Nightfall Wars

by Arthur Hansen

Sylia recieves a wake up call to the night, from a vampire. Added the MSTing from SVM that they did a really long time ago.

2. MSTing from SVM

Mystery World of Darkness Theater 3000 "Nightfall Wars" by Arthur Hansen MSTed with a grin by Ben Da Mad Irishman

It was morning on the Satellite of Love. Theoretically, anyway.
When one orbits the Earth, morning and evening were subjective. Since Mike Nelson had just woken up, he considered it morning. He dressed in a clean jumpsuit and poured a cup of coffee.
At the wheel of the SOL was Gypsy. Mike was still somewhat taken aback at her appearance; Gypsy looked like a vacuum cleaner with a miner's lamp for an eye. Her head swieveled around 180 degrees as he walked in. "Morning, Mike," she greeted him. Her high-pitched voice was the only reason he could consider the robot as being remotely female. Gypsy was the brain of the SOL, running all of the satellite's functions. She was utterly reliable and relatively stable, which was more than Mike could say for the other two robots he and Gypsy shared the SOL with.
"The Mads sent you something up the Umbilicus last night," she told him as he took another drink of his coffee. Mike sighed. The Mads-SOL patois for Dr. Clayton Forrester and his assistant, TV's Frank-were the reason why he was trapped in space with three robots for company to begin with. If they had sent him something through the Umbilicus, the tether that connected the SOL to the Earth-somehow-it was most likely nothing good. "Thanks, Gypsy.
Where is it?"
"On the bridge."
Mike walked onto the small bridge of the SOL and stopped cold. On the long table of the bridge was what appeared to be a young girl, dressed in pajamas and ridiculous looking bearpaw slippers. She was curled up in a fetal position, apparently asleep. Her face was attractive, framed by raven hair that emphasized her pale skin. The hair was pulled back into a long ponytail that hung over the desk and had a white streak dyed down the center.
"Crow," was all Mike could think of saying.
At that moment, Tom Servo glided onto the bridge. Servo resembled what would happen if a gumball machine and a fire hydrant were able to mate. "Good morning, Mike-" he said cheerfully, then suddenly leapt backwards in shock. He tried to point at the girl on the table, but as his arms didn't work, he inclined his head at her instead. "M-Mike? W-What is that?"
Mike finally found his voice. "I think it's a girl."
"Oh," Servo said in relief. "That explains-huh?" He bobbed up and down in consternation. "Mike? What is a girl doing here?"
"Has Crow been borrowing my credit cards again?"
"Not since I maxed out your credit limit," Crow T. Robot said, walking onto the bridge. "I thought I heard my name called-" He too jumped in shock. "Whoa! A human of the female type! How'd she get here?" He noticed Servo and Mike looking at him. "Hey, don't look at me." He would have put his hands up defensively, except that his arms didn't work either. "I swore off things like this after that fake Russian Gamer Bride ad and the Goddess Help Line."
"Wait, wait," Mike said, remembering. "Gypsy said the Mads sent her to us."
"Well, you are up here all alone, Mike," Crow said, leering. "And she's kind of a hottie-in a Britney Spears kinda way." He nudged Mike. "Maybe Dr. F has another experiment in mind..."
Servo began shaking his bubble head. "Crow, ixnay on the entaihay...remember?"
Crow's eyes narrowed, then he nodded. "Oh. Oh, yeah, I was trying to quit. Right." He nudged Mike again, this time with his beak. "Mike! How dare you bring this, this waif, onto the station? This poor, innocent child! You horrible monster! How could you?"
"What? Me?" Mike sputtered. "But I didn't-"
"Oh, sure, play the innocent! It's not like Mike Nelson ever does anything wrong, does he? A little incident with a certain multibillion dollar telescope comes to mind! Now what do you have to say for yourself-"
Servo interrupted Crow's tirade. "Guys! She's moving."
The girl was indeed moving. She curled up tighter, then her eyes opened and she rolled over, seeing the speechless trio for the first time. She blinked, then smiled and laughed softly.
"Oh, boy, do I need to quit eating Caramel Honey Chocolate Suicide Crunch before bedtime...damn weird dreams..." She rolled over again, then seemed to come to a realization that she was not sleeping on a comfortable bed but a rather uncomfortable piece of metal. She sat up abruptly, looked at Tom, Mike, and Crow in sequence, her mouth moving but no sound coming out. "Wha-how-" She found her voice. "Where the hell am I? Who the hell are you?"
"Welcome to hell," Crow said, pitching his voice low and sinister. Mike slapped him on the back of the head.
"That's enough, Crow." Mike, not knowing what else to do, put out a hand in greeting. "Hello. I'm Mike Nelson and these are my robot friends, Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot. Welcome to the Satellite of Love."
"I was close," Crow grumbled.
"Uhm...hello. I'm Allegra." She got down off the table. "I guess I'm pleased to meet you. You look normal, but these two..." She pointed to Servo. "He looks like a cross between a fireplug and a bubble gum machine with a skirt." Then she pointed to Crow. "He looks like a gold bird with a catcher's mitt on his head. Kind of cute, though."
"I don't like her, Mike," Servo said darkly.
"I like her, Mike," Crow said worshipfully.
At that point, a red button on the desk began blinking. "What's that?" Allegra asked.
"Federal Express," Mike growled, and hit the button. On the viewscreen appeared an older man, his hair sticking out at odd angles, both hair and mustache streaked with white. Everything he wore was green, including his spectacles. "Good morning, my experiments three-plus one." He smiled widely and evilly at Allegra. "Enjoying your new surroundings?"
She put her hands on her narrow hips. "Who's that idiot?Experiments?" Mike leaned down to her ear-she wasn't very tall-and whispered. "Doctor? I see..." she said as he explained in hushed tones. "Mad scientist...makessense...right...experiments...stuck in space...bad movies...take over the world. Got it. Thanks."
"And this doesn't bother you?" Mike asked.
"I've seen a lot of weird things, Mr. Nelson. This rates only a seven or so on my Strange-O-Meter." She pointed at Forrester. "Listen, Doc. I don't know what possessed you to stick me up here, or how you managed to kidnap me from my apartment, but you bring us down from here this instant and maybe I'll let you live."
Forrester chuckled. "My dear, you may have realized that you're several thousand miles in geosynchronous orbit. Unless you can exist in hard vacuum and survive unprotected reentry,
there's not much you can do to me! I think I've got a evil laugh scripted here..." He looked down at something unseen. "I do!" With that, he screamed in maniacal laughter.
Allegra raised an eyebrow and looked at Mike. "You guys put up with this?"
"You get used to it," Mike replied.
Abruptly, Forrester cut off his laugh and returned his attention to the four of them. "Well, enough of that for now. Time for today's experiment. As for you, dearie, you'll understand why you've joined my little trio." He looked at Mike. "In the spirit of Halloween, Mike, your little piece of text-based horror today, Mike, is a 'Bubblegum Crisis' fic called 'Nightfall Wars.' If I can drive you and skunk-girl insane, then I've truly outdone myself this time.
Frank! Get in here!"
"Wait a second," Allegra grinned savagely. "What are you gonna do if we say no? Huh?"
"Hey, lady, shut up," Tom hissed. "You don't know who you're dealing with!"
"A freak in green," Allegra replied. "C'mon, you guys! Stand up for your rights! Be men! You don't have to take this!"
"What a charming speech," Forrester said with mock sincerity. "Mike, why don't you inform her what happens when you don't go into the theater?Mike whispered more into Allegra's ear. "He cuts off your oxygen?" she said, aghast. "That's evil!"
"Thank you," Forrester beamed. "I try."
Allegra turned back to Forrester. "Not hard enough, Gangrene. I'm a vampire. I don't need oxygen."
"You're a WHAT?" Tom, Mike, Crow, and Dr. Forrester said simutaneously.
Tom and Crow hugged Mike tightly. "Mike! Don't let her suck out our energy!"
"I'm not that kind of vampire," Allegra reassured them. "I drink blood."
Mike went pale. Tom and Crow let go. "Oh," Crow said. "Well, in that case..." He moved away from Mike. "You're on your own, Mike."
On the viewscreen, Dr. Forrester had hauled TV's Frank into view. "You brought a vampire onto the satellite! Fool! What were you thinking?"
Frank looked geniunely shocked. "But Dr. F! You said you wanted a specialist!"
"Not like that, numbskull!" He turned back to the viewscreen. "Well. How interesting, boobies. I suppose that just makes today's experiment, when successful, even more important."
"Too bad I'm not participating," Allegra said, folding her arms across her breasts defiantly.
"Yes, you will," Forrester insisted. "I can't hurt you by cutting off the oxygen, Allegra, but I can kill off your food source."
Allegra bit her lip in thought. "Hmm. You're right. Okay, then. But when I get down from here, Doc, you and your henchman there are cutlets." She regarded TV's Frank. "Though he is nice looking, for a henchman."
"Let's see how you look in a jumpsuit," Forrester snarled at her. "Send them the fic, Frank."
"She said I was nice looking..." Frank said dreamily, then Forrester smacked him in the back of the head. "What? Oh, right. The fic. Live to serve, sir."
Lights flashed and alarms warbled. "WE'VE GOT FIC SIGN!" shouted Mike, Tom, and Crow, running in circles in chaos. Allegra shrugged, then did the same. When in Rome...
They entered the theater a few minutes later, Allegra wearing one of Mike's spare jumpsuits. Mike set Tom down in the leftmost seat and sat down next to him, Crow doing the same next to Mike, and Allegra taking up a seat on Crow's right.

Allegra: So let's get this straight one more time. The freak with the weird hair makes you watch bad movies or read bad text in an attempt to drive you insane, and you riff said fics or movies to keep your sanity.
Mike: That's it.
Allegra: Sounds easy enough. Thanks for the jumpsuit, by the way. My jammies get a little drafty.
Mike (nervously): Uh...the part about me being your food source...
Allegra: You should really just relax, Mike. I fed a few days ago. I'll be all right...for awhile, anyway.
Mike: I'm not reassured.
Crow: It's not OUR blood she'll be after, fleshy.

MegaTokyo, Nightfall Wars

Allegra: Wait a second. 'Nightfall Wars'? Why would Nightfall be having a war in MegaTokyo? Isn't she an ElfQuest character?
Tom: You learn quickly, child.
Crow: Yeah, she's already obscure.

Flashing lights stabbed through the smog ridden night's air, bringing dim illumination to ramshackle buildings and sleazy bars.

Tom: When visiting MegaTokyo, please check out the wonderful nightlife and beautiful scenery!

Whores hawked themselves, calling out into the night tiredly.

Mike: This is what I like about the author. He doesn't bandy words like 'prostitute' or 'fallen women,' he just comes out and calls them whores.
Allegra (whores): Hey, sailor, if you're not busy or anything...yawn...

A group of toughs leered appreciatively, but kept their hands near hidden guns.

Crow: Because you never can trust those whores not to put a cap in you.

Nervous eyes watched for other gangs and the far less likely cops. Asian, African and European ethnicities rubbed shoulder to shoulder with each other, stoically ignoring each other.

Mike: The future, ladies and gentlemen. Aren't you filled with hope and anticipation?
Allegra: Back to back they faced each other...

The occasional transient watched nervously, begging for a few hundred yen.

Crow: I waste 'em with my crossbow!
Tom: Dibs on the tin cup!

Frozen puddles of unclean water showed the chillness of late January, in the cramped canyons of the slums.

Tom: Where the wind whispered "Mariah."
Allegra: More like "Pariah."

And striding from a nearby parked car, as if a rose in a patch of weeds,

Crow: Like a kiss from a rose on a grave?

a tall and elegant young women walked towards a nearby bar.

Allegra: A women? Plural or singular? Which is it?
Mike: Leave the grammar flames alone, Allegra, or we'll be here all night.
Allegra: Like you have somewhere else to go...

Short, but perfectly coiffed, dark hair contrasted with a pale woman's suit, black ruffled shirt and high heels finished off the ensemble, mostly hidden beneath a long winter coat.

Tom: So why bother to describe it, then?

One of the toughs looked over, a wide grin of malice on his face. Her gaze barely drifted over him, cold and calculating. He blinked, suddenly feeling that strange emotion of prey, being ignored because he was too weak, too...insignificant.

Crow: You're not worthy! You're not worthy!

Her grace was unconscious and lithe, as that of a predator.

(Allegra makes a snarling noise, very much like that of a Predator. As in Arnold Schwarznegger and.)
Mike (shuddering): Don't do that.
Crow: Good one, Allegra.

She walked down the steps and into the bar, breaking her eye contact.

Crow: Nobody move! I just broke a contact.

The ruffian's attention was brought back to his fellows acts.

Mike: The woman with a mustache and bat-boy?

In mere moments, he would convince himself that he must have been imagining things.

Tom (ruffian): Must've been swamp gas or a weather balloon or something...

Sylia Stingray's eyes flitted across the bar's patrons. Less than normal and probably mostly gang members to boot. They fit in easily with the damaged furniture and peeling walls of this dump.

Allegra: I'm not sure if she's in a bar or a college dorm.
Mike: Hard to tell, huh?

Fargo was in one of the most rumpled and nondescript brown suits in existence.

Allegra: Poor guy. Named after a town in North Dakota.

He was talking to an unfamiliar face behind the bar. Sylia glided up to the bar.

Mike: But then she caught a downdraft and hit the floor. Get it? Glided? Downdraft?
Tom, Crow, and Allegra (deadpan): We get it, Mike.
Mike: Gee. Tough crowd tonight.

"A martini." Sylia waited a moment for the bartender to procure the drink.

Tom: Shaken, not stirred.
Crow: Stingray. Sylia Stingray.
Allegra: Licensed to kill robots.
Crow: Now you just watch it there, missy.

Fargo nodded to her, signaling an almost empty corner where he usually did his business.

Mike: They walked into the men's room?

He walked over and sat down, fidgeting with his own drink in its shot glass. A minute later, Sylia sat next to him. "Did you find out anything about Genom's involvement with emergency landing of Shuttle Flight number 286-A?" she asked calmly. She pulled a drag off of her cigarette daintily.

Allegra: How in heck can you get lung cancer daintily?

Fargo nodded. "Yeah. Scuttlebutt is that Genom rigged the ship to crash near a location of their choice. Five hundred million Yen in experimental data and prototypes from the United States Military, en route to an undisclosed base here in Japan.

Crow: Five hundred million Yen? That's like, what, ten bucks?
Allegra: Isn't this how Madox-O1 started?
Tom: Hey! You're otaku?
Allegra: Hai, Tom-san.
Tom: Yoi!
Mike: Great. Now there's two of them.

The Minister of Defense can't put out a hue and cry about the missing equipment, as ninety percent of it was illegal here in Japan."

Tom: And the other ten percent was just old Gundam models.

"You're positive that it was Genom? Not another multi-national?" Sylia asked. She hadn't had much luck finding out about what it had actually contained.
"According to my source. He claims to have seen which warehouse they stored it in," Fargo replied. He took a swallow from his drink, licking his lips.

Crow (Fargo): Man, I just can't get enough of gasoline!
Allegra: Wait a second. Most experimental prototypes tend to be delicate, and if the shuttle crashed and burned, wouldn't the warehouse be full of junk?
Mike: No, it's American made.

"Where?" Sylia tapped her finger on the side of her glass.

Crow: It shattered.

Why would Genom bother to steal prototype weapons. Most of their own designs were years ahead of the competition. The rest were merely comparable.
"He wouldn't tell me. Says he doesn't like dealing with middleman."
Fargo shrugged for effect.

Tom: Yes, Middleman! Here to do battle with the Amazing Rando!

"How much is he asking for?" Figurative little warning bells started going off in Sylia's brain.

Crow: DONG! DONG! DONG! DIVE! DIVE! DIVE!

Her face played straight and calm.

Allegra: Straight flush or deuces wild?
Mike: Gives new meaning to poker face.
Tom: I bet her ears are ringing from those warning bells.

"Six hundred thousand yen by midnight tonight." Fargo's eyes blinked every few seconds.

Mike: He really needs to get that tic looked at.

"And he'll only deal with me?" Sylia's leg muscles tensed,

Tom: Argh! Charlie horse!

her eyes darted to the opening of the booth. Her mind catalogued each and every person in the bar.

Allegra (Sylia): Punk, $12.99. Barfly, $6.99. Passed-out drunk on the floor: Priceless.

"That's what he said," Fargo said woodenly.

Tom: Fargo IS Pinnochio.

The tense atmosphere seemed to thicken in anticipation.

Allegra: People began to drop dead from the lack of oxygen.

"I'll have to think about it. Your payment will be in the normal place."

Mike: In the bank, I assume.

Fargo nodded, his hand tightening unconsciously around his glass. He could not raise his eyes to look up at her as she left.

Crow: He really should stop drinking.

Sylia stood up and started to walk towards the door, when three tough guys stepped into her way. She didn't even slow down while she snapped her small handgun out of her ready purse, letting loose four shots into two of them and snapping a kick at the final one.

Crow: Jeez! Panadol, anyone?
Mike (tough guy): We...were just going to...hold the door for you...

Her gun arm was grabbed abruptly while she was balanced mid kick, her arm up in the air. Shock showed on her face as she looked over her shoulder at one of the thugs that had been in the far corner only a moment ago, easily forty feet away.

Mike: I don't know, I'd move pretty quick if someone started shooting random people in a bar.

He pulled the gun out of her hand professionally as he started to talk.

Tom: Don't try this at home, he's a professional.

"Now, now. That's enough of that," he said, charm oozing off of his voice. "You're a feisty one, aren't you? Can't have you shooting up me boys though. You're good, really good."

Crow: Oh, sure, like it takes talent to shoot two people and kick a third.

Sylia twisted as she punched him in the stomach twice and then planted her palm under his jaw.

Tom: Body blow! Body blow! Uppercut!

She was starting to become unnerved, as she noted that he seemed to not feel the blows at all, standing unmoved.
Boomer!

Crow: So all guys that can take a couple of punches are Boomers?
Tom: In BGC, they are.

"Let me go." Perhaps words would work better, now that her escape options were untenable.

Allegra: Let's see. You've shot two of this guy's friends without provocation, tried to kick another, then punched this guy three times, and NOW you decide to talk?

The dark red haired man thought about it for a second. "No."

Mike: Well, at least he gave it some thought.

"If it's money you want, I don't carry more than a thousand Yen."
He smiled nastily, lips tight in a grinning rictus.

Tom: That sounds painful.

"Yup. That's what I want. And your boss's access to military hardware."
Sylia blinked in surprise. She must be getting sloppy, if he knew that.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
He backhanded her into a table, splitting her lip and loosening her teeth.

Mike: Ow. No more Silky Doll commercials for Sylia.
Allegra (Sylia): Hardware, right, now I remember. Black and Decker or Craftsman?

He walked over and picked her up by her throat as casually as if she were a small child's doll. "Wrong answer."

Tom (Darth Vader): Where are the plans sent to this ship?

His eyes seemed to become pits of darkness, sucking in her gaze along with all of the existing light.

Allegra: He's a black hole?

"Tell us where you store the stuff and how to get all of your money."

Mike: Those telemarketers just get more and more insistent every day.

Sylia felt the compulsion flitter across her mind, demanding adherence to his command. She blinked in surprise and stopped her voice from illogically blurting out the address to the Silky Doll. "I'm just an intermediary. I don't know where they keep the equipment they have me procure."

Crow (Rebel): This is a consular ship...on a diplomatic mission...
Tom (Darth): If this is a consular ship, where is the ambassador?
Mike: All right, boys, enough with the Star Wars refs.
(Tom and Crow snicker.)

Those eyes seemed to bore into her eyes. "Is that the truth?"

Tom: YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!

"Yes," Sylia said, shrugging off the compelling voice again. Was he a new boomer, with some sort of hypnotic power? That would not work on her.

Allegra (Jabba): Your Jedi mind tricks will not work on me, boy.
Mike: Now don't YOU start.

"Who do you work for?" His smiling face had turned grim. He couldn't be so wrong about this women could he? He snorted. It didn't matter, in the long run.

Crow (man): She wants me.

"I am currently employed by EMS Engineering's Mateo Dupont. He is already aware of what is happening here," Sylia bluffed, her expression flat.

Allegra: Wow. First she was straight, now she's flat. Next she'll be just bland.

"Really?" the man said in a conversational voice. He jerked his thumb at one of the people surrounding her, who was holding up a device of some sort.

Tom (Jackie): Check out my Game Boy!

"Jackie says that you aren't wired. So I bet you're boss doesn't know, yet." He grinned suddenly. "So you're going to join my team."

Allegra: The Bengals finally decide to give up on the whole draft day crap.

"I'm not available for hire." Beads of sweat started to drip down her back.

Crow: She should have used Sure.

"Who said anything about hiring you?" he said, grinning. "My name is Devlin of Clan McQueen. And... I am a vampire."

Allegra: That's the worst pickup line I've ever heard!
Crow: He forgot the "I was born on the shores of Loch Shiel" bit.
Tom: And shouldn't that be "My name is Steve of the Clan McQueen?"

He suddenly bared his very real looking fangs. "And now, so are you!"

Mike: I think this is where you come in, "specialist" Allegra.
Allegra: Thanks, Mike. I figured that out.

Sylia had but a moment to be shocked as she saw all of the thugs and ruffians bare their own teeth.

Allegra (really angry): Hey, great idea! Let's just blow the Masquerade to pieces! Idiots! Morons!
Crow: Mike? What's she talking about?
Mike: Just smile and nod, Crow.

Her neck was suddenly twisted sideways as

Mike: Devlin broke her neck. Whoops! Doesn't know his own strength.

pain stabbed two points of unbelievable ecstasy into her supple neck.

Tom: (stoned) Oh. Oh, wow!

She struck and punched frantically, her mind fighting against her own body's lethargy and Devlin's incredible strength. Slowly, her hands quit struggling as her gaze started to fog over. The last thing she saw was Fargo looking at her with sad, tortured eyes as her own eyes rolled up into her head.

Tom: Yep, pretty much describes the audience's reaction right about now.

Slowly, oh so slowly, her heart beat. Longer and longer it paused.

Crow: Beep. Beep. Beep...beep...beep.

She barely felt Devlin release her from his bite. One moment, then two moments and her heart no longer beat.

Crow: Beeeeee...

Sylia could not even scream aloud as some liquid was poured down her throat, burning as if the most potent of acid, sickening salty.

Mike: It's not a good idea to use Mad Dog 20/20 to revive her.

Devlin smiled as he felt her take her first active sip of his blood. He cradled her carefully as she suckled unconsciously, her body betraying her to the darkness of night.

Allegra (putting hand to brow in mock consternation): A monster I am, lest a monster I become!
Crow: Mike? I'm smiling and nodding, but she's still doing it.

After just a few moments, he pulled his wrist away, the blood stopping its flow.
He watched in anticipation for a few minutes. The first few moments of a vampire's existence were usually the most traumatic that a person ever experienced. It was important for them to see their sire and understand their helplessness.

