Mad World, Chapter Two: My Curse
I watched you walk away
Helpless, with nothing to say
I strain my eyes
Hoping to see you again
This is my curse (the longing)
This is my curse (time)
This is my curse (the yearning)
This is my curse
There is love burning to find you
Will you wait for me?
Will you be there?
Your silence haunts me
But still I hunger for you
This is my curse (the wanting)
This is my curse (time)
This is my curse (the needing)
This is my curse
There is love burning to find you
Will you wait for me?
Still I want
And still I ache
But still I wait
To see you again
Dying, inside, these walls (2x)
And I see your face in these tears, In these fears
And I see your face...
There is love (8x)
A loud snarl springs unbidden from my throat, and my body jerks forward of its own accord. Emmett's eyes widen as suddenly I slam into him, knocking him over effortlessly. The smell is too powerful to resist. I am out of my rational mind.
I need the blood.
Before I can make it to the human, Emmett catches my leg and drags me backwards with a mighty heave. Growling ferociously, I reach back and catch him with a right hook to the face, catching him off-guard. He immediately loosens his grip, and my sights are set back on the human boy. He is stunned, unable to move as I lunge for him, fear obvious in his deep green eyes.
So close. I can practically taste his blood when a voice from behind has me skidding to a halt.
"Bella! What the hell are you doing?" Emmett screams. His voice is high, hysterical, and it brings me crashing back down to Earth. His voice brings sanity. Emmett is my friend. Emmett is my friend. Mt mind is spinning as I struggle to regain control, fighting back the rush of pure instinct that roars at me to take the human in front of me and drain him. I am only barely aware that my hand is fisted in his t-shirt, holding him, trapping him before me. His rushing heartbeat is dizzyingly tantalizing, calling to me.
Singing to me.
That's it. The boy is my singer. I have heard of such humans, ones with blood that is irresistible to certain vampires. This must be the case, for even my steely self control almost failed me when I smelled him so close. Now, it is pure torture to resist. I cannot make my fist let go.
Emmett is stalking towards me and the human is struggling wildly in my grip, fear and anger pouring off of him to mix with the aroma of his sweet red nectar. It isn't helping. His attempts to flee only heighten my predatory instincts. Unknowingly, he is putting his life in much more danger now.
"Stay still!" I hiss from between my teeth. I refuse to breathe, knowing doing so would cause me to attack his vulnerable throat. So close. I want it so bad, but I can't hurt Emmett. The boy finally is still, breathing hard and watching me fearfully. He doesn't scream.
"Bella," Emmett says in a low voice. He is close behind me, but wisely keeping his distance. The knowledge of another predator being so close to my prey makes me angry, but I shove the fury down along with the thirst. Control.
"Let him go," Emmett commands, earning a quiet growl from my throat. I can't let him go. He is mine. His blood is mine. Emmett wants him so he can have the blood for himself. He wants the blood…
No. It isn't true. This is just the predator talking. Even in my current state, I can tell Emmett is genuinely concerned for this boy. The human means something to him. It must be one of the family. The one I came to save. To condemn.
"Singer," I spit out, not trusting myself to open my mouth any longer. The human's taste is on my tongue and against my teeth. His eyes bore into me, and there is terror in them. It feeds some kind of sick happiness in me, seeing him so afraid and helpless in my grasp.
Emmett understands, and his voice is more gentle but also more afraid. "Please, let him go, Bella," he whispers. He shuffles forward, and though I tense up instinctively, I don't attack. Control is mine once more, though it is a delicate hold. Emmett is now close enough to touch me, and I flinch at his hand on my shoulder.
"Please, Bells," he mummers, calling me by his favorite nickname from so many years ago. "Don't hurt him. He's her brother. Don't do this to her. To me. Let him go."
