Disclaimer: Castle and the recognizable characters are property of the folks at ABC and their creators who make a lot more money than I do. This is for pure entertainment purposes.

First off, Happy 2015 everyone! Secondly, thank you for being so patience. Real life went into DEFCON 1 the last few months and I haven't had any time to write. But over the holiday season I managed to scribble this out. I hope you enjoy.

Chapter 2: Prelude to Tragedy

The events that got us into this horrible situation now seems so trivial, so stupid, and so mind-numbingly worthless that it is hard to wrap my mind around it. Of course at the time it was incredibly important, worth fighting my best friend over, but now… so f-ing useless.

Three days ago early in the morning, it all started pretty routinely…

"We've got a body." Javi calls out to me just as I was sitting down with my coffee.

"Always the case." I mutter, grabbing my coat and following him to the car.

We make small talk during the drive, mostly about the NFL games on last Sunday (I think the Ravens are a sleeper team to watch, Javi disagrees) until we reach the crime scene. Our banter is comfortable, familiar, and entirely normal. Beckett and Castle wave us over once we reach the scene and I'm trying to make a point to Javi about the game when I spot our victim. At that moment, everything stops.

The victim, a young woman of no more than 20, was brutally murdered. Beaten and strangled in fact. Unfortunately, that's not unusual or striking in our line of work. What hits me though, is who she looks like. Same blue eyes. Same blonde hair. The same build. Hell, even the same type of clothes. The victim is almost a twin for my sister Stephanie when she was 20. Not so long ago this would have been Stephanie. I'm transfix by the image and a cold sweat trickles down the back of my neck.

"Ryan?" Javi notices I've stopped moving towards the crime scene.

"Ryan!" He says a little more forcefully, which startles me out of my trance.

"Huh? Oh, s…sorry Javi." I try to get the image of my sister out of my mind, but I just can't.

"What's wrong?" Javi asks me.

"Nothing, it's nothing."

"Come on bro…" He gives me the 'don't bs me partner' look.

"Javi, she's a mirror image of my sister Stephanie when she was 20. I mean, this girl could be her twin."

"Shit, you okay?"

"Yeah… I'll be fine. It just startled me."

"Alright, just let me know if you need anything." There's nothing but concern in his voice.

"Thanks Javi."

And that is what started everything. Our victim wasn't my sister thank God, but a college student, Ashley Cartwright. Ever since that morning, I haven't been able to get the image of her lying in that alley out of my head. Every so often in this job, there is a case that gets to you. Either you have a personal connection to the victim or something about the victim hits home. As much as we talk about not getting personally involved in our cases, I think it's healthy on occasion to have a case get to you. It shows that you aren't so jaded by this job that you've retained at least some of your humanity. The image of Ashley, or my sister in that alley has definitely stuck with me and I've been relentless in trying to catch her killer. Looking back, I admit that I've been acting over the edge about this case, but it's damn important.

The biggest break we've gotten in the case happened yesterday.

We began with the usual procedure. First was notifying the next of kin, who was Ashley's mom. This is always the most painful part of the investigation, and Beckett was the one who did it. It made my gut wrench to watch Beckett tell Ashley's mother and see her go through it. I've always marveled at the way that Beckett is able to get through notifying the family members. It's an awful, thankless job, and yet, she's able to do it. Just one more reason why she's damn-near the best Homicide Detective in the City.

Next came checking to see if Ashley had any enemies (the answer was no), and if she was having any trouble with anyone. That got us our first lead; Ashley was fighting with Benny, her boyfriend. At first glance, Benny's alibi seems rock-solid, so we started pursuing other leads. As usual, I pulled Ashely's financials, which turned out to be a lot more arduous than I could've imagined. I learned Ashley was a trust-fund baby with all of the complicated financial documents and lawyers to go with it. On top of that, she had this habit of spending money. Lots of money. Yesterday afternoon, her financial records started coming into the Precinct. I've been going through Ashley's finances and it's been brutal; she has several credit cards, some under an assumed name with different companies and she had so many red-flag transactions that it was easier to go through her entire records than just look for one thing. By 5:00 pm, I've barely made a dent in the mountain of financial paperwork.

During this case, I've noticed Javi's not so subtle hovering, his periodic glances to check on me, asking me how I'm doing more than usual. Every time there's a case that gets to me, Javier starts acting this way. I know why he does it, and usually I don't mind it too much, but this time it's starting to get on my nerves. What's worse is that Beckett and Castle have joined in on it too. Both of them have asked me how I am doing and I've caught them doing the same things as Javi. I'm fine; sure, I'm working harder than normal and yeah, Ashley's murder has really bothered me but I know when I should pull back.

I look over at the wall clock; normally it would be time to put all of this aside and go home, but I can't yet. I've got to get through Ashley's financials and find us a real lead.