Allegra: Actually, it's important to get the hell away from them because a newly-made vampire usually attacks the first thing he or she sees.
Mike: You speak from experience, I take it.
Allegra: Yeah. The same thing happens when we go without blood for awhile.
Mike: Gulp...
Tom: Yeah, you've got problems, Mike.

Sylia twitched continuously, her body uncontrolled by any motive force.
Devlin started to frown. She should have become conscious by now.

Mike (Devlin): Hmm. Was it "drain their blood and then feed them some of my own" or the other way around? I never can remember these things.

Slowly, the twitching subsided. Jackie started to lean down to whisper something in Devlin's ear, when he was suddenly knocked aside by Devlin.

Tom (Jackie): Ow! Hey, all I said was if you wanted a cigarette! Jeez!

He lifted her into a limp sitting position, opening her eyes with his fingers.

Crow: They read "Out Cold."

"Her mind does not dwell in this vampires body. The flesh is quickened,
but I can not see her within it."

Mike: That doesn't make a bit of sense.

He stood suddenly and walked away.
Just as he was about to the door.

Mike: And neither does that.
Allegra: Boy, Devlin can't even make vampires right. He sucks!
Crow: I think that was the point, Allegra.

"Fargo. Clean this mess up. Make sure she isn't found."
Fargo nodded mutely. As the vampires left the empty bar, he carefully picked up the flaccid body. "I'm sorry, Sylia. But... he owns me, body and soul. I... I can't fight him. I don't even want to try anymore,"
Fargo said finally, his voice choking.

Tom: ACTING!

He carefully lifted her, one of her arms over his shoulder. He was soon driving down into an even worse section of Tokyo, leaving the bright lights of life behind.

Mike: Even WORSE? Where's he going? Hell?

Broken rock walls and shattered buildings lined the precarious road he took deeper into the canyons. His unobtrusive dark blue sedan pulled in between two shattered buildings, hiding from prying eyes. At the end of the alley lay a black chasm, one of the many remnants of the Second Kanto earthquake.
With no fanfare, he released the body, hearing it crash to the ground far below. "Goodbye." Fargo turned his back and drove off into the night. He just couldn't force himself to destroy the body. Even under the compulsion.

Crow: Of course, dropping her into a CANYON will probably have the same effect.

Sylia screamed in her mind again, desperately praying that someone could hear her. Help me! Don't leave me here, she entreated. I'm still alive!
Her mind tried to reach out to someone, anyone; striving vainly.

Allegra: click Psychic Line, can I help you?

But the night only answered her with cold indifference, a mocking laugh at her and her efforts.

All: BWAH HA HA HA HA!
Mike: Let's get out of here.
(Door sequence, the usual.)

Mike and Allegra stood around the bridge of the SOL. Mike, whose hands were shaking at the thought of becoming the vampiric equivalent of a Popsicle, tried to drink the rest of his coffee. Allegra sat on the table, filing her nails.
"Mike, don't worry about it," she reassured him. "I can go awhile without blood. And I don't have to kill you to get blood anyway. You've seen too many bad movies."
"You have no idea," Mike mumbled.
Just then, Crow and Tom ambled in. "Hello, toots," Crow said affably to Allegra.
"Ask her, Crow," Tom whispered.
"Ask me what?" Allegra replied.
"Well...we were wondering...was it like that for you, when you were made a vampire? Y'know, ectacsy and all that?"
"Hey, boys, that's a bit personal," Mike said, not really wanting to hear the gory details.
"It's an honest question, Mike," Tom insisted. "I mean, if we're going to be sharing the satellite with her, we need to know these things."
Mike shook his head. "Yeah, but that's kind of like asking if someone's parents were married when they were born or what their sex life is like. It's private."
"So?" Crow said. "I mean, we know all those things about you, Mike." He turned to Allegra. "So, babe, tell us all about it. C'mon, peer pressure! Peer pressure!"
Allegra got off the table. "It's all right, Mike. I don't mind." She knelt in front of Crow. "Well, Crow, it's hard to explain. I mean, first I was really scared. Really scared."
"Think Manos, Crow," Tom supplied helpfully.
Crow shivered. "Right. Got it."
"Then my sire grabbed my head and twisted it, like this!" She grabbed Crow by the beak and bent his head over until it nearly touched his shoulder. Crow screamed in pain. "When he bit me, I felt like I was being turned inside out, like this!" She let go of Crow's head, which sprung back into place, and took hold of both halves of his beak again, twisting in opposite directions with a screech of protesting metal. "He was so disgusted with what he had done, that he beaned me into a wall, like this!" She picked Crow up effortlessly and tossed him into the nearest bulkhead. Crow moaned in agony.
Mike dropped his coffee cup. Tom's mouth opened and closed, but no sound came out. Even Cambot shook in terror. "Clear it up any?" she said sweetly to Tom.
"Y-yes, ma'am."
Crow managed to say, "I hit...a nerve...didn't I? I...can tell."
"Hit a NERVE?" Allegra shrilled, her eyes turning red. "Why, yes, Mr. Robot, you did! Perhaps you'd like me to show you which one!"
Before Allegra could further bend Crow into new and different shapes, the lights flashed and the sirens wailed once more. "WE'VE GOT FIC SIGN!" Mike and Tom yelled and fled for the theater, grabbing Crow on the way.

(Door sequence. Crow, helpfully straightened out by Mike and the handy Robot Repair Kit (trademark, patent pending), is now sitting next to Tom, and Mike is sitting next to Allegra.)

Crow: Keep her away from me, Mike! She's crazy!
Mike: I warned you, Crow.
Allegra: Look, Crow, I'm sorry. Honestly. I just lost it for a second. That's just a really sensitive subject with me.
Tom: It really doesn't show at all. Yep, you're just well adjusted.
Crow: Tom, shut up! She'll kill me just to get to you!
Mike: Um, guys...the fic is starting...

Priss belted out one of her new songs as she gyrated her hips on stage.

Tom: Hey, it's one of those things you stick on your dashboard!

She was wearing her trademark leather skirt and halter, pale blond wig and pale face paint.

Allegra: I don't remember Priss being a Goth.

Flashing lights and her booming music filling the nightclub that she was performing in. During one of the quick pauses in between sets, a sudden chill swept over her, causing her to look around,
as if she expected an attack at any moment.

Tom: Priss IS Connor McLeod in "Highlander V: The Sex-Change!"

Reddish brown eyes swept the room, taking in all of the patrons. "What?" Priss muttered to herself.

Crow: Hey, don't look at us, lady. We don't know either.

In a corner, Leon McNichol watched his favorite singer avidly. He slammed down his drink, his eyes meeting hers for just a second.

Mike: And then he passed out from drinking too much too fast.

As she watched, he raised his mug and cheered with the rest of the audience,
jolting her back into action.

Crow: SURRGG-wait. He said jolt. My bad.

Nene slumped over desk, a pile of paper work threatening to take it over.

Tom: All your base belong to us!

She yawned hugely

Mike: Hey, look! She's still got her tonsils!

and then smiled in abrupt anticipation, as a huge ice cream Sunday appeared in front of her. Her desk partner gave her a thumbs up as she turned back to her desk after delivering Nene's favorite treat.

Allegra (Nene): The heck with my figure! Here's to gluttony!

"Thanks, Naoko!" Nene chimed. She was just about to dig in, when a sense of dread filled her. Blue-green eyes blinked nervously, looking around the office in confusion.

Tom (Any Star Wars character): I've got a bad feeling about this...
Mike: Okay, Tom, that's enough. Any more Star Wars refs and I sic Allegra on you.
(Allegra growls.)
Tom: Oop...I'll be good, Mike.
Mike: Hmm. I could get used to this.

Linna laughed as she walked along with her dinner date, a handsome young man who was dressed quite snappily. He held open the door for her, when she too felt a strange, dreadful feeling wash over her. Her dark eyes looked around, trying to see what was out of the ordinary, totally ignoring the questions being directed at her for a second.

Mike: Sadly, the question consisted of the date asking if she was going to step out of the way of the onrushing semi.

In a huff, her date closed her door and entered on his side of the car.
Linna belatedly realized that he was leaving her as his engine revved up. He pulled out and away, ignoring her as she waved for him to wait.

Allegra: Your date looks away for a moment and you leave her? Dating's harsh in MegaTokyo.
Mike: Maybe that's why the Knight Sabers are still single.

"Damn! What a jerk!" Linna yelled out. "Grrr. How am I going to find a taxi at this time of night?"

Crow: Umm...pay phone?

Mackie turned and tossed in his bed, as nightmarish images of death and suffering filled his sleep. Finally, he drifted off to a deeper sleep,
untroubled by strangeness once more.

Mike: Except for erotic dreams of his sister.

Night was burned away by the day and day was swallowed whole by the night.

Allegra: Got through that day kinda quick.
Crow: Hey, it's an episode of "Forever Knight!"

Sylia's body had lain dormant the entire day, in a crumpled heap in the snow, only a small piece of dark gray sky had been visible from the hole that she lay in.

Tom: But the magma was slowly building up inside Mount St. Sylia...

But with the night, Sylia's body awoke with a ravening hunger with no conscious control, twitching silently again.

Crow (sinister voice): Sylia was a member of the Living Dead.
Allegra: Living Dead? Isn't that an oxymoron?
Crow: Hey, bad enough you beat me up. Now you have to insult me too?
Mike: Could be worse. She could be a member of the Grateful Dead.
Tom: Aren't they Living Dead?

The first sign of consciousness was her eyes opening.

Allegra: Well, it usually is.

Sylia could have shouted in relief, if she'd been able to. A moment later, her voice gurgled in triumph.

(Everyone makes gargling noises.)

Her hands and feet started to tremble, as Sylia became aware of an overwhelming hunger. As with any bodily functions,
she pushed them to the background, until she could take charge of the situation.

Crow: Do we really need to know about Sylia's bodily functions?

Minute by minute, she relearned to use her body at an amazing speed. She crammed in the experience of growing from child to adult in less than a half an hour.

Tom: She went through puberty in about ten minutes then.
Mike: Ouch.

Still stumbling,

Crow: Rumblin', bumblin', stumblin'...

she finally managed to crawl to her feet,
looking up into the air at her possible escape. Almost seventy feet of sheer rock.

Tom: Here at KSOL, we play only SHEER ROCK!

Not in her current shape, she decided. She scanned the crevice that she had fallen into.

Allegra: I've fallen and I...no, too easy.

To her left, it fell off sharply. To her right, it curved out of sight.

Crow: And out of mind.

If she had landed just a little differently, she would have kept falling, dashing herself on rock the entire way.

Allegra: Of course, since she's already dead, it wouldn't have mattered overmuch.

Stepping carefully, keeping one hand on the wall,

Mike: All and all, just another brick in the wall.

she worked her way forward. Each step became more confident, sure of itself. Soon she came to the ruins of what looked to be some sort of underground garage. It had mostly fallen in on itself, but she thought she could see a possible pathway. She struggled until she finally heard off in the distance the sound of loud, angry music and shouting.

Servo: Must be Priss.

Creeping slowly forward, she saw lights down a passage. As quiet as a mouse, she approached the lights

Mike: Come to the light, Sylia...come to the light...

"Hey! Micha! What's taking so long? We can't start a party without entertainment!" a voice called out loudly.
"Shut your trap, Jamal. They'll be here in an hour. You can wait,"
another voice called out.

Crow (Jamal): But I have to go now!

Sylia's eyes narrowed as she came close to a doorway.

Servo: Tight close-up.

Little light reached her eyes as she looked into the room. Trash and mattresses lay on the ground, blankets thrown haphazardly here and there.

Allegra: What's she doing in my apartment?

Sylia saw one of the only two figures leave the room. She had to get out now, while the getting was good. Sylia took stock of her situation and capabilities.

Crow (Sylia): Let's see. Beaten up and sucked dry by vampire. Tossed into canyon by Fargo. Sudden hunger for a hot liquid diet. Life sucks.

No gun, but her knife on her hip slid easily into grasp. She had no illusions, that one punk would not stop her.

Servo: She had no illusions that one punk would not stop her? I'm confused...

Settling her suit coat on her body a bit,

Allegra: Sylia had gained some weight after she died.

she slid the knife into her sleeve, ready to be retrieved in a moment.
As if she didn't have a care in the world, she stepped out into the room and started to walk towards the other exit.

(Crow sings the Smurf theme song.)
Mike (shuddering): Please stop.

Jamal blinked in surprise, spitting out some of his whiskey. "What the fuck?"

Servo: Jamal doesn't know that we have secretly switched his whiskey with Folger's Crystals. Let's watch.

The clothing she was wearing looked like it had been nice at one time. It also looked as if a gang had attacked her. And then dropped her onto a very large pile of dirt.

Mike: Jamal's perceptive.
Crow: He must have read the script.

Sylia ignored him and continued walking.

Allegra: You can tell by the way I walk/I'm a woman's man, no time to talk...

"Hey! I'm talking to you. What the hell are you doing down here?" he demanded, starting to catch up to her.
Sylia didn't stop walking, but did turn to look at him.

Crow: Head turning 180 degrees.

"I am leaving. That is all."

Mike (Jamal): Oh, okay. Just checking.

"Look, bitch.

Allegra: I'd rather not.

This is the Weasel's turf. You don't just walk in here and expect to leave without talking to me, Jamal the Ruthless."

Crow: Jamal the Ruthless? Oh, man, this guy deserves what Sylia's gonna do to him.

For emphasis, he twirled open a butterfly knife expertly.

Servo: Chopping off his own fingers.

"I don't want any problems," Sylia said, showing no concern, but turning towards him, slowing as she spoke.

Mike: Wouldn't it be cool if you could actually say that and avoid problems?

"Hell, lady, you're already a problem. If you aren't careful, you're gonna be dead," Jamal said threateningly.

Allegra (The Crow...Brandon Lee, not T. Robot): And I say I'm dead...

"Why don't you sit you ass down and you're gonna tell me what you're doing here."

Mike: Does anyone really know why we are here? I think it was Hegel who said it best...
Crow: Good idea, Mike. That way Jamal will kill HIMSELF.

He leered at her as he got a better look at her. Sweet!

Servo: Where? Where?

Sylia noted the expression, realizing that further talk would be a waste

Mike: You know, for someone who's normally cool and collected, Sylia sure is quick to lose it in this fic.
Allegra: She's had a hard night, Mike.

as he built up the courage to attack her. With a negligent flip of her wrist

Crow (Bullwinkle): Nothing up my sleeve!

she snapped her blade out and cut his knife hand faster than Jamal could blink.
Jamal blinked stupidly at his bleeding wrist as his knife clattered to the ground.

Allegra: So she cut him faster than he could blink and then he blinked...I don't...hold me, Mike.
Mike: No.

"ARGH! You bitch!"
Sylia blinked as her hunger almost seemed to roar in her ears, demanding that it be sated.

Crow: Gimme some sugar, baby!

The smell of blood seemed to be intoxicating. Her body took a step forward, almost of its own violation.

Mike: Gee, I think Sylia's been violated enough without her own body doing it to her.

She clenched her jaw, feeling a tightening of new muscles above her canines. With a sickening surety, Sylia knew that she had just unsheathed her own fangs.

Servo: Flash those pearly whites!

Jamal roared as he charged her, swinging his good fist at her, trying to knock her out quickly.

Crow: He gets extra points for that.

Sylia stepped past the punch, jamming the knife into his chest right next to his sternum.

Allegra: The layman calls it the heart.

The smell of blood assailed her. This was what her body was craving, she realized. Not surprising, but still unnerving, all the same.
The thug's expression changed to horrified surprise ever so slowly, as he realized the mortal wound he had just taken.

Servo: Argh! I am slain!

Sylia coldly and analytically went over what little information she knew of vampires. The only thing that she could safely say that she knew for sure of them, was that they needed blood to feed, to survive, and that they had fangs.

Allegra: Hee hee. I can't wait until she has to cross running water or use garlic.

And survive she would. From a little girl that had plotted her revenge against Genom when she was twelve, to the young woman who had sworn to protect her father's technology from abuse, to the mercenary who led the Knight Sabers, one thing had been constant.

Crow: Youmex and Kenichi Sonoda raked it in.

Sylia was a survivor who succeeded.

Servo: Because nobody, repeat nobody, voted Sylia off the island.

In that one moment of Jamal's realization of his death, these thoughts flashed through her mind. With shockingly little remorse, she pushed the knife deeper,

Mike (Sylia): I hadn't realized murder is so much fun!

while suddenly biting into his throat, her other arm curling around him as she sucked greedily at his lifeblood. The salty liquid tasted like the nectar of life to her, unlocking some nameless recess in her mind.

Crow: The recess, which shall remain nameless to protect its loved ones...

Jamal struggled for a moment, until he blacked out from shock and blood loss.

Allegra (John Cleese): Just a flesh wound!

A minute later, Sylia let his cooling body slump to the ground.
For one long moment, she stared at him, the second human to die by her hands.

Servo: Wonder if he'll come back as a SuperBoomer?

She stripped her suit jacket off,

Crow: Sayyy...ah, crap.

using it to clean her lips off. She dropped the cloth off on top of the corpse. She hurriedly dowsed him in the potent liquor that he had been drinking.

Mike: I don't know, officer. He was drinking and he fell on his own knife, three times...

Slipping into his leather jacket, she lit him on fire with a cigarette lighter.

Crow and Servo (Beavis and Butthead): FIRE! FIRE!
Allegra: Considering that most vampires fear fire...

She hid in the shadows near the entry for a moment.

Crow: Roll vs. hide in shadows.

The other gang member trotted in, a gun in his hand, obviously expecting trouble, her patience rewarded by waiting for him to appear.

Mike (other gang member): Holy cow! Jamal exploded!
Allegra: That'll teach him to mix beans and whiskey!

As he tried to deal with the blazing body, she disappeared the way he had entered, seeking an exit.
Minutes later, she was on the deserted streets of the Canyons. In

Crow: Arizona.

seconds, she was knew where she was and was walking purposefully towards the nearest location where she could call a taxi.

Allegra (Sylia): Now for a nightcap!

Servo: Oh, so she took Amtrak home.
Crow: She's already dead, so nothing to worry about there.

Sylia watched as the robotic taxi drove off, turning back to walk into the back entrance of her store.

Allegra: Back to the...well, back.

Her keys let her in to the business receiving area. She tapped in her key code to unlock the penthouse elevator, putting her hand up against the sensor plate.
"Error," a cheerful voice chirped.

Servo (Nomad): ER-ROR! ANA-LYZE! ER-ROR!

Sylia stared in surprise at the small screen. Invalid biological reading? She typed in a much longer pass code.

Allegra (Sylia): Open...this door...or die...horribly...

Her hands danced along merrily.

Crow: But her feet were sad and blue.
Mike: Actually, that would be her face.

In moments, she had the reason for the error.

Servo: Yep, the security system used Windows.

Her palm had been too cold, the hand of a dead corpse. Her security had been set up in place to make it so that even in death, none of the Knight Sabers could betray her.

Allegra: Eww! Like someone would cut off Priss or Linna's hand!
Crow: I thought you said you had seen anime, Allegra.

Nodding to herself grimly,

Mike (Sylia): Guess I'd better kill all the Knight Sabers, then...

she opened the elevator. When she had stepped out upstairs, she headed for her room.

Allegra: It was only then that Sylia realized that she had not reopened the elevator doors when she reached her floor. Or that she hadn't used the elevator.

Mackie was startled by the sound of his sister's door closing down the hall.

Crow (Mackie): Oh, crap! Gotta hide the porn...
Mike: Crow...
Crow: What? This is Mackie!

He jumped to his feet, ignoring the metal components of the small engine as they fell to the ground.

Servo: He noticed a second later when they fell on his feet.

He was down to her door as quickly as humanly possible.

Mike: Away to her door he flew like a flash...
Allegra: ...slipped on a beer can and busted his ass.
Crow: ALLEGRA! Man, been waiting for years to do that to someone...

Without even knocking, he walked in, calling out,
"Sylia! Where have you been?"
Mackie stopped, as he realized that Sylia was in the process of disrobing.

Servo: As if that ever stopped him before.

She was down to bra and panties, holding her shirt to her chest. Sylia looked over her shoulder at Mackie. "Mackie, what have I said about knocking before entering?"

Mike (Mackie): The same thing about not spying on Linna or Nene when they're changing, why?

she chided lightly. "I'll be out in a minute. I need to clean up."
Mackie nodded, stumbling back out to let her clean up.

Crow: We established that.

He slumped up against the door after he closed it. He'd been so worried, but everything was fine.

(Everyone snickers evilly.)

"So, what happened? You usually tell someone when you disappear."

Mike (Mackie): Of course, it's usually Uncle Yoshi in Osaka, but still...

Mackie was flopped on the couch, vaguely listening to the news. He noted in the back of his mind that Sylia was even paler than normal. She really did need to get more sun.

Allegra: That should be fun to watch.

Sylia sat herself down and turned towards Mackie. She had a bathrobe on and a towel wrapped around her head. "I was attacked, but I managed to escape."

Servo: In a manner of speaking...

Mackie looked shocked. "Attacked? Who? Was it Genom again?" He suddenly realized that his fist was clenched.
"No, it wasn't Genom. It was...

Crow: Penguins armed with rocket launchers. But that's not important right now.

something else. Something that I had not been aware of." Sylia drummed her fingers on the chair's arm.

Servo: Boom Boom BOOM! Boom Boom BOOM!
All: We will/We will/ROCK YOU!

"So let's get the Knight Sabers over here and deal with the situation!"
Mackie exclaimed.

Mike (Sylia): It was a stray dog, Mackie...
Crow (Mackie): So?

"No." Sylia speared him with a glance. "The Knight Sabers are not a tool of retribution. That is not why I created them."

Servo: Uhm...well, actually...
Allegra: You're kidding.
Crow: Fooled us.

Mackie gulped. Sylia sounded serious!

Mike: This is new?

"But what about Mason?"

Crow: And Dixon?
Tom: And where do you draw the line?

"Mason was an obvious threat to our organization. He was in the process of preparing to destroy us." Since when had the fans become so loud? And what was that disturbing beating sound?

Allegra: Sylia instantly smashed a spider into goo for walking too loudly up the wall.
Mike: Wow, it's like a hangover, but worse!

"That isn't how I heard it!" Mackie exclaimed.

Servo: Deafening Sylia.

"Priss was lucky in that I was preparing to deal with Mason and that I felt it important enough to keep the Knight Sabers together to back her up."

Crow: Liar, liar, pants on fire...

Sylia pursed her lips angrily. Well, at least as angrily as she would normally show.
"So you're just going to ignore them?" Mackie asked.

Mike: Eventually, they'll go away.

"No, I am not going to ignore them. But I'm not going to run in unprepared, either. This new foe could prove to be quite as deadly as Genom."

Allegra: Genom is a world-dominating megacorporation with robot assassins at its beck and call. Vampire-boy has three thugs and can't even make other vampires right. I call no way.