I want to, but I just can't. It's too much to handle. My whole body shakes with indecision, betraying my inner struggle. Emmett is…my…friend… And with that in mind, I shove the human backwards forcefully, sending him flying into the wall of the house. There is a dull thud as his head hits, and a whoosh of air being forced from his lungs. Thankfully, he is not cut, and it is a relief to have him farther away. But Emmett tenses with worry, and beyond my selfish happiness I can see that the boy's green eyes are rolling back into his head, a low groan escapes his lips. I threw him too hard, forgetting how fragile he was. His head hit the wall, again, too hard. He slumps to the ground, unconscious.
But not dead.
The door opens and suddenly there are more humans, rushing over to the motionless singer and crying out with worry. A tall, blonde man kneels beside the unconscious boy, checking his pulse and inspecting his head. I know he will be fine, though he'll probably have a splitting headache when he wakes up. I might feel bad for hurting him if I wasn't entirely focused on not killing him. Even with him far away, it's a struggle to stay still.
One human, smaller than the rest, is glaring daggers at me. Unlike the others, her eyes are on me and not the hurt one. Her short, spiked hair and petite frame do nothing to mark her as any kind of threat, but the intensity in her gaze is surprising. Still, I'm a monster, and my eyes are scarier. I see her shudder slightly as my flame colored eyes find hers, staring her into submission. No one can engage in an intimidation battle with a vampire and win.
Emmett alone stays away from the gathering. I can sense he is still watching me, and reluctantly I turn to meet his golden eyes. They are a collideascope of emotions. Pain, fear, anger, sorrow. They are all mixed into his burning stare, and I feel awful for having made them this way.
"I'm sorry, Emmett," I say in a low voice, too quiet for the humans to hear. "For almost killing him, not for coming here. Regardless of how you feel, a decision must be made. Decide, or I will." Immediately I shake off the regret and get back to business. Leave it to me to switch from an apology to a threat in the same breath.
Speaking of breath, I carefully suck one in through my teeth, losing myself temporarily in the powerful lure of the blood. I can do this. I may be a heartless monster, but damnit I'm a monster with control.
Emmett's eyes darken with obvious grief, but I refuse to back down. Emmett needs to stop being such a soft-hearted fool. Turn the humans or kill them. Better yet, don't get involved in the first place. Loving someone brings only pain in the long run.
"Can-can I just have a few days? You know, to decide?" he pleads, wringing his hands nervously. I have never seen Emmett look so vulnerable. So torn. It's unsettling, but I again stand firm. I don't have time to care about anyone, even my only friend.
"Please? For me, Isabella," Emmett whispers, soft even by vampire standards. The humans are still blabbering on in the back ground, all but the girl called Rosalie. She is watching Emmett and I, fear and confusion written on her face, blue eyes cloudy. I don't care at all if she dies or not, but Emmett does. She has a family. I don't like the idea of giving in to this foolishness, but I've always had a soft spot for Emmett. I sigh.
"I'll be back tomorrow." I growl, loud enough for the humans to hear. They all turn to look at me, watching fearfully. I'm glad they're afraid. They should be. "Tomorrow night, and I won't be so lenient again, Emmett." My eyes narrow to dark red slits, emphasizing my meaning. Emmett just nods enthusiastically, relief flooding his features.
"Thank you, thank you Bella," he breathes. He looks as if he is going to embrace me, but I turn sharply on my heel and stalk off, putting my back to Emmett and his stupid human family. They make me angry, these helpless creatures that should be dead by now. Dead or damned. I hate them for turning Emmett against me
And above all I hate my singer. For tempting me with his ungodly smell, for torturing me by belonging to Emmett and therefore being untouchable. For being…beautiful?
I shake that last though out of my head, quickly getting into my car and slamming the door shut. Everyone is watching me, save the unconscious one. The blonde girl is hanging onto Emmett who refuses to meet her eyes. The small one glares at me still, though she cannot possibly see my face through the tinted windows. She has fire in her, I decide. She'll make a good vampire.
