"I must be insane letting you in my apartment," Alexandra said as she threw the blankets and pillow back into the closet. "You know that, right? You literally almost beat a man to death last night." She turned to look at him, but he was just leaning against the counter looking at his feet. She knew she should stop talking, but when Alex was nervous her mouth kept going.
"I mean, you do realize you almost killed Markus, right?" She asked as she disappeared into her bathroom to towel off and grab aspirin for the pain. She avoided looking in the mirror at all costs since she probably resembled a Picasso painting. She didn't expect a reply and didn't get one. She ripped her hair out of its ponytail and tossed a hoodie over her running gear.
When she walked back into the kitchen, James hadn't moved. Alex got two plates from the cupboard, and then swept all the papers on the small kitchen table onto the chair that wouldn't be used.
Alex could hear her mother yelling at her for letting someone into her house in its current unkempt condition. Grace Harper was the type of woman who got on her hands and knees to scrub all the floors in the house every week. Alex ran a Swiffer once a month if she thought about it.
Then again, this guy was homeless with very questionable personal hygiene. Her mother would never have let him into the house in the first place. Alex doubted he gave a damn that she had papers all over the place.
"What's your name?" James asked.
Alex looked up to see James looking at her through his hair. Alex put the plates down, wincing slightly, before heading to get glasses.
"Alexandra, but I tell most people call me Alex or A.J. I think Alexandra sounds rather pretentious, I like the shorter versions better." She found two clean mugs and decided they would work just fine. She walked around James to get into the fridge to get the orange juice and butter.
"Defender of men," James said softly to his feet.
"What?" Alex asked as she poured two glasses of orange juice. James said nothing as Alex put the carton back in the fridge. She then went into the freezer and pulled out a bag of frozen corn. After laying it on her face for a few seconds, she moved the bag to her wrist since hurt like a bitch and twice its normal size. The whole time she waited for James to answer her, but when she looked at him, he was still staring at his feet, stringy black hair covering most of his face.
"Tin Man, you know you can answer questions right? Unless you've rusted over." Alex said. She dropped down into a chair, wincing at the pain from her ribs. There was no response.
"Do you want any of these bagels?" Alex sighed as she pulled the bag toward her. "Or are you going to ignore that question too?" She opened the bag and pulled out the bagels to inspect them.
A hand appeared in her line of vision, making Alex jump, and took one of the bagels. Fine scars covered the hand and the fingers were slightly misshaped, probably from being broken.
James sat down lightly in the chair across from her and placed the bagel on the plate. His eyes roamed the table for a few moments before he reached down underneath the table. Alex couldn't see what he was doing, but when he came up, he had a huge hunting knife in his hand.
"Whoa," panic twisted Alex's stomach painfully. So he was a psychopath after all, great. At least he bought her breakfast before he decided to butcher her. She hoped it would be painless.
"No knife," James placed his elbows on the table.
"That is definitely a knife." Alex said, eyes wide, as she looked from James to the knife.
"No knife for the butter." He sounded almost exasperated that he had to clarify.
"Then ask for one. Jesus Christ. You don't just pull out a bear-killing knife from God knows where. Better yet, get it yourself. It's the top drawer on the right of the sink." Alex said, pointing in the general direction. She slouched back and started to breathe again. She rubbed her face and tried to figure out what the hell she was thinking. What possessed her to let a man into her apartment? Who just uses a hunting knife to butter a god damn bagel?
James put the hunting knife down on the table and looked at Alex for a few moments. Then he got up without a word. He found the right drawer and came back with two butter knives. Flipping it around deftly, he handed one to Alex handle first.
"Thanks," Alex said. She wondered how many ways he knew how to kill her with it. She was going to make him leave after breakfast and then maybe move to another state so he could never find her again. Maybe even another continent.
After buttering her bagel, which she let him do first, Alexandra pulled out her phone. She checked her twitter, Facebook, and email as she ate. Even the guilt of not answering her mother's multiple emails couldn't help her ignore the man across the table from her. She could feel his eyes on her, but didn't say a word or make a sound.
"Alright, I have to ask." Alex put her phone down.
James looked at her, but just kept eating. A couple of bites and then a sip of orange juice.
"What's your deal?" Alex leaned forward, placing her elbows on the table. James just kept chewing. Alex raised an eyebrow, determined to wait until he said something. She wouldn't break first. She realized as she waited that the hunting knife had disappeared again. That wasn't exactly comforting.
She stayed quiet for about five minutes before she felt like screaming.
