A/N: Hi everyone! Happy to see how many visitors the first chapter had! If this is helping to calm down your hearts, then nurse Rares is happy enough!
Anyone can ask me or suggest anything. BTW, some stuff I use here do exist (e.g. the books I mention and the parenting theories, that are real).
Also, thanks again AB(Aurora) for the good work and for the spreading so more people can receive their medicine. Let´s spread hope and fluffiness specially after 28/11!
AND please, Nygmobblepot family, stop the fighting between ourselves. We love and wish for the same thing!
Chapter 2: Origins- Part 2
The night had been as peaceful as possible for Iris, Oswald and Ed. Having the little girl around was a nice change because she was joyful and pleasant, so the dinner was genuinely homelike as if she was part of their family since the beginning. However, she didn´t speak much because she was busy eating, so Iris wasn´t really interested in Edward´s riddles and then the adult men used the time to discuss the technical aspects of her adoption.
It was only when Iris was totally quiet and had stopped moving that they saw her sleeping in her chair in a "food coma state".
"Okay… What do we do now?" Ed peered at Iris´s face.
"What do you mean, Ed? Let the servants do their job with the dishes and let´s put her to bed." Oswald stood up as quietly as he could and took her from the seat.
"Oswald, first of all, let me carry her, you need to be careful because of your leg." Nygma took Iris in his arms. "Also, are you sure? She can´t go to sleep like this. She needs a bath, a change of clothes and to brush her teeth at least!"
"As obsessed with order and personalcare as ever, huh Ed? But in all honesty, do you really think that she will wake up any time soon?" he pointed at the girl´s deeply closed eyes and half-opened mouth.
"Fine." Ed gave up. "But only for today. I won´t stand this lack of neatness in a child of mine."
"Deal. Now let´s put her in our room." Oswald sighed too tired to argue.
"What? Why not in a guest room? The mansion has a lot of them."
"Because she knows nothing about this place, Ed. She arrived today. What will happen if she wakes up in any empty unknown room? It will be as traumatic to her as being an orphan!" the Penguin explained incisively. Nothing would make him change his mind.
"But I don´t think that co-sleeping at seven will-"
"It won´t be co-sleeping, okay?!" he interrupted. "The room has a spare bed just fit for her size. Now shut up or she will wake up, you loudmouth giraffe!"
"Oswald, I swear, if you weren´t my boyfriend..." Ed needed a lot of patience when Oswald was mad like that for no real reason, just him being childish.
"Then you would still be trying and failing in finding some relationship with women. The end. Now, again, shut up, I´m serious!"
After arranging some pillows and sheets on the bed and taking off her shoes (so they wouldn´t hurt her during the night), it was time to put the little one there.
"I will lay her down on her left side because she just had dinner. Otherwise her stomach will be too high and all the acids will come to her mouth and make her-"
"Just do it! It was a hard day. Leave the trivia for tomorrow morning." Oswald complained.
"Talking about tomorrow… I already made some phone calls for the office." Ed said while laying Iris down and covering her with a blanket.
"And?"
"And I said we need the day off, and that the next days will also have the schedule changed a bit."
"Did you say why?"
"Not really. Don´t worry, Mr mayor." Ed winked at him and laughed. "But they will need us there at least by evening tomorrow."
"How´s that? You are my chief of staff! Can´t you make us have the whole day?!" Oswald whined clearly disappointed.
"Sorry, Os. But not the whole day. Not if you want more free hours in the coming weeks at least. We have Iris now, but you are the mayor. We have a city to make safer. A city full of lunatics. Don´t you want to achieve your campaign promises even more now?" he looked the soundly sleeping Iris.
"She is so beautiful. She deserves it." Cobblepot decided. Even if he and Ed couldn´t have all the leisure time they would wish to spend with her, it was to ensure her future in a better Gotham. And then they should make the most of the time together.
"Now let´s make the arrangements for tomorrow´s shopping trip and also for the servants that will need to deal with Iris. But before it, want to hear something interesting?"
"Come on, Ed. We just had a moment here." Oswald said with a half-smile. He simply didn´t know how to push him aside at times like that.
"Research shows that three passionates kisses a day can double your metabolic rate." Nygma took Oswald´s hand.
"So?" Oswald asked letting Ed take the action pushing him against his much taller body.
"It can help you lose up to a pound".
"Are you calling me fat?" he didn´t know if he should take offense or not.
"You won´t be if you do what I´m telling you to. So you will burn all the calories from dinner."