Sylia stood up and walked over to the window, staring out into the dark night.

Servo: (Sylia) Criminals are a superstitious and cowardly lot...

"Are you all right, Sylia?" Mackie asked, unnerved by her behavior. He stood up and put his hand on her shoulder.
"No, I am not all right." Sylia paused for just a moment.

Allegra: Having ripped Mackie's hand off.

"Please, don't touch me. Not right now."
Mackie pulled his hand back. "Ah, sorry."

Crow: About time. Mackie having a thing for his sister is just icky.

Sylia stared into the night, without really seeing anything.

Mike (Sylia): Zzzz...

"Mackie, I may need to... have you put off you going to college for a year."

Allegra: (Sylia) Tuition's too friggin' high!

She glanced at him in the reflection of the glass. "At least not off to Germany like you planned."

Mike (Sylia): I was actually thinking Harvard or MIT...
Crow: (Mackie): Those dumps?

"But Sylia!" Mackie exclaimed.

Crow (Mackie): I already had my frat initiation!

Sylia bowed her head, closing her eyes so that she wouldn't have to see his agitation.

Allegra (Sylia): You're beginning to irritate me, Mackie. You wouldn't like me irritated.

"If... if I could do this without you, Mackie, I would.

Servo (Sylia): But since you're the only damn mechanic we have...

But I really... need your help right now. I need you to take over the day to day operation of the Silky Doll, while I prepare to deal with this new threat."

Mike: Isn't letting an oversexed fifteen year old run a lingerie shop like giving a loaded gun to a psychopath?

Mackie opened his mouth, but stopped himself before continuing to argue.
Sylia almost never admitted needing help. Ever. She must really be serious.

Crow: -ly nuts.

Mackie shivered unconsciously. Genom controlled many aspects of multiple governments, was wealthy beyond imagination and could test military grade weapons in a major metropolis with impunity.

Servo: But it does make living in MegaTokyo interesting!

Sylia was worried enough that she didn't even want him to know their identity.
"I guess I could look at going to a local university," Mackie replied.

Crow (Mackie): Or slicing my wrists open, or something.

He schooled his face to hide his disappointment. Family was more important than college.

Allegra: Cheaper, anyway.

"Thank you, Mackie." Sylia looked out into the darkness, trying to fathom just how little she really knew.
Far too little, she decided.

Mike: Dahhh...

She would have to arrange to have Mackie and all of the Knight Sabers flown somewhere if she were captured or discovered.

Servo: Yeah, like that'll do some good with Priss "Shoot First, Ask Questions At Some Point" Asagiri.

She didn't want them dragged down into this new hell of hers.

Crow: New and improved Hell! Now with more demons and torture chambers!

Allegra: Great. The fic just flatlined.

State of the art armored doors swished open, allowing Sylia access to her laboratory and manufacturing shop.

Servo: To the Batcave, Robin! Let's go!

A quick glance revealed that nothing had been moved since she had last been down here. In moments she had several sensors attached to herself after disrobing.

Allegra: Hey, whoa now, Sylia.
Crow: Damn. Never thought Sylia was into the kinky stuff!

Without any fanfare, she lay down on a thin slab of metal that stuck out of the wall.

Mike: Guess again, pal. Fanboys all over the web are breaking open the champagne because of this scene.

Sylia quickly tapped some keys on the bench. A round opening irised open

Servo: Ssh!

and slowly slid the bench in. Brilliant lights swirled and danced, going over every square inch of her body.

Crow: Every square, supple, beautifully curved inch, from her raven hair to her firm, firm...
Mike: CROW!
Crow: Wha-oh. Thanks, Mike. Lost it there.
Mike: No problem, buddy.

Minutes later, she was released as the bench slid out into the room.

Servo: Ssh!

She slowly sat up, her mind in agony, as always when she used the EMR scanner.

Crow: Then don't use it!
Allegra: That's what she gets from buying equipment from Dr. Mindbender.
Mike: Just a little obscure there, Allegra. No one's going to know that.
Allegra: Nonsense. Knowing's half the battle.

In careful steps, she slid off and put on her fluffy bathrobe.
She collapsed into her chair, waiting patiently for the computer to process the readings as she recovered.

Servo: Abort, Retry, Fail?

Ten minutes later, she had the unsurprising data. According to it, she was dead.

Allegra (Sylia): Ha ha ha...that computer, what a joke-wait a minute!

No heartbeat, no appreciable living body temperature. She was also a bit lighter, which was because she had almost no body fat. No food in her stomach. Her intestines looked atrophied already.

Mike: Don't let the supermodels find out about this diet!

Some things were surprising. Some sort of tissue had grown around her brain.

Crow: Bone?

No respiration was occurring at all. It made no sense. Where was the energy coming from to move around?

Allegra: It's a kind of magic/It's a kind of magic...

She continued to ponder

Servo (Brain): Are you pondering what I'm pondering, Pinky?
Crow (Pinky): I think so, Brain. Why is there air?

the information for the few hours left of the night, lost in thought as she went over the specifics of the data. Sylia felt a sudden lethargy seep into her bones.

Mike: Well, studying does do that to you.
Crow: Speaking from experience, Mike?

She looked around in a panic, expecting to see Devlin or one of his group. Nothing greeted her gaze.

Servo: Except a mouse which screamed in terror.

With fingers that felt as if they were mired in setting epoxy,

Mike: It IS like a hangover!

she turned on several camera views around the building.

Servo: Cool! She has a Cambot too!

Nothing unusual met her eyes, until a camera on the roof showed her the brightening orange of the Sun peeking above the buildings to the east. Fear arose in her breast.

Crow: Funny, I thought she had two.

Sunrise! Of course. Vampires are creatures of the night, they can not exist during the day, so they... sleep?

Allegra: Bingo!

Hibernate?

Allegra: Only if you're a very lazy vampire.

She had lost track of time. Would she be safe here?

Mike: Geez, don't ask us. We just work here.

Sylia forced her flagging body to rise, staggering over to the door.
Fingers tapped at buttons unsteadily, typing in a long and complex code,

Crow: CLOSE...DOOR...

shutting herself off from the outside world.

Allegra: They have therapy for that, Sylia.

As her body collapsed, she determined to herself that she was going to bring a pillow and blankets down here in the future.

Mike: Not a bad idea, now that you mention it. Let's go, guys.
Allegra: Ahem.
Mike: And girl.
(Door sequence...you know this, don't you?)

Mike walked onto the bridge. Crow was vigorously chewing something, watched intently by Servo. "What's up, guys?" Mike asked. "You into the RAMchips again?"
"Mmph!" Crow replied.
"Huh?"
"Oh, hi, Mike," Servo said. "We're trying out an experiment. See, we can't have Allegra throwing us around if we say the wrong thing, so we're going to fix her. Crow's chewing up a mixture we whipped up, and it's a doozy!"
"So what is it?" Mike asked, afraid to find out. He was temporarily spared that, as Allegra walked in, scratching her head. "Mike," she began, "you really need to have a talk with Gypsy. I think this Richard Baseheart fetish is a serious problem..."
"Hey, Allegra," Servo interrupted. "Crow wants to tell you something, don't you, Crow?" Crow vigorously nodded.
"Oh, don't worry about that little incident earlier," Allegra smiled. "It's no big deal."
"Hhhiii, Allegra!" Crow breathed (well, opened his beak, since he didn't breathe) on Allegra.
"AAAA!" Allegra screamed in pain, and fled from the bridge.
"Hey! It does work!" Servo said.
"Just what did you mix up?" Mike asked again.
Crow turned to Mike. "Oh, just a bit of garlic...and Hunan sauce, and Flaming Napalm taco seasoning, and..."
Mike got a whiff. "AAAA!" he screamed, and also fled.
"What's his problem?" Crow asked, turning to Servo. "Gee, Tom, do you think Mike is...hey, did you notice that your dome is steaming up?"
"Yes, and..." Suddenly smoke began rising from Servo's dome. "AAAA! I'M ON FIRE! I'M ON FIRE!" Servo, trailing flame, hovered off the bridge as fast as he could, screaming for help.
"Hmm..." Crow mused. "I've run off everybody. Cool!" He too began to head off the bridge, not noticing the scorch marks he left on it. "Hey, Gyps! You gotta..." Just then the sirens went off and the lights began flashing. "WE'VE GOT FANFIC SIGGGNNN!" Crow yelled.
Mike came running onto the bridge with an extinguisher. "WE'RE ON FIRE! THE SATELLITE IS ON FIRE!"

(Door sequence, this time with a considerable amount of smoke. Tom and Mike are in their usual seats, with Allegra sitting next to Mike. Crow sits two seats down from Allegra, beak dripping foam.)

Allegra: Crow, you just stay over there, 'kay?
Crow: Hah! You're scared of me now, aren't you, Allegra? Huh? Can't lay a finger on me with my vampire-repellent on!
Mike: Crow, nobody can even get within five feet of you with your vampire-repellent on.
Crow: This would be really neat if I didn't keep setting things on fire.

"What do you mean, she's fine? Why isn't she here to tell us herself?"
Priss demanded.

Mike (Mackie): She's, uh...she's on a date!
Allegra (Priss): Holy crap, there IS something wrong with her!

Nene nodded her agreement. She was sitting stiffly, still in her uniform

Crow: Nene had used too much starch again.

as she had to go to work in an hour or so.
Mackie shrugged helplessly. "I don't know what's going on. She showed up last night, out of the blue and acting all weird."

Mike (Mackie): I mean, she went downstairs and took off all her clothes, and...oops.

Linna looked up from where she had been reading a magazine on the couch.

Servo (Linna): Guys, check it out! There's a sale on the Ginza!

"What do you mean? Sylia's always been a bit, well, different. Reserved,
if you know what I mean."

All: Nutball!

"Ah, well she mentioned that she'd been attacked. She thinks it might be something almost as bad as Genom." He held up his hands to forestall any questions.

Mike (White House press secretary): Please, no photographs.

"Don't ask. She didn't tell me who or what. I think she's trying to protect me or something."
Nene blinked and her expression changed to show a bit of fear. "A-
anything else?"

Crow (Mackie): Other than asking me what blood type all of you were and calling me Renfield, no, nothing much.

Mackie replied without thinking, "Not much, except for asking me to put of going to college in Germany to help her out here."
Linna and Priss exchanged a worried glance. Sylia asked someone to help her out?

Servo: Satan reported that it was pretty well frozen over, all right.

"Germany?" Nene burst out in surprise. "When were you going to go to Germany?" Her face couldn't help to show how betrayed she felt over that bit of information.

Allegra (Nene): Those damn Krauts never learn!

Mackie looked like he'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

Crow: Busted!

"Ah, I was, uh, going to college there in a couple of weeks."
Nene stared at him as she cogitated on that information.

Allegra: As she what?
Servo: Oh, now he's just making words up!

"A-and you weren't going to tell me?"
"Er, no. Uh, maybe! Wait, of course I was!

Crow: Think fast, Mackie, think fast!

Well, I wasn't sure how to tell you. I didn't think you'd understand," Mackie replied hurriedly,
looking uncomfortable and panicked.

Mike (Mackie): Now put down that knife, Nene...

Priss slammed her hand down on the table.

Servo: It shattered.
Mike: Her hand or the table?
Allegra: Considering that Priss should be a mass of scar tissue after all those crashes, I'd say the table.

"Look, that isn't important right now! Sylia needs us! You can have your lover's quarrel later!" She glared at each of them in turn. "The important thing is to find her!"
"I'm right here," Sylia said, walking into her living room at that moment.

Allegra (Priss): Well, that was easy! What's next?

She was still clad in her fluffy bathrobe from last night,

Crow: Though it was on backwards.

looking slightly disheveled.

Servo (Sylia): What a night! Er, day!

"Uh, Sylia! Er, how much did you hear?" Priss asked abashedly.

Allegra: Priss? Since when?

"Considering that you were shouting loud enough to wake the dead, quite a bit," Sylia said wryly. At least some of her sense of humor had survived, she noted.

Mike: Not a whole hell of a lot, granted, but some.

"Thank you for all coming over. There are some changes that we need to go over."

Allegra (Sylia): First of all, you'll now address me as Dark Mistress Sylia!

"What's going on, Sylia?" Linna asked pointedly.

Servo: Holding the stake.

"I'm not sure at this time. I need more information. One thing that all of you need to be aware of is that Fargo has been compromised. I am not sure how much he knows, but if you see him, I want you to leave immediately and tell me."

Mike: And if you or any of your team are caught, the secretary will disavow all knowledge of you or your operations.

All of them nodded in response.

All (dully): Yes, Mistress Sylia...

Sylia continued, "I don't think he knows any of you, so you should be fine.

Allegra (Sylia): Of course, since you don't know him either, maybe you'd better just run away from everybody.

However, he could be in the company of some very unfriendly people."

Mike: And sometimes those insurance salesmen just don't take no for an answer.

"So what other changes are going to be happening?" Priss asked.

Allegra (Sylia): First, we'll be attaching high heels to our hardsuits. Oh, yeah. Already did that.

"We are going to be making some changes in how the Knight Sabers are run."

Crow (Sylia): I'm the boss, GOT IT? Now snap to attention for your mistress!

Sylia turned to look at Priss. "I am going to be giving you more access and control in the running of the Knight Sabers.

Mike: Like giving a kamikaze a Zero fighter.

Mackie will be helping out with the Silky Doll and some daily business dealings."

Servo: Even though he's in the middle of puberty and not even legally an adult.

"What will you be doing, Sylia?" Nene asked worriedly.

Crow (Sylia): Kicking back and getting drunk, why?

"I am going to be busy reworking the hardsuits and some changes to internal security," Sylia lied easily, her face calm and passive. "So don't be surprised if you don't see me around as much."
"Oh! Cool! Are you going to be able to add some better weapons to my suit?" Nene asked excitedly.

Allegra (Sylia): Why? It's not like you ever use them, Miss Run-Away-Screaming!

Sylia smiled, slightly amused. If only Nene could get her self confidence up,

Servo: She would actually HIT a target every now and then.

she would see that she does just fine. "We'll see. I have some ideas. I don't think I'll have time for some of the more esoteric devices, unfortunately."

Mike (Sylia): So you can just forget about the fuzzy dice and air conditioning!

"Crud. I was wanting to be able to help more in combat." Nene pouted.

Crow: Nene's in character.

"If you'd quit being a wimp you'd do a lot better," Priss pointed out snidely.

Servo: Twirling her mustache.

"And lose some weight," Linna pointed out helpfully.

Allegra (Linna): It's not like we want to hurt your self-image, fatso.

"You guys!" Nene looked on the verge of crying.
"Hey, quit it! Nene does a lot for the team!" Mackie spoke up hotly.

Servo: And that would be...
Mike: Well, she can pick up eighty-three channels on that communications setup she has on her back.

Nene jumped to her feet, her blue eyes almost flashing angrily. "I don't need you to defend me, Mackie! I can do fine all by myself!" With that

Allegra: Nene grabbed a gun and started shooting.
Crow: Hey, she's as dark as you, Tommy!
Servo: Yeah, Allegra! Quit horning in on my act!

she turned and stalked off.
Mackie just stood there for a second, pushed back into action by the slamming of the door as she left. "Nene!" Mackie called out.

Allegra: John!
Mike: Marsha!

He was interrupted from following by Sylia's hand gripping his arm.

Servo: Tearing it off at the shoulder.

"Mackie, I think she needs to calm down right now. Why don't you... try to make up to her tomorrow. Take her out to dinner or for a treat."

Mike (Mackie as Watto): Quit waving your hands around! You think you're a Jedi or something?

"But..." Mackie looked torn. "I guess so." His shoulders slumped.
Sylia turned back to Priss and Linna.

Allegra (Sylia): What the HELL are you looking at?

"Priss, I will see you tomorrow about seven o'clock. Thank you both for showing up tonight." Sylia turned and walked out of the room, heading for her private rooms.

Crow: To do her private things.

Priss frowned and looked a Linna and Mackie.

Servo: There's more than one Linna?

Linna just shrugged. That had been oddly curt, even for Sylia.

Mike: I don't know. This is Sylia Stingray we're talking about.

Mackie just looked off in to infinity, his thoughts miles away,

Crow: Wow, not much to infinity, is there? Just a couple of miles.

worried about a certain red-head.

Mike: I know what he's going through. I worry about Nicole Kidman too.

Leon whistled as he walked towards the dispatch office.

Crow (Leon): Hi ho, hi ho, to be a dork I go...

He'd chat with Naoko about this little problem with prioritization during combat situations.

Servo: Oh, so THAT'S why he keeps getting his ass kicked in...his priorities weren't straight.
All: Ahh...

Then he'd bounce it off Nene

Allegra: Hey, hey, none of that, now.

when she showed up in about a half an hour, late as usual. He didn't know how she kept her job, other than she seemed to be an absolute wiz on the phones and at directing the TAC squads to track down rogue boomers.

Servo: And disappearing at odd times...
Crow: Three words, buddy: screwing with files.

Leon was suddenly twisted as a shorter person pushed by him in a rush,
her shoulder catching his tricep painfully.

Mike (Leon): Friggin' elves!

"Hey, you! Watch where you're going!" he barked out immediately without thinking.

All: Bark! Arf!

The doors slid open as Nene stopped almost mid stride. Nene whirled on him, "Shove it Leon! I am not in the mood to deal with you right now!"

(Everybody leaps to their feet and cheers.)
Allegra: All right, Nene! You go, girl!
Crow: Hell, that's the best line I've ever seen in a BGC fic!

She stomped over to her desk and slammed into her chair.

Crow (Nene): Ow! Stupid old chair!

She was only sitting for a bare second before she stood up and stomped off to the bathroom.

Servo (Nene): Time to show that toilet who's boss!
Mike: Tom...

During the entire time, everyone who wasn't on the phones (and a few who were) watched her stalk off as if she had grown two extra heads and was breathing fire.

Allegra: Possible. This is anime we're talking about. I mean, it happens all the time in "Legend of the Overfiend."
Mike: Don't mention that again.
Allegra: It's true-
Mike: Just don't.

Leon slid his sunglasses down his nose, looking at Nene blankly.

Servo: Well, nothing new here.

"Uh, maybe I'll come back later." What had brought that on?

Mike: PMS? Morning traffic? Bad milk? How the hell would we know?

Naoko nodded wildly. As if Leon's voice were a cue, everyone in the office suddenly jumped back into their jobs.

Crow: A first!

Allegra: Ooh! A fishy!

Sylia weaved in and out of the crowd in the club.

Servo (Sylia): I don' think I shoulda ha' tha' lass beeerrr...

This was the third club that she had visited this evening. And this was only one night out of a long week of nights.

Crow (Sylia): Sweet, sweet booze. You're the only one who understands.

A quick bit of checking around had garnered which clubs opened late and stayed open until nearly dawn. She figured if there was anywhere vampires could be found, it had to be something that was open all night.

Mike: Vampires hang out at Seven-Elevens?
Allegra: Just young, unemployed ones.

If clubs didn't work, she was going to start checking bars and all night movie theaters.

Crow: You could also try the Internet. All kinds of freaks hang out there.

The only problem was, she wasn't sure what to look for other than pale people with fangs.

Allegra (sulkily): Yes, we all look like that all the time. After all, wouldn't want people to know what we are, would we?
Mike: You should really just relax.

She sighed as she put up with the itchy, long black wig and overly tight, black pants and hot pink tank top.

Crow: Sylia's steppin' out!
Servo: I like it.

She hadn't had the opportunity to go 'clubbing' in forever. It was a bit disturbing first. But after several days, it was just laborious.

Mike: Gotta make the donuts...

A new man moved in front of her, looking to start dancing to the next song. He was wearing a white ruffled shirt and tight black pants.

Servo: It's a vampire! Kill him!

Knee boots finished off the outfit, which accented his darker, Mediterranean heritage.

Allegra: Can't be a vampire. He isn't pale.

"Hey ya! Been in the city long?" he yelled to her.

All: WHAT?

Sylia put a smile on her face. Stick to the truth as much as possible.
"I was born here," she yelled back.

All: WHAT?

Sylia felt a tendril seep across her consciousness,

Allegra: Hey, whoa, I was just kidding about the Overfiend bit.

inviting her to trust him, like him.

Crow: So she kicked him in the crotch.

"Really? How long have been a part of the night crowd?" he asked, still smiling, fangs just barely peeking out through his lips.

Allegra: Geez, just wear a sign around your neck, pal.

Sylia let her smile drop.

Mike: It smashed on the floor.

They had found her?

Crow (Bugs Bunny): Mmm...could be!

"Not long." She had contingency plans in place this time. She was not going to be caught off guard.

Servo: Yeah, well, Custer had a plan, too.

"Hey! How about I introduce you around?" he asked, starting to dance under the strobing lights.
"I don't know," Sylia answered truthfully. "I'm a little... nervous."

Allegra (Sylia): It's my first time.
Mike: Allegra, we've set Crow up on a ten-step program to hentai recovery, and you're not helping.

"Don't you fret you're head, chica! You'll be under my protection for tonight."

Mike: I bet Sylia's just overflowing with reassurance.

They danced for a minute or so. He continued, "My names Anton!"
"Sylvie!" Sylia responded.

Servo (Anton): Sylvie? Aren't you dead?
Allegra (Sylia): Of course, moron!

The song finally finished up.

Crow: Thank sweet heaven...

"Follow me, Sylvie. I promise that you won't be attacked for at least this night."

Allegra: Gentlemen, place your bets!
Crow: Ten RAMchips says she gets pounded again.
Servo: I'll see that and raise you five!

Sylia nodded slowly, walking behind him. Anton walked on unconcerned, a casual grace evident in each step. He walked to the back of the club,
where a sign proclaimed that the area they were entering was for 'The Parapet - Private Club, Members only'.

Mike: Another read, "No, Really!"

Anton waved aside two large men who were wearing security jackets. They nodded to both of them as they stepped through. Sylia blinked as her eyes adjusted to the dimness of the club. Softer music, almost classical drifted across the room.

(Everyone begins humming "The Blue Danube Waltz." Badly.)

Faded and peeling paint did not give the room a fun atmosphere.

Allegra: Guess I've been to the wrong clubs.

Two men in a corner argued quietly, one of them was wearing an expensive suit.
About four people watched them as they continued on with their discussion.

Crow (man, whispering): Your karate is pig-dung.
Tom (man, whispering): You will die. Hi-keeba.

Sylia was struck by how normal or drab all of them were, except for the man in the suit. None of them would ever stick out much in any crowd.

Allegra: Well, duh. What did you expect, Count Dracula?
Mike: No, but that would've been kind of cool.

Anton gestured over to a drab pool table and some chairs that were lying around. "We can wait over here."

Servo: With the other garbage.

Sylia kept her eyes half on the group in the corner.

Allegra: And the other half on Anton. Rrrowr!

Anton looked on,
his face a mask of indifference.

