Ah, it's nice to know that somebeasts are reading and paying attention. Good for you. Now remember, this is a guide for defending Redwall Abbey in order to PREVENT any damage from being done. Waiting for help is not exactly something I support; who knows how much damage will be done in between then? Also, defending the abbey is a lot more important in the immediate than feasting at a later time. I shall talk on this further on; this is a major flaw of your defense, unfortunately.

Lastly, I shall talk as I bally well please.

So, without further ado, I bring you lesson number two of the Redwall Defense Guide.

Lesson Two: Close The Blinkin' Door

Look at the name "Redwall" closely. If you will notice, it is a combination of the words "Red" and "Wall."

You abbey beasts are fortunate to have sturdy, well built, very thick, solid walls surrounding your abbey. Thank Martin and Abbess Germaine that they had such good architects when designing the abbey.

Obviously, you take care of these walls, yes? They are your primary defense against a frontal attack by vermin. You make sure there are no cracks, no weaknesses, no holes. (If there are, fix them now.) If they crumble, you will be in very big trouble. Therefore, if you find a hole, you fix it immediately, usually by the Foremole. Helpful chaps, aren't they?

However, there is also something called a "door." They are used to go though your carefully built walls and very useful in times of peace.

Ever notice that a door is also simply a glorified hole in the wall?

Are you abbey dwellers connecting these two concepts together in your head?

Doors are a huge weak spot in walls. A hole is much easier to break through than a solid wall. Why do you think vermin attack the door and not the wall? Because it is much easier to break down a door than it is to break down a wall. That is why doors often are reinforced with metal, stout oak wood, or other very Solid Objects.

Unfortunately, you abbey dwellers do not notice that a door is also a hole in the wall, and therefore must be super-protected. You notice that there is a big fat hole called the Main Gate, and you reinforce it accordingly. However, you do not notice the smaller holes known as wallgates.

Oftentimes, vermin will break thorough the primary defense of Redwall Abbey through these two small, overlooked gates. How many times must I see Redwall fight or lose dibbuns because the little gate was not closed? Let's see, Cluny got in this way, Marlfoxes stole a dibbun this way, certain rebels keep escaping this way…

Therefore, CLOSE THE BALLY DOORS!!!

Lock, bolt, close, glue, I do not care. When you are under attack, you are probably not going to be leaving anytime soon. So CLOSE the door and make sure they STAY closed!!

Unfortunately, oftentimes you close the doors only to have them broken down. This is because you have an outdated security device. You still use the old wood plank across the door and held in place via stone hanging contraption. This, time after time again, has been broken down because vermin jam a Thin Pointy Object through the cracks in the gate, wedge the plank up and out, and burst in.

Please, get in with the times and use a more effective locking system. Do not use wood, which is easily burned or scratched; instead, use a thick metal rod. Do not use stone to hold the metal in place, use metal with metal. Make a latch instead of relying on the sheer weight of the metal rod to hold it in place. In fact, ditch the whole wood-and-stone deal and make the whole blinkin' door out of metal. Get the Badger Lord at Salamandastron to make some for you. While you're at it, make the main gate out of metal too; it couldn't hurt.

In this way, you can also forget about vermin wedging their swords through because if the entire gate is metal, they can't stick them through. Also, you can forget worrying about fire burning down the gate because metal is very difficult to burn through and physically tasking to vermin. (Not to mention impossible in a realistic sense.) Since vermin are lazy, they probably won't go through all the trouble.

See all the problems resolved simply if you 1) close the door and 2) make the door metal?

Ah, the wonders of modern technology.

* * * * *

Now, what have we covered today?

I shall make it simple enough that even dibbuns can understand and help. Hole in wall, bad. Door same as hole. Therefore, open door bad. Closed door, good. Defend Redwall by closing the door. Cheer. (Note: Take care not to fall over the wall while cheering.)

It's one of the simplest defense strategies there is.

~ LoneWolf16, Recorder of Redwall Defense in Mossflower Country