"Calling a penguin fat. So origi-" Oswald couldn´t finish because suddenly his lips were way too busy. The other tasks would have to wait a few minutes.
And so the morning came as fast as the hummingbird´s sleep.
The sun entered through a small gap between the curtains, its light reaching Iris, showing what a summery day it would be despite the normally gloomy atmosphere of the city. She opened her ice blue eyes, still feeling them heavy, not knowing where she was. Her naturally curly hair was a complete mess and she was wearing the same clothes as the day before. She slept all night long without waking up, but she couldn´t remember if she had any dreams. Her child mind was still remembering the day before, when she was surprised by the sight of two people:"Good morning, hummingbird!" Oswald, still wearing his favorite night robe, gave her a peck in the cheek.
"I hope you had a pleasant night´s sleep, Iris."
The girl still blinked looking at them, mostly focusing her attention on Gotham´s mayor. "Oswald?"
"Yes?"
"So… Yesterday really happened? It wasn´t a dream?" she beamed.
"Technically we still need to sign some papers, but yes, Oswald brought you home and now you are our daughter." Ed explained.
"That´s even cooler today!" she jumped out the bed to hug both of them.
"I´m glad you are enjoying it, but we have a long day ahead, honey. So take a bath and then breakfast. The same for you, Oswald." Nygma already had their schedule in hands, looking as professional as ever.
"Fine." Cobblepot sighed. "Do you need help with this, Iris?" he asked not knowing how much she could take care of herself already.
"No, papa. I always did this much by myself at the orphanage." she answered with a faint smile.
"Well, since it´s our first day as a family and because you are only seven years old, I don´t see why I can´t help you." he stated after seeing her sad face.
"Oswald, do you think we have time for this?" Ed wasn´t pleased at the idea of being late for the schedule he carefully made the day before.
"Leave her alone, Ed. It won´t take long. Now Iris, let´s choose some clothes and go to the bathtub for a bubble bath! We can even sing the 'clean up song' there! Don´t tell anyone but Ed created this song!" he giggled.
"Okay! See you at breakfast, daddy!" Iris smiled to Ed and followed Oswald.
"Oh God, what am I going to do with these hungry, and now bedhead, and late, birds?" Nygma asked himself.
Almost an hour passed until they appeared in the dining room. Of course they were all neat and tidy, Iris even had her hair washed and it was still a bit wet. The only two certainties for Edward were that they had had a lot of fun and that the bathroom was left a complete mess. The right employees would take care of this, but Ed loved rules and order, so it wasn´t good for his mood. Nor was the scene in the breakfast table:
"Very good, hummingbird. Say 'ah' to papa!" Oswald gave her a spoonful of cereal with chocolate milk. The girl was in the chair by his side.
"Oswald, you must be kidding me! She is seven!" Nygma complained.
"So?" he looked annoyed at his boyfriend. "Okay, another one!" he kept feeding her.
"She. Can. Eat. By. Herself!"
"Oh, Ed. You are so oblivious my dear! Of course she can, but where´s the fun in family breakfast without this?"
Iris just nodded.
"Can´t you at least give her something more nutritious? This cereal is purely sugar!"
"Very well. How about some fruit for my precious chick?" Oswald cut an apple into tiny pieces, covered them in honey and put one by one into her mouth.
"Do you want to lose the shopping trip? Did you forget we will need to go to work later?" Ed reminded him.
"Of course not. But that doesn´t mean I´m happy about it." he cleaned the little one´s mouth with a napkin and finished his own meal.
"We will be out for like, a couple of hours. I´m pretty sure that the staff of the mansion can keep an eye on her until we are back."
"Papa, what does this mean?" this little talk got her attention.
"You see, hummingbird..." he started awkwardly. "As you know, papa is the mayor and daddy is my chief of staff, and today we will need to go to our office and-" he stopped by seeing her eyes watering. "Ed, do we really need to?!"
"Yes, Oswald! We talked about this yesterday! I did my best to make a new schedule that allows us to work on both your fields and still spend time with our new daughter here, starting today." Nygma stared at Iris. "You need to understand. That´s what adults do. They need to work so they can make the life of their kids better. Also, when they get home, the time they spend together is even more special." he spoke without a trace of hesitation.
"Really?" Iris muttered.
"Yes. It´s because we already love you that it will work like this." he patted her head.
"I… I understand, daddy." she said feeling soothed.