Mike: Same old, same old...

The minutes passed slowly,

All: Zzzz...

until some sort of agreement was reached. The man in the suit glanced around as he walked off, barely giving Sylia a glance.

Servo (man in suit): Here, riffraff. Have a glance.
Allegra (Sylia): Oh, thank you sir! May I have another?

The rest of them walked over to her and Anton. "So, Anton, any luck?"

Crow (Anton): Hell yeah, man! Check her out!

The leader of the new group asked warily. His hair was so blond as to be almost white, cut fairly short and neat. Two men and one woman followed him, while the last went into a different room.

Allegra: Two were there, two were killed, two walked away.

Anton shrugged. "She's not violent and she came along peacefully. I decided to wait for the rest of the posse before getting more information."

Mike (John Wayne voice): And when the rest of the posse gets here, missy, you're in deep trouble, wa-ha.

He stood up, gesturing grandly. "Posse, meet Sylvie. Sylvie, this is James, Jito, Sayuri and Rumio."

Mike (standing up, also gesturing grandly): Pleased to meet you. I'm Mike, this is Tom, Allegra, and Crow.
Crow: Yo.
Allegra: Salutations.
Servo: Komban wa.

Sylia nodded. "I'm not sure why you brought me back here."
"Oh, that's simple.

Servo: We're going to beat you with a lead pipe. Initiation, you know, that sort of thing.

We want to know who sent you and what you want," the leader responded, he was the one pointed out by James with the blond hair.

Crow: And ve have vays of makink you talk.

Sylia blinked. "No one sent me.

Mike: Walt sent me.

And... I'm not sure what I want. I'm a little lost."

Crow: Join the crowd, sister.

"Not sure? Who and what are you, Sylvie?" James asked intently.

Servo (Sylia): I'm Batman.

Sylia felt something crawling around for purchase on her mind,

Allegra: Eww.

but it washed over her soundlessly to no effect. "My name is Sylvie Axari. And I'm not sure exactly about anything else," Sylia said, shrugging her shoulders to show that she didn't know.

Mike: In case someone was too dense to notice.

James blinked once. "Oh? Who created you? How old are you?"

Crow: What's your name? What's your quest? What's your favorite color?

Odd, she didn't respond automatically and woodenly. She reacted like he hadn't been able to control her. That could be bad. That would mean she was more powerful than him!

Allegra: Bit late to think of that now, Einstein!

"I... I'd rather not say. I'm afraid he might try to take me or kill me." Sylia looked puzzled. "Why do you want to know how old I am?"

Mike: Census Bureau. It's my job.

His eyes seemed to bore into her soul.

Servo: Or just bore.

"Answer my questions."
Sylia frowned at him as she had that crawling feeling across her mind again. "Quit that. It won't work."
Anton blinked. "Really? Why not?" he asked conversationally. His eyes seemed to be riveted to her.

Allegra (Sylia): 'Cause the author says so.
Crow (Anton): Damn.

Sylia turned her head slightly to look at the other man. "I don't know.
I feel something but it can't force me to do anything."

Allegra (Sylia): But that flamethrower over there might be a pretty good persuader.

Anton whistled, slightly stunned by that revelation. "You can feel his mind trying to control yours?"

Mike (Sylia): Yes, and it's not much, I can tell you.

Sylia stared at him a second and then nodded. "It's like the one that...
made me. He couldn't control my mind either.

Allegra (Sylia): I is perfect!

That was when he drained me dry and... made me a vampire, I guess."

Servo: Gee, you think?

James nodded, as if to himself. "Who?"

Crow: Third base!

"How do I know you won't turn me over to him?" Sylia countered calmly,
looking straight in his eyes.

Allegra (James): You don't.

"You don't." James eyes showed no emotion in return.

(Everyone looks at Allegra.)
Allegra: What?

They almost seemed to glint in the darkness.
"Anton guaranteed my safety for tonight," Sylia informed him primly.
Moments passed and then James smiled, his face suddenly alive and sunny.

Mike: If that's the case, shouldn't they be bursting into flame?

He looked over at Anton. "Bad Anton!"

Crow: No treats for you tonight!

He waggled his finger at him.
Anton just shrugged back. "Now, as Anton is a good friend of mine, I'll agree that for tonight, here, you're safe. I won't promise anything after you leave."

Servo: "If you leave/I won't cry/I won't waste a single tear..."

Sylia's eyes flickered to the other vampires. "And them?"

Mike: Oh, don't mind them. They're just flavor text.

"They'll follow me or they get to go through me!" James said forcefully,
pinning each of his group with his piercing stare.

Crow: So they went through him.

They all nodded in response. Rumio nodded last, eyeing Sylia curiously.

Mike (Rumio): She is so hot!

Sylia stared directly at James. James met her gaze, a thoughtful expression on his face.

Servo: Another first.

"He said his name was Devlin McQueen," Sylia said finally.

All (dully): Of the Clan McQueen, born on the shores of Loch Shiel in the year of our Lord 1589...

James narrowed his eyes. "Hmm."

Crow (James): Must squint...look interested...

All of the other vampires shuffled their feet nervously.
They both watched each other for some hidden clue, some fragment of meaning that would give them that important tidbit. James finally replied, "He has a reputation for a certain...

Servo: Shiny happiness?

ruthlessness.

Servo: Guess not.

You could say that he's even a bit infamous, here in Tokyo."
Sylia looked at him intently. "Really?" Sylia said dryly, a hard edge of sarcasm evident in her voice.

Allegra (Sylia): I mean, this is the same place where Godzilla shows up, you know.

James smiled thinly. "Rumor has it that he had a good line on some military hardware, but his contact didn't work out. You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?"

Servo (Sylia): Look at the way I'm dressed, fool! What do you think?

"Maybe." Could they know who she really was? Was Devlin that big of a 'noise' in this vampire community?

Crow: Will Sylia escape the nefarious trap? Will Nene get a life? Find out in our next thrilling episode!
Mike: Nice try, Crow. Sit down.
Crow: Poopy.

Anton snickered appreciatively. At least she wasn't stupid. "So how long have you been embraced, Sylvie?"

Allegra (Sylia): Ten thousand years, why?

Sylia's eyes flickered toward the Mediterranean dandy. Embraced? That was probably being made a vampire, she guessed. "A week."

Servo: "It's been/One week since you looked at me/Dropped your arms and said I'm sorry..."

"And you managed to survive all by yourself?" James said to himself,
almost under his breath as he leaned forward in his chair. "You're one tough lady. So, have you killed yet?"

Allegra: Well, that's a bit impolite.

His eyes seemed to be looking for something.

Mike (James): Now where did my cigarettes go?

"Yes. I was attacked and I... fed. He would have died anyways."

Crow: In about sixty years, sure.

Anton narrowed his eyes. "So, you feel no remorse?"

Allegra (Sylia): No...I mean yes! Oh, the horror! The horror!

Sylia shrugged. "He was going to do worse to me, I'm sure. I had to do it to survive." Her voice betrayed none of the anguish she felt.
Rumio looked up suddenly, her eyes riveted to the doorway that the suited gentleman had left through.

Mike: That's gross!

The door opened, admitting three new people.

Servo: Let's greet our contestants!

Sylia's eyes met Devlin's from across the room, challenging him by her mere presence.

Crow (Val Klimer in "Tombstone"): Ah'm yer huckleberry.

Devlin unzipped his leather jacket casually. "My, my! I'd thought you had been destroyed. Fargo had said he had taken care of that little mess, Sylia dear."

Allegra (Sylia): I'm like a bad penny. What can I say?

Even as Devlin entered and started to walk towards her, Sylia had jumped to her feet and raced to the other door.

Crow: Run away! Run away!

Her padded purse disgorged two parts of a large, broken down handgun.

Servo: Who says Ex-Lax doesn't work?

With practiced movements, she had it snapped together in a flash.
Devlin just shook his head. "You should know that that isn't going to work..."

Mike (Sylia): I know, but sometimes I'm just seized by this sudden urge to shoot people!

Sylia didn't even pause in her run, snapping off a thundering shot that staggered her two steps sideways and spun him around from the shot's force, almost disintegrating his left shoulder in the process.

Servo: Wave Motion Gun, fire!

Two more shots followed as Devlin fell to the ground, hitting him in the stomach and right thigh. His cohorts looked on in surprise, finally overcoming their surprise to

Servo: Not be surprised.

pull out their own guns to pepper some shots back at her.
Sylia dashed through the door and made a sharp right, heading for the exit.

Mike: Unforunately, she went into the broom closet instead.

She dropped a small cylinder behind her as she ran for her life.

Allegra: But she's dead!

Two security guards barred her exit from the building. They seemed to react slowly, barely reaching for their stun guns.

Crow (security guards): Ssssttttooopppp rrrriiiggghhhttt tttthhheeerrreee...
Servo: Good one, Crow.
Crow: Tttthhhaaannnkkksss...ooohhhh cccrrrappp...IIII'mmm ssstttuuucckkk...
(Allegra hits Crow)
Crow: Ow! Thanks.
Allegra: Anytime. And I mean that.

With a flash of brilliant light, the concussive grenade she dropped exploded, catapulting the first vampire out into the dance floor, while flinging the others back into The Parapet.

Mike: Surprise!

People started screaming in panic, unsure of what was going on. Someone started screaming boomer.

Allegra: That makes sense. Stuff blowing up in MegaTokyo usually DOES mean "boomer".

The guards at the exit had finally recovered enough to pull out their guns and had them leveled at Sylia as she ran towards them. One of them yelled out, "Freeze! Or I'll fire!"

Servo: Isn't that a contradiction in terms?

as he dropped to his knee in a classic firing position.

Allegra: Nice stance.

He was stopped from following through with his threat as a large motorcycle crashed through the door, knocking him over as it roared on by.

Mike: It's Deus Ex Machina Man!

The big blue bike's tires squealed as it spun to a halt, right in front of Sylia. Without any fanfare, she hopped on the bike and spun it out, going back out the destroyed door in roar of its engine and the squeal of burning rubber.
Just a flicker of motion in her mirrors and Sylia ducked low at the very last second, as a baseball bat swished through the air where her head had been.

Crow: What's Mark Piazza doing in this?

The vampire had already gotten to its feet and almost caught up to her, while she was driving off on a motorcycle! She twisted the accelerator as hard as possible.

Mike: Where's Blade when you need him?

By the time she had hit the street, she was doing eighty kph and accelerating on one wheel.

Allegra: Go get 'em, Knievel!

In her rear view mirror, she saw Devlin's two vampires hop on their own street bikes and take off after her.

Crow: Hot damn! It's like watching "Dukes of Hazzard!"
Mike: We need some sound effects, guys.
All: Right!

She opened up the engine all the way.

Allegra: BlaaaGAHHHH!

Turning suddenly,

Crow: Eeeeenntttt!

she curved around a corner and onto a highway, where she could open up the big engines of the motorcycle.

Mike: BRRRRNNNN...BRRRNNNN...

"Damn!"

Servo: Kuso!
Mike: What?
Servo: Subtitles, Mike.

Sylia hissed, passing a Normal Police cruiser on the freeway traffic while doing over three hundred kph.

Mike: THREE HUNDRED KPH?
Servo: That's over 200 miles an hour! Her wheels would have melted!

She glanced back in frustration. She didn't need police problems on top of everything else.

Allegra: At 300 KPH, he ain't gonna catch you, lady!

The officer in question just blinked in surprise as the bike rocketed by his police cruiser with a roar. He set his coffee cup on in the console and flicked on his lights, his engine whining to life as it sped up.

Servo: Atomic batteries to power! Turbines to speed!

Twomore bullet bikes zipped on by him right as he accelerated.

Allegra: He screamed in pain as the coffee landed on his crotch.
Mike: Oooh...did you HAVE to say that?

"Punks! I'll show you!" He flicked his radio on. "Control, this is squad car

Crow: 54?
Servo: Adam 12?

251 on Highway 6, driving west past Tinsletown.

Allegra: When did this become Los Angeles?

I am in pursuit of three motorcycles in violation of numerous traffic laws and driving recklessly.

Servo (Control): So?
Mike (Car 251): And one of them has a taillight out!
Servo (Control): In that case, don't bother with reading them their rights, just grease 'em!

Possible gang activity. Request backup and oversight, out!"
"Roger, Car 251. Affirmative on backup and oversight," the voice over the radio responded.

Crow (Control): No boomers are on the rampage yet, so we're bored anyway...

Devlin groaned on the spattered floor.

Mike (Devlin): Gotta quit being a smartass when someone hauls out a gun...

He grit his teeth as the blood in his body flowed at his command.

Allegra: Yeah, all over the floor.

Impossibly, miraculously, his wounds started to heal. The dark fluid magically transmuting

Servo: Trans...MUTE!

into muscle and bones in soundless horror.

Crow: In fanfics...no one can hear you scream.

"God damn that witch! I'll see her burn in hell!" Devlin roared out,
staggering to his feet. His hunger screamed its agony, its demands to him.

Allegra: Bacon bacon bacon...

Devlin hissed, looking around the room, his eyes wild and dangerous. Several of the vampires understood his frantic gaze and stepped back unconsciously. A hungry vampire is a very dangerous thing.

Mike: Thanks for the bulletin.

Rumio had slowly slipped to the back of the room where a small fridge was kept stocked with blood in different liquor bottles.

Servo: Gives new meaning to the term "Bloody Mary"...

She felt, rather than saw the crazed vampire abruptly head towards her. Her fingers scrabbled frantically at the bottle cap.

Crow (Rumio): Damn childproof caps!

At the very last moment, she turned and threw the bottle lightly into the air and watched in morbid fascination as Devlin snagged it and drank the entire wine bottle in one obscenely large gulp.

Allegra: IT'S BACON!

Sentience reasserted itself in Devlin's eyes,

Mike: 'Bout time.

his angry glare encompassing the entire room. "Where is she?" he demanded quietly.

Crow (Kirk): KHAAANNN...

His tone of voice promised death.

Servo: In thirty minutes, or it's free!

James stood lightly on his feet, poised to fight or flee at a moments notice. Each of his people had guns out and ready. He suddenly relaxed marginally. "Sylvie? She took one look at you and ran off while shooting you with the biggest damn handgun I've ever seen.

Allegra (Devlin): I figured that part out, dummy.

Professional lady you embraced there, old chap.

Servo (James): Suddenly I'm British!

She covered her own exit and took off on some AI controlled motorbike from hell."
McQueen snarled deep in his throat. "She's mine! I claim her life for her attempt to kill me!"

Mike: I can understand that.
Allegra: Yeah, that's reasonable.

James nodded. "I won't fight you over some unknown child." The rest of the vampires nodded their agreement in that. "I won't help you, either.
I'm not going to get sucked into some private vendetta." He grinned suddenly. "You might want to warn your men who went after Sylvie. She's a dangerous little hotty."

Servo: Like Britney Spears with a really big gun and twice the IQ!

Devlin smiled, his expression made ghastly by the smeared blood on his lips. "Perfectly fine. And her name isn't 'Sylvie,' it is Sylia, Sylia Stingray."

Crow: Well, excuuuse me, Mr. Omnipotence.

Behind Devlin, Anton frowned. She lied to him, even as he stared into the depths of her soul.

Allegra (Tarkin): She lied! She lied to us!
Mike (Vader): I told you she would never consciously betray the Rebellion. (pauses) Great. Now I'm doing it.
Allegra: Come to the dark side, Mike...
Mike: Been there for some time, Allegra.

His frown disappeared as suddenly as it appeared.

Crow: Turn that frown upside down!

Perhaps he should find out what was so different about her before turning her over to Devlin and his crowd.

Allegra: Isn't it a bit late for that?

James had seen that quick change go over Anton.

Servo: As he stepped out of the phone booth.

Inwardly he felt sorry for the young woman, thrust so suddenly in the midst of centuries old predators.

Crow: You just wait until the Aliens show up, buddy.

She would be lucky to live out a week.

Allegra: Of course, this is "I've Got Really Big Guns" Sylia.

Sylia swerved in and out of traffic on the highway, headlights strobing the night as the night's wind tore at her with chill fingers. A quick glance showed the two bikes slowly closing on her. For just a second,
she wished that she had Priss's skill with bike riding.

Servo: Considering that Priss tends to wreck her bike all the time, no, you don't.

They were only barely gaining. If she had been just a bit more skilled, she could probably lose them on her own.

Crow: But she sucked eggs, so she didn't.

He eyes narrowed, as she saw an exit to one of the abandoned upper level roads coming up fast. The engine screamed

Allegra: EEEEIIIII!
Mike: Ow! Allegra!
Crow: Yeah! Don't do that!

as she pushed the engine to the max, cutting off two cars and almost causing an accident.

Mike: Hey, it's "World's Greatest Police Chases LXVIII!"

She needed to get away from the police and any innocents who might get hurt in a crossfire.

Allegra: Oh, come on. Everybody's guilty of something.

The barricade in front of her didn't even slow down her heavily armored bike.

Servo: Sylia, on the other hand, became street pizza.

The two bikes behind her slid smoothly up the incline, not even missing a beat.

Crow: They've got the beat!

Hunched over they coaxed every last bit of performance out of their monster bikes. They had to admire their prey's choice of motorcycle, as they were having to really push themselves to catch up.
High above them and straining to keep up, an ADP helicopter trained its cameras on the three bikes.

Mike: Ah, enter the Redshirts.

"Control, this is flight 52-Hornet,

(Everyone hums the "Green Hornet" theme)

in pursuit of suspects on motorcycles, now turning off on too... elevated Highway 24-D. Over." With practiced ease, he brought the speedy helicopter up behind them. His military helmet's pickup zoomed in on the one bike in the lead.
The ADP dispatcher hunched over her desk,

Mike (Quasimodo): Sanctuary...

her fingers flying across her keyboard and screen. "All units, the suspects have left Highway 8. The lead suspect has been tentatively identified as being involved in an armed confrontation, possible boomer incident number 16-2.

Allegra: Everything bad in MegaTokyo has to do with boomers. The Normal Police must be bored stiff.

Suspect is considered to be armed and dangerous. Over."

Crow: Suspect looks like John Candy, over

An officer leaned over her desk, studying the screens. He touched a button on his headset. "All units, lead suspect appear to be trying to escape or evade the other two motorcycles. How long until those high speed chasers can catch up?"

Mike (Control): They can't, sir! They're going 300 kph!

Leon grinned as his cruiser bounced off the ramp a bit, turning up the on ramp. Squealing tires complained about the stress loudly.

Allegra (tires): Knock it off, butthole!

Time for another tune up, Leon thought to himself. As soon as he had a straight of way, his fingers stabbed at four buttons in sequence.

Servo: The first one enabled his way-cool sunglasses. The second put the seat back. The third was the speed lines button. The fourth put on "Konya Wa Hurricane."

His engine's roar turned into a scream

Mike: Sounds like he needs to get his fan belt looked at, too.

as fins and air intakes turned the car into the fastest turbine charged police chaser in Japan.

Crow: It's the MIB car!
Allegra: Kewl!

The two other ADP police chaser's followed suit, falling in behind Leon, lights and sirens blaring.

(Mike looks at the Bots and Allegra)
Mike: No sound effects.
Bots and Allegra: Aww...

Daley just sighed and picked up the microphone. "Control, this is Detective Wong.

Allegra (Control): Wong number! Bwah-ha-ha! I slay...um...er...never mind.
Mike: Moving right along...

We should be catching up to the suspects in about a minute. Over."
"Roger. All units, Highway 24-D is partially demolished and ends twenty-
five clicks in front of the nearest units. Be warned and watch for the end of the road.

Crow and Servo (Leon and Daley): OH SHI-
Allegra: Shi is trademark of William Tucci and Crusade Comics. Just covering my own ass here.

Over."
Sylia's motoslave's console started to flash a warning, showing a collision warning, six kilometers ahead. She gripped the brakes while sliding the bike to a stop.

Crow: Way cool! It's Steve McQueen from "The Great Escape!"

By the end of the slide she had spun the back around toward her pursuers. Her thumb toggled a safety screen off on her grip and fired almost immediately.

Mike: A little flag came out that read, "Bang!"

The two vampires were grinning as they saw her up ahead, until two plumes of smoke exploded from the undercarriage of Sylia's bike.

Allegra: Her tires blew!

The two missiles acquired their targets instantly as they spiraled in, signaling each other on which missile was targeting which bike.

Servo (missile one): I've got the one on the left!
Crow (missile two): Your left or my left?

One of the vampires reacted quicker than the other and leaped just before the missiles hit. He was flung into the air, his momentum throwing him over the curving edge of the highway.

Mike: Ow. He might as well have saved himself the trouble and gotten blown up.

His partner didn't even have the chance to scream as he and his bike was engulfed in a blistering explosion that melted asphalt.

Allegra: Neat. Inferno rounds.

Sylia nodded as she brought up the mini-computer console on the bike.
There was only one way out of here on ground and that was going to be blocked by the cops any moment. The whirring roar of a helicopter interrupted her.
"Control! The lead suspect has fired what appear to be missiles at the other suspects. Both pursuer bikes are hit and down! Asking for permission to unlock weapons and take her down! Over!"

Mike: Always wondered what happened to the LAPD in the future.

The controller looked up at the commanding officer for his decision.

Crow (controller): I'm not taking the fall for you this time, buddy.

He nodded curtly back. "Roger, 52-Hornet, take him down, hard!" she said, a hard edge on her own voice.

Allegra (52-Hornet): But sir, it's a her! What then?
Crow (controller): Well, take her down hard, but with a gentle touch!

"Confirmed!" the pilot responded, flicking several toggles and freeing the gun to follow his helmet finder.
Sylia saw the helicopter come back around, it's gun swing around to target her. She spun out and angled away towards the helicopter as it flew overhead, spitting a stream of bullet that just missed her bike.

Mike: Oh, my bad. These aren't the Redshirts, these are Imperial Stormtroopers.

Leon swore

Servo (Leon): By the power of Grayskull!

as he saw the target heading towards the end of the highway.
It jogged back and forth, bullets just barely missing the fleeing figure.

Crow: Nyah-nyah! Can't hit me!

Sylia laid the bike on its side just a mere thirty feet from the edge,
sparks flying from the armored carapace as she shed as much speed as possible while trying not to be hit.

Allegra: Crushing her legs in the process.

Her wheels wavered back and forth,
as she struggled to control the bike.
Daley gripped the dashboard as he saw the bike go over the edge, the ADP attack helicopter attempting to turn and follow the strange maneuver.
"What the hell?" he cried out.

Servo (Daley): What kind of idiots are we hiring as chopper pilots?

Sylia felt the bike starting to slip out of her grasp. One last twist of the controls and a frantic cybernetic command shifted the bike into its motoroid form.

Allegra: Chu-chk-chk-ca-chuk ! (Transformer transformation sound.)

Its arm caught her as the shoulder mounted jet engines turned it to fly back under the bridge, still losing attitude. In the few seconds available, it rocketed behind a building and turned down a side street. In a moment more, it was again a motorcycle, cruising along the road.