"Tin Man, you're supposed to be missing your heart, not tongue. Is there a reason you don't talk or are you trying for the whole strong and silent type?" Alex asked as she moved the frozen corn from her wrist to her face.
"You talk a lot," was the response from her companion.
"Point taken, I have a problem filtering between my brain and my lips sometimes." Alex said with a weak smile. "It's probably why I got into trouble last night. That doesn't answer my question."
"That wasn't your fault." James said with conviction.
"True," Alex said with a shrug, "but if I would have just kept my mouth shut they would've left me alone. Just screamed some curses for a few blocks and then went on their way. I just couldn't help myself." Alex took the corn off her face. At this point it wasn't helping anymore, it was just getting water all over her as it melted.
"You did nothing wrong," James said again. "Even if you did, no man should ever do what they were going to do to you."
Alex met his eyes. There was a clarity in them that hadn't been there before. In the alley it was almost as if he had been medicated, in a haze, and now it had worn off. Alex felt as if he was looking past her eyes as well, trying to figure her out. It made her uncomfortable.
"Yeah, well," Alex looked down at her plate, "I could do without the bruised or broken ribs. Not to mention all this going on with my face." Her voice was so low that she was talking more to herself than James. He said nothing, which didn't surprise her.
"Well," Alex said after popping the last bit of bagel into her mouth. "I'm going to take a shower since I have work tonight. I don't know what you want to do…There's a TV in there."
Alex wanted to kick herself, hadn't she said that she was going to kick him out of the apartment? What the hell was she doing? That's when she realized that while she was still wary of James, she was also self-conscious around him. He was an actual person, an actual male person, and not just a very large predatory cat.
James didn't look up from buttering his second bagel.
"Or you can just sit there with your bagel or return to Oz or whatever you want to do." Alex drained her glass and got up to put her dishes into the sink. The sleeve of her hoodie was soaked from the melting bag of corn so she stripped it off and threw it into the living room. She turned to put the corn back into the freezer and there was James right in front of her. She gasped and jumped, but he didn't seem to notice as he put his hands on her ribs.
"Whoa, Jesus, excuse me," Alex stepped back quickly and swatted his hands away out of reflex. James didn't try to hold onto her, though she knew he could have easily made it so she couldn't move. The heat from one hand and the cold from his metal fingers lingered on her skin.
"I was checking your ribs to see if they are actually broken." He said with no emotions in his voice.
"Well, warn a girl before you put your cold metal hand on her." She didn't want to admit that her heart was also beating painfully hard and she needed time to slow it down. After last night she wasn't overly fond of guys touching her, but that wasn't all of it. Under all the dirt and hair, up close, he was actually kind of attractive.
"Do you have experience diagnosing broken ribs?" She finally asked.
"Just when they are my own," James admitted.
"How many times have you broken your ribs?"
"I don't know." James said, his face crumpling in confusion.
"I guess as a soldier it must happen so often that it's hard to keep count. Especially since you have obviously seen action." Alex rambled. She just wanted that look of confusion to disappear from his face. It was almost painful to see.
"How did you know I was a soldier?" He tilted his head slightly.
"Your dog tags, I saw them yesterday when you changed." Alex felt herself blush a little at this confession, but tried to keep it under control. "I wear my grandfather's so I knew they weren't the stupid ones you get out of a vending machine." Alex pulled out the set of beaten up dog tags that she wore all the time out from under her shirt. She had played with them constantly as a child and when her grandfather passed, he'd given them to her.
"The name is rubbed off of mine," he reached under his shirt and took out his tags. Alexandra cautiously reached out and, when he didn't protest, took the battered tags into her hands. She flipped them between her fingers and tilted them toward the sun coming through the kitchen window. They were warm from his skin and even more beaten to hell than hers were. She thought they would be in better condition since they were newer. She wondered what kind of hell he had been in for his tags to look like this.
"The name wasn't rubbed off, it was etched off." Her fingers traced over where the name should have been. "These are laser marks." Ex-boyfriend number five had a garage that had been known to etch VIN numbers off cars. She had watched the process a few times.
Alexandra looked up to James for some answer to why his name was etched off or how someone had taken his dog tags without him noticing or why they would want to etch his name off. He just looked down at her, his eyes hopelessly searching her for answers she didn't have.
"What happened to you?" She asked softly, the look on his face slowly breaking her heart.
"I don't know," was his equally quiet response. "I don't remember."
