Dean mulled over what he had learned so far:

'Em' was actually 'M'

His host was Ana

Alena was a prettier, mossier version of a hellhound

She wasn't the only one

He was eating one of the best cheeseburgers in the world

Dean tried to puzzle out what was going on while eating. Goddamn tasty burger. M was definitely Ana's sister, maybe, it went on the list of things he needed to ask. Same height (no wonder he couldn't shift her, Ana almost looked him in the eyes), same bone structure, but where Ana had teal hair, M had fire engine red kept in check by viking braids. The part that gave Dean the willies was their eyes. Identical gray, identical alien, identical mirth at the wrong moments. Different piercings, though; M's were silver with green stones. And from the looks of it, different tattoos peeking out from their clothing. Same shifting of the words, but M's were made of fire instead of feathers.

Dean still couldn't figure out where they were. He had traveled both the East coast and West coast of the continental United States and this bay didn't belong to either. The stormy waters looked like he was farther north than Maine and in the winter, but the forest was in full bloom. And the sky, holy shit the sky refused to make sense, so Dean skipped it in favor of looking at more normal things. He was in a glade covered by bright green grass and surrounded by what looked like a wild orchard. Mixed in with the apple tree he had been under were hawthorn, cherry, and silver birch trees. Through a pair of hawthorns he could see a path down to the bay and what looked like a hamlet straight out of a travel brochure. What was weird (Ha) was instead of seagulls, the only birds Dean could see were crows, or were they ravens? Big, hulking, black birds that seemed to like gathering behind Ana and M. Occasionally one or two would flit forward to eat out of the sisters' hands what appeared to be very bloody steak.

When Ana had first let him sit up after his promise he hadn't seen any furniture in the glade, but he was now sitting at a wooden table so intricately carved with medieval battles that Dean was surprised it was allowed outside, and the sisters were lounging on divans (wouldn't Sammy laugh at him using frilly language). Alena had been joined by pack mates, who had draped themselves around the clearing in an obvious move to prevent all escape. Something about them tugged at Dean's memory, but he put it off as an effect of the flick M had given him. There were a couple of fucking huge cats scattered among the hounds paying attention to the sisters.

He didn't know what Ana did to his head, but he was thinking better than he had two concussions ago (should have asked Cas for help, but he had his pride); it didn't feel like angel mojo and Ana didn't act like an angel. Well, maybe a bit like Gabriel, but he was a mutant. Ana had held his head between her hands and sang in a flowing language. By the end of the first verse his migraine was gone, by the end of her songspell he knew even his teeth were better, let alone his concussion.

"Do you require more refreshments? More healing? Are you ready to learn what you can do for us, and what we can do for you?" Ana asked while waving her hand, which made his cheeseburger and coke disappear the same way they came in, no puff of smoke, no smell of ozone, nothing to show how she achieved the trick.

"First I need some answers!" Good cheeseburger or no, Dean needed information if he wanted any chance of making it past Alena and co. "Where are Sam and Cas? Where am I? What did she do to my brain? What did you mean by 'last time'? And where are my weapons?!" His voice totally didn't get hysterical on that last one, shut it. Frankly, Dean couldn't figure out why he hadn't started on those earlier, but put it down to the staring, the concussion, and the flick from M. Either sister could rival Cas for time between blinks. (Being treated as prey shouldn't be new, and a concussion certainly wasn't, so what was the real reason? Maybe M did more than uncloak something in his brain.)

"Your companions are safely being entertained two holds over, though Castiel is proving an inconvenience." It kinda terrified Dean that Cas was only an inconvenience. "We are hosting you in a hidden glade near our hold in the Summerlands." Summerlands? Where the fuck is that? "Third, your weapons are safe, but removed for obvious reasons. We must compliment you on how many you were carrying. Many would clank most alarmingly if they tried that amount, but you were able to sneak around quite well. B is interested in learning the technique," Ana gestured to the air beside her and suddenly another person was in the glade, this time a man. He, too, was definitely maybe a sibling to Ana and M, but his hair was the purple of twilight and cut short, like Dean's. Wait a sec… even the guy's clothing matched Dean's in cut like he had cloned Dean's wardrobe and changed the colors to compliment his hair. He wasn't sharing the tattoos or piercings his sisters had that Dean could see, and had all of Dean's weapons laid out on a table, which had appeared a minute after the guy, who must be B.