Crow (Optimus Prime): Autobots, transform and move out!

Soon, not even the shadows could see her, as she disappeared.

Allegra: Poof!

"Control! I have lost the target! I have negative contact and no confirmed hits!" the pilot called out, after managing to turn around.
Leon skidded the car to a stop and popped open his door. He trotted to the edge while pulling out his gun,

Mike (Leon): I'll give you a hit, you moron!

his slicked back hair being mussed by the high winds.

Servo (Leon): I am HOT!

Nothing but slums and deserted buildings met his view for thousands of feet.

Allegra: Boy, in MegaTokyo, when they say elevated highway, they MEAN it!

"Control, I can confirm that. We've lost the bogie!" Leon glanced at his partner in confusion. What had they been chasing, a ghost?

Crow: If so, Casper's heavily armed these days!

Something nagged at him,

Mike: Probably his mother.

gnawing at the edge of his conscious. Whatever it was,
maybe it would come to him later.

Servo: I doubt it.

Daley just rubbed his chin in thought as he nodded absently back to Leon.

Allegra (Daley): You suck.
Crow (Leon): You wish!

Sylia turned her motorcycle into an alley near the Silky Doll. At the end of the alley, a concealed elevator took Sylia down into the hidden recesses of the building.
For the next few hours, she maintained the motoslave, restocking its munitions and patching up the armor and paint while tuning it up. On the off chance that someone might recognize it, she painted it a much darker blue. When it was done, it gleamed like new.

Allegra: Somebody contact Jeff Gordon! Sylia can be his whole pit crew!

Looking up from her work, she looked at the different support robots that she had here. Nene's almost never used original pink motoslave lay under a tarp, right next to a failed prototype.

Crow: Which we mention just to irk hell out of you, because we won't tell you what it was.

Sylia pulled the tarp off and slid her hand down its length. It had been a serviceable unit.
Nene had just never been very comfortable with riding it. It had been almost a year since she or Nene had used their motoslaves.
Sylia smiled as she realized the only one who really liked the devices was Priss, who was already on her third one.

Servo: This month!
Mike: There's something about that paragraph that just sounds nasty.

She glanced over at the monster motorcycle, easily half again the size of any other bikes in the garage. Its guns and missile loads were stashed in the crates next to it. A true monster also when it came to maintenance and cost. It should be useful again.
Sylia loosened the collar of her jumpsuit and headed up to clean up before dawn. She stepped out of the elevator into the living room. Her senses told her almost immediately that someone else was here.

Servo (Vader): I sense a presence...a presence I've not felt since...

Sylia grit her teeth

All: Grrr...

as she heard the drumming sound of a heartbeat, coming from her kitchen. She felt a consuming hunger at the sound of that heartbeat, that shook her minds foundations.

Mike: That fly would die!

"Yo! Sylia! I've been trying to track you down!" Priss said, sticking her head out of the kitchen.

Allegra: Getting it ripped off by Sylia.

"Hello, Priss. I'm going to take a quick shower. I'll be right out,"
Sylia said as she walked down the hall.

Mike: Boys? I call no lesbian riffs.
Crow: What? Mike, I'm shocked. Like we would do such a thing.
Servo: Yeah, Mike. What do you take us for?
Mike: Not gonna answer that.

"Sure!" Priss leaned up against counter, sipping at the coffee that she had just finished making.

Servo: Knowing Priss, it's so strong she has to sip it or her teeth will dissolve.

Sylia was back out in a surprising short amount of time, toweling her hair dry. She might not sweat anymore, but smoke and oil grease still made her stink. "What are you up to, Priss?"

Crow (Priss): Serial killing. You?

Priss glanced around. Mackie had gone to bed, complaining about being too tired to stay up and work on one of his projects. Her eyes finally met Sylia's. "What's going on, Sylia?"

Allegra (Sylia): I asked first!

Sylia arched her left eyebrow in feigned surprise. "What do you mean?"

Servo (Sylia as Spock): Illogical.

"This new enemy has you spooked, bad. When are you going to tell us who they are?" she asked.

Allegra (Sylia): They're them.
Mike (Priss): Them?
Allegra (Sylia): You know...they.

"When I have enough information. It would be too dangerous to say anything prematurely." Sylia wrapped the towel around her neck loosely.

Servo: Nice hangman's noose there, Sylia.

"Well, you've been having me do a lot more with helping on the Knight Sabers. Meeting people, buying equipment and going over schedules and security.

Allegra (Priss): Stop it, Sylia! Responsibility, growing up! I CAN'T TAKE IT!

You almost sound like you're afraid you're going to disappear or something."
"Not at all," Sylia lied. "I'm just too busy finding out information and redesigning the hardsuits again. When I feel I have enough useful information, I'll inform you and the rest of the group."

Mike (Sylia): So there!

"Sylia! That isn't going to cut it anymore! Nene looks like she might quit the group, you've got Mackie worried silly and you're putting yourself out of the loop!" Priss said loudly.
"We'll discuss this later," Sylia replied calmly as she started to feel the sun starting to rise. She stood up and walked out the door.

Crow: Not bothering to open it.

Sylia was spun back around by Priss as she jumped to her own feet. "No,
we'll discuss it now, damn it!

Allegra (Priss): Or I'll hold my breath until I turn blue!

This is too important for you to pull your damned 'I'm too mysterious' shit, Sylia!" Priss stared up at the taller woman, their faces inches away. She had forgotten that Sylia was so tall!

Crow: And so...
Mike: Crow, we agreed!
Crow: I was going to say...um...pale! Yeah, that's it!

She noted an odd muscle tick in Sylia's face.

Allegra: That and the maniacal grin and hysterical giggles.

Priss's sweat and leather smell filled Sylia's nose as her hunger seemed to roar loudly in her ears.

Crow: Eergh...must...fight...hentai...riff...
Servo: Be strong, Crow!

Unconsciously, her eyes traced her face,
down to the curve of her neck as the sound of her beating heart seemed to fill her ears, resounding within the vaults of her mind.

Crow: Can't...hold on...
Mike: Crow, you can do it!

"Sylia! Sylia! Snap out of it!" Priss cried out.

Crow: Rrrggh...
Mike: I think it's over, Crow.
Crow: Whew!
Mike: Congratulations.

Sylia was unnerving her, just staring at her like that. It was like she was in a trance.

Servo: SLEEEEP!
Mike: I knew that was coming.

Priss pulled her hand back to slap her when Sylia's hand snaked out and

Allegra: Bit her.

held it fast. Sylia's iron grip didn't sway in the slightest as Priss tried to break free.

Crow: New Sylia with Kung-Fu Grip!

"We will discuss this later," Sylia said tightly, her lips pressed tightly together, trembling slightly. Hunger, urges, none of these things had threatened her control so horribly from before she was made into this monster.

Allegra (Egor): A monssster! A monssster!
Mike: You do that too well.

Did she need to feed again? She released Priss's hand with a jerk,

Servo: Oh, so Leon was helping her.

almost bowling her over from the stress.

Allegra (Sylia): Best two out of three, Priss?

Without a backwards glance, she stalked down the hall towards the elevator. Lethargy suddenly encompassed her as stabbing light filled the living room in front of her.

Crow: I was wondering when her batteries would finally give out.

As she realized what that light was, fear and horror arose in her breast.

All: SHE'S GOT FANFIC SIGGGNNN!

She had waited too long! The sun had risen and she was merely feet away from something that stories said that could destroy her utterly!

Allegra: Ah, come on. Those are just old wives' tales. Open up and let the light shine in!
Mike: Those are really old wives' tales?
Allegra: Nah, I just want to see somebody burn to a crisp. This is a BGC fic and there hasn't been enough mindless destruction yet.

It took all of her willpower to not flee screaming into the bathroom and lock the door.

Mike: Must be a Ratliff fic.

"Room - blinds, full closure," Sylia said, her voice strained to the limit.

Crow: Tea, Earl Grey, hot.

The room was suddenly swallowed in near darkness,
only small beams of sunlight leaking through.
As if her fear had been the only thing keeping her standing, she staggered drunkenly, almost falling to the ground.
Priss stared in mute astonishment from behind her, rubbing her sore wrist. "Sylia?"

Allegra (Priss): Are you on drugs? Can I have some?

Sylia squelched the impulse to turn and look at Priss. She focused on taking one step after another, slowly walking with stilted steps.

Servo: Damn sobriety tests!

Her body felt like lead, until a single beam of sunlight burned her leg. She jerked as if shot, sprinting into the elevator.

Mike: And she's off!

The door slid shut behind her, framing Priss's surprised expression just before slamming shut.
The elevator ride seemed to take an eternity,

Crow: Muzak will do that to you.

during which she fought her bodies overwhelming desire to collapse had to be fought with an icy determination.

Allegra: Mike, your universal translator just died.

She focused on her burned leg. It looked as if acid had been splashed on it, muscle and even a bit of bone visible.

Mike (Sylia): By golly, those anatomy texts are right on!

Finally, she staggered out of the elevator and into the sub basement. Sixty feet had never felt so far, such a hard hurdle to leap before.

Servo: That's not a hurdle, that's a pole vault!

Finally, she entered her secure laboratory and shop. The door locked,
with her being the only person that could open it. Not even Mackie would be able to enter it until night! With the last of her strength, she laid out on a table that she had set up with blankets and a head rest.

Allegra (Sylia): Now if I only had some marshmellows...

With comforting darkness around her, she let her body succumb to its daily stasis. She was safe, at least until night. She let her mind turn to other things.

Crow: Like snoring.

Priss just stared in surprise. What the hell was going on?

Mike: Beats me.

Sylia was acting all weird and then almost collapsing as she... fled!

Allegra: Good! You get a cookie.

Why had Sylia had to leave?

Crow: She had to go to the Department of Redundancy Department.

Maybe it had to do whatever this crap that was messing up everyone's life.

Servo: Nah. She probably just had to make a run for the little vigilante girls' room.

With renewed determination, she strode across the darkened living room to the elevator. She watched as the elevator supposedly went down to the basement. The basement light flickered three times for a second.

Crow: A shot rang out!
Allegra: A woman screamed!

"The lowest sub basement, huh? Well, Sylia, you and I aren't done talking just yet!" Priss said to herself. When the elevator returned,
she boarded it and went all the way down.

Mike: She went down, down, down, until the flames got higher.

It took her about an hour,

Crow: That is one slow elevator.

but she found only one area that she was unable to enter. It was supposedly where Sylia designed their hardsuits,
robots and other combat vehicles. The door was thick and solid metal, no ordinary intruder would be able to breach that forbidding armored entrance.

Servo: But of course, Priss is no ORDINARY intruder.

"Hmpf. If that's the way you want to play it." Priss stomped off.

Allegra: If at first you don't succeed...give up! Who the hell are you trying to impress, anyway?

-
Mackie yawned as he made himself breakfast.

Mike: Twinkies and a Coke.
Allegra: Ugh...and that's coming from someone who drinks blood.

His tussled hair showed that he had attempted to make himself presentable. He glanced at his watch,
noting that he only had a half an hour to get to the ADP and track Nene down. He'd been hoping that she would at least call or drop in to talk to Sylia or himself. But she'd been aggressively unavailable,

Servo: Well, there's a new concept!
Mike: Aggressively unavailable! It's being mean with nobody there!

her answering machine telling anyone that she'll return their call shortly.
And it had been a week and still no sign of change.
He'd been surprised at how hurt he'd been by her cold shoulder tactics.
Belatedly, he'd realized that was probably how she felt when he'd told her that he was planning on going to Germany without telling her.

Crow: The light slowly dawns.

The toaster jarred him back to business as it

Allegra: Exploded.

spat out his single slice bread.

All: Spwt!

After a lot of thinking the last couple of days, he'd come to realize that he had to apologize to her.

Allegra: Not if he's a normal guy.
Crow: Had a lot of experience there, Allegra?
Allegra (getting up): Guess who just hit another nerve!
Crow: D'oh!
Mike (gently hauling Allegra down): Easy there. Calm down. On behalf of my gender, I apologize for whatever we've done to you.
Allegra: Hmpf. It's what they haven't done that bothers me.

Sighing, he started to munch on his toast as he walked to the elevator. In just a few minutes, he was driving along on a custom motorcycle that he'd been working on to replace his lost and very lamented Highway Star.

Servo: Highway Star, we hardly knew ye...

It had never been the same after Priss had wrecked it.

Servo: More like blew it into a thousand small pieces.

This one was just as powerful, but was able to be toned down enough for a normal person to ride, with some added control circuits.
He was a mere minute away when an alarm in the building started to go off, indicating an intruder in the basement.

Crow: Boy, Dave Hines just doesn't know when to lay off, does he?

Priss grunted in effort, sending the armored shod fist of her motoslave slamming into the deformed door in front of her again.

Servo: Avon calling!

Her next punch loosened the robot's foothold, sending the armored behemoth sliding back. Doggedly, she crawled it back up to the door and braced its legs again. Even hunched over, the Typhoon II motoslave nearly didn't fit in the hall.

Allegra: Well, Priss is in character. A sane person would just go up and see if Mackie knew the combination, and a kind person would just leave Sylia alone for awhile. Since Priss is neither, she's gonna knock that puppy down!

Seeing a gap, she gripped the edge of the door and pulled.

Crow (Priss as Jack Nicholson): Heeere's Priss!

In just a few moments, it finally gave out, showing the interior of the dimly lit room. Sylia was laid out on a table, covered with a blanket.

Mike (McCoy): She's dead, Jim.

The sides of her head was in some sort of contraption, LED's blinking on and off.

Servo: What a dastardly thing to do! Someone's turned Sylia into Lobot!
Crow: Nah, it's just a cool Walkman.

"Son of a bitch!" Priss whispered.

Allegra: No, I don't see Leon or Mackie.

It was like some sort of high tech Frankenstein movie set. Was Sylia some sort of... ?

Mike: Monster?
Allegra: Mutant?
Servo: Boomer?
Crow: Hottie?

Priss didn't even want to think about that.

Crow: Yeah. I mean, why start thinking now?

Sylia turned slightly, her eyes opening. After she had seen that it was Priss breaking in, she had laid back to wait for her.

Allegra: Because only Priss would be stupid enough to wreck her motoslave trying to break down a door.

She didn't have any way to stop her even if she had wanted to.
"Okay, Sylia! Get up! You've got some explaining to do!"

Crow: And clean up this room! It looks like a pigsty!

Priss commanded as she stepped out of the exo-frame of the motoslave.

Allegra (Ripley): Get away from her, you bitch!

As if it were a struggle to even speak, "I... can't," Sylia whispered out.

Mike (Lex Luthor): My lawyers will be seeing you Monday about that door.

Priss blinked in surprise. "Well, you can talk! Tell me what the hell is going on! Or I trash this room!"

Servo: Given that you've already started...

Sylia struggled against her body's inability to function. "No! Please...
don't!" She weakly raised her arm.
"Okay, then! Talk... Omifuckingod.

Allegra: There's a new word for you, boys and girls!
Mike: Swearing and blasphemy, Priss can do it all!

The suit's sensors... they say you're dead!" Priss exclaimed.

Crow (Sylia): Oh, like you're sooo alive!

According to her thermal imaging sensors, Sylia was as cold as that table!

Servo: Well, she is an ice queen.

Priss lifted the visor of her hardsuit in mute astonishment.
Sylia's eyes closed. Priss watched in mute terror as tears, terrible red tears, slowly cascaded down her face, disappearing into her dark hair.

Servo: Allegra, can you do that?
Allegra: Sure, but only when I'm really depressed.
Crow: So, why are you still a virgin?
Allegra: WAAAHHHH! (Think C-ko with bloody tears.)
Mike (wincing as blood gets on his jumpsuit...not that you could tell) Oh, nice one, Crow.
Crow: Well, she said she was upset at what men HADN'T done to her, so I took a shot in the dark...
Servo: You're going to take a shot, all right.

Priss suddenly felt as if she'd been punched in her stomach.

Crow: She puked all over the floor.

Boomers didn't cry blood. "Aw, shit. Vampires."

Mike: My point exactly. Let's get out of here for a bit.
(Mike picks up Tom and follows Crow and Allegra, the latter still bawling.)
(Door sequence...you know the routine.)

Gypsy handed (mouthed?) Allegra a hankerchief to dry her bloody tears. The girl still sniffled pitifully. Mike had put on a new jumpsuit, and was standing behind Crow, looking stern. "Don't you have something to say, Crow?" he admonished.
Crow looked down. "Gee, Mike," he said quietly, "I mean, Servo did ask for an explanation, and..."
Servo, sitting on the bridge, looked over at Crow. "Crow, once she recovers, she is going to kill you." His dome swiveled over to look at Cambot. "Ready to tape?"
"Boys...Crow, Tom's right. Think of this as self-preservation."
Crow's eyes were still downcast. He sighed and ambled over to Allegra. "Allegra...I'm sorry. For the virgin comment. And for the garlic and napalm sauce. And for making fun of your mother."
Allegra dried her eyes, which narrowed at Crow's last comment. "Making fun of my mother? When did you do that?"
"Well, I haven't yet, but it's a long fic..." He braced himself for the worst when Allegra reached out, but instead she kissed his beak.
"Thank you for apologizing, Crow. I knew there was a heart underneath that brass exterior."
"Whew!" Crow said. "So you're not mad?"
"No, no. It's all in fun." She handed the hankerchief back to Gypsy.
Servo mumbled something about "curses, foiled again." To change the subject, Mike said, "So, Allegra, is the way vampires are depicted in this fic pretty much true to life?"
Allegra shrugged. "Kind of. The use of vampire abilities, like running really fast and surviving being shot with hand howitzers is right on. And the bloody tears, as you've seen, is accurate. The whole Goth stereotype is a bit much, though. Not all of us are into face paint and industrial rock. I like quiet walks in the park and Enya myself. And Sylia would have been screaming like a castrated banshee if the sun had burned her. These vampires are being way too obvious in this. Going around flashing fangs is a good way for vampire hunters to kill you."
"Ooh! You mean like Buffy?" Servo gushed.
"Oh, please," Allegra said, rolling her eyes. "If Buffy was real and showed up in my city, she'd be heading home to that hellhole she lives in with her ass in a wheelbarrow."
The lights started warbling again. As they headed off, Mike said, "I don't know, Allegra. Buffy's pretty strong."
"Not as strong as I am. See? Watch." She picked up Crow with one hand. "The windup...and the pitch!" With that, she tossed Crow like a javelin.

(Door sequence. As the doors open, Crow goes screaming through them. Once in the theater, he struggles into his normal seat, followed by Tom, Mike, and Allegra.)
Servo: I was wondering when the other shoe would drop.
Crow: You said you weren't mad at me, Allegra!
Allegra: I'm not. I mean, Mike did ask for an explanation...

Nene walked out the door and outside to the parking lot, her head bowed down.

Servo: "Bow down before the one you serve/You're gonna get what you deserve..."

She had a set of folders in her hands. She was almost to her motor scooter when someone attempted to get to her attention by clearing their throat.

(All make hacking noises as if coughing up a hairball or a lung.)

Nene glanced up apathetically.

Allegra (Nene): I just don't CARE anymore!

What she saw set her heart racing, whether from surprise, anger or something else, she could not say.

Crow (Church Lady): Could it be...LUST?

Mackie stood by his bike which was parked next to hers, a curiously pensive expression etched on him.

Servo: Etched? Ouch. That must have hurt.

"Uh... hi, Nene!"
"What do you want, Mr. Stingray?" Nene replied frostily.

Mike (standing up with a towel, wiping the screen): I'll say. It froze over.

Mackie winced. "Just to talk, um, apologize actually." His left hand fiddled on top of the fire-engine red bike.

Servo: Ooh! Is he playing "The Devil Went Down to Georgia?"
Allegra: No, I think it's "Cotton Eye Joe"...

"Oh? What, you aren't going to bribe me with ice cream?" Nene said tartly.

Mike: "Tartly?" "Ice cream?" Oh, I get it! It's a joke!

"What?" Mackie stuttered out. He stared at her in surprise. He blushed as he realized that she was aware of one of his favorite tricks to get her to help him.

Servo: Usually works, too.

Nene just glared at him, which Mackie found to be quite disturbing. The opening in the conversation stretched uncomfortably wider.

Crow: The chasm yawned before him.

Mackie blinked nervously. He had thought this was going to be easier than it was turning out to be. Opting to say something, he replied, "Um, Nene, do you want to go out somewhere to eat? Or something?"

Crow (Mackie): We can go to Dairy Queen!

Nene's face softened slightly. "It's nice to see that you're actually asking me, instead of just making all of our decisions, Mackie!"

Mike: They're like a married couple already.

She took a deep breath and then expelled it.

Servo: Out, out, damn breath!

"Yes, you can. That doesn't mean that you've apologized yet, mister!"
Mackie nodded vigorously.

Allegra: Gee, whipped already.

"Hey! Nene! Glad I caught you before you managed to leave!" a jaunty male voice called out.
Nene wilted even below her normal five feet. Oh, no! Leon!

Crow (Nene): I'm melting! I'm melting!

"Hello, Leon. What can I help you with today?"

Mike: Besides out the door?

"I was trying to get some old footage we have of the Knight Sabers, to check something, and the video records in the mainframe are all messed up.

Allegra (Nene): Did you turn on the monitor?
Mike (Leon): Oh, so that's what was wrong!

I've got hardcopy backups from the vault on their way, but I thought I might ask you to try and wiggle your magic fingers

Servo: Is that like Magic Voice?
Magic Voice: No, Magic Fingers is my cousin.
Allegra: What the...
Mike: We'll explain later, Allegra.

to clear them up enough so that I can take a look at them." Leon smiled as he slid on his glasses.

Servo: Ray Charles IS Leon McNichol.

It was way too bright out here. Nippy too. He zipped up his jacket.

Mike: Eww! Leon's nippin' out!

"Uh, Leon? Can it wait till tomorrow?" Nene looked over Mackie.
"Now, Nene, this is pertaining to an investigation concerning a possible homicide!

Crow (Leon): Namely, yours if you don't help me now!

Surely you're dutiful enough to stay behind at work for a mere half an hour?" Leon poked her shoulder for emphasis. "It could make a very favorable impression in your next review!"
Nene winced and then glared at Mackie.

Servo (Nene): This is all your fault, you...you man!

This was all his fault!

Crow: Servo, dammit! Quit reading ahead!
Servo: I didn't!

Leon had been holding that one incident last week above her to get her to do extra computer work.

Allegra: The one where Nene got drunk and naked? Or the one where Nene overate and barfed her hot fudge sundae on Leon's car? Which incident?

"I guess." Leon noticed the glare and finally took stock of the young man standing there. "Oh, ho! So is this the young man that's been causing you all sorts of grief?"

Mike (Mackie): No sir, I'm the FedEx guy.

Mackie blinked. "What?"
Nene just wished the floor would swallow her whole. "Le-on!