They stood there staring at each other for a moment. Then James's face went blank, closed off, and Alexandra took that as her sign to move away. She busied herself with putting the corn bag away and trying not to ask the thousands of questions she had.
"Do you want me to check your ribs?" James's voice was back to its monotone timbre.
"If it will make you feel better, go for it." Alex said turning back to look at him.
"Alright, I am going to touch your sides." There was a hint of a smile, though it was almost invisible. He reached out and very carefully put his actual and metal fingers against her ribs. She sucked in a short breath because of the pain. She tried to keep her thoughts from running wild as his hand roamed down her sides and then back up as far as was decent.
"Alright take a deep breath," James said and Alex did, though it hurt like a bastard.
"Another one," he said.
"You just like seeing me wince don't you." Alex muttered as she took another deep breath, James's fingers pushing a bit harder in some spots.
"I don't think any of them are broken, but this hand is a bit useless for delicate tasks." James said waving his metal hand in the air.
"Should I ask why you have a metal arm to begin with or is that a touchy subject?" Alexandra leaned against the counter as she attempted to get her breath back. It wasn't so much that he was missing an arm, but the quality of craftsmanship of the prosthetic he had that was extremely intriguing to her. She knew nothing mechanical work, but that arm looked like a masterpiece. That on top of the fact that he was a soldier with his name tags etched that had fallen on hard times was enough to pique anyone's interest. He was young. He should have friends or relatives to help him out. Why was he in New York City all alone with only a hunting knife to his name?
"It's better if you don't know." James said after a long silence.
"Fair enough," Alex said not wanting to push him. "I'm going to grab that shower. You can do….whatever. Within reason," Alex added, remembering him almost punching through a door the night before. She grabbed some clothes out of her room before disappearing into the bathroom and locking the door behind her.
"Alexandra Jade, what the hell are you doing," She sighed as she leaned against the door and closed her eyes. The aspirin had finally kicked in and everything was a dull throb instead of sharp pain, but everything still hurt. At least she didn't have broken ribs according to the random soldier that she brought home with her.
She was just making wonderful decisions the past twenty four hours.
Alex stripped gingerly and then stepped into the shower, turning the hot water up to where she could barely stand to be under it. Each drop stung her face and sides, but it was a welcomed pain. She attempted not to think about what happened the night before, but it was impossible. Everything hit her at once, knocking the air out of her lungs. She held onto the wall as she let herself cry for a while.
Eventually she cried herself out and got her emotions under control. Then her thoughts turned to her rescuer. While she was very curious and a more than a little scared of him, she also couldn't help but think about him without his shirt on. His eyes, when they weren't dead and terrifying, were beautiful. She bet if he shaved and got a haircut he would be devastatingly handsome.
After forty-five minutes under the water, the hot water ran out. Alex got out and wrapped herself in a towel. Then she finally braved looking in the mirror.
It could have been worse, but it was not exactly pretty either. She didn't have a black eye, but her whole left cheek was sporting a nice purple bruise and a cut. It didn't take into account that more marks and bruises were going to come up as the day wore on. She was going to have paint on the concealer before work.
Alex looked herself over for a while longer before she grabbed an ACE bandage out of her medicine cabinet to wrap her wrist. She dressed in sweatpants, white t-shirt, and hoodie before emerging from the bathroom into the slightly chilly apartment. She grabbed a brush and then went into her bedroom to finish up her morning ritual. She thought about changing into actual clothes before reemerging from her bedroom, but then remembered that he looked homeless and didn't bother.
He was still in the kitchen, which was now spotless.
"You cleaned and did the dishes?" Alex couldn't help but laugh a little. "You bought me breakfast and did the dishes? I take it back. You're better than a stray cat." She could have sworn that he pushed a little more air out of his nose than usual. She took it for a laugh.
"I have a Chem exam I need to study for, so if you want to clean the rest of the apartment, be my guest." Alex said as she dropped her book bag onto the kitchen table with a thud.
James just stood by the counter and watched her. She pulled out her Chemistry and American History book since she had an assignment for that class as well before tucking her feet underneath her. The weight of James eyes made her anxious and she couldn't concentrate. After ten minutes she snapped.
"I don't want to be rude, since you can probably break my neck, so I'm not telling you to take a shower. If you want to, instead of standing there and look at me, you're more than welcome." Alex said pulling hair into three sections. "There are clean towels on the shelves above the toilet. The hot water should be back by now."
Alex pulled her fingers through her hair a few times before she looked up. James was gone. A few moments later she heard the shower water start running. Alex braided her hair quickly and then opened her chemistry book to get to work. She was so absorbed with trying to figure out what the chapter was trying to teach her, that she lost track of time.