Unlike her brother. I wish I could keep him human. It is an interesting idea, and I toy with the notion as I race away from the house. To keep him for myself, to be able to feed from him from time to time. If only I was strong enough, because deep down I knew if I tried, I'd end up draining him. It was just too much to handle. Even thinking about it makes my hands tighten on the wheel, leaving small impressions. My eyes burn, and I pull sharply off the road, pulling into the woods, not caring if I damage the car.
I need to hunt. Right. Now.
Trees fly by. My feet ghost over the ground, making absolutely no sound. It's as if I'm a phantom, the way I move. The grace of a killer. I have found a scent that I like, and I glide effortlessly towards the human who is unlucky enough to be out alone here in these woods. His smell is dusty, but full of promise. A young male. I spot him hiking up over a hill, sweating profusely from the exertion. A ridiculous baseball cap is perched upon his head, making him look stupid. He's plain, nothing worth staring at, except perhaps for his bright blue eyes. They are like sapphires.
He is unaware of my presence - his weak human senses failing to protect him from me as I stalk towards him. All is quiet. This isn't even necessary. I could simply call out to him, for my physical beauty would probably bring him willingly to my arms, being that he is a male and I am not a mortal. Stupid humans. They all fall for the mask. The deception. But it's more fun to stalk because it brings out the predator begging to be released. And so, I let it go.
A hand slips around his neck, pulling him back and down. A leg swipes his feet out from under him, and he screams as he is trapped in my unyielding grip, struggling uselessly. His arms flail about, his eyes go wild. Pathetic. The inner monster loves how he wiggles futilely, having no chance of escaping from my hold. I'm far too strong for him. For anyone.
His fear scent makes me shudder, loving the power and control I feel. There is something disgustingly pleasing about having something at my mercy, beneath my fangs. But I must end it now before his screams attract attention. With a practiced lunge, my teeth find the pulsing vein in his throat and sink in effortlessly. I can't even hear his final shrieks of agony, so consumed am I by the warm blood pouring down my throat. Dampening my thirst.
But it is not enough.
It's not good enough.
It is disgusting.
I drink the human dry despite my frustration, snarling gutturally as I toss the limp body into the trees. His blood was not enough. Foul, compared to the blood I now crave. The blood I cannot stop thinking about, imagining it running down my throat and washing over my fangs and tongue.
The green-eyed one. He is all I want now. Another furious growl bubbles from my throat as I storm back towards my car. The dead man lays lifelessly in the woods behind me, already forgotten. Never before have I been so dissatisfied with my hunt. Blood tastes like dirt in my mouth, now that I know what it could be. I knock over a small tree with an angry swipe, my mind savage. I want that stupid boy. I must have him. If it wasn't for Emmett, I'd have him already.
Emmett. That was the problem. He probably wouldn't give up his human so easily, and I didn't know if I could take it without his permission.
I can. I want it too badly. Too badly to let it all go. I hunger for that one. Thirst for him like no other. He is like heroin, and I an addict. I want him with me, struggling in my grasp while I press my lips to his vulnerable jugular and suck. Suck all the life out of him, claim his perfect blood as my own. I would do it. If only…
Forcefully I push the bloodlust back, taking deep breaths to calm myself. Even though I don't need air, it helps. The thirst is duller at least, though I know nothing will ever satisfy me like his blood could. I want it more than I've ever wanted anything. It was practically a need.
My car roars to life and I speed back up the road, giving in at least a little bit to the hunger raging in my cold, dead heart. I just wanted to talk to Emmett. Or so I told myself.
The forest shimmers gold as I fly down the road. It's almost twilight. Hovering on the edge of day and night. I wish it was dark already, for the dark is where I am at home. It is the time of monsters. I didn't even realize It'd been such a long time since I'd left, the hours seeming more like seconds to my eternal self.
My hands clench and unclench in anticipation as I park the car a few hundred yards down the road from the house. I want to see how they act when they don't know I'm there. Hopefully Emmett wouldn't hear me sneaking around…
God. The smell. It hits me as soon as I open the door. It's like swallowing nails, the way it tears up my throat and brings the thirst back with a vengeance. It's only slightly better since I fed, but I'm grateful for the small relief.
