Shylight Chapter 2 (To also be read in an emo accent)
The following Monday Deadward returned to school. The winds of change were whisking up the fallen yellow leaves and the same feeling through his sullen heart. He sensed that the asphyxiatingdarkness may soon be lifted like the veil of a bride on her forsaken binding day. The next moment a sleazy, white van hustled through the scummy Sporks High parking lot dodging students like an asylum escapee leaps from its captors. The vehicle had the words "CONTAINS PUPPIES" printed on the side in official looking black letters, blurred by its velocity. Miss Annabell Goose bent down to tie a rainbow-plaid shoe and settled directly in its path. The horrible mechanical monster sped along in her direction. It was just about ready to consume her beneath its rubbery wheels of fatality when she looked up and let out a thunderous scream. Time decelerated. Destiny was coming for her and candy, spewing from the windows of the van, took out on- looking bystanders. In the very last seconds the truck swerved out of the way and ploughed directly into Deadward.
The next thing he knew the scrawny vampire was sailing weightlessly through the air and the entire school behind him had burst with giggles of glee such as: "Ha-ha, that kid is flying" and "Yes, he is in the air". But Deadward was only a fledgling for a few more moments until he came crashing down to a leafy clearing in the forest and fell into the soggy, verdant foliage. He twitched for several minutes after his landing and was bit by a fluffy, white bunny which then scampered off into the brush. The last thing he saw was the world locking up its light in the forbidden box of mysterious stuff; pondering if the sexy cannibals of death would soon come to tear him limb from limb.
"Helloo? Are yoou ookay," piped that appalling Minnesota accent that sounded as if one had placed an ear adjacent to a buzz saw on steroids that liked to yell things at small children. Deadward groaned in agony then opened his dazzlingly hollowed eyes. Annabell was hovering over him with a ridiculous look on her face. She was staring straight at his fangs. Deadward didn't care. He was preoccupied enough with being swallowed alive by the viscous forest mud that apparently had a voracious appetite for young boys in tight pants. When Deadward did not respond she backed up a bit and began to look around at squirrels falling out of the trees. "I think a storm's coming she muttered."
A few moments of silence had passed. Then without a stitch of warning the quiet was shattered like the fallow bone of a clown tumbling down an elevator shaft. "VILE MUD CONCOCTION," Deadward howled, while catching the attention of the entire forest clearing with words sparkling like stars, "we are both forsaken to wither in the sun! But before you claim me I shall make my final mark in this world!" An extremely serious look grew across his face. His eyes squinted, the skin around his mouth grew taught, and he began to wave his arms and legs up and down wildly in all intentions of making a mud angel. As suddenly as it had started, the flailing ceased and Annabell, from a distance, looked apprehensively across to where he rested. Deadward then miraculously freed himself from the mud began rolling furiously about the clearing. He took down saplings and leveled shrubs and the happy pink wild flowers he instantly loathed so much because of their happy, preppy, peppiness. Finally he concluded with the avid chase and eventual flattening of the fluffy rabbit that had bit him earlier, while whispering words of sweet revenge. He then stood and glared at her and then in every direction because he had a concussion from his fall. He glared at the trees, the flattened rabbit, at the mud, and finally back to Annabell.
For a moment no one spoke but the wind. Then Annabell lifted her tiny voice. Deadward had been dreading this moment since she had arrived in Sporks. He glowered through the eye uncovered by inky bangs and held his breath. "You're incredibly emaciated and emotionally unstable," she said. "Your pale skin makes me question if yoou recently escaped a potato famine. Your eyes are blurple and of instead of talking you hiss at me. You smash your face into food and while you sleep at lunch your brothers pour milk into your nose. When the sun comes out you make gurgling noises and hide under bushes…How old are you?" "VAMPIRE," Deadward shouted and tottered about, still dizzy and twitching from his concussion. Annabell stared at him; confused beyond all recognition. "No I meant- "A WHILE," Deadward blurted out. "I'VE COME TO UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE," she raised her voice! "SEVENTEEN," yelled Deadward. "Yeah well n-""VAMPIRE!" "EXACTLY!" cried Annabell! "SEVENTEEN," bellowed Deadward again. "Deadward," she commanded, "A WHILE" hollered the gaunt vampire and then smashed his face into an angry looking tree.