"Do you have any other clean clothes?" Alex jumped and turned to see James standing there with only a purple towel around his waist. She almost choked.
"Yeah…I think I have a pair of shorts and a shirt that will fit." She remained seated however, just looking at his chest and the V that disappeared under the towel. It was enough to make a girl swoon. While his arms and chest were impressive, his body was riddled with scars. More than any normal soldier should have. As always, her eyes trailed up to his shoulder and the metal arm.
"Do you want me to get them?" He asked, pushing hair out of his face with one hand and the towel fell a little lower. Clean, he looked even younger, though the beard covered the lower part of his face.
"No, sorry, I'll grab them." Alex jumped out of her chair and skirted around James into her room. After digging around her closet for a few moments she came up with silver gym shorts and a large red t-shirt. She turned around to see that James in the doorway. He was studying the room, which was a mess, with interest.
Alex took a minute to try to see her room from his perspective. On the wall there were seven different country flags, England, Germany, Ireland, France, Canada, and Australia. They had been in a box in a thrift shop for three dollars and covered the peeling the paint. Clothing was scattered around the floor and on top of the unmade bed. Overall, it was a very unimpressive room.
"Here," Alex got to her feet and handed the clothes to James. Instead he took a picture frame off of her dresser that had a picture of her and her brother when she had gone to visit him the summer before.
"That's Jake, he lives in Miami now." Alex explained as she continued to look around the room to make sure that all the really embarrassing things were hidden from view. When she finally focused on James, it was like looking at a different man. His face was alive and it was as if personality had been breathed into him.
"I should go, I shouldn't be here." James said as he put the picture down carefully and started to back out of the room, his eyes panicked.
"Wait a second." Without thinking, she reached out and grabbed his flesh arm. James tensed and his eyes darkened. Alex saw a flash of the person who almost killed a man the night before. She let go and held up her hand to show she meant no harm. James turned and headed out into the living room.
"Hey," Alex said when she finally got the courage to follow him. "You aren't going anywhere naked."
"Why do you care? You didn't want me here in the first place," James snapped. He was more animated than she had ever seen him. He looked scared and confused. Something in Alex solidified and put steel in her spine.
"You're right, I didn't." Alex said as she grabbed onto his arm for a second time. "But I can't let you just leave naked without anywhere to go." She had no idea what had set him off, but she was getting just as frustrated as he was.
"I can take care of myself," James said squaring his shoulders.
"That doesn't make you less naked." Alex pointed out. James opened his mouth, but he had no counter argument to that. He held out his hand.
"Fine, give me the clothes and I'll leave." He huffed.
"Not until you tell me why you want to leave all of the sudden. Did a girl with ruby red slippers show up in the bathroom while you were taking a shower? Did she tell you the flying monkeys were on their way? Are you needed back in Oz?"
"I'm dangerous."
"No shit." Alex threw her hands up in exasperation. "I was in the alley yesterday remember."
"You have no idea what've done, what I am capable of doing. What I have done without even knowing. It would just be safer for you if I left." James frustration was ebbing away to the point where he was almost pleading with her.
Alex suddenly felt a pang of protectiveness over him. She had never been known to have a motherly streak in her, but there was a first for everything.
"You're right. I have no idea what you did before or even who you are. But what I do know," Alex took a step forward so that he had to look at her, "is that if you hadn't shown up yesterday, I might be dead right now. I definitely wouldn't be this put together. That is the definition of unsafe. You saved my life."
"That doesn't change what I've done, what I am." James's voice was soft.
"And what are you?"
"A killer."
Those two words hung in the air between them as they stared at one another. It wasn't as if Alex hadn't figured that out, he was a soldier after all. It was the way he confirmed it and the way it seemed to destroy him that was terrifying. Alex remembered those dead eyes that looked at her the first time they met. Those were killer's eyes. The ones looking at her now weren't.
"If you want to leave I'm not going to stop you." Alex said taking a step back. "Hell, I couldn't even if I wanted to. But if it makes any difference, I don't think you are as awful as you think you are. You can stay here as long as you want." She handed him the clothes before walking around him and sitting down in the kitchen again.
Alex stared at her book, but strained her ears to hear what James decided to do. It wasn't as if he could get out of the front door without her seeing him, but he might try to go out the window and down the fire escape. She wouldn't put it past him.
"Do you have a wrench?"