I see Javi coming out of the corner of my eyes. He looks like he is already dreaming of the first after work beer. "Hey bro it's after 5:00. Ready to go grab a drink? Beckett, Lanie and Castle will be joining us at the Old Haunt."

The offer is certainly tempting, but I just can't. "Thanks Javi, but I'm not done yet."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I need to get through Ashley's financials. There's got to be a lead in these records."

"And it will be here in the morning. Come on Ry, you need to get out of this office; you didn't even eat lunch."

"I had an apple."

"Whatever, you know that doesn't count. Have a drink with us and look at it with fresh eyes in the morning."

"No." I say with more force than I really intended. It has an effect though; the sympathy in Javi's eyes goes away and he's giving me a harder stare.

"Fine whatever, I'll see you in the morning." He says coldly and walks away, never looking back.

I watch him the whole time until the elevator door closes and he heads out of the Precinct.

"Shit." I mutter under my breath. I'm irritated at myself for making Javi mad, but darn it, why does he have to push so much? So I've been dedicated to solving Ashley's murder and I had a light lunch. What's the big deal? If it was Javi's sister, he'd want me working as hard as possible to figure out who was responsible. I don't get it. Whenever anyone else burns the midnight oil, no one raises so much as a peep, but the moment I do it, suddenly they think I'm half a step from going crazy. I'm just as dedicated to my job as anyone else so there are going to be some times when I work harder than usual. What's so strange about that?

Shaking my head, I try to put Javi, Beckett, Castle and everyone else out of my mind and focus on these financial records. I get situated and turn on my desk lamp, getting ready for a long evening.

It's 6:00 in the morning, and I'm finally ready to get some sleep. I finished with Ashely's financial records about two hours ago and have been typing up all of my handwritten notes. I want to do some more work but my notes are merging together and my computer screen is a bright, blurry mass that hurts my eyes whenever I look at it. I've been at this for hours on end and I'm thoroughly exhausted. I'm running on more coffee than the average person drinks in a week and I skipped dinner as well. I turn off the computer screen and head into the break room. The couch in the room is modestly comfortable, although right now I could fall asleep on a bed of nails I'm so tired. My head barely hits the arm rest before I'm out like a light.

It seems like only minutes later that a piercing, irritating sound erupts from my phone. I curse the very existence of the object as I blindly try to find it. After a few clumsy tries, I manage to get ahold of the stupid thing. Squinting at the too-bright screen I answer it without checking the caller id.

"Hello."

"Good morning Kevin Ryan."

I'm instantly awake. Oh crap this is bad. It's Jenny on the other end of the line. She never calls me by my full name unless she is really, really pissed.

"Jenny I…."

"Do you know what time it is?" She cuts me off before I even begin to try and explain myself.

"Um…uhh…" I try to read the time on my watch but the lighting is too dim.

"Its 7:00 am Kevin." She tells me in a very dangerous voice.

Crap, crap, crap I never called her last night to tell her I was working late. Oh God she is going to be pissed at me.

"Jenny I…"

"Don't apologize Kevin, I don't want to hear it." She tells me hotly. "I was worried to death about you! I had to call Javier and he had to tell me that you were working late, obsessing on this case!"

"Jenny…"

"I know you have a tough job. I know you could be in danger, I know you work odd hours. And I'm fine with all of that. All I ask for is that you tell me what's going on. Let me know if you are going to be working late. And do not, I repeat, do not leave me up worrying! I should not have to call Javier when you are perfectly capable of doing it yourself!"

"Jenny I…"

"I'll see you when you get home." She clicks the phone off. She never yelled or raised her voice. Her tone was low, dangerous, and teeming with anger. It would be much better if she yelled; I would know she got her anger out. As it is, I'm sure to endure another brutal tongue-lashing when I get home.

"Damn it." I curse to myself, throwing my phone onto the couch with probably too much force. I feel horrible about doing that to Jenny. I know how much she worries; we've had that conversation more than once, particularly after I've had a couple of close calls. She's never once asked me to think about changing jobs or scale back what I do. All she wanted is a phone call and I didn't give that to her.

I'm so busy giving myself a proverbial whipping that I don't even hear the door to the break room open and another person come in. At this time of the morning, it's probably Beckett. My head starts throbbing, morphing into a nasty headache, so I ignore the new arrival. Beckett will understand.

"Mornin' sunshine." A sarcastic voice calls out to me. It's Javi. "You look like you've had a rough night."

"Go away." I moan, waving my hand to dismiss him and using the other hand to rub my temple.

"You sure are grouchy in the morning aren't you?" Javi comments, refusing to let me wallow in my misery.

"Leave me alone."

"What happened last night?" He asks me seriously. "I got a call from Jenny and she was worried sick."

"I already talked with her." I grumble, not wanting to relive that particular conversation. "Thanks for telling her that I'm obsessing by the way, since she doesn't worry about me enough." I snap at him.