Besides the singing Ana had done in the beginning, their magic acted a lot like Gabriel's when he was being the Trickster.

"Two guns, a taser, three knives, one of silver and one of bronze, feels like it's been blessed, a machete, two ziplocks of salt, pepper spray, engraved brass knuckles, telescoping baton, and the pièce de résistance: 2 yards of iron chain. By Oak and Ash this must have been heavy, is all of it necessary?" As he talked, B walked around his table and up to Dean's, with each step looking more and more like his sisters until B shared the family trait of having tits, though she kept the haircut. The clones of Dean's wardrobe oozed up her arms until she too was in a tee, jeans, and work boots. Her new shirt revealed that her version of the vertigo tattoo was made of blades and her visible piercings were silver with blood-red stones. Her tone, while changing pitch, had genuine curiosity behind it.

"They've been useful while hunting monsters. Was it really necessary to trick me with your gender if you were going to change right away?" Trying for nonchalance, he knew he had hit defensive. Shapechangers weirded him out ever since that one stole his face.

"You're male, therefore to get the weapons to hang right I had to be male. Tell me, why brass knuckles when iron would hurt ghosts more? I do envy you that silver knife, do you even know how old it is?" Again with the head tilt, like Dean was a puzzle to solve.

Wait…

"You WORE MY WEAPONS?! Strip me so I can't hurt you, sure! But you wore my weapons!" Dean was a reasonable man, but his stuff was his stuff was his stuff. Not even Sammy got free rein over his stuff! (okay Cas sometimes was allowed to move his things in his Baby, but he was Cas so go fuck yourself that's what).

There was a snort from his left as M entered the conversation, "We took your weapons so the Cù Sídhe didn't feel a need to rip your spine out through your stomach when you eventually decide to try escaping by "hurting" us." And wow, those were some sarcastic air quotes.

"Coo she? What the hell is a coo she?!" M just pointed at Alena, who was gazing unblinkingly at Dean from Ana's feet, and enunciated at him "Cù Sídhe." Oh. The big, some would call horse sized, dog was a special breed. And was glaring at him like he had kicked her puppy. Not good. Maybe now was the time to dust off the manners manual and make nice to the trio of scary ladies. Who all just smirked as he thought that… crap, they could read minds to some extent. The smiles grew downright predatory. Fuck.

Tentatively, Dean tried a new approach, "So all the animals," a growl from the closest cat stopped him, "Um, all the... Sídhe? in the clearing will probably rip my lungs out through my ass and leave the remains for those ravens if I don't make with the niceties." One of the biggest ravens he had ever seen landed on the back of Ana's chair (née divan, take that Sammy!) and started sizing him up. Great, even the birds were smarter than him. "So… want to tell me why you've gone to so much effort to talk to me by myself? And if you could elaborate on the 'last time' comment, that would be appreciated. Uh, your ladyships." Yep, Sam wasn't the only one who could put a pattern together from a line. If the preening was any indication, these ladies were use to formal address.

"Maybe I can stir our last talk back up for you," M observed as she got up and started walking towards Dean. "I'm surprised it stayed hidden from you for so long." Without waiting for a reply she flicked his temple and his senses whited out.

~We find ourselves in need of a mortal Champion, Dean Winchester. Personally I prefer a more hands on approach, but rules are rules~ the Terrifying Queen said ~The mortal needs to go through four Tasks before they can take on the Challenge. Companions are permitted to help, even one as unusual as a vassal of the Abrahamic god; however, you need to be the one completing the Task~ Sam was going to be a joy to live with when he heard that. ~Once you accept the first Task you are committing to finish the Task and becoming our Champion for the rest of your life. Do not tempt Fate by trying to breach the contract~ (Can't be worse than Hell.)