Servo: Cr-ow!
Crow: T-om!
Mike: Bo-ys!
Allegra: Shut-up!

That's none of your business!" Nene whined.

(Allegra makes a noise remarkably like that of a spanked puppy.)
Mike and the Bots: Aww...poor thing.

Leon smiled predatorily suddenly.

Servo: It's a vampire! Kill him!

"Well, don't you fret your little head, Nene!" Leon put his arm over Mackie's shoulder. "I'm sure he'd be more than happy to wait for you. Say, kid, what's your name?" Leon said conversationally as he directed Mackie back inside.

Mike (Gene Wilder): Jim...but most people call me...Jim.

"Uh, Mackie. Mackie Stingray!" Mackie looked down at Leon's hand and then pleadingly back at Nene.

Servo (Mackie): For the love of Freud, Nene! Get this freak away from me!

"Detective Leon McNichol. Pleased to meet you."
Nene managed to squelch the urge to snicker at Mackie's problem. "Why,
thank you, Mackie. You're so kind."

Allegra: You're so kind you blow my mind! Hey Mackie! Hey Mackie!
(Everybody claps. Join in if you like.)

Mackie managed to not grumble at all on the way to a secured terminal room. Leon waved them on through any security checkpoints as if he hadn't a care in the world.

Mike: Of course, Mackie could be a boomer, or a terrorist with a nuke strapped to him, but hey! He's Leon's buddy!
Servo: No wonder the AD Police have such a high casualty rate.

Making a show of cracking his knuckles,

Allegra: Apparently unable to actually do it...

Leon proceeded to bring up some records. "See these are the ones I need you to fix, if you can," he said.

Servo (Nene): Records? What are those?

On the screen where two motorcycles driving up the spiral road to the top of Genom Tower. "I remember them being a lot clearer, so I think someone's tampered with them."
Nene nodded quite stoically. Yeah, she said silently, someone did! Me!

Crow: Me! Me! Me!

"I'll see what I can do!"

Servo: To screw it up even further!

"Perfect! Hey, Mackie, wasn't it? You drink coffee? Come on, let's leave Nene to finish this as quickly as possible!" Leon was suddenly dragging Mackie outside, letting the door to close behind them.

Nene sighed and looked at the image that Leon wanted fixing.

Allegra (Nene): Hey, wait a minute! This is porn!

Well, she couldn't lose her 'magic' touch, could she?

Crow: I...I'm not touching that one.
Mike: You're learning.

Perhaps she could fix only part of the image, maybe the motorcycle and some of the building behind it.

Mike: Yeah, like Leon won't notice that.
Allegra: Leon? He might not.

Sylia said that the old motoslave design was kind of obsolete. So that shouldn't hurt. Whistling, she went back to work.

Crow (Nene): Whistle while you work! Leon is a jerk!

Back outside, Mackie found himself scrutinized by the very large and intimidating detective.

Servo (snickering): Leon? Intimidating?
Allegra: Could be worse. Could be Daley.

"So, you're Nene's boyfriend, huh?" Leon said quietly.

Crow (Mackie): No! I thought she was eighteen! I plead the Fifth! I was home the whole time!

"Uh, yeah. I guess so. Well, maybe." Mackie was a bit confused.

Allegra: Leon must be contagious.

Leon had his arm back around him as he guided him back down the hall.
"Now, I don't know if you realize it, but Nene's almost considered our little sister, here at the ADP. We really don't like it when she's upset," Leon spoke as if he was talking about the weather. His grip on his shoulder tightened, almost painfully.

Mike (Leon): People who upset Nene have...accidents.

Mackie looked down at the hand, the meaning becoming blatantly obvious.

Crow (Mackie): Aww...he likes me!

"So we want you to treat Nene as if you were a perfect gentleman, okay?"
Leon continued on as if he was discussing some boring news with a friend.

Allegra: Pot, meet kettle.

"Uh, huh!" Mackie managed to get, his eyes a little wild.
"Good, good! It's nice to see that you understand!" Leon stopped suddenly. "Oh, wait! The nearest coffee machine is all the way in the cafeteria. Maybe later, huh?"

Servo (Leon): Sorry, sometimes I'm a total moron!

Mackie nodded his agreement.
Leon seemed to think something was funny as he escorted him back to the room Nene was in, laughing joyfully.

All: BWAH HA HA HA!

Nene looked up as the two entered.
Nene just stared at them oddly.

Allegra: Makes sense. They're both pretty odd.

Mackie seemed to be very nervous for some reason. And Leon laughing was just plain odd.

Servo: Oh, right! It's not like Leon is frigging James Dean! He laughs all the time!
Mike: Easy, Tom.

"I'm just about done, Leon. See?" she said, pointing at the screen.
Leon nodded appreciatively. "Yeah, that's it!"

Crow (Leon): Now my Nude Raider patch will work!

On a screen right next to it, he pulled up another picture, more recent and one that neither Nene nor Mackie had seen before. It was a snap shot of a woman on a motorcycle, a good side view. The motorcycle was quite distinctive. It was a bright blue motoslave. The woman riding it had long black hair that was partially hiding her face. Bullets sparked on the ground around her.

Allegra (Leon): Major Katsuragi? What the hell?

Nene suppressed her instinct to gasp. That was Sylia's motoslave!
Sylia's Hurricane motoslave? "What!" Mackie exclaimed softly, his eyes wide. He couldn't quite stop himself.
"Eh?

Crow: Leon's Canadian?
Servo: Explains a lot, doesn't it?
Mike: Oh, now you've done it...
Allegra: Why?
(Thunder booms and a lightning bolt hits Tom in his dome. He screams loudly.)
Allegra: Oh.
Mike: That happens every now and then. You okay, Tom?
Servo: Auntie Em! Auntie Em!

Is there something wrong?" Leon asked inquisitively.

Servo (shaking it off): You bet! I just got hit by lightning, dammit! This gets old, you know! I mean, first the Interrossiter, and now this! Who's writing this, anyway?
Mike: Tom...fourth wall.

"Ah! No! Wow! That's a neat bike! And, uh, who's that on it?" Mackie tried to reply glibly. "I, uh, build motorcycles, you know!"

Crow (Mackie): And I don't know her! No, sir! She looks like my sister, but that can't be it, can it! Ha ha ha...

"Now that is a million yen question.

Allegra: So it's not worth much, then.

That picture is of a young lady who evaded the police in the wee hours this morning. Well, after shooting some missiles that blew up two bikes and we think one driver of said bike.

Mike (Leon): The other driver we scraped up with a spatula. Wanna see?

And with this little bit of info, I'm now positive that she is riding the same vehicle that the Knight Sabers use!" Leon proclaimed grandly.

Allegra: Leapin' logic!

Nene and Mackie looked at each other in puzzlement.

Crow (Mackie): Just when you think he couldn't get any dumber, huh?

"So she might be another Knight Saber!" Leon said, as if explaining a very simple thing to small children.

Mike (Leon): And when a mommy Knight Saber and a daddy Knight Saber love each other very much...

Nene's watch started to beep. She quickly turned off the signal.

Allegra (Nene): Die! Die, Tamigotchi!

"Oh! Wow! We're kind of late. Uh, say, Leon? If you don't mind, we're going to get stuck in traffic if we don't leave soon!" Nene blabbed out quickly.

Crow (Nene): Nope! No Knight Sabers here, no siree bob!

Mackie nodded agreement. "It was, uh, nice to meet you Officer McNichol!"

Mike (Mackie): Nice like a dose of syphilis, that is!

They both beat a hasty retreat out the door.

Crow: Run away! Run-
Mike: You did that riff.
Crow: Oh, yeah. Well, it's a classic.

Leon shook his head. Jeez, kids some days.

Servo: Why, in my day, you little whippersnapper...

He walked out of the room after saving his screens and down to the front windows where he watched Nene and Mackie get on their respective vehicles. Leon nodded approvingly. The kid was right, he noted. He did build a really hot bike.

Mike: One word, Crow, and it's no more RAMchips for a month.
Crow: I wasn't going to say it...

Leon frowned suddenly, squinting down into the morning light.

Allegra: He's freaking 'til the morning light!

He didn't recognize the brand, but it really looked really familiar. He tapped the window. Damn. Now he had another thing that would nag him until he remembered it.

Mike (Leon): Are these Anderson windows or something else? Crap...

Leon turned away and started to walk back to his desk.
He was halfway there, when he idly mused, it's not like it could be another Knight Saber motorcycle.

Crow: Nah.
Allegra: I gasp at the thought.
Mike: Of course not.
Servo: If that's a Knight Saber motorcycle, then I'm Eleanor Roosevelt!

Leon stopped so suddenly that an officer behind him almost ran him over.
"Son of a Bitch!" Leon exclaimed.

Servo (officer): Hey, you were the one who hit the brakes! Don't call me names, man!

Without an explanation, he took off running and slid into his desk, leaving a befuddled mass of officers behind him. Leon in a hurry and heading to his office?

Allegra: Mother Gaia, it's the seventh sign!

Daley looked up in surprise. "What's up? Did you just get a breakthrough?"

Servo (Leon): Nah, an original thought!
Crow (Daley): Whoa! Easy now, Leon! Lie down! Take a deep breath!

Leon looked up. "Maybe! Let me dig up some information and I'll let you know!"
Leon started to pull up records from the Griffin case and that last climatic chase. Just as he'd thought, the motorcycle that caught the monster car did look oddly familiar.

Allegra: For our readers not familiar with BGC or non-otaku, I shall elaborate. Ahem. In Episode 4, "Blow Up," a man named Griffin designed and built the DeLorean from hell to revenge himself on a motorcycle gang. Unfortunately, he went a little far and the car was too hot to handle. Luckily, the Knight Sabers came to help, and Priss, riding a motorcycle on steroids, managed to catch up to the aforementioned DeLorean from hell and save the day before the monster car hit a roadblock and blew up. And they all lived happily ever after...or at least until the next episode. Thus endeth the lesson.
(Mike and the Bots clap politely.)

It wasn't the same bike of course. Leon could go downstairs and check out the remains they had found.

Servo: The three screws and two bolts that were left, that is.

Leon tapped his screen for a second. Maybe he'd better check on that first. He had the evidence file pulled up, looking for the remains of that bike. He blinked in surprise when he saw that it had been sold in a police auction... three days after the Griffin incident? "What the hell?" Leon exclaimed softly. No way, that shouldn't have happened.

Mike: And once again, the AD Police's matchless professionalism rears its head!

A bit of poking around and he discovered that a Dr. Raven had purchased the remains. Just one of his many purchases. Just an old junk collector,
Leon mused. Maybe.

Crow: And maybe monkeys will fly out of my butt!

A computer glitch? Not likely, Leon decided.

Allegra: Well, given that Nene was just in the mainframe...

"All right, Mr. Stingray, let's see who you are," Leon said to the screen. He had the name tapped in a short time (all of the names variations)

Allegra: Mack the Knife.
Servo: Mack Truck.
Mike: Big Mack Daddy.
Crow: Mike Nelson.
Mike: What?
Crow: Hee hee...

and his computer searching. These searches could take quite a while.

Servo (Leon): Damn Commodore 64s...

Leon was about to stand up to go get coffee, when the machine beeped at him, asking him if it wanted it to continue searching using the Normal Police's and other external databases.

Crow: Or if he would rather take a hike for wasting the computer's time.

Leon blinked and looked at the screen in surprise. Huh, only three matches, all actually older than the ADP. He almost hit the key to continue, skipping them by, when he opted to look at those records on a hunch.

Allegra: He's acting like a real detective...High Ones...
Servo: Pretty scary, huh?

Leon's eyes widened as the obituary showed on the screen. Katsuhito Stingray? The supposed father of boomer technology, whose body had never been found when his lab burned to the ground?

Crow: The owner of Stingray's Chicken and Ribs Emporium?

His eyes scanned down until he found the highlighted text. Hmm. Survived by two children.
Mackie Stingray and Sylia Stingray.

Mike: Well, not anymore. Just Mackie now.

Mackie had been seven, when his father had died eleven years ago. So that could have been him,
downstairs. He did sort of look like the kid in the picture.
Leon blinked as he stared through the screen.

Allegra: I'd blink too, if I had a transparent screen.

He tapped a pen on his desk. It was an odd link,

Crow: .?

a hundred to one said that it wouldn't pan out. He started to tap on his keyboard, inputting two searches. These would take longer, even with the specific information he now had.
Leon stretched and stood up. He finally went after that coffee.

Allegra: Yeah, it was starting to run away.
Mike: You're reaching, Allegra.
Allegra: Well, c'mon. I'm the newbie here.

By the time he had returned, the information was on the screen. Mostly school records, he noted. Leon whistled as he skimmed them both.

Servo (Leon): Hadn't realized there were so many BGC hentai sites on the net!

Sylia Stingray had graduated top honors from the new MegaTokyo University at the age of nineteen, with a double masters in engineering and robotics/AI. Mackie hadn't been quite academically inclined,

Mike (Mackie): Math is hard!

but he'd gotten good enough marks to win a full scholarship to a prestigious German university, after completing most of his beginning college courses. Before his eighteenth birthday.
Leon scrolled through more data, discovering that Sylia had evidently decided to enter into business for herself, as she owned and operated a lingerie shop not that far away. Leon pursed his lips.

Crow (Leon): Lingerie? Cool!

A double Masters degree and she sells clothes? Something smells fishy, Leon thought to himself.

Allegra (angry): Hey, where I come from, there's PhDs flipping burgers, pal!
Mike: Bitter?
Allegra: A bit.

Leon couldn't help gasping at the latest bit of information as it flashed across the screen.

Mike (Leon): "Leon sucks?" Why you...

Those two kids owned five percent of Genom Corporate's actual stock? That made them beyond rich!

Allegra (Leon): And Nene's turning him down? Hell, I'll marry him!

It was in a trust fund for the younger sibling, until he was twenty-one, but Sylia was supposedly worth in excess of a hundred billion yen.

Servo (Daffy Duck): I'm rich! I'm rich! I'm fabulously well-heeled!

And she only had a two percent share! All tied in with their father's giving Genom the right to build whatever sort of boomers they wanted with his intellectual rights.

Crow: And his right to party.

Leon's mind churned through the information.

Allegra: His brain is like butter, I agree.

He now had several possible links of the two Stingrays connection to Genom, boomers and the Knight Sabers. They even had the resources and the ability to create those hardsuits now. So, along with Priss as a Knight Saber, he could possibly identify the brains and money behind the outfit, also possibly the leader, the White Saber. That left the Green Saber and the Red Saber.

Servo: When did this become Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers?
Mike: He forgot Light Saber and Saber Jet.

Leon leaned back in his chair and propped up his feet on his desk. The Green Saber was some sort of agility and weapons specialist, probably a trained soldier. The Red Saber wasn't much of stand up fighter,

Servo: Or any kind of fighter, for that matter.

but he'd heard some rumors linking her to the destruction of the boomer that had taken over the ADP building, melting it with an electrical surge when it had been ordered to destroy the ADP building. An ugly realization suddenly occurred to him.

Crow: Roseanne naked.
Mike: Urp...that'd do it, all right.

That indicated technical know-how and intimate familiarity with the ADP's systems.

Crow: Or just how to trip a circuit breaker.

Something that Nene Romanov had in spades, a young lady that just happened to know one Mackie Stingray on good terms. A certain Mackie Stingray that was driving the same style motorcycle that Priss had been riding during the Griffin incident.

Servo: Amazing science!

"Nah, couldn't be, could it?" Leon muttered to himself. Inescapably, he found that Nene couldn't be the Red Saber, after all, she worked here quite late most of the time, during quite a few boomer incidents.

Mike (author): Whoops, better backtrack...

Leon had the computers pull up the times that the Knight Sabers had been active and when Nene had been on shift. The computers response indicated that Nene had been on shift at least eight percent of the time.

Crow: Which meant she had NOT been on shift ninety-two percent of the time. See a pattern, Einstein?

Leon sighed and then bit off the breath sharply.

Allegra: Along with his tongue.
Mike: Good. Now he can't talk.

A quick change to the query listed Nene as having been on shift zero percent of the time that the Red Knight Saber had been seen and active. In fact, the Red Saber was most likely of the Knight Sabers to not be there, Leon noted. Just as if she wasn't able to make these impromptu fights like the others.

Servo: That's because Nene actually has a real job.

Leon scowled deeply. Now, what was he supposed to do with his newfound knowledge?

Allegra: Forget it completely, like Vision and Lisa?
Crow: Faaannbooyyy...
Allegra: Rephrase that.
Crow: Er, right. Faaaannngirrrl...
Allegra: Better.

With a chill, Leon realized that he could easily destroy the Knight Sabers. It had been pure happenstance that he'd tumbled on Priss's identity during that 'vampire boomer' incident.

Mike: I was going to say plot contrivance, but happenstance works too...

He was an officer of the law.

Crow: Just like Inspector Clouseau.
Allegra: Matter of fact, the resemblance doesn't end there.

True, the ADP mostly turned a blind eye towards the Knight Sabers, as they did deal with boomers the ADP just wasn't properly equipped to deal with.

Servo: Namely, all of them.

Mason was a slime and his death had been something akin to a duel.
Manslaughter charges could have been brought up against them, but had been deemed, unofficially, by the ADP's lawyers as unreasonable for the lives that would be lost trying to apprehend them. If the Knight Sabers were ever brought in for other crimes, those older charges could always be tacked on top.

Allegra: Since the Knight Sabers do the ADP's job for them, I'd say leave 'em be.

But Leon drew the line at murder. And shooting a kid on a motorcycle with a rocket wasn't just 'defending yourself,' it was excessive use of force. The ADP helicopter had good video of her shooting the victim.

Allegra (fangs coming out): Did they get the fact that she was RUNNING from something? How 'bout the fact that her attackers were armed and trying to run her off a cliff? Huh? Huh?
Mike: Allegra...you're not about to freak out, are you?
Allegra: Snif...no, it's just the fic...
Mike: There, there...have a RAMchip...
Crow and Tom: WHAT?
Allegra: Yuk! This stuff tastes like plastic!
Mike: It is. Sorry. Force of habit.

Clothing and the bike had been found, but only ash residue had been recovered from the scene. The coroner was labeling the incident as anomalous.

Crow: Cause of death was spontaneous combustion.

No body had been found, so no death had been recorded. Ergo,
no death, no murder charges. As of yet.

Mike: It IS the LAPD!

Something stank, Leon surmised. But what was it exactly?

Crow: The burritos you had for lunch.

Leon cleared his computers searches, committing the information to memory as best as possible.

Servo: He forgot it all three seconds later.

Leon suddenly didn't trust his computer quite as much as he used to.

Mike (Leon): They're all against me! But I had 'em with the strawberries!
Crow: Oh, great, Mike. Like anyone's going to get that one.

His paperwork piles had grown over the last hour as he'd sleuthed.

Allegra: Otherwise known as being nosy.

Leon looked over the pile morosely. Damn.
Grinning fiendishly, Leon had an idea occur to him.

Servo (Beavis): Fire! Fire!
Allegra: As long as Crow is around, don't mention fire.

He already knew Priss was a Knight Saber and he know knew that Nene probably was, too.
He could put her in a position where he could watch her. And if he could get her to help with his and Daley's paperwork, that was just all the better.

Crow: And if he could see them in the shower, well, hell yeah!

"Hey, Daley? Are you drowning in paperwork as bad as I am?" Leon asked suddenly.

Allegra (Daley): Glub glub!

Daley massaged his forehead. "Yes, mostly because I have to clean up yours."

Servo: Ouch!
Mike: Score one for the man of alternate sexuality.

Leon looked back over his shoulder. "Yo, Chief! How the hell are Daley and I supposed to do our job when we spend more time filling out forms rather than doing our job?"

Allegra (Chief): I'd answer, but you didn't submit the right form.

Chief Toto glared at Leon.

Crow: That's Tito! Toto was what we ate last night!
Mike: The obligatory "Rush Hour 2" ref, folks.

"That requires a hotshot like you to actually know your job!" He rubbed his bald head aggrievedly. Why did he have to put up with hotheads like Leon?

Servo (Chief Toto): This is the last time I take a non-union job...

Leon slammed his land down on his desk as he stood up. "Just because I don't do the job the way you like it, doesn't mean I don't carry my load!"

Allegra: Um...
Mike: Yeah. We'd better not try that one on.

"Oooooh! If you did your job like I wanted, my blood pressure wouldn't be nearly so high!"

Servo (Chief Toto): And the coffee, bacon, and cigarettes have nothing to do with it!

"So, if I asked you for someone like say Nene Romanov to help out with me and Daley's paperwork so I was out of the office 'working,' you'd say yes?" Leon said with a sudden grin.

All: NO!

Toto looked at Leon long and hard, trying to see if he was trying to pull a fast one.

Crow: Answer hazy, try again.

"This isn't an excuse to get out of doing your paperwork, is it?"
"Nope!" Leon said truthfully. I'm putting her right under my sights so I can keep track of her!
"Hmph. I'll think about it."
Which was Toto-ese for I'll do it in my own good time, Leon thought to himself.

Allegra: Totoese? Is that like Swahili or Maori?
Crow (Greedo): Oota goota, Solo?

-
Nene and Mackie rode the elevator up to the penthouse.

Mike: And now back to our regularly scheduled fanfic...

When they headed to the living room, they found Sylia, Priss and Linna waiting for them.

Servo: With a lead pipe, a candlestick, and a revolver.

Mackie blinked in bafflement, horror crossing his face as he saw Sylia slumped over in her chair, looking deathly pale and not moving. She was wrapped up in a blanket. Priss was standing near her in her hardsuit's inner suit.

Allegra (Priss): It's MY Knight Sabers now, boy! MINE!

Mackie looked at Priss as he trotted over to Sylia.

Crow (Mackie): Lookin' fine...

He gasped as he felt the clammy coldness of her skin as he held her hand. "Sylia!"

Allegra (Sylia): WHAT?

Sylia's eyes opened and her head slowly turned to Mackie. "You're here.
Don't... don't let me go." Her eyes seemed to be reddish, as if something had gotten in them.

Mike: We've secretly switched Sylia's regular eyedrops with model glue. Let's see if she notices.

Priss almost snorted, but held herself back. "All right. We're all here.
So, do you want to tell them, or do you want me to?" Priss said angrily.
Sylia just couldn't muster the courage to tell it herself. "No, you go ahead," she muttered softly. Her eyes closed tiredly.

Allegra (Priss): Sylia and I are engaged.
Mike: No lesbian riffs! You agreed.
Allegra: Ah. Crow and Tom agreed. I said nothing.

Mackie, Nene and Linna looked back and forth in consternation. Mackie had a slightly terrified look on his face.

Servo (Mackie): We're being replaced by Gunsmith Cats?

Priss just looked down on Sylia for a second. "Sylia's dead."

Mike: Oh, that's being specific, Priss.
Servo: Bubblegum Zombie?

The other three people looked at her strangely.