Still, my body reacts on its own, sending me slinking through the dense trees to the side of the house, staying low and quiet. Again, I am a ghost. Just a bad dream. The smell carries me forward, unable to break its hold on me. He is co close.
To hell with Emmett. The boy must be mine. I don't deny the fact that I am a heartless, selfish brute. I am more than willing to hurt my friend, my only friend, to have this blood. I just have to drain him.
And I will. I will wait until night has completely blanketed the forest, and then I will take him, cutting of his air so that he cannot scream. I'll take him deep into the woods before I let him go, allow him to try to run. But he stands no chance. I only let him to make it more fun for me. I will catch him, and I will see the fear light up those beautiful green eyes as my fangs plunge into his skin and take the blood he has teased me with. Oh yes. And finally I shall have it.
With my plan decided, I hunker down into the branches of a nearby tree and prepare to wait. The time seems to drag now, stressed as I am. I feel an underlying sense of shame, knowing that Emmett won't forgive me for this. Ever. But I can't help it, I tell myself. It is out of my hands.
I can hear the humans, listen to them talk worriedly with Emmett as he tries to explain the situation to them I have almost forgotten, so wrapped up in the bloodlust was I. But then I realize I had promised to help Emmett, and in only a few minutes I was going to betray him. It is hard to rationalize this time. I didn't really want to hurt Emmett… And even now the humans are crying and groaning and sighing in pain and I can sense his distress. It is hurting him.
I will hurt him.
Suddenly, there is a new sound coming from the house. A slow, melancholy tune plays itself out beautifully, sinking and twisting and embodying obvious pain. It is enchanting, and I want to know what it is. What makes these grievous tunes that twist at even my still heart?
A piano, I realize moments later. The sound is hauntingly familiar, though surely it has been years since I've heard one. It speaks to me, for once quieting the bloodlust and drawing me closer still. It comes from a lighted room, the only one besides the family room. An open window looks to be the best bet, and under cover of the shadow you spring up soundlessly, hoisting yourself up. The smell paralyzes me and I nearly fall off the window sill in shock. It's so strong, like a punch to the face.
And there he is. My singer, playing the lonely notes on the keyboard that cause my undead soul to ache. He is bent over the keys, long, elegant fingers running fluidly across the black and white. It is hypnotizing. His heavenly smell and his pained music, combining in my head and creating a plethora of emotions I cannot even begin to understand. I can only watch, staring at his flawless hands and seeing the shadows play across his rusty mane of hair. Suddenly, I don't just want his blood.
I want all of him.
And then the notes are no longer melodious, they are a cacophony of chaos. The sound snaps me from my daze and I am suddenly staring deep into the emerald eyes of my prey. My prey. He stares over his shoulder at me, mouth agape and fingers fisted onto the keys, creating the awful noise. I smell his terror, his shock.
Without another thought, I fling myself at him, getting a hand over his mouth before he can scream for help. My arm loops around his waist, pulling his back flush against my chest and sending a jolt of electricity through my body. It is like handling fire, his skin thrums so under my touch. It makes me dizzy and painfully aware at the same time. He wisely chooses not to fight back, maybe remembering what had happened the last time I held him in my grasp.
Never has he been this close. My throat is scorched and aching, begging for him. My mouth swells with venom, but I cannot bring myself to bite. The music still echoes in my mind, mixing with his haggard breathing and frantic heartbeat. It is too much. So much. Not enough. I resist the urge to taste his skin, wanting so badly to run my tongue across his cheek or neck. Just to have his taste somewhere in my mouth. I want it, but I make myself wait.
Emmett must be pretty distracted to not notice the two of us up here, but all the better. I'm not sure how much I can handle before this strange, unwanted resistance snaps. I can feel him flinch slightly as my hands grip his fragile form to tightly, bruising him. Marking him. I like that idea. He should be mine, and everyone should know that. I have no idea where all these feelings are coming from, and quite frankly it was making me angry. He shifts slightly in my hold, trying to lessen the pain I'm sure I'm causing him. But he is hurting me too.