"Kevin." Javi is determined to ignore what I want and plow ahead with a soul-bearing, serious conversation. Under normal circumstances, I would be fine with that; hell, I'm the one who usually tries to get Javi to open up about what he's feeling. But not this time. I've been working for hours on end, I'm tired, hungry, and have a migraine the size of Rhode Island. Our victim keeps reminding me of my sister, my wife just tore me apart, and now my partner is trying to tell me what to do. I see his lips moving, but I'm can barely hear a word he's saying.

"We were talking at the bar last night and we're all concerned about you…"

"Javi, just shut up!" I yell at him, cutting off whatever it is he was trying to tell me. My anger at Javi keeps rising. He knows me well enough to recognize when I don't want to talk about something or want to be left alone, but he just keeps going. All I want is some time by myself. Why won't he just leave me alone? And who is he to try and tell me to calm down?

"You didn't even call Jenny!"

"My relationship with Jenny is none of your damn business!" I yell.

"Bullshit; she called me, not the other way around. All because you didn't call her. Kevin, talk to me, please!"

"Just leave me alone." I bark.

"It's personal to you, I get it." Javi ignores my command and presses on "But bro, this isn't normal or healthy. You don't act like this. If Captain Gates thinks you're getting too involved, she'll pull you from the case. We've got to follow procedure on this."

There is no way he just said that. After some of the shit he's pulled?! My anger at Javi boils over; I'm fed up with him babying me. "That's rich Javi, you telling me about following procedure. Now gee, where have I heard this before? Oh that's right, when you and Beckett went rogue going after Maddox! I followed the rules and you didn't speak to me for day after damn day because you thought you knew better! You thought I was nothing but a rat! A Judas! A Quisling! You sure as hell have no room to tell me about going by the book!"

Stung by the unexpected assault, Javi doesn't flinch. "Are you even listening to yourself Kevin? You're obsessed! Ashley Cartwright is not your sister! You've made this so damn personal that you're acting like a total idiot!"

He's not done yet though, and he keeps plowing ahead like a bulldozer. "And don't play the 'I always follow the rules' bullshit with me! You sure as hell didn't follow them with Ben Lee after your piece was stolen or the shit you pulled when you went undercover as Fenton. But you know what; I had your back both of those times because we're partners. Yet you go off whining to the Captain instead of having my back! Is that in your code of honor too?!"

"If I hadn't gone to the Captain you'd both be dead! You always have treated me like a little kid who can't do anything without big bad Javi around!"

By this point, both of us are shouting full bore, unearthing every past grievance and buried sore point we can think of. It's brutal. Names like "Montgomery" "Tyson" and "Lockwood" are hurled about. It's beyond a rational discussion. Pointing at each other, yelling in each other's face, not even hearing what the other man is saying. We are very close to coming to blows when a third person enters the break room.

"And don't get me started on the best man bullshit! Real act of courage there!"

"That's the best you can come up with?"

"Just because you can't stand up for yourself one time…"

"Maybe if you had a real relationship…"

"STOP IT!" Beckett shouts, her voice overshadowing both of ours.

Both Javi and I stop shouting and look at her. "For God's sake, look at you two!"

I go back to glaring at Javi, my face red with fury. She better not ask for me to apologize to him, because I sure as hell am not going to. He needs to apologize to me for dredging all this shit up. All three of us are silent for what seems like a long time. I'm still glaring at Javi, but the coward doesn't even have the guts to stare back at me; he's gaze shifts from the floor to Beckett.

"Whatever you two are arguing about it can wait. We just got a lead; turns out Benny's alibi isn't as solid as we thought it is. You two go pick him up at his apartment." She hands Javi a piece of paper, which he snatches with more force than he probably intended.

Beckett isn't done yet though. "I don't care how it happened, but you two need to kiss and make up."

Neither of us says a word, either to Beckett or each other and we head out of the Precinct in silence.

A crash of lightening echoes from outside, as the storm fully unleashes itself on New York City. That argument, I hate every second of it. I was being so stupid; all Javi was doing was looking out for me, and I threw that back in his face.

When we got into the car to head off to the apartment building that was my chance. That was when I should have said "I'm sorry". I should've been humble enough to say those simple words. It was all that needed to be said. Driving to that place was the opportunity to make everything right again, to get us back to normal and be reconciled with my best friend. But no, I didn't do that. I let my pride and hurt feelings get in the way.

The rain lashes against the window of Javi's hospital room, drowning out the heart monitor and every other noisy machine in this damn place. Fitting that such a miserable, awful day would be ending on this note.

Which brings me back to the terrible moments just before it happened, as Javi and I got out of our car and headed towards the apartment…

So, what do you all think? Good? Not so good? Either way, I'd appreciate any reviews, comments, suggestions or anything else you all might have.