On a day when I was hiding out in my normal spot, staring at the back of the man who I admired (ahem, stalked), I did not hear the breathing of someone else behind me until they grabbed my torso and yanked me into the ditch behind the thick bushes. They shoved me face first into the miniature river that flowed, pulling my arms back in such a manner that it sharply stung my shoulder blades. I wanted to screech in pain, but I knew better than to make a single noise, especially with Toadstool's people nearby.

"You," a soft voice hissed, "what the hell do you think you're doing?"

I lifted my head up enough to grunt without water running back up my nose, feeling my spine crack as I did (it felt pleasant, really, but at the same time it reminded me of my lack of breakfast for some reason).

"I asked you a question," they pulled on my arms again, further increasing the pain to which I only responded with a twitch of my eye, "I asked you what. The hell. You. Are doing. Did you not think you were gonna be seen?"

"I'm hardly ever seen." I responded, pressing the side of my face to the ground so I could speak without having to crane my neck upward.

The other person scoffed, "With the way you were hanging out of those bushes, you were bound to be seen. Whoever you were gawking at, they are not worth you being seen."

"And just who are you to tell me what I can and cannot do?" I growled, spitting water out of my mouth, "I know very well that you are not my mother."

"I'm the one who is saving your ass, that's who I am." They released their hold on me, their shoes squishing into the mud as they gave me space to stand up, "Unless you want to be seen and thrown in the queen's prison, then by all means go drool over your genetically modified meat."

"Oh, how ever can I thank you for not really saving me, superman?" I pushed myself up, squeezing and twisting the front of my shirt to try to get the excess water out of the fabric (mentally reminding myself that I needed to do laundry soon), "You cannot go unrewarded for your pointless heroism." I glared at their back, almost gagging at the platinum blonde rat's nest that was hanging from their head.

"You can shut up and do a woman a favor," they (I mean, she, uh, yeah, she), spun around to give me a harsh glare, one eye covered with long and scraggly bangs while the other was darkened in a bruise, "I need to know where I am."

"You mean kingdom or street?" I snapped, resisting the urge to add on a comment about seeing a hairdresser.

"Street, I know that I'm in Toadstool's territory idiot, why do you think I yanked you back?" She threw her hands up at me, leaning forward and slightly increasing the volume of her voice.

I snorted, "Please, woman, relax. If you're looking for her castle, then you are nowhere near the street that leads to it."

She lunged forward; grabbing my shirt collar and bringing our faces just a little too close for my liking, "Then lead me there, Sir Annoying-Like-Fuck."

"I only do for those who are polite to me, ma'am." I pushed her away, sending her into the wet moss on the ground, "You're anything but polite; therefore I will not help you."

She sighed in frustration, "Sir, will you please lead me to Toadstool's castle?"

I shrugged, "Better, I guess." I held my hand out to help her up, to which she snarled at me and jumped up by herself.

"Lead the way. This is urgent." She snapped her fingers at me, "I need to get in there before nightfall."

"Do you even know how to get in without getting caught?" I started walking along the trail that the ditch made, "The castle is very well guarded, and it also has plenty of traps to make sure no one gets inside."

"I figured the queen would put more effort into producing her 'people' than she did making sure the area was safe." The woman snarled, "Do tell, sir, have you been in there before?"

"Why do you think I'm asking you?" I kicked water back in her general direction, smiling as I heard her hiss in disgust, "I've been all around that castle enough to know it like the back of my hand."

"Really, now?" She sounded like she was starting to think, "You've really been in there before? Even the supposed lab she has?"

"She does have a lab. It's… more like a little girl's chemistry set with all of the damn shades of pink and all."

"Figures."

I knelt down low as I came to the end of the line of bushes, staring at the road before me, "I hate this road… someone looks to the side and you're caught."

"Well then, move." The woman shoved my back, "No one's coming, move!"

I stumbled into the road, whining in shock before I finished scampering to the new line of bushes on the other side, jumping through the branches and feeling them scratch my face. It may not sound pleasant, but believe me, it was very comfortable knowing that was what kept me safe all these years.

The woman soon followed, her hair getting snagged in the twigs and branches. She grunted before grabbing her ponytail (if you could call it that), pulling it out of the grasp of the bushes. She shrugged at the small twigs still caught inside, as if they were mere butterflies on her shoulder instead of making her hair even more of a mess. "Shall we resume?"

"Of course, your messlyness." I waved her off as I continued to lead the way, "That's the only road we'll have to cross now. The rest of the way is easily hidden behind these bushes."

"Good, hate for you to pee your pants when you get scared," the woman snickered, quickly following behind me, "I figure you come this way a lot?"

"How so?"

"The ground's starting to lose grass."

I glanced down at where I was walking, narrowing my eyes at the stamped blades and slowly emerging dirt spots. "Damn it. I'll need to make a new path soon."

"Why is that? Scared they'll follow you?" She chuckled, "I figure you would've been fighting those guards at least once or twice a week."

I glared back at her, "Do I look like I fight?"

She hummed, "Almost. Your biceps are pretty big."

"That's from doing strenuous work to keep my house, love," I rolled my eyes, "Believe it or not, I don't have luxuries like the rest of the people do."

"Ah, I see." She hummed, "So, how much further is the queen's castle?"

"Quite a ways, get used to walking."

"Ugh, damn…"

"You're the one who wanted me to lead you there. I could've just let you try to find it on your own!"

"No, no, no. It's just I'm in a bit of a hurry."

I took a second to snort, "How so?"

"Nothing. Just doing a favor for my queen."

I turned around to look at her, narrowing my eyes in suspicion, "You have a queen? What is she, Queen Ratty?"

The woman stuck her tongue out at me, "No, she's not. As a matter of fact she's probably the most perfect being on this planet. Not that you should care about her."

"Not really. As a matter of fact I barely give two shits about anybody." I winced as I almost added on something about that man that I kept on worrying about (ahem, stalked).

"Strange to hear." She hummed, and the time we spent walking afterwards was spent in complete silence.