"Good. I´m happy that you are that comprehensive. Now let´s get the car." Ed led the other two to the inside of the vehicle. The three sat on the backseat, as the driver had the instructions about which route to follow since the day before. "What in heavens is she wearing?" he pointed at the girl´s outfit: a completely black one-piece dress with long puff sleeves, a voluminous skirt and many interlaced laces, paired up with equally tint dark socks and shoes. Adding such clothing to her pale skin, ice blue eyes and brown hair, she was definitely looking like a startling, yet fascinating, porcelain doll. In other words, fetching in a dark fashion.
"Exactly what she chose, my dear." Oswald answered with a huge grin.
"Os… Iris is just a child! You can´t let her have a say in everything! If she says what she will wear or not and what she will eat or not, she will start saying if she goes or not to school. And if she will come home or not! Then when you finally see it, we will be visiting her in Arkham!" Ed shouted.
"What the bloody hell are you talking about?" Cobblepot stared dumbfounded at him.
"Perhaps I went too far." he coughed embarrassed. "What I meant is that this outfit simply is not appropriate."
"Don´t worry my poor giraffe, we will buy a lot of clothes that you find appropriate for her now." he saw that they had arrived at the first stop: a three story store. "This will be a hell of a lot of fun! Don´t you agree, hummingbird?"
"Yes, papa!" Iris smiled and took his free hand, the one that wasn´t holding a closed umbrella. "Daddy, let´s go!" she called Ed.
As soon as they started searching for suitable and necessary items, Ed asked himself why they couldn´t have just done some good and old online shopping, because together Oswald and Iris had A LOT of energy to spare between all the departments from her beloved dresses to all the doll-like shoes she wished for(and between them some clothing that Ed approved of, some that Oswald approved of himself and some that only Iris liked) and of course she would need many accessories, winter clothes, sleeping clothes, casual and formal outfits(since she was the mayor´s daughter she was going to have events to attend too) and guess what, they had a toys section! Two more hours to spend there then!
"Oswald?"
"Yes, Ed?"
"How long will this last until you buy something useful?!" he snapped at the sight of a pile of things in the cashier.
"Oh, right. You mean things for 'tidiness' and things for educational purposes, and your books." Oswald sighed annoyed.
"Pretty much, my hungry penguin."
"Another fat joke?! Make a third one and you are out of my bed!"Cobblepot hissed". "Fine. We have no time to waste after all." he finally agreed.
"First of all, I didn´t make any fat joke! And secondly, you finally think we are ready to go to the next stop?" Ed still couldn´t believe how much Oswald was loving their shopping.
After checking out and getting many shopping bags, they stopped by a handful of other stores to get all kind of stuff one can imagine, anything to prevent a fail. Maybe even too much stuff.
"You want me to believe that she needs a one-hundred percent Egyptian cotton sheet set? With satin weave? And one-thousand threads? Really? Do you know that she can and probably will vomit in it?" Nygma stated.
"Of course she won´t do it! Right, hummingbird?" he asked while feeding her a cut PB&J sandwich. Unfortunately they couldn´t understand her answer because her mouth was glued. "And what about you, Ed? Do you seriously believe that she will use an abacus? Or any of that educational crap?" he said in an accusatory tone.
"May I ask you why not, my beloved?" he felt insulted. Besides, Oswald was still spoiling Iris with the feeding, and they were in public this time.
"Because everyone hates that stuff, that´s why! Ed, the hot milk, please."
"Here." Ed gave to him a cup with a straw. Oswald put it in Iris´s mouth so the peanut butter would detach from her teeth. "That´s better. I was afraid we would need to take her to the doctor." he breathed in relief.
"Because of peanut butter?!" Edward was definitely not recognizing the Penguin like this. "Os, I´m afraid you will become a permissive parent."
"Excuse me?"
"Yeah, a parent who spoils the kid and demands nothing from her. I know it´s our first day in this thing but you should be careful."
"What book did that come from? 'Parenting with love and logic' or 'The whole-brain child'?" he mocked. "Now talking seriously, Ed. That´s just cold. I know what 'permissive' means and it´s not what I´m trying to achieve. But you know how my life was. I had my mother´s and for a very brief moment, my father´s love. I craved it for so long, Ed. I still miss it nowadays. I want to give to this little one all the love and care that I can while I´m here, and by doing it I can feel this kind of love too. Nothing more and nothing less. Don´t you understand me?" Oswald smiled sadly. Luckily Iris couldn´t get what all that meant.
"Os… I´m sorry, okay? Sorry for doubting you. I understand. And I want the same thing, to be the best parent I can for Iris. And the best partner I can be for you." he smiled and apologized. "Just… Don´t overdo the whole 'give all the care' thing, alright?" he still thought the mouth-feeding and the pampering was a bit too much.
