White walls surround us
No light will touch your face again
Rain taps the window
As we sleep among the dead
~Anthem of the Angels
AN: Just to clarify one thing before you start reading. The prologue took place a little over a year after the movie; so around January of 2007. This chapter, as you can see, starts in February of 2007.
Thank you once again to grumblebear for her help on this chapter. I think I would have scrapped it otherwise.
I Will Not Bow
Chapter One: Therapy
From the audio files of Dr. Andrew Benson:
February 15, 2007
"Oh, um, is this going to be recorded?"
"Yes, of course. All of your sessions will be. Unless you would like them not to be."
"No. No. It's fine. I-I don't mind."
"So, talk to me Lisa."
"What do you want me to talk about?"
"Whatever you like. Why don't you start from the beginning."
"From the, um, rape?"
"If you would like."
"I'm not sure-"
"Lisa. I'm only here to help you. But in order for me to do that, I need you to help me. You can trust me."
Silence. "It happened four years ago in a grocery store parking lot. He was just standing next to his car. His hood was up so I couldn't see his face. It was quick, painful. He held a knife to my throat the entire time."
"Was he ever found?"
"No. I, um, never reported it. I didn't feel I could trust anyone. Not the police. Not even my own father."
"But he knows about it now."
"Y-yes. He found out after the attack at the house."
"When Jackson Rippner attacked you?"
"I-I don't want to talk about him." Pause. "I'm sorry. I'm tired. Can I go now?"
"Of course. Sleep well, Lisa."
April 28, 2007
"How are the nightmares, Lisa?"
"Better. I don't wake up as often as I used to. They're not as vivid as they were."
"Nurse McCoy says that you've been sleeping all the way through most nights. Is that true?"
Silence. "I think so. I mean, it's so hard to tell now. I've had nightmares for years after the first attack. I don't think I have any normal dreams anymore."
Scratching. "Is it always the same dream?"
"Yes." Pause. " No."
"No?"
"I mean, it is, but it isn't."
"What do you mean, Lisa?"
"It's the same scene over and over. It's the first attack; the. . .rape. It's the same guy at first. His face is in shadows, but I can tell it's him. And then the shadows shift and it's. . ." Silence.
"Jackson Rippner?"
"I don't want to talk about this anymore. Can we stop?"
"Of course, Lisa. We'll stop here."
June 30, 2007
"Today I would like to talk about something that makes you uncomfortable, Lisa."
"And what is that Dr. Benson?" Rustle.
"Jackson Rippner."
Deep inhalation. "I'm not sure-"
"We'll have to talk about him eventually."
"I-I know."
"He can't hurt you, Lisa. Talking about him will not bring him back."
Another deep breath. "I know. I just-" Pause. "I can't. I can't talk about him when he's still here."
Silence. A creak. "What do you mean? How is he still here?"
"Everywhere I go I see him. I hear his voice whispering in my ear. He's there when I wake up. He's there when I go to sleep. He won't leave me alone!"
"How long have you been seeing him?"
A short burst of laughter. "You make it sound like we're dating."
"You know what I mean, Lisa."
Silence. "I know."
"So how long?"
"I don't know. About a year? I would see him in my room at night when I was going to sleep. He would be standing right next to me in a crowded room. I could be out to dinner alone and he would appear in the chair next to me just carrying on a conversation that we never had. And then he's gone.
"But he's always there when I go to sleep." Sob. "Can we stop?"
"Of course."
September 3, 2007
"It was about two years ago. The flight and then the attack at my father's house. I was scared out of my mind. I wasn't sure what to do."
"But you did something, didn't you? Jackson Rippner was killed."
"I don't want to talk about him."
"Okay. How did his attack on you and your father make you feel?"
A deep breath. "Frightened. Powerless."
"Powerless, that's a good description." Scratch. "How did he make you feel that way?"
"He knew everything about me. He followed me for eight weeks before and I never knew."
"But you were able to take the power back."
"Yes."
"Tell me about that."
"When Jac-ah, when he attacked me in the airplane bathroom he found the scar. I told him what happened when the plane started to land."
"You told him of the rape?"
"Yes, as a distraction. When the seat belt sign turned off I stabbed him in the throat with a pen that I had stolen from some teenager a couple rows behind me."
Pause. "You. . .stabbed him in the throat?"
"With the pen. In the hollow of the throat right here? It, ah, it was just the windpipe. It didn't kill him."
"Then what happened?"
"I ran. I had to make sure that my dad was okay. He chased me through the airport and then followed me home. He chased me through the house as well, confronted me in my old room. In the end I shot him. All I could think of was that I couldn't let him come near me again." Pause. "And I couldn't let him leave."
"What happened after that?"
"The police came. The ambulance took him and that was the last I saw him. A few weeks later I heard on the news that he had died from the injuries. I thought I was safe and then everything started. He was just-I just. . .I'm sorry."
"It's okay Lisa. We can stop here for today."
The tape was turned off. Silence resounded in the room. A grin lit humorless lips. Oh this was going to be so easy.
And so much fun.
AN: Tada! And a new chapter was posted. I started to write Always (which I am still working on.) when I heard Anthem of the Angels and suddenly got inspired for this chapter. This one chapter has gone through several re-writes and I think I am happy with what came out. I have never written anything like this (I tend to like writing descriptions and it was killing me not writing them in) so let me know what you think. I hope that all of you like it.