Qoheleth: I sincerely hope your review was meant to be an attempt at humour in keeping with the theme of my story. If not, then I hope you realise that if you read a story labelled 'parody' you may safely assume that it is AU and the author will not need to re-write the history of Arda to suit the needs of their parody.
Blithesome: I will not lie to you – I spent a good five minutes laughing at that as well... who
says an author can't laugh at their own jokes!
Guest: Indeed, dub step Gandalf does sound entertaining. And Sauron certainly does possess a phone – he has to entertain himself somehow, doesn't he?
Lord of The Ringtones
Chapter 2:
The five wraiths rode swiftly and silently across the land, easily navigating their way through the forest. All of a sudden, the rider at the head of the group came to a halt and the others followed suit to avoid a collision. From where they were, they could see the ruins of the Watchtower of Amun Sul, and the bright orange flames flickering on a ledge near the top. As they watched, voices could be heard yelling and the fire was hurriedly put out. They urged their steeds forwards, spreading out so as to approach their target in a circle formation, leaving little chance of escape.
….
Frodo awoke to the chattering of his fellow hobbits. When he rolled over to tell them to be quiet, and saw the fire they had made, he jumped up and ran over to them.
"Put it out, you fools!" he yelled, stamping on the flames, "Put it out!"
The last flame died out, and they held their breath, waiting for any sound of approaching attackers. Just when they had begun to relax, a shrill screech tore through the air. The Hobbits ran to the edge of the tower and watched in horror as five shadows on horseback drew closer to them. They turned and ran up the stairs to the very top level and drew their little swords in readiness.
….
"Turn it off!" yelled one of the wraiths, after his initial surprise had worn off. The rider he had addressed had released the reigns of his horse and was fumbling among the many layers of his black robes. Eventually, he found what he was looking for and pulled out his phone. It became apparent to the other three riders that it was the phone which was emitting the screeching noise. Their companion finally pressed the 'Decline' button and the noise ended. All heads turned toward the perpetrator, who pointedly looked in the other direction.
"Why in the name of Sauron's undergarments is that your ring tone?" hissed one.
"This is the third time you've given us away with that blessed screeching!" snarled another.
"We can argue about this later!" shouted the wraith who had spoken first, "We have a job to do – reclaim the One Ring." The others nodded in agreement, dismounting their horses and drawing their swords.
…..
I was going to write a bit more for this one... but I think the Ringwraiths will make a reappearance later!
I had to re-write bits of it b/c I suddenly remembered that there are only 5 of the Nazgul on Weathertop, oops!*
Please Review if you read !
Meg xxx