He was once again on the ground. Blurple stared up at brown. Deadward's dizziness passed momentarily. "You…really believe you understand meh," he asked? "Perhaps," uttered Annabell and put out a doodled-on hand which he accepted on his way to his feet. "Then interrogate me to the deepest depths of my soul, which contain voices that tell me to throw rocks at old people…what is it that I feed on???" Her eyes grew doe like. "Yoou're too frail…"she murmured… "Whaaaat," he whined in a declaratory fashion. "Blood," she said almost as a wisp of air. Deadward looked up at her, through his brow, as if insulted.
"No you crazy floozy I'm a vegan, blood is for brainless conformists." "Soo…like, yoou eat, like… cauliflower" she questioned? NO! Well, everything but that, Cauliflower makes snakes explode." "Oh, ookay," said Annabell. "So do you like really accept meh as, like, not just some freaky weird kid who gets hit by cars and bound and gagged by his family when he can't stop spazing from the unmentionable abysmal abyss of unreachable pity, sorrow and sometimes poetic irony in which I have fallen, " he asked shyly in a feather soft voice. "Yoou bet-cha," Annabell exclaimed then winked! Deadward cringed but figured she was the only one in Sporks that would even come close to understanding his foreign ways. "Come and see," he yelled, at the top of this ridge," he grabbed her by the hand and dragged her along behind him on the forest floor over rocks and pointed sticks and a couple of dead animals," there's something I need you to see!" "What," she exclaimed happily!?
Annabell couldn't believe it an' stuff . She was completely under the influence oof of his delicate features and sooper juicy butt, which she had a fabulous view of from here. HAWT. He was too-tally the most goorgeous boy she had ever seen, don't cha know. She was transfixed by his alluring charm; as if in a trance. She just drug along behind him on the ground looking at his beautiful frame in complete serenity. All sound was froozen and time sloowed. Annabell smiled up at him the whole way, oover twigs and roots and the caucus of a dead deer: and he was beautiful the whole entire time.
Finally they reached the top. Deadward compulsively took a worn down looking spot and began muttering to himself. He pulled a shabby piece of paper from his pocket and gazed longingly at it with a single neglected tear in his luminously, depressing eye. He recited:
what have you ruined?
a dim and ghostly cloud of abandonment
hovers over us as perceptions diminish.
once we drank of paradise,
wide-eyed and innocent, like children,
but your heart soured
and you fell away as
a frail morass of bitterness.
and it vanished;
our life before this -
drops of blood follow bone, follow death,
love burnt to ashes
flew away to an unfamiliar city,
in a torrent of sorrow,
i still love you.
"I just crapped my pants," said Annabell, It's so beautiful." She looked over at him eagerly. "Was it for-"
"No, not for you, replied Deadward, "for…someone else." They both shared a moment of distaste. A vulture plummeted from out of the sky and its head fell off. "I have something to show you," he said. "This is…the reason why we can't be seen in the sunlight. He paused for a moment. The normal folk would throw things at us. One time my brother Wilbur got a cat stuck to his butt for about a week. This is the extent of our curse..."
He flung off his shirt to reveal a surprisingly built body for such a scrawny, skeletal frame. Abruptly the wind picked up in the bushes and foot steps could be heard all around. At first nothing was seen as their source. Then the clouds parted and the sunlight hit his pale, pastel skin. The daylight lit up his whole face; it was ghostly and pure. The grey eye shadow on his wide lids glittered. The contrast between his black hair and white body was blinding. He let out a sigh as if anticipating the worst. Then the wind bellowed more violently and the bushes rattled. Finally it came.
"OH YEAH TAKE IT OFF BABY! WHOO!" Suddenly they were encircled by stylishly dressed, well groomed, extremely attractive men, each standing about 30 yards away in every conceivable direction. "OH YEAH," Each shouted one at a time. There were so many of them. Where did they all come from? Annabell tossed these questions through her head like a hamster being flung from its wheel. "What's going on I don't understand, Deadward," blared out Annabel but her cries were over shadowed amongst the mellow ruckus. "CHECK YOU OUT," one shouted
"THIS IS WHAT I AM," roared Deadward. The men began samba dancing around them in horrible circles. The voices grew louder and louder as if to drown the world in argyle sweater vests and chocolate loafers. Deadward's world began spinning at vomit inducing speeds and his life flashed before his eyes. He saw the cow he petted last week. He saw His adopted parents and siblings barking at the television set like walruses. He saw himself feeding cauliflower to snakes in Ireland. He saw his brother S-….Annabell? Her face was flashing through his memories. He could hear distant thunder somewhere very, very far away… but the words "YOU BET-CHA," echoed round and round inside his head. He confronted, miserably, that his time here was not over. He woke up later, in a hospital bed, with his brother Wilbur staring at him with cheese-curls stuffed up his nose.
A.N. yup