Crow (Mackie): Guess Mom was right. Rock music DOES turn your brain to jello.

Nene finally giggled and then laughed, cutting off abruptly. "Oh, you guys! You're trying to pull my leg again, aren't you?"
Priss just massaged her forehead. "No, I'm not. Sylia's dead and has been for a week. She's one of the living dead, a vampire.

Mike (Priss): Either that, or she's got a touch of the flu.

Just like Dracula."

Allegra: So she's from Transylvania and has a thing for Mina Harker?

Mackie just looked confused. "Vampires don't exist."

(Crow begins to poke Allegra with his beak.)
Allegra: What the hell are you doing?
Crow: Just checking.

It wasn't what he feared.

Mike: What, you thought it was time to change the rods in her reactor or something?

Linna nodded her head in agreement.
"No, she's right. I am a vampire now." Sylia's eyes had opened and she was looking at the group.

Servo (Priss): And since I am, I now command you to forget everything! (pauses) Allegra, vampires can actually do that, right?
Allegra: I forget.
Servo: Smartass.

Mackie suddenly realized what was so odd about her eyes. She had gotten blood into them.

Mike (Mackie): Sis, you have got to swear off the booze.

And her hand was so cold. With a gulp, he turned her hand over, putting his fingers to her wrist. He checked for a pulse for almost a minute. "Sylia? How... is it father's..."
Sylia interrupted him curtly. "No. A vampire did this.

Crow: Well, that makes sense.

He killed me and made me into one of his kind."
Linna concentrated for a second.

Allegra: And it wasn't easy.

"What does your father have to do with vampires, guys? I thought he invented boomers."
Mackie gulped audibly.

All: GULP!

He looked over to Sylia, but she could only return his stare. As if at an unspoken agreement, Mackie turned to the group. "You might want to sit down for this."

Servo (Mackie): It makes it that much easier to hit you.

Priss narrowed her eyes, almost closing them. "What, you're going to tell us you're actually boomers?"

Mike (Mackie): No, our last name is actually Stoker. Our father invented vampires, too.

"We are not boomers!" Mackie shouted, surprising almost everyone. "We were not made!" He clenched his fist unconsciously.

Allegra: Yes you were. I'm sure there was a Mrs. Stingray in the equation somewhere.

"Our father is hardly a saint, but he was a visionary. He dreamed of transforming humans into a higher life form.

Crow: Yeah, so do most kooks.

Much of his research was based on not just recreating the human, but in remaking us. Advancing the human race, so that we had no weakness, no frailties," Sylia said from the couch.

Mike (Mackie): Our father also went by the name of Moreau, by the way.

"But what does this have to do with you two?" Nene asked, looking around at both of them.

Servo: And this from the brightest bulb in the bunch.

Mackie couldn't meet her gaze. He suddenly found the carpet to be extremely interesting.

Mike (Mackie): What weave! I never noticed it was gray, either...

"Son of a bitch... he used his own kids as guinea pigs?" Priss exclaimed in surprise.

Allegra: Ohh...somebody's been reading Adam Warren!
Servo: Yeah, but they implied it in the series, too. Remember Sylia's flashback sequences and Episode Three of "Bubblegum Crash?"
Allegra: Sure, but they never really said it. Warren was the one to actually bring it out in "Grand Mal."
Crow (sighs): Mike, you got a deck of cards?
Dr. F (v.o.): Hey! Knock off the BGC Encounter Group! Get back to reading that fic or it's lights out for Mike and lights on for Allegra!
Allegra: Geez, he's touchy.

Mackie shook his head. "No, not guinea pigs. He'd already fully developed the process. He just inflicted it on us. We didn't even have any idea that he'd done it, really, until he was killed.

Crow (Mackie): Heck, the first time we figured it out was when I set off the airport metal detector and Sylia electrocuted herself in the tub!

I don't even really remember from before, because I was so young."
"I learned in ten minutes more about boomers, hardsuits and his theories than he'd told all of his colleagues combined.

Mike: Wow, Hooked on Phonics really DOES work!

My father's dead hand, pushing me from beyond the grave."

Servo: Mike? I'm scared.
Mike: It's okay. I'm right here.
Crow: Right next to the undead guest we have onboard.
Allegra: I prefer the term "living challenged," thank you.

Sylia was looking at the ceiling.

Allegra (Sylia): Beige. I'll paint it beige.

"His process enhanced our minds, replacing them with molecular computers."

Crow: Bill Gates' wet dream.

Nene looked from Sylia to Mackie, not sure what to think. "So you've been following his plan?"
"I... am not my father.

(Crow, Servo, and Allegra open their mouths.)
Mike: I call no Star Wars refs.
(Crow, Servo, and Allegra close their mouths.)

No. He wanted to spread the change across the whole world. But Genom would pervert those ideas, using it to foster their own power. So we've hidden, trying to check Genom's excesses.
Mason must have uncovered that information to use it to become Largo."
Silence stretched uncomfortably. Mackie looked down at Sylia. "So, what are you doing about this... vampire business, Sis?"

Allegra (Sylia): Oh, that? No big deal.

"I don't know. I was hoping to find out more before he found out that I had survived. He will probably be on his way here tonight, to either kill me or to make me his slave."

Mike: Because Devlin McQueen of the Clan McQueen knows all and sees all.

Sylia had never felt so helpless, her death seemed to be impending and nothing she could do would stop these events.

Crow: Hey, Sylia? Hate to tell you this, but you're already dead.

"I think we might have to argue with him a little bit about that. The Knight Sabers stick together, no matter what." Priss nodded her head once.
Linna concurred, "Me too! I bet this bloodsucker's never met the likes of us before!"
Nene finally nodded. One of the foundations of her life had just shifted under her.

Servo: So? Earthquakes happen all the time in Japan.

-
Rumio whistled tunelessly as she walked along.

(Mike and Allegra grip their ears. Crow and Servo try to.)
Mike (gritting teeth): Turn it off! Turn it off!

She turned down an alley and opened a door hidden behind a dumpster without knocking. "Hey, Star?
You there?"

Crow (Star): Nope.
Allegra (Rumio): Oh, okay. Never mind, then.

A man relaxed, dropping his money back to the table. He pulled out a gun and laid it on the table.

Servo (Star): Stop right there or the money gets it!

He shoved his thick glasses back up his pug nose. "What do you want, Rumio? Trying to give me a heart attack?" he yelled out.

All: HEY STAR! TRYING TO GIVE US RUPTURED EARDRUMS?

Rumio rolled her eyes and headed into the small room that Star was using. The greasy little man might be contemptible, but he knew things that most other people only dreamed of.

Allegra: Like what?
Mike: He knew if OJ really did it, the plot of "Star Wars: Episode Three," and Angelina Jolie's home phone number.
Allegra: Wow!

"What happened to your guards?"
"Stupid idiot got hungry and ran to the corner to get some fast food."
He grumbled something under his breath.

Crow: You know, I always wondered what happened to Jughead after he graduated from Riverdale High...

"You're going to get yourself killed someday, you know that?" She waved off any response he had. "Never mind, I need to know where someone is and I want you to stall anybody else from finding this person for a day."
"That's dangerous. My clients expect truthful and timely information."

Servo (Star): And the public has a right to know!
Allegra: Ah, he's from CNN.

He squinted at her, beady little eyes watching the classically pretty Japanese woman with long hair.

Crow: Long blonde hair and her green eyes.
Allegra: Asian women don't have green eyes!
Crow: Oh, so you've seen "Big Trouble in Little China" too.

"Anything else costs extra, I know, I know!" Rumio lit a cigarette and dragged in a deep breath through it. She blew a small ring of smoke.

Mike: Hey, those things will kill ya, you know.

"Her name is Sylia Stingray. She's into some corporate espionage and gun running. Military grade weapons."

Allegra (Rumio): She's also into hardsuits and lingerie. Wait, that didn't sound right...

"Sounds like a dangerous woman." Star clutched his hands in front of him.
"Yeah, you could say that. But we live in a dangerous world, you know?"

All: "And I live in a material world..."

Star nodded. A dangerous and profitable world. A smile grew on his face.

Servo: Until it popped like a big zit.
Mike: Gross.

-
Rumio stared into the lingerie shop from across the street. This has to be some sort of joke.

Allegra (Rumio): Three million yen for a pair of panties? Come on!

Her attention was jerked to a young man behind the counter. In the distance, it had looked like the Sylia Stingray that Devlin had described.

Crow: If she had had a sex change operation, that is.

Rumio curled her lips in a smile. Perhaps it wasn't such a long shot, after all.

Servo: Have to adjust for wind, though.

Kid brother? Rumio mused. Could be. Her attention was dragged

Mike: Kicking and screaming all the way...

to a red haired young woman who was dressed in some sort of police uniform. The two talked for a little while, until the girl waved goodbye to the boy and walked off towards the parking.
Nene stretched and yawned again as she walked to her scooter in the public garage. Suddenly a presence of a friend struck her, demanding her attention.

Crow: Pow! Hi, I'm a friend!
Servo: Must be a superhero comic.

Nene turned around to see Rumio walking up to her. Rumio waved and said,
"Hello! How're you doing, girlfriend?"

Crow: Mike, we've got to do it.
Mike: You're right. On the count of three...one...two...three...and...
All: WHASSUP?
Crow: Ah...felt good to get that out of the system, didn't it?

Nene found herself waving back. "I'm fine. I was just going to go grab a bite to eat. Want to join me?"

Servo (Nene): Who the hell are you, anyway?

"Sure. How about that little noodle joint right around the corner?"
Rumio inquired.

Allegra (Nene): Akane's Noodle Emporium? I don't want to take my life in my hands, thank you.

"I... guess. I'm just about a regular there, it seems." Nene blinked,
trying to remember that she had been growing tired of the little eatery.
But it felt so remote from herself, unimportant. Bemusedly, she let herself be led off, even though she had wanted to... go home? Change before... work?

Mike: Hey, don't look at us. We just work here.

Nene blinked her eyes tiredly. It had been a great dinner with her old friend Rumio. Imagine that she and Sylia had actually had an old friend in common. Rumio had met her at school, years ago and had lost contact.

Allegra: Damn, Rumio's good. I can't do that.
Crow: That's too bad.
Allegra: Why?
Crow: I was hoping you could erase a little something from my head called "Artemis' Lover"...

Nene looked down at her empty plate morosely. "Wow, I don't even remember eating."

Servo: There's a first.

Rumio's eyes twinkled. "You wouldn't remember your head if it wasn't attached, Nene."

Allegra (Rumio): Watch! chop

Nene pouted. "You're just as bad as Linna and Priss! Everyone is always picking on me!"

Mike: Nene wondered why she was wearing a yellow and black shirt and had a dog named Snoopy.

A couple of the patrons in the small restaurant looked up, smiling at Nene's outburst.

Servo: That Nene! What an idiot!

Realizing that she was being watched,
she blushed in embarrassment.

Allegra (Bugs Bunny): You ever get the feeling you was bein' watched?

"Say! Nene-babe, do you think you help me with a prank?" Rumio asked as she leaned over conspiratorially.
"Oh?"

Crow (Rumio): Yeah! Let's TP Priss' hardsuit!

"Like I said, I haven't seen Sylia in forever and I want to surprise her. How about you sneak me into her apartment so I can really freak her out?" Rumio's eyes twinkled in merriment as she smiled broadly.

Allegra (Nene): How about you kiss my butt and take an hour to draw a crowd?

Nene almost blurted out yes, but some of her caution reasserted itself.
"I... I don't know. Sylia would... be upset at me. I'm not supposed to bring... friends to her place." Bullets of sweat glistened her forehead.

Mike (Nene): And I'm not...supposed to talk like...William Shatner. WHAT have you DONE?

Her smile hardened slightly.

Servo: She uses concrete for lipstick.

Nene acted like an airhead, but she was proving remarkably hard to bend to her will.

Crow: Well, you have to have a brain to work with.

It had been a grueling half an hour to get her to this point. Rumio wished she were better at this.

Allegra: Guess Nene was burning willpower.
Mike: Right, I...huh?

"Don't worry! I'll take the blame for it. I'll say that I talked you into it."
Nene blinked as

Mike: She remembered all those times she had heard that in high school.

Rumio's full mental force pushed her mentality.

Mike: Go ahead, Tom. You've been patient.
Servo (Rumio): I command you to SLEEEP! Thanks, Mike. I feel a lot better now.

"I...I... guess so," Nene said woodenly. A smile lit her face suddenly. "Come on, Sylia will be so happy to meet you after so long!"
Rumio followed Nene outside after paying the bill.

Crow: I guess she's not so bad. She did pick up the tab.

Mentally she rehearsed several courses of actions as they walked back to the Silky Doll.

Allegra: Making Nene do a lot of weird things.

The business had closed, but that didn't stop Nene from accessing the building from the garage. Nene tapped in a code and let her palm print be identified.

Servo (palm reader): I see a lot of violence in your future...

Nene was standing at the front of elevator doors as they swished it open. She blinked in surprise at Sylia and Priss as they pointed handguns towards her from twenty feet away.

Allegra (Sylia): I told you, I don't want your frigging magazines-oh, it's you.

"Nene, get down!" Priss shouted.

Crow: Get funky!

"W-what?" Nene stuttered. She was in the totally wrong mode of thinking and unprepared to fight.

Servo: And...this is new?

Rumio, on the other hand, was completely prepared to fight.

Mike: In fact, she had not yet begun to fight!
Allegra and the Bots: Mike...

The moment the door opened and she'd seen Sylia and the stranger with guns out and ready, she'd reacted.

Crow: She wet her pants and screamed in terror.

Priss saw the stranger literally blur behind Nene, using her as a human shield. She blinked as she realized that the woman had pulled a gun and pointed it at Nene's temple while holding her off the ground with one arm, all in one blindingly fast move.
"Stop! Or I splatter her brains all over this elevator!" Rumio shouted.

Servo: Priss then shot Nene and replied, "Your move, bitch."
Mike: Tom, that's dark.
Servo: No, that's Priss.

Not bad, they'd have only lost one friend to Devlin's group. She bared her fangs to let them know that she was serious.

Crow (Rumio): See, I just got back from the dentist! I fear nothing now!

"What do you want?" Sylia demanded. She was dressed in a snazzy blue dress and white blouse combination, hair perfectly done up as normal.

Servo: Sylia shows off a spring ensemble from Sonoda Versace.

She was bent on one knee awkwardly, both hands holding up the same gun she used to shoot Devlin with last night. It would punch right through both of them, if it came down to it.

Allegra (Johnny Dangerously): This is an 88 Magnum. It shoots through schools.

"I came to talk! I am not here as an enemy!"

Mike: My friends pull guns and lift me off the floor all the time, too.

Nene whimpered and tried to struggle as her mind suddenly cleared. How could she have been so stupid? Vampires really were real!

Allegra: Well, duh! Somebody was out to lunch earlier.

Priss almost growled. What was she supposed to do? She felt so helpless.
"Release Nene and then we'll talk!" Priss shouted back. Maybe they'd be lucky and she'd be reasonable enough to deal with.

Servo: If not, well, they could always find another hacker.

Rumio whispered into Nene's ears, "No sudden moves." She slowly let her down and slowly pulled her arm away while holding the gun up to show that she wasn't going to shoot.

Mike (Rumio): Check it out. Beretta Model Nine. Pretty cool, huh? Got it at a gun show.

Nene plastered herself on the hallway wall,

Allegra (Rumio): Bang! I said no sudden moves!

getting as much out of the crossfire as possible. Her eyes looked left and right as she expected a firefight to start any moment.
Rumio just stood there in her jeans and t-shirt, winter coat open in the front. "Well, are you going to shoot me already?"

Crow: Sure. Fireballs coming online, B.A!

Sylia debated for just a second with herself.

Allegra (The Joker): What? Grease her now? Well, okay...

"No. Why did you come here?" She cradled the big gun.

Servo: Holy cow, it's Megatron!

"You made yourself an enemy last night. Devlin McQueen has claimed your life for attempting to kill him.

Mike (Rumio): Granted, you're already dead and all...

No other vampire will stand in his way.
He's seen to that." Rumio holstered her gun under her coat.
Priss started to take her gun apart and slip it into various places in her leather jacket. Nene released the breath she'd been holding, sagging up against the wall. Maybe if she stayed quiet Sylia wouldn't yell at her for bringing a vampire here. Nene's throat started to itch at the thought of those fangs only a few inches away from her.

Allegra (quickly, as Darth Vader): I'm ALTERING the deal. Pray I don't alter it any further. (to Mike) Hah! Zinged one over on you.
Mike: ...

"And you are just telling me as an act of kindness?" Sylia arched her eyebrow to show her disbelief at that thought.
"Not even! No, I'm here because if I give you a little information,
maybe you can kill him!" Rumio snarled as she clenched fists, her shoulders tight with bent up anger.

Allegra: Rargh! Rumio smash!

Priss was taken back by the shear

Mike: Haircut?

hatred encapsulated in that statement.
"Kill him?"
"Yes, kill him before he kills you! But you won't survive if you don't know how to fight," Rumio replied, visibly gaining control of herself.
"How much of being a vampire do you know?"

Allegra: A lot more than you do, childe. Oh, you meant Sylia.
Mike: You're a little weird, Allegra.
Allegra: At least I didn't break the Hubble.
Mike (shocked): How did you...
Allegra: Hee hee.

"Almost nothing. I know that sunlight burns and that I need to drink blood. I have fangs and I seem to be a bit stronger and faster. But that is all," Sylia responded slowly.

Crow (Rumio): Er...well, actually, that's all you need to know.

"So you don't even know of the secrets within your blood, your vitae?"

Mike and the Bots: Your what?
Allegra: Vitae. Latin for "blood." I thought you guys were bilingual.
Crow: No way, lady! We love women and that's all!
Allegra: 0_o

Rumio couldn't believe this, she was lucky to even be alive. She noted Sylia incredibly pale skin. "When was the last time you fed?"

Mike (looking at Allegra): Good question.

"What? Six, no seven nights ago.

Servo: Starring Harrison Ford and Anne Heche.

When I first awoke, I was attacked by a street thug. He was going to kill or worse. I was forced to kill him and I fed. I drained him of all of his blood and then burned his body."
Sylia's face went flat

Mike: Oh, man, not again!
Servo: Should we haul out the Robot Repair Kit (r)?

as she tried to control those roiling feelings of disgust with herself.

Crow (Sylia): Gonna...hurl...

"And you haven't fed since? You're lucky that you aren't a raving monster that's killed all of your friends! You must feed!" Rumio burst out in shock.

(Mike and Crow move a little further away from Allegra.)
Allegra: Guys, I told you, I fed just before Frank kidnapped me!
Crow: That's your story.

"Who am I to say who lives and dies? I couldn't stop myself!" Sylia turned suddenly and walked around the corner and into the living room.

Crow: She's going to go pout now.

Rumio, Nene and Priss all followed quickly. They sat down immediately,
Nene and Priss unconsciously sitting nearer to Sylia.

Servo (Priss and/or Nene): Oh, dark mistress! Let us serve you!

"Fool! Feeding does not have to kill the victim, unless you have no control!" Rumio declared as she sat down across from Sylia.

Mike (looking at Allegra): True?
Allegra: Yep.
Mike: Whew.
Allegra: Except when I lose it.
Mike: ...

"I just couldn't stop myself! I drank every last drop within him."

Crow: Humans! Good to the last drop!

Sylia paused to take a breath. "Vile! It should not been so good! Tasted so sweet!" Sylia spat out vehemently.

Servo: And suddenly Sylia was written by Shakespeare.

Suddenly she curled herself up, hands covering her face. But tears would not come anymore.
"Yes. It is. The blood calls to us, because without it, we are nothing but ash in the wind."

All: "Duuust in the wind...all we are is dust in the wind..."

Rumio looked at Sylia with a sad smile. "You must feed or you will fall into a sleep that might last centuries.

Allegra: Only if her Humanity is pretty low.
Mike (not sure what she's talking about, but going along with it): How high is your Humanity?
Allegra: Well, let's just say that if I fell asleep like that, I'd be able to rent all nine episodes of "Star Wars" in the bargain bin section.
Servo: My gawd, Mike! That's eternity! She's a demon!
Allegra: Well, yeah, but I'm working on it!

Or become a ravening monster." In her mind, she was thinking of where to go to feed her.

Crow: It's dollar night at Hardee's.

Priss spoke up suddenly. "She can take just a little, right?" This was insane, she didn't want to go back down that road.

Servo: I think Priss went down the insanity road a long time ago.

Liar, she said to herself. A part of her, deeply repressed, remembered the ecstasy of being fed upon. It had been terrifyingly scary and intensely euphoric at the same time. It had been one of the few good feelings that she could remember from that horrific time after the second Kanto Earthquake, after her family had been killed and she'd been so alone.

Servo: Da' hell?
Allegra: Did we miss a chapter?
Mike: If we did, Dr. F will just find it and send it to us later.

Nene blinked in confusion. What was Priss driving at?

Crow: Knowing Priss, probably a brick wall.

Sylia looked up at Priss in horror. "No. I won't do that to you!" she said, jumping to the correct conclusion.
Priss snorted. "What's the big deal? It's like donating blood. You take just a little and I get to eat steaks for a week." Priss smiled rakishly. "You are going to buy me a steak dinner or two, aren't you?"
Indecision warred on Sylia's face as she tried to find some reason not too take Priss up on her offer.

Mike: The price of steaks comes to mind.

Rumio nodded and spoke up, "You will try harder to stop and she won't struggle. It's better all around as a solution for the moment."
Nene had grown quite pale. "If she doesn't feed, you said she'd become a monster. How can you be worse than a vampire?" she asked timidly.

Crow: Easy. Be Sailor Moon in a tentacle fic.

Rumio stared down her nose at Nene. "She'll become little better than a rabid animal, attacking and feeding on anything that comes near her."

Mike: Oh, she'll be like Microsoft, then.

Nene shuddered under that gaze.
Priss stood up and shed her jacket. "So it's settled. And with Rumio here, she can pull you off if you don't stop."

Crow: Um, Mike? May I?
Mike: No, Crow! I don't want you going off on a binge.
Crow: You're right. sigh

Priss sat on the small couch next to Sylia, offering her wrist, oddly enough.

Allegra: What part did you expect?
Crow: Mike, she's not helping!

Sylia stared at the arm in front of her as if it were a viper. Priss watched in fascination as fangs unsheathe in Sylia's half opened mouth.
Moving slowly, as if afraid to act, Sylia brought the wrist up mouth.
With bared teeth, she bit down suddenly. Her lips gathered around the flowing blood, greedily suckling it.

Servo (Sylia): Mmm! AB negative!

Rumio watched dispassionately. "Once your done, lick the bite and it will heal instantly."

Crow (Rumio): I hope.
Allegra: Hmm...when I get back down, I need to find this author. Somebody's been talking...I bet it was that bastard Lestat again...

Sylia nodded as she felt vigor and energy flow back into her.

