Kappa Mikey:

Snarkymen Fever

Part 2

By Emerald

"So what's with the monsters in compact spaces thing, Guano? Hasn't it been done before?" Mikey asked after unsuccessfully trying to ride the dragon three more times.

"Yeah, it's one of those recurring fads." Guano explained. "It goes away for awhile, and then comes back later stronger than ever. At that point you just have to follow the crowd and hope that you can survive long enough for it all to pass over."

"That's stupid." Mikey replied.

"That's showbiz. You can't fight it Mikey." Guano said.

"Hmm, or can you…?" Mikey thought. He imagined himself squaring off against showbiz in an American wrestling ring. He ran towards his adversary, who only had to take a step to the left in order to evade the clumsy attack. Then showbiz reached his arms under Mikey's and flipped backwards, landing his opponent on his head. Showbiz raised its arms into the air in victory as the defeated challenger desperately tried to lift himself off the mat.

"FINISH HIM!" shouted the announcer of the match, jumping on top of the commentators' desk in his underwear.

"Okay, maybe that would be a bad idea." Mikey said, snapping out of his dreamlike state. "So what brought back this stupid monster idea anyway?"

"The same thing as always," Guano said angrily, "the Snarkymen. Every time they make a comeback the rest of us have to suffer."

"Snarkymen? Didn't they come out like, a hundred years ago?" Mikey asked.

"Yes. And they still won't die!" Guano said, pulling out a Snarkymen toy that looked like a horse with ice in its mane, which he proceeded to brutally beat into the ground. After failing to make a single dent in the plastic creature, Guano dropped the toy and broke down in tears.

"Yeah, these things are like, indestructible." Gonard said, picking up the plaything. Then he turned around and threw it straight at a wall with the speed of a bullet. Unfortunately, the camera man was walking past with a $3,000 camera at the time. Luckily, he was pushing the camera so fast that it was not hit with the plastic projectile, and it only hit him in the temple instead.

"I'm sure he's fine." Gonard said, though the body wasn't moving.

"Look, let's just hurry up and finish before Ozu shows up again." Lily said, voicing everyone's' opinion. They all agreed and began setting things up to shoot again. The comatose camera man was replaced by an inflatable extra as paramedics came in and put the injured on a stretcher. Then the medical crew and their patient went into the elevator, which promptly broke free from its cord and all of them fell ten stories down.

Mitsuki was busy putting Mr. Featherbottom back into the lily-cube. First she put a pillow in the container and then wrapped the doll in a blanket before gently squeezing it into the tight space. She struggled to seal the cube tightly, and succeeded a minute later.

"You really like that thing, don't you Mitsuki?" Mikey said, who had been watching the event curiously. It was odd for him since he had the tendency to ignore the blue haired girl half of the time.

"Yeah, I almost like it as much as I like you." Mitsuki said. Then she realized that she had said that out loud and immediately became embarrassed. Mikey had already gone back to ignoring her though, so no harm had been done. Mitsuki didn't know whether to be relieved or upset.

"Okay, places everybody!" Guano said. Mitsuki handed the lily-cube to Mikey before climbing onto the stack of boxes (which wouldn't be seen in the shot) that she would leap from along with Guano and Lily. Mikey and Gonard got into their respective places as well, although Gonard had to be reminded to turn around, as well as stand right side up. The blue city backdrop fell behind them with a loud "thud" and the scene was set. Then the green dragon broke free from his restraints and knocked down the entire set.

Ten minutes later, everything had been fixed and the dragon was being held back until his entrance by the entire Chum biker gang.

"Action!" Guano shouted. Mikey and Gonard started exchanging their lines as Guano directed the camera men during his time off-screen. Everything was going fine, and when the time came for the rest of the Lily-Mu cast to jump down behind Mikey, the men behind the cameras knew what to do.

"What do you have up your sleeve, Gonard?" Mitsuki asked after landing along with the rest, clenching a fist in front of her face once again.

"Guano, guano!" Guano added, clearly showing that he played an important role in the show.

"It's not what I have up my sleeve that's important, though even that could defeat you Lily Drools (that was a last minute line change), but it's what I have in my…pocket!" he produced a small blue and gold cube from his right pocket (just to switch things up), and the still poor animation showed only two drawings of the motion.

"What, do you think luck will be on your side with that die?" Lily said, happy that the people watching the show wouldn't have to see them doing all of this over again.

"Oh no, it is not the die that will crush you; rather, it is what is inside that will make you die!" Gonard said. Somewhere, a kitten that had just recovered from hearing that line the first time fell and had a stroke. As Gonard taunted them and the cat's owner cried, the villain threw the square object and it hit the ground in an explosion of bright pink special effects.

When the lights had dissipated, a five foot tall green dragon was standing before the overly horrified heroes. It was wearing a muzzle now, which made it look slightly less fearsome. There was also a rope tied to one of his legs that the Chums were still holding onto off stage. The ever-cool Mikey didn't act phased by the dangerous creature before him.

"Bad news, Gonard. I've recently caught a Lily-creature that puts yours to shame!" the American hero said. The scene where Lily and Mitsuki appeared relieved was cut out due to budget. Mikey pulled out a cube of his own and threw it at the ground. Another gratuitous display of visual effects was triggered, and one had to wonder how much budget was going to those 3D explosions.

"Prepare to face the awesome power of…" the effects cleared to show the form of…the lily-cube. It had failed to pop open.

"Cut!" Guano cried, and everyone experience deja-vu.

"Now what's wrong?!" Lily yelled, growling like a lion.

"The cube didn't open. Don't worry, this shouldn't take long to fix." Guano said, calm despite occurrence. "Mikey, just go and get the lily-creature out of its box and put it where the cube landed. Then we'll just edit the scene so that it'll look like it came out of the lily-cube."