Alex looked up to see James in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room, dressed. She'd never heard him move. The clothes fit him well, but Alex realized that she didn't give him underwear. She felt herself blush as she wondered if he was wearing any.
"For what?" She was surprised at how happy she was he hadn't climbed out of the window. She was a little upset with herself about how curious she was about if he was going commando or not.
Instead of answering, he twisted his arm to show a gash in the metal about an inch wide.
"What is a wrench going to do about that?" Alex said, getting up and looking at the gash. Inside she could see flashes and gears and Lord knows what else working away.
"Something inside is loose, if I can get in to fix it my fingers should work better. There's nothing I can do about the gash." Alex didn't know why he was being so talkative all the sudden, but she liked it.
"Well, I don't know what to do with most of this," Alex said, motioning to the whole metal arm, "but I know my way around a wrench and a welder's torch, both of which the landlord keeps in the basement along with scrap metal. I could at least patch it up and maybe get it to work a bit better for you."
"How?" Alex raised her eyebrow, not sure what the single word meant. "How do you know to do all that?" James elaborated.
"My brother, the one in the picture, he is madly in love with his car so if you wanted to talk to him you had to be in the garage. If you were in the garage, he made you work. He's a welder by trade and taught me some things before he moved. Can it wait until after I get out of work though? If I start now I'll end up being late and I have studying to do."
"It's been like this for a few months, I can wait a bit longer," James gave a very small shrug of his shoulders.
Alex sat back down into her chair and trying to concentrate on Chemistry. James stood quietly for a while, but finally reached down and picked up the American History textbook. He flipped it open to a random page and looked it over.
"You can take that to read if you want. I won't need it for a while. Better you than me." She said after he had stood there and read a couple pages. James disappeared into the living room.
It was four hours later when Alex took a study break and got up to get something to eat before work. She looked into the living room to see that the textbook was abandoned on the floor and James was staring at his hands.
"Yeah, reading that makes me feel that way too." Alex said walking over and leaned over the back of the couch.
James didn't look up, didn't make any sign that he had heard her.
"Is everything alright?" Alex asked. When he still didn't move she reached out and touching him lightly on the shoulder.
James didn't say anything so Alex walked around the couch and picked up the book. It was a chapter on World War II, focused on Captain America and his team. She already knew everything there was to know about those men. Her grandfather told her stories about Captain America and one of her favorite stories as a child was how her grandfather had met him once. Captain America was her hero as a child. Now that he was alive again, he still kind of was.
"I know he is terribly handsome, but nothing to get overly emotional about." Alex said, looking at the picture of Steve Rodgers that took up the left page. "At least not in public." She mumbled to herself.
James said nothing, just kept looking at his hands.
"Tin Man, have you gone rusty?" Alex closed the book and threw it onto the table. James jumped and looked up at her. Confusion was written all over his face, as if he didn't know who she was for a second.
"I…I have a headache." James finally said rubbing his forehead.
"Why don't you lay down? You don't look too good." Alex said as she walked over and grabbed a pillow and a blanket out of the closet. She handed them to him over the couch, then went back out into the kitchen and filled up a glass with water. She put the glass on the coffee table, an old trunk of her grandfathers, before leaving him in peace.
Alex popped a hot pocket in the microwave and tried to cram the last few concepts into her head as she ate. Then she went through the motions of getting ready for work with the added step of painting herself with makeup to look somewhat normal.
When she came back out into the living room James hadn't moved.
"Drink that water and get some sleep." Alex said.
James said something in a language she didn't understand, but it didn't sound pleasant.
"Don't swear at me in a language I can't understand. It's not fair." Alex said as she slid her army jacket on. It looked pretty nasty after last night's scuffle, but it was not ripped anywhere. She grabbed a clean baseball cap off the coat rack and slid it on backwards.
"If you get hungry, there should be chips in the cabinet and hot pockets in the freezer along with the corn from earlier. I'll bring something back for dinner if you're still here." Alex grabbed her keys off the counter. "And please don't break anything."
James said nothing, didn't move, he didn't do anything. He had retreated back into being the Tin Man it would seem.
"Alright, see you later. I close again so I'll be home around 11." She didn't expect him to answer her.
"Alexandra," She was so surprised to hear his voice that she dropped her keys. When she turned around, she saw that he was looking over the couch. The right corner of James's mouth was definitely tilted upward.
"Be careful," he said as she tried to compose herself.
"Always am," she said with an answering smile. "And remember, it's Alex or A.J." With that, she pulled the door closed behind her.