AGE ONE:
I couldn't feel anything. I was sure my body was trying to protect itself. Imprinting had a way of doing that. It changed everything, and it knew the limitations I had. This very moment being one of the limitations my body now faced.
All of the Cullen's had left the house in search of Alice and Jasper. And I was left with Nessie, still curled up on the couch, sleeping, completely unaware of the danger she was going to face. Her mind surely was still protected without the threat the rest of them now knew of.
The threats too of course, now revolved around me as well.
Because, Nessie was part of me, every part. And anything that troubled her, troubled me just the same, if not more.
I could feel the panic start coming, it crawled as it began its way to my heart. And when it finally made it I fell to the ground beside her, My stomach churned with fear I didn't know I was capable of feeling.
This couldn't be real. Renesmee was innocent, sweet, and young. Much to young to have her life ripped away from her all ready. The Volturi the Cullen's spoke of, couldn't do that. I wouldn't let them. But the way they spoke, none of us would be able to stop them. There was positively no hope. None at all, and that was what petrified me to no end. Because, my angel deserved to live. She had too, the world wouldn't function right without her.
She stretched on the couch, I knew she was preparing to awaken.
I tried desperately to stop those tears from overflowing, but I couldn't make them stop. The thought of her gone, hurt too much.
She opened her eyes, smiling, until that smile turned into a frown, a worried frown. She leaped up and placed her tiny hands around my neck, tapping the back of it with gently pats. One hand moved to my cheek.
What's wrong? She thought urgently. She looked around the room, and I saw the desperation in her thoughts as she saw the house was empty besides the two of us.
Water began to dribble down her cheeks too.
"Did they leave me, Jacob?" she asked, her high soprano voice echoing.
"Shh. No, baby girl." I said as I gained the strength to lift her small body. I cradled her against me heated chest. "They'll be back, I promise." I whispered in her ear, and the water dripping down my neck came to a sudden stop.
She looked up at me with her warm brown eyes.
"Why are you crying?" she asked as she reassuringly rubbed my cheeks. She was comforting me, how messed up was that? I was the one who should have been reassuring her. Not the other way around.
She spoke again, this time like an adult determined to get an answer.
"Jacob, what are you not telling me?" she said sternly.
She looked one and she was sitting here, scolding me. She was just much too perfect to destroy. I would come up with a solution, a plan, to keep her heart beating. That was the only thing that filled my mind now, finding her a way out of this.
"Jacob.." she began again, this time pleading.
I couldn't refuse those eyes, even if I hadn't imprinted on her, and I wasn't literally forced to do what she pleased, I was sure anyone couldn't refuse her.
"We're in a bit of a pickle, Ness. Some people aren't so happy about our family and it might be a little tricky too find a way around them. Don't worry, precious." I said as I smoothed back a ringlet of her hair.
I wouldn't speak of the absolute fact that they all were sentenced to death, sure she had the capacity to understand that, but she was just so small, so fragile. She shouldn't have to endure that pain. That I would keep from her.
I bent down to kiss the top of her head.
"Do mommy and daddy know?" she asked.
"Yes sweetheart, they know. Just try and go back to sleep. You've never been up this early. Your parents might get mad at me." I said and tried to smile, it felt wrong even as I did. But, when she showed me my face again, I realized just how pathetic I had looked.
If I was going to try and persuade Nessie into thinking this wasn't as big of a deal as it actually was, then I surely was going to have to try harder than that. She saw right through it, she was a smart little girl, and soon enough things would fall into place if I acted like that.
"Come on, sweetie, go back to sleep. I know your tired." I begged her.
She showed me my face, the huge dark circles under my eyes. And then the image changed to one of the two of us on the couch sleeping.
Once her hand was back in her lap, she pointed at me with the other, her eyes completely and totally serious.
"I mean it, Jacob. Please rest."she said. "I close my eyes when you close yours."
And I could actually laugh this time, because I knew I would find this precious child a way out of this.
She seemed to smile when a did, her giggles ensued after my deep chuckle. The sound was musical.
"All right baby girl." I said as I pulled her closer to myself.
And then I pretended to close my eyes. With the Cullen's on high alert there was no way I was going to risk sleep. But, Renesmee, though wise way beyond her years, was still a child. She trusted those around her, the ones she loved. And I hated to pretend with her, but she needed rest, and I needed to protect her.
I waited to hear her snores, she placed her hand on my cheek and showed me warm and pleasant images. I heard her sigh and felt her cuddle closer into my side. And then the images in my head began to not make sense. Random pictures with no connections, colors, faces, my face most frequently, and a slight edge of fear to the dream. The fear only was there with the concern of her family. She had no idea the danger we all faced, she was only worried about the stress it caused. She wanted everyone happy, not on edge.
As soon as I knew she was totally under I opened my eyes, to see her eyes shut.
I could smell the clan coming closer and I knew it would be soon when the Cullen's arrived back in the house.
Edward came first and the despair in his eyes brought back mine, it couldn't be hidden forever. But it was Bella's face that scared me the most, even as a vampire I had never seen her more perturbed with sorrow. Looking at her face was actually painful.
I knew the answer to my question before I ever even asked it.
"There is no way around it. Is there? We are all going to die?" I asked, my eyes stressed on Nessie.
"Yes, Jacob. We will do all we can, but Alice and Jasper are gone." Edward answered for me, his voice hazy and distant. I faintly remembered his voice when he had told me about Bella, my memories form that time were dim, as Renesmee was now the center of my life. It was strange how much color and vibrancy had been missing from that time. Now that I had her, everything was filled with light, and it was difficult to remember anything without that plangency she gave my life now.
"We have to protect her." I whispered, my voice cracking in the strangest of all places.
"I know." Bella said, her voice sharp like ice crystals. "We all three will do everything to keep her safe." she added, her voice determined. Edward and I, both, nodded in agreement.
And I knew that this was true, somehow Nessie would be saved. She had to be because she was everything the world needed.
I rested my chin on her head as she slept. My thoughts completely wrapped around everything about her. Yes, without her, the world would be nothing. An empty place.
My Nessie, my angel.