"Alright." Mikey said. He picked up the cube and tried to pry it open. When that didn't work he started hitting it against the ground. After that he tried throwing it, blowing it up with dynamite, and putting it into a sandwich that Gonard was eating. An hour later, the box still hadn't opened and Gonard was missing three teeth.

"Yeah, get the weakest person here to open the box. Real good idea there, Guano." Lily said. Guano was too bust agonizing over the gaping hole from the explosive to listen.

"Hey, can I say something? I haven't said anything for a long time." Gonard said, spitting more teeth out as he spoke.

"Sorry Gonard. What is it?" Mitsuki asked, who also hadn't said anything in awhile.

"I think I need to go to the hospital." And then he passed out from the pain of losing so many teeth.

"Look! Just get the bleep thing open so we can finish the bloop show!" Guano screamed. He had the tendency to swear when he got upset and have his head set on fire spontaneously. Both were happening at that moment.

"I've got an idea!' Mitsuki said, a little light bulb appearing over her head. She looked up and saw it. After finding out that it had been noticed, the light bulb quickly flew away. "I don't know what that was all about. Anyway, I know how we can open it. Mikey, I'll need you to hold the lily-cube on the ground. I'll run towards it and kick the latch, which should open it."

Surprisingly, Mikey had paid attention to her. Mitsuki made a mental count in her head of how many times that had happened today.

"Okay, so I just have to hold it like this?" Mikey said, bent down on one knee and holding the lily-cube down.

"Yeah, just make sure you don't let go. Here I come!" Mitsuki said from a few feet away. Then she charged at Mikey and the cube with the force of a pack of bulls. Suddenly, Mikey remembered that Mitsuki used to be a spy (which he hadn't remembered for awhile due to being violently tazered) and held onto the cube for dear life, afraid that if he let go after it was kicked his arms would be pulled out of the sockets. Any thoughts of pulling the box away like in Peanuts were dashed from his mind.

Ker-Punt!

"Ahhhhhh!" Mikey yelled, flying through the air with the still-closed lily-cube in his hands. He was heading straight for the window that Yes-man had flown through earlier.

"Mikey, no!" Mitsuki cried, who had underestimated her strength. Lily had a smile the size and shape of Florida stretching across her face.

Suddenly, Gonard recovered from the pain he had been in earlier. He then remembered his days as body guard to the prime minister of Japan. He ate five sandwiches, put on some dark sunglasses, and then ran faster than even Mitsuki had. He caught Mikey's legs just before they went out the window along with the rest of his body.

"Hooray!" everyone except for Lily cheered as brass trumpets played a victorious tune. Gonard hoisted the thankful Mikey back into the studio, and everyone clapped. They stopped when they noticed that he didn't have the box in his hands anymore.

"Mikey, where'd the Lily-cube go?" Guano asked.

"I don't know. When Gonard grabbed me it flew out of my hands. Sorry guys." Mikey said sadly.

While the other were only disappointed, Mitsuki was crying. She couldn't blame Mikey for dropping it; it had been her fault for kicking it to hard. She cursed her training as a spy for the hundredth time.

Mikey couldn't stand to see Mitsuki cry, which was why he usually didn't pay her any attention. She was always crying for some reason or other. But Mikey blamed himself for dropping her favorite toy, and he was determined to fix what he had done.

"Don't worry, Mitsuki. I'll get Mr. Flowerbottom back for you!" Mikey said. Mitsuki stopped crying long enough to see Mikey jump out the window.

"Noooo!" she cried. Gonard was still close by and wearing those awesome shades, though. He caught Mikey by the legs again as he prepared to dive down to find the toy. Then he threw him back into the studio, not bothering to put him down gently.

"Mikey, how many times are you going to do that?" Gonard asked.

"Maybe once more…" Mikey said while standing up.

"You know, I don't think you need to jump out the window to get down there." Mitsuki said, exasperated from watching Mikey almost die twice in the same day.

"You're right!" Mikey said, snapping his fingers. "I'll ride the dragon down!"

Everyone looked back at the set to see the Chum gang wrestling with the dragon on the floor. The monster was shooting jets of flames from his mouths, barbecuing bikers left and right.

"He broke out of the muzzle! Run for your lives!" one of them screamed before being immolated.

"Uh, maybe we can just take the elevator." Mitsuki said, an anime sweat drop running down her face.

"Yeah, that's a good idea too." Mikey agreed. They all went to into the unbroken elevator next to the broken one as the sounds of the battle raged behind them. With a "ding" the doors closed and they began to descend.

"How did the dragon get a bazooka?!" were the last words they heard as they continued their drop.

End of Part 2

Authors Note: Yay, I get to talk some more! Well, here is the second part. It was really fun to write, and easy because the Lily-Mu scene was copied right from the first part and edited to include more jokes and a few changes so that it wasn't repetitive. So far I've gotten some positive opinions, but I'll need more if you want me to finish this thing. So review at or E-mail me at:

emerald DOT hedge yahoo DOT com

Paragraphs 17-27 are dedicated to a member of the Kappa Mikey Fans Forum (Sammy Love) who though the first part was "Awesome!" and motivated me to write those paragraphs that day. Kind of funny that most of those paragraphs turned out to be copy-and past, huh? Ha ha. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed it and if you did, tell me and I'll make sure that there is more to come!

Paragraphs 1-12 are also dedicated to my first fanfiction DOT net reviewer (Mattie Scary). Sorry I forgot to put this in when I first uploaded. I wrote this on a different laptop without internet access and I couldn't remember your name. I told myself I would add it in right before I posted it, but I forgot. Well, at least it's in now. Sorry!