I don't know what to do now. Should I take him? Drain him? Leave? I stand stock still, indecision paralyzing me. Finally, against my better judgment, I speak to him, letting my breath tickle his neck. "Behave, and I'll let you go," I hiss. "Say nothing unless I ask you to. I'm not afraid to hurt you."
That's a lie.
But he is quiet as I let my hand fall from his lips, and he does nothing but rub his skin where I have hurt him when I let him go. I don't feel bad that I've hurt him, I tell myself. My eyes burn into him, analyzing every move he makes, hypnotized again. I can tell he is afraid to turn and face me, but I spin him around easily with one cold hand. Green eyes like purest jade stir insanity in the heart I know to be dead. Skin nearly as pale as my own calls sweetly to me, mocking me for being so unable to take the blood it conceals. A body worthy of a statue, a Greek hero with long limbs and strong arms and chiseled features. Almost vampiric in it's beauty. But no. The smell is upon me, and if I still had the need to breathe I would be suffocating right now.
I want to hear him speak. To see if his voice is as beautiful as the rest of him. I know I am pushing my luck with Emmett so close downstairs, but I can't resist. Just like the rest of him, I am helpless to resist. "What is your name, human?" I ask in my silky, melodic voice. Just another seemingly attractive quality granted by immortality. Another façade to draw a human nearer.
His face shows a flash of surprise, then returns to the look of fear and…anger? Perhaps. He eyes scream defiance, but he does as I ask. A smart choice, considering I wouldn't take disobedience well right now. Even if his bravery is a bit…interesting.
"Edward," he says finally, and I struggle not to shiver at the sound. His voice is indeed wonderful, a tribute to the rest of him. I suddenly rethink my ridiculous assumption that the piano sounded beautiful. No, this here was true beauty. And I want it for my own.
"Edward," I repeat, noticing he watches my lips as they move, parting to reveal perfect white teeth, and he is surely afraid. For some reason this makes me smile, drawing my lips even further back, stretched taught and showing off even more of my teeth. He shivers, and I wonder if he knows how much these teeth ache to be buried in him. Probably not, or he would have run screaming. Though he is certainly braver than I thought.
I start to say more, wanting to tell him how much I desire him, but suddenly a loud, angry voice distracts me. At first I cringe, thinking perhaps Emmett is finally aware of my presence here, but no. I finally register the words, and in a flash I am flying back through the window, leaving a stupefied Edward behind. Hit the ground running quite literally, moving to head off the car coming up the road as quickly as I can. Hoping I make it in time.
As my feet touch pavement, a bright red Ferrari comes screeching around the corner, heading for me. I don't move. I instead slam one hand into the hood of the car since it cannot stop fast enough to avoid me. The metal gives easily around my diamond skin, crunching and concaving and ultimately creating quite a blemish on the once beautiful car. I don't care, I am only worried about the driver and passengers.
A blonde male vampire springs from the car, hissing angrily as he surveys the damaged car. His blazing eyes find mine and he flinches when he sees they are a thousand times more furious than his own. Two others emerge from the ruined car, eying me just as warily. They probably don't recognize me, since I have only been general a month. But it matters not, for I will tell them, and I will make them leave.
"I am Isabella Volturi, General of the Guard!" I spit, clenching my fists and no doubt looking the spitting image of a monster. The three vampires let their jaws fall open in shock, speechless and probably terrified. "Identify yourselves!"
The blonde one, obviously the leader, snaps out of the daze. His eyes are wide and he shakes with fear, but addresses me courageously. "My name is Jasper, and these two are Sam and Quil." The other two are still struck dumb, but I pay them no attention.
"why are you here?" I ask, suddenly whispering. I know the reason, but I don't want to believe it. I though I'd have more time. I'd forgotten that luck was never on my side.
The leader, Jasper, confirms my fears and seals his fate in one sentence. "We're here to kill Emmett McCarty."