"I will try. Now Iris, your veggies." Oswald put the little bowl with carrots, peas and celery in front of the girl.
"No!" she screamed.
"What now, missy?" Ed stared at her.
"I… I don´t wanna green stuff!" she made a disgusted face.
Definitely they didn´t know how to deal with this kind of situation. They never were picky-eaters and would never guess that a kid that came from an orphanage could be one.
"Come on, hummingbird. It´s good for your little body. If you eat this, then you can grow and be tall like daddy!" Oswald tried.
"No! I want to be a little girl forever!"
"Iris, it has the right amount of vitamins for someone of your age. The carrots will do wonders for your vision." Ed said, and all he got was Iris tilting her head at him.
"Then daddy didn´t eat his carrots? Daddy uses glasses." she giggled.
"That´s just great. A smartypants." Ed muttered under his breath.
"You… You don´t need to eat today if you don´t like it." Oswald gave up.
"Oswald, that´s it? She needs to be able to eat all the kinds of food!" Ed disapproved.
"As if you were one to talk! Mr 'I have a psychological allergy to onions'!"
"Hey! It´s a real and serious issue!"
"As if!"
Their little exchange was starting to attract attention to them, and Iris still hadn´t eat the veggies. Suddenly, an idea hit Nygma:
"Iris, do you like games?" he asked nicely.
"Yes!" she answered innocently.
"Good, because I have one for you right now!" he took out from his pocket two red dice.
"Ed, what is this? Are you going to bet with a kid?!" Cobblepot disliked the thought.
"No, why would I, Os?" he calmed the mayor down and faced the girl."Honeybee, daddy will give you these two cubes. They are called 'dice'. Throw them in any way you like it. Whatever number it shows is how many veggies you will have to eat before we can leave this place. Doesn´t this sound fun?"
"Oh. My. God." Oswald talked to himself. It was unbelievable.
"Yes!" Iris agreed.
"What?!"
"Good. Go ahead, sweetie." he encouraged her.
Iris knew nothing about throwing dice or whatever, but she liked swinging things and playing. So she did it. And the number she got after after adding up both sides was ten. To her parent´s surprise, she followed the rules and ate ten pieces of veggies. Another crisis prevented by Edward Nygma, the best chief of staff and boyfriend ever.
"Wow, Ed. How do you do this?" Oswald was still impressed. The family were going back home so Nygma and Cobblepot could go to the office.
"The secret is to think fast and aim for the best results, Os." he smiled pulling him into a side hug.
"It seems like I can learn a lot from you in this category." Oswald admitted.
"Never. I know as much as you about parenting. We will manage all of this together. We are cultivating a third life along with ours. It´s sempiternal." he watched Iris, who was too busy playing with one of the plush toys they bought(ironically a purple bat), to listen to their conversation. "Also, I made an appointment with the interior designer that the heads of Gotham usually hire."
"What for?"
"She needs a proper room, Oswald. Or do you think she can sleep in ours forever?"
"...No. Why would you say that?" he laughed forcibly. "Anyway, first thing is to sign and submit the papers of her adoption that are already in the office."
"I know. So the hummingbird will be legally ours..." he looked happy thinking about it. "But won´t it be too obvious with her surname being both yours and mine?" Ed spoke out of concern.
"So what? Don´t act as if everyone didn´t know already Ed! Guess what, they call you 'Gotham´s first man' behind your back all the time!" he revealed.
"They what?!" at that moment Ed wished for a hole in which to hide. "Since when?!"
"And now, maybe we can have a press release presenting the mayor´s and chief of staff´s daughter, their newest pride and joy!" he ignored the question.
"I´m pretty sure it can wait, Os. Now the servants will have a few hours with her until dinner time."
"Oh, what a jolly good time awaits for them! Let´s make everyone unload the car and make Iris go inside. Who will look after her?"
"As you must suppose, Olga, the even older maidservant Miranda and that youngster chamberlain Steve. I believe that they will be enough." Ed had put a lot of thought into the subject.
"Terrific! They already know that she can´t be pestered in any way. So it´s fine."
With everything settled, Oswald finally felt at ease to go to work.
"Bye, hummingbird! Papa and daddy love you! We will be back very soon! Be nice if you want to!" he kissed her forehead.
"Have fun, sweetie!" Ed gave her a wink, as if he knew that she wouldn´t be THAT nice without them around her.
Oh well, what could a kid with new toys, crayons in hand, curiosity, energy and a house full of rooms to discover, books to read (or not) and servants do that would be so mischievous, right?Right?