The Horrifying Queen's teeth look very sharp in her smile, ~We know of the Abrahamic Hell, and yes, we can make it worse~ (Oookay, that's scary and not at all ominous.)

Dean jerked away from M. "You know what? STOP THAT. Jesus! It's hard enough keeping up with you three with my brain intact! Then you come along and make things even crazier! Stop putting shit in my memory that wasn't there before!" A ripple went through the Sídhe in the clearing.

"Please refrain from bringing in the Christian lord's son, it upsets the Sídhe, what with his church doing its best to drive them out of their homes. As to your request," Ana looked at M, "she will refrain from that move for the moment, it obviously does more to waste time than save it." Ana could have been at a board meeting for the amount of excitement she showed, not being yelled at by a very jumpy hunter. "However, these are memories that you should have already been discovering. It has been two years since we last talked and we had set the spell to release six months afterwards." Frowning, she continued, "You should have been having dreams about it."

"Well, that's easy enough: I only dream of Hell, so I drink until I pass out most nights." He looked around at them, "You should get someone else, I'm way too fucked to be a Champion for you ladies."

"But there is no one else," M said, safely in his sight next to Ana. "We have used your line before because of how well they achieve their Tasks and because of the profound bond we share."

Dean stilled, "Excuse me?"

"You are ideal for our situation because you are descended from us."

He latched onto the thing that made the most sense. "Us? How am I descended from all three of you? Hold on, that's just too weird for me, having sex with your nephew."

"We are but three aspects of the same great Lady," B stepped in, "there are more, but the poor dears are tired from their turn. A babe from one of us is a child of all. You are the descendant of our child Scáthach and the great hero Cú Chulainn."

"Are those names suppose to mean anything?"

Back to M "You've fought "supernatural"" those fucking air quotes "creatures all you life, you've even spat in the eye of the ranking angel, you've talked to both your grandfathers after they had died, and yet you know nothing of your heritage, nothing of the birthright you've inherited." That eyeroll must have hurt. "No wonder those wavelengths could play you like a game of fidhcheall."

"Yeah, well, that's what happens when your mom FUCKING DIES when you're four," Dean jumped up and yelled at the three monsters in front of him, heedless of all the Cù Sídhe and Cait Sídhe who rose up with him.

A flash of regret passed over M's face. "If we could have prevented the death of Mary Campbell we would have. Unfortunately we were in the nadir of our power when she made her deal with Azazel." M looked sharply to Dean's left, "Stad!" Dean was calm enough to notice how close one of the big cats was to chomping on his clenched fist. At the command all the Sídhe stopped moving towards Dean. So to get the Sídhe's attention, don't rely on English.

Ana did a twisting motion with her right hand and the glade changed. His table was gone, replaced by a couch, each sister had an armchair, and there was a fire pit in the center. The Sídhe were still present, but outside of the circle of furniture.

Ana frowned at Dean over the fire, "It is clear we must start at a different point. We need a mortal, ideally you, to act for us on the mortal plane."

"Give me one good reason I should work for the monsters I hunt."

B's lips peeled back into a growl at the monster comment, but Ana held up a placating hand while M took the conversation thread, "The "Heavenly Host"," still sarcastic, must be her only finger setting, "in trying to end the world, upset some very delicate systems that were already fraying because of their gods' negligence. We have the power to fix it, but we need a Champion to act for us. If we were to directly apply our power, it would be like performing brain surgery with a claymore: the patient could survive, but their reality would be changed."

"Your angel didn't help matters when siadsan ripped a way into Purgatory," B spat at him. "Now an old Enemy is waking and testing the strength of his bonds. So really, we're offering you a chance to clean up your mess." Shit, her teeth are getting pointier. Way to piss off the supercharged triplets.

Ana shot B a warning look, "The reward for helping us is substantial, besides preventing Ragnarök."

"Bullshit."

Ana just sighed, "We will give you a month to make a final decision." Another hand movement and the clearing filled with a dense fog.

"Wait! How do I…"