"Well that's all little fella," Said the doctor in a charming way. I sat on the desk cold and sexually abused. I see the door open and see someone who I though I would never be happy to see….
"Mummy!!! I mean Louis,"
"Is he okay Doc?"
"He shall be just fine,"
"How dare you!!! That man lifted up my shirt and put a cold device on it, no doubt to suck out my semen," I tell her off the actions this masked stranger had taken towards me.
"That's not sexual abuse little fella, that's a doctors check up when your sick," The rapist says before I slap him hard on the face.
"You do not have the right to speak to me, the police will hear about this," I bark at the ignorant deceiver.
"Don't worry he is just cranky, he shall be fine in about a week," The "doctor" says. Louis takes me out of the room before I can complain about him mislabelling me as cranky. You think I'm cranky I remember watching this everybody loves Raymond episode.
Deborah: Honey would you please just take out the trash?
Ray: Shut the fuck up bitch.
Now that's cranky in my opinion but who could blame him, his mother is almost as bad as mine. Louis straps me to the car and she drives off.
"You know vile woman, I was actually happy to see you for once," I lamely admit to the whore that mated with my father in order to create me. I'm not sure who that was worst for….
"Oh you're adorable when you got the flu,"
"HA! You are adorable when your dead!!!"
"That's not a very nice thing to say, you hurt mummy's feelings,"
"No mother of mine would have allowed me to be examined in such a way, you are nothing but a dirty slut like Paris Hilton"
"Please Stewie, Paris Hilton doesn't even get milk squeezed into hers," I have no idea what she means by that but I realise I am hungry.
"Feed me!!!"
"But I had just given you food before we left," I can't remember if this is true but I don't have time to protest as she shoves me back into my crib and gives me a kiss and says goodnight. She thinks that's going to make me go to sleep? Oh I do feel a little drowsy though.
-
A week had past and even though I didn't feel any different, my family believe I was healed of some flu. It's weird I have had the flu before but it wasn't like that, all I did was sneeze once or twice this time and swallow some horrible liquid that vile woman fed me. I escape my bedroom to see that the obese child and dirty moo cow were preparing to leave for school. Meg had seen me and automatically picks me him and starts hugging and kissing me.
"Get off of me; Are you some sort of a paedophile?" I say before I slap her and accidentally smash her glasses.
"Stewie, that's a bad boy," My foolish mother as she comforts her crying daughter.
"Oh relax, at least now, no one will pay any attention to your moustache or pounds of fat," She continues to cry but fat boy seems to be losing his patient.
"Hurry up, we are going to be late…."
"Not like you learn anything anyways wide load," Chris starts crying at my comments, jeez who is the baby here?
"Into the car both of you," Louis forces them into the car as they wipe the tears out of their eyes. No wonder they don't have any friends.
"Real smooth," The talking mutt had been silently watching the whole commotion.
"Oh and I guess your going to give my a speech about love and what ever stupid lyrics you heard from that U2 C.D"
"Hey, Hey, I only listened to that C.D once before smashing it,"
"What would force you to listen to a U2 C.D in the first place?"
"Your totally right I mean they are almost as bad as your songs,"
"Hey, that's offensive, U2 suck but come on… Mary had a little lamb, Jingle bells, The wheels on the bus go round and round, they are classics…"
"I won't say classics,"
"Oh really? You measure them by commercial success?"
"No way, if I did I would have a bunch of Elvis Presley C.D,"
"Oh don't even get me started on them," Before Brian got to continue this nonsensical conversation, the last griffin walked into the room by forcing his flab through the kitchen door.
"I made a poopy," Said Peter before laughing his childish laugh.
"Good progress that, I bet that's what the mother of George Bush said when he was born"
"Senior or junior?" Peter asks in his quest for more knowledge.
"Does it matter?"
"Guess not," Replies the dim witted fat oaf. I don't feel like spending the day talking to these people and I make my way to the street known as Spooner St. Instantly my ears are filled with orgasms from Glen Quagmire and a hooker, my eyes see a negro man and a crippled man talking to each other in conversation.
"Where you off to sport?" The annoying dog closes the door to my house.
"None of your business,"
"I promised Louis I would keep watch on you while see did some errands,"
"Well I don't need a watch dog,"
"You just need a hug," Brian deeply embraces me in a bear hug for no reason.
"Get off me!!! Hey your fur feels rather smooth, what kind of shampoo you been using?"
"Oh my own," I rest my football shaped head onto his masculine body and feel the softness of his fur.
"Oh you really got to tell me how to make it,"
"Well first I get a picture of Louis and then go down into the basement."
"To do what?"
"What do you think?" No one had explain that to me but it is apparent that whatever he does in the basement helps him create some kind of gel or shampoo the makes his fur soft.
A/N: Ok I'm sorry for having another chapter that went no where… next chapter I will start on a plot.