto the pile and Gin returns his hands to underneath his chin, eyes still open a crack to allow the crimson to show, eyes fixed on Hanataro.
Clearing his throat with a sound of rocks and rotting meat compacting together, the scientist captain lets nine chips drop from his long fingers. "Five," he says, turning his gaze upon Hanataro.
"A-ano…" a worried smile crosses the boy's face. "I would like to fol-"
"Come, come, Hanataro-kun!" chuckles Gin. "This is your chance to fight for the honor of Fourth Division!" With a sigh, he adjusts the chips in front of him. "I might sweeten the pot." A slip of paper appears in his hand. "Rangiku owes me a favor or two. This one entails a kiss, on one of those-" he raises an eyebrow at the foreign word. "'Valentines' she and the Inoue girl were making in the world of the living." The paper flutters to join the rest of the chips.
"D-demo!" Hanataro's eyes widen. "I d-d-don't want-"
"Heh heh heh…" Zaraki's grin sprouts suddenly, fiendish and bright. "I'd enjoy winning something like that, only I'd swap it for her looking after Yachiru for an evening while I go train." He slams his fist on the table, causing Hanataro to jump in surprise and the chips to leap with impact. "Fine. Kid, if ya win this one, I'll transfer ya to Eleventh Division and you can be joint lieutenant with Yachiru."
"Demo! I-is th-th-that even allowed?" Hanataro presses himself so far back in his chair that he nearly becomes one with the cushion under the crushing weight of their stares. "Because-"
Rubbing a finger across his bottom lip, Kurotsuchi smirks. "Hnnn…if I won, what good would that do me?"
"So I'll owe ya a favor," dismisses Zaraki. Gin nods to show he would as well.
The scientist captain nods as well. "Whoever wins this next hand, I will have Nemu attend to their every need for one day. Paperwork, sword practice dummy…" his golden eyes linger over Zaraki and move on to Hanataro, "or to hone…other…skills in which you are sadly deficient," he cackles, giving the seventh seat boy a look up and down. With a quick motion, he spreads his cards face up on the table in front of him. "I call. Three kings."
Zaraki follows suit, his fiendish grin turning into a sinister chuckle. "Too bad, Mayuri. Full house with queens and aces. Looks like I'm gonna have a peaceful evening soon-" His huge hand is caught by a slender one as it reaches for the mound of clay disks.
"Maa, Zaraki-taicho. Not so hasty." A flash of white follows the disposal of his cards on the table, four twos in ebony and ruby.
By this time, Hanataro's chair is empty. The three catch sight of him pulling a hasty shunpo out the nearby window. Zaraki picks up his abandoned hand and his eye bulges at what he sees. "Naniiii?"
By the time he's gotten the eyepatch off and is out the window, Hanataro's disappeared in the under tunnels of the Soul Society.
He can't hide forever, though.
When Ikkaku and Yumichika see Hanataro the next day, the bald man turns to his friend after observing for awhile. "Since when did the captain carry Yamada around on his back next to Yachiru?"
Flicking back his hair, the other shrugs. "I don't know. Zaraki-taicho looks grumpy about it, though he wouldn't do it without a reason. Ugh," a scowl falls across the man's face as a certain tenth division lieutenant walks up, "Rangiku."
"Yes, yes, she's prettier than you. I know already, get over it," says Ikkaku, hastily cutting off the usual stream of complaints. "She- oh. What the hell?! Did she just reach up and give Hanataro a kiss?!"
Thoughts of jealousy streaming away before a wave of shock, Yumichika blinks. "She must have. He's falling off in surprise-" he winces. "He just cracked his head on the tiles."
"Wow. Did Nemu just come out of nowhere?" Blinking and rubbing a hand across his eyes to make sure he isn't hallucinating, the bald shinigami's mouth falls open. "Now she's tending to his wound. And mopping his brow. And offering him iced saki." He exchanges flabbergasted expressions with his friend. As one, they both run forward to the prone seventh seat's side, just as Rangiku was walking away, a thoughtful expression on her face.
"Oi, Yamada," says Yumichika, resting a hand on his zanpakuto. "How are you so popular with the ladies and Zaraki all of a sudden?"
The dazed fourth division boy with the innocent features looks up at Ikkaku, eyes unfocused, and mumbles, "Straight flush and full marks in statistics."
A/N: Hee, Hanataro would probably be even more popular than Keigo, ne? Thanks to the people who read and reviewed my first chapter! Everybody's Neesan and Arsenic Android, take a bow or three!