Crow: Pull out, Sylia! You've hit an artery!
Mike: Our homage to Mike Larson, folks.

It was easier this time to fight the urge to keep feeding and feeding, draining Priss until she was dry.

Mike: Mainly because of what was in Priss' blood...whew.

Nene's stomach roiled and she felt faint. A chill ran up her back as she finally took note of Priss's face. She'd seen that look on druggies,
when she'd ran away from her parents home and lived on the street for a few scary weeks. Rapture, bliss, all rolled in one.

Servo (Priss): Oh, wow. I AM Metaluma!

Sylia released her bite from Priss, holding the hand and examining the skin. It appeared unblemished, only a smudge of red blood coating the surface. "How odd."

Allegra: Hey, Sylia? Better lick that before Priss bleeds to death.

"It makes it easier to feed. Luckily for us, the feeding is not unpleasant for the victim. In fact, many find it enjoyable," Rumio watched Priss recovering her wits and glanced slyly at the red head. An odd smile flashed briefly on her. "And you, Nene-babe? Will you feed your friend so she doesn't have to hunt in the dangerous night?"

Mike: Right.
Crow: And the fic suddenly takes a left turn into Hentailand.

Nene's eyes widened at the question. "Ah. I guess, uh, if Sylia needs to." Sylia opened her mouth to nay say that, when Rumio talked right over her. "Most vampires feed nightly merely to survive. Sylia has been starving herself for over a week and needs to make up for that."

Servo: Rumio's enjoying this way too much.
Allegra: And before you ask, Mike, that's bull. Anyway, I'm on a diet.

"O-okay." Nene let Sylia feed on her with little fanfare. Nene's wits were shaken by the pleasure racking her.

Mike: That sentence is just disturbing.

As Sylia fed, Rumio spoke up. "Now for the reason that I came. Devlin is going to come for you. You should be prepared to try and kill him tomorrow night."

Crow: Unless he decides to come tonight. Then you're screwed.
Allegra: How does Devlin know where Sylia lives? For that matter, how did Star?
Servo: She must be in the book. Either that, or the big neon sign that says "Knight Sabers" on the roof was a giveaway.

As Sylia finished, she gave Rumio a hard look. "I understand. Why do you want him dead? Explain that before I'll agree to anything else." Her skin had taken a slight blush, looking almost alive.

Servo: Hey, for Sylia that's a deep tan.

Nene just sat kind of sat there woozily,

Crow: Apparently Nene isn't the only one who's woozy.

an odd smile fading off of her face.

Allegra (Nene): Whee! I'm on tap!

Rumio countenance changed from fear to irritation to anger almost instantly.

Mike: Wow.
Crow: She should go into acting.

"He killed the only person I cared about and did it without a thought or care. We're related, in an odd way, Sylia Stingray. My sire was created by Devlin, you see. And when he dared to stand up against him, Devlin killed him. Luckily, Devlin doesn't know that I am his grandchild, so to speak."

Servo: You're right; that's odd!

Sylia blinked in surprise.

Allegra: Lot of that going around tonight.

"Ah. You said you would tell me of his strengths, weaknesses."

Crow: Expiration date.

Rumio smirked. "I did, didn't I?

Servo (Rumio): I lied!

Devlin's almost seven hundred years old.

Mike: How old are you, Allegra?
Allegra: Twenty-six.
Mike: In human years.
Allegra: Do I look like a dog? Twenty-six!

He's got a slew of mind powers that just won't quit and he's fast enough to take down a normal street car. He's also strong enough to probably lift that car and toss it easily."

Crow (Rumio): But only if it's a Yugo.

Priss whistled appreciatively. Rumio nodded acknowledgement to the implied respect. "He's no ancient vampire though, no matter his wish.
Sunlight and fire still burns. And if you take his head he will die!

Mike: That works with most creatures, I understand.

A stake through the heart will paralyze him, just as it will with any vampire.

(Everyone looks at Allegra thoughtfully.)
Allegra: Don't even think about it.

Inflicting massive damage will drop him into torpor, a coma-
like state."

Servo: Big deal. Fanfics do the same to us.

"Hmm. He seems to be a very hands on person." Sylia drummed her fingers absently.
Rumio nodded. "Yeah, he'll kill you with his own hands. You're right about that."

Allegra (Sylia): That's not what I mean, wink, wink, nudge, nudge.
Mike and the Bots: SAY NO MORE!

Sylia smiled grimly. "He'll try. Will he accept a challenge? For one on one combat?"

Crow (Rumio): Yeah, but he'll cheat!

"Yeah, he will, but it's your funeral.

Mike: Well, Sylia never did get one.

He'll rip you apart like a piece of paper in a shredder. You haven't even mastered the ability to speed your actions beyond that of a mortal."

Allegra (Sylia): Two words, Rumio: Plasma Cannon.

Priss suddenly grinned. Then she turned somber as something occurred to her.

Servo (Priss): Am I in your will, Sylia?

"Are you sure you want to do that, Sylia?"
Sylia's eyes narrowed dangerously. "They can obviously find me. I want to put the fight on my terms. And I don't want to put all of my friends in unreasonable danger."

Servo (Sylia): I mean, it's not like I do that normally or anything.

Sylia stood up gracefully. "Rumio, I want you to let Devlin know that I wish to fight him one on one in what is known as No-man's Land in the Canyons."

Allegra (Maximus): My name is Gladiator.

Rumio just sneered. "It that's the way you want to go, be my guest. I'll be sure to let your brother know, so he can bury your remains."

Mike: She's real confident about Sylia killing Devlin, isn't she?

"Mackie will know what I'm doing." Sylia looked as unconcerned as a cat sunning on a summer day.

Allegra (Sylia): Me, on the other hand...

Unnerved by the unswerving decision and the looks of understanding from her friends,

Servo: Unknowingly unable to unbend from using "un" prefixed words...

Rumio just nodded. She stood up and bowed slightly and then walked to the elevator.

Crow (Rumio): Transporter room, deck nine.

After she was gone, Sylia spoke up. "Nene, I'm going to need your help in setting up some things. You'll have to call in sick.

Mike: Which won't cause any suspicion at all.

Priss," she said, turning to the singer, "I'm going to need your help too.

Servo (Sylia): Your singing should demoralize the hell out of him!

There are some things that I'm going to need before the end of the day."

Allegra (Sylia): I mean, look at my hair! And my nails will never, never do. And I can't just wear these old rags out, can I?

Both girls nodded and replied in unison, "Yes!"

All: Mistress!
Mike: All this talk about feeding makes me hungry. Let's grab a snack.
(Door sequence, et al.)

Mike walked onto the bridge munching on a banana. "Nelson!" a voice shouted. Mike nearly choked when he saw Dr. Forrester standing in front of him, solid as life. "Why aren't you in that theater? Did I say you could take a break? Huh? Answer me!"
Mike began stammering an explanation, and then realized that there was distinctly familiar tittering coming from behind the console, and that Forrester's voice sounded a little strange. "All right, what's going on?"
Forrester turned and faced the console. "Dammit, guys! You ruined it! I had him going!" Mike's eyes widened, because although every sense he had told him it was Dr. Forrester standing in front of him, it was Allegra's voice.
Tom floated into sight, quickly followed by Crow, both stifling snickers without much success. The green image of Forrester faded to be replaced by Allegra. "Hi, Mike," she grinned. "Did I scare you?"
"Nah, I knew it was you," Mike lied, glancing at his watch and wondering how soon the SOL would cross Earth's terminator and be in daylight.
"Liar!" shouted the 'bots.
Mike ignored them. "Which one of them put you up to it?" he asked Allegra.
Allegra shrugged. "Well, Tom was curious as to what all vampires could do, so I thought I'd show him."
"Do some more!" Crow said. "Mike, you should see her do Elvira! It's like having the Mistress of the Dark right here!"
Mike could think of better impressions Allegra could do, but he didn't feel like sharing them. Allegra shook her head. "I'm sorry, guys. That really takes a lot out of me. Here, check this out. You guys remember Bram Stoker's Dracula?"
"The one with Keanu Reeves? Bleah," Tom grumbled.
"Cute babes, though," Crow put in.
"Watch." Allegra leaned forward, hands outstretched. Her shadow followed her motion, but it also stretched further out, reaching for Mike, who took a step back. "Uh, Allegra..."
"Relax, Mike. I can just do scary things. My shadow can't actually hurt you...at least, not like that. Or how about this? I'm really fast." She returned to a neutral position. "Can I have some of your banana? Don't read anything into that, either."
"Sure." Allegra didn't move. "You can have some," Mike repeated.
"Already did. Or rather Crow did." She glanced over, and Crow held a bit of Mike's banana. "Whoa..." Crow said. Mike saw that half his banana was gone.
"Do more! Do more!" Tom said. "Make Mike think he's a monkey!"
"Hey!" Mike protested. "Since when am I the straight man?"
"Since her magic doesn't work on us, fleshy," Crow chuckled evilly. Then he remembered. "Well, not the mental stuff, anyway."
"I can't do that," Allegra sighed. "But watch this. Mike, you got a spare jumpsuit?"
"Yeah, plenty," Mike groused. "Why?"
"I know you don't scare easy, so..." Allegra closed her eyes, looked down, and suddenly, with a growl, seemed to melt and flow into a new shape that scraped the ceiling, a half-woman, half-wolf form covered in black and white fur, with eight-inch fangs and claws. Her bulk nearly filled the bridge, and Mike and the Bots shrank back against a bulkhead. Mike's fist involuntarily closed around the banana and crushed it to a pulpy mess.
"Kewl..." Tom whispered. Crow could only nod.
Allegra-at least they assumed it was still her-bent down and sniffed at them, grinning savagely. "Rrrf. You like?"
Mike found his voice. "I never knew vampires could do that."
"Where's Roger Corman when you need him?" Tom said. "We could make millions!" Allegra's massive paw closed on Tom's dome and she shook a finger at him Twilight Zone-style. Her tail wagged in amusement.
Allegra pointed at herself. "Werewolf as well as vampire."
Crow shook his head. "Allegra, you ever heard of a girl named Marissa..."
Allegra let go of Tom and pushed back as far as she could, then slowly shrank back to normal size, clutching the ruined jumpsuit in front of her. "Neat, huh? One of the few advantages of my, um, condition." She shivered, which was not to be wondered at, since the ripped shreds were the only covering she had. "Mike, you want to get that jumpsuit?"
"Uh..." Mike shook his head and turned away. "Uh, sure. I'll go and get that-"
Predictably, the lights and alarms went off. "WE'VE GOT FANFIC SIIIIGGGNNN!" Mike and the Bots shouted and ran for the theater, leaving Allegra.
"Hey, guys! Can you...can you get that jumpsuit first? Guys? C'mon, guys! Ooohhh..." Careful to keep herself mostly covered, she edged towards the theater.
(Door sequence, etc. etc.)

(Mike and the Bots are in their normal places. Allegra shows up a minute later, wearing a fresh jumpsuit.)
Allegra: Thanks for leaving me naked and alone on the bridge! It's a good thing Gypsy was there and I don't have to breathe oxygen!
Mike: Hey, we didn't ask you to wolf out.
Allegra: Growf...

Priss adjusted the engine on her big red bike.

Crow: See Priss adjust. Adjust, Priss, adjust.

Stopping for a moment, she adjusted the lamp to shine in better. She wiped her greasy fingers on the towel on her shoulder. She reached in her jump suit's pocket for another tool.
"Um, Priss?" Nene asked as she walked up.
Priss grunted an acknowledgement.

Servo: Urgh. Me Priss. You Nene.

Stupid engine wasn't giving its best output. She'd have to drive it out Doc's later. After she napped out.

Allegra: Aww, Prissy-poo needs to take a nappie.
Mike: First the big red bike, then the nap comment. This is turning into Romper Room with guns.

Damn, I'm turning into just as bad a night owl as Sylia, Priss thought to herself.

Crow: Who?
Allegra: Priss.
Crow: Who? Who?
Mike: Funny, Crow.
Allegra: Shouldn't a crow make "Eek! Eek!" sounds?
Crow: Hee hee...hey!

"Did you... No, you knew what it would feel like! How? Why?" Nene's hand drifted to her throat.

Allegra: It's a good thing you called no lesbian riffs, Mike. Otherwise we'd be making a few.
Mike: I think ahead.

"Go away, Nene." Priss stoically ignored the girl.
"No! I think I deserve to know! I saw you're face, before Sylia bit you.
You knew that it was going to feel... good. How?"

Allegra: She looked blissful BEFORE Sylia bit her?
Servo: Well, you know...it's the anticipation.

Nene set her shoulder, an almost cute expression of determination on her face.

Crow (Nene): Or I'll hold my breath until I turn blue!

Priss's jaw muscle worked.

Mike: Sure hope so. Otherwise she couldn't talk.
Tom: So what's the problem with that?

"Yeah, I knew."
Nene stood watching expectantly. "You wanted it, didn't you?" Nene accused.

Allegra: Accuse!
Tom: Defend!
Mike: Objection, Your Honor! The defense is leading the witness!

Priss slammed the wrench into the tool box while jumping to her feet.
Two quick steps had her towering over Nene. "Yes, I knew it would feel good. And yes, I wanted it. What do you want to make of it?"

Crow: Whoa! Play nice, ladies.
Tom: Rrowr! Ffft!

Nene had never quite had the feeling of impending violence come from Priss be directed at her.

Allegra: I think Priss sort of projects that 24-7 to everybody.

She flinched and the stood up straight. "It's wrong! You're acting like its some sort of addiction!"
Priss glared at Nene. She grabbed the front of Nene's blouse,

Crow: Hey, Mike, Dr. F changed the fic on us! We've got hentai sign!
Mike: Just hold on, Crow.

dragging her up to glare at her, eye to eye. "Don't you dare pull that holier than thou, attitude shit, Miss Snitch. We aren't the white hats in some kids fairytale. You aren't some pure as snow princess. You know how good it felt. It's better than sex. You want it right now, don't you?

Mike: Crow, you may be right...
Crow: Neat. Er, I mean, too bad.

Now imagine that you'd been fed off of for months and it was the only thing that made you feel good?" Priss released Nene, letting her step back in fear. "Yeah, it was addictive. So what?"

Servo (Priss): And cigarettes aren't addictive either! I can quit anytime I want!

"And you knew it was addictive and let her... had me... Months? You've known about vampires for that long?" Nene squeaked out.

Allegra: Nene! The Mouse.

Priss snorted in disgust.

Mike: Oh, great. Now Priss is doing coke as well as vampires.

"I was fourteen, Nene. Remember a little thing called the Second Kanto Earthquake?
It left a lot of kids homeless and orphans. Easy prey for things in the dark, when you're just trying to live. And keep away from the cops and teachers."

Servo: Yeah, I mean, why stay around people that might help you?
Crow: It's like Stephen King writing "Recess."

An expression of pain crossed her face. "There was a woman, a vampire, that protected a lot of us. Kept the gangs away from us. And kept other things away too. All she asked for was a little blood, maybe once a week at the most. And the Kiss, its like a hit of a drug like you've never felt before. It wasn't a bad life."

Allegra (Daffy Duck): Eh! It's a living.

"Oh." Nene looked shocked.

Mike: Get your hands of the battery cables, Nene.

"She warned me about the other vampires, how they'd just make people disappear. A lot of my friends thought she was joking, until that last night, when one of them showed up to kill all of us." Priss balled up her fist and slammed it into the bike's armor. "Nancy must have learned about it, because she showed up and they fought. Nancy beat him in the end, but she lost it."

Servo: She beat him...but...she lost...but...but...
Mike: Stay cool, Tommy.

Priss flexed her hand, unconsciously making sure she hadn't hurt it too bad.

Allegra (Priss): Well, what do you know? I broke the damn thing!

"Rumio wasn't lying, Nene. Nancy became a monster, feeding off him and then the last girl, other than me, because of her hunger."
"I, I'm sorry Priss. I didn't know." Nene felt like a heel, smaller than an inchworm.

Crow: Sterrrnnn? He's nothing but a low down, scum-sucking worrrmm!

Priss didn't even seem to notice Nene.

Servo: Nene gets that a lot.

"She came out of it and saw what she'd done. Vampires cry blood tears, you know.

Mike and the Bots: WE KNOW.
Allegra: Hey, guys, take it easy...

She cried as she held me. And when dawn came, she let it burn her to ash."

Allegra: Ouchie!
Crow: Just remember that, missy.
Allegra: Big whoop. I've been taking shots for that.

Nene put her hand over Priss's. "I'm sorry, Priss. I didn't know."
Priss stared down at the small hand as if it were a viper. "My friends all die, you know? Eventually. Remember Sylvie?"

Servo: Which one? The Sylia Sylvie or the Sexaroid 33-S?
Crow: Fanboy.

"Bull! We've been your friends for years!" Nene said with feeling.

Allegra (Priss): Yes, I know. Mwah ha ha...

"And we'll pull through this too!"
"Nene, Sylia's dead. She's one of them. It's happening all over again."
Priss's voice sounded so hollow, so devoid of any feeling.

Mike: She's going into grunge rock now.

"We're the Knight Sabers!

Allegra: Oh, PLEASE don't let them break into song at this point...

You don't see Sylia just waiting for this guy to kill her. She's going to fight." Nene turned and started to walk away. "I'm going to fight too."

Servo: For once.

Priss stared at her as she walked off. She chuckled after a moment.
"Thanks, Nene. I guess I needed that."

Crow (Nene): Well, Linna suggested the two-by-four, but I thought I'd trying talking to you first.

Nene smiled brightly. "That's what friends are for."

All: "That's what friends are for..."

Priss got a grin on her suddenly.

Allegra: Ew. Talk about needing some shots...

"Hey! Nene! Remember what I said about you not being some pure princess?"
Nene stopped at the door to the garage, turning back. "Yeah?"

Crow (Priss): It was absolutely true!

"Isn't Mackie up right now?"
"Um, yes. I think so."
"So what are you doing down here?" Priss asked innocently.
"What? You want me to... with him?" Nene blurted out in shock. "I don't know if I'm ready for that!"

Mike (Nene): I mean, Mlle. Bornes means...responsibility! And commitment!
Servo (Nene): And I draw the line at strapping cinnamon rolls to my head!

"You might not get another chance. And besides, he might try running away again." Priss turned away to hide her smile.

Crow (Priss): In which case, you'll have to tie him down first!
Mike: I'd say something, but that's probably in character for Priss.

"Oh!" Nene fled, a blush covering her entire face.

Allegra: They've got medicine for that, y'know.

-
Leon quietly cleaned his revolver, polishing it until it shown.

Mike: Oh, so that's what the kids are calling it these days.

Something was up with the Knight Sabers. Priss hadn't shown up to do her show last night. Nene had skipped work last night and then called in sick at the last moment, again. And Sylia's place was locked down tighter than the Imperial Palace.

Allegra: Y'know, there's a reason why it's called a "secret" identity.

And the last time that there had been problems that the Knight Sabers had been involved in, someone nearly blew up the ADP. The time before that, they managed to blow up an artificial island. The time before that they stopped a maniac after he killed almost a million people.

Servo: A quick recap of the BGC series, folks.
Crow: Either that, or urban renewal.

Leon's nose was almost twitching.

Mike: Don Knotts IS Leon McNichol.
Allegra: Now THAT'S scary.

"Hey, Chief! I'm going to go patrolling in one of the choppers. When Daley gets here, tell him I'll be back in the morning bright and early to work on that Jiang case."
Leon hopped to his feet and grabbed his jacket.
Chief Toto looked up in surprise from his coffee. "What?"

Servo (Toto): My heavens, Leon's working! I'm not sure I'm ready for that!

He almost called out after him, but Leon was far gone.

Crow: You're telling us.

Leon zipped up his jacket as he stepped onto the roof.

Mike (Leon): Aura of Smooth...Activate!

He nodded in thought as he saw them loading up the large patrol helicopter with a K-
suit.

Servo: Whoa, Leon! Bad idea, man. Every time you get into one of those you get your ass kicked!

The Chief would yell and scream at him later, but it wouldn't make it into his record unless he screwed up really bad.

Allegra: Of course, Leon's record was by now the same length as "War and Peace."

Though he had had to talk to accounting after the he trashed his second K-suit. Leon slid his glasses on and boarded the helicopter.
The pilot looked over at Leon. "I'm not going to get in trouble with this, am I?"

Crow (Leon): Nah, you're gonna get killed!

Leon had the decency to look offended. "What?"
"You're going to trash another suit aren't you?" he accused the detective.

Mike: Your tax dollars at work, ladies and gentlemen.

"I have no idea what you are talking about," Leon said, leaning back in his seat in preparation for a nap. He opened one eye. "Aren't we supposed to be going on patrol?"
The pilot rolled his eyes. "Yes, sir."

Servo (pilot): Yes, sir, yes, sir, three bags full, sir...

-
Devlin McQueen walked confidently into the blasted ruins of the canyons.
His light sensitive eyes took in the entire area.

Allegra: Vampires are sort of all-over light sensitive, actually.

On the top of a two buildings, two of his shadows drifted into place.

Crow: Hey, Allegra, he's doing the same thing you did!
Allegra: Grrr...everyone's always stealing my schtick.

Devlin couldn't see anything incongruous, or out of place. Would Sylia actually fight him?
Or was she taking this opportunity to try and flee to some safe haven?

Allegra: Or maybe she's using her brains and is waiting to ambush you?

Behind him, another shadow moved, hiding itself from view.
Devlin snorted. He hadn't seen a real warrior born in almost a centaury.
Mankind had become coddled, weak.

Crow: And fat and lazy!

Depending on boomers to fight their wars. Although, even he could find uses for these interesting toys.

Servo: Yeah, interesting like Chuckie.

Several thousand feet away, his ears picked up the roar of a very large engine. Turning, he saw a motorcycle rolling slowly into view. The red paint almost glowed with the moonlight on it. The figure on it seemed to be almost a shadow, rippling blackness shrouded it.

(Everyone whistles the theme to "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.")

"My, my, Sylia. You do seem to like your toys. I thought you might do something like this, so I brought my own along this time."

Allegra: Well. There's a loaded statement.

Devlin toggled a switch on his watch. His massive form was covered in a large black trench coat, suspicious bulges evident. The wind blew through his hair.

Crow: It was a dark and stormy night.

Sylia frowned in thought in her hardsuit. What was he talking about? Her HUD suddenly flashed a warning, directing her to look to her left.

Servo (HUD): Hey, stupid! Look out!

Thundering around the corner on its jets, a blue gray boomer opened its mouth wide, firing its mouth cannon.

Mike: Talk about bad breath.

Reacting instantly, Sylia leaped off the back of the bike, landing lightly thirty feet away.

(Everyone holds up signs: Mike's reads 9.0, Servo's 8.7, Allegra's 8.9, Crow's 6.7. Like you didn't see that one coming a mile off.)
Mike: Crow...
Crow: Hey, somebody's got to be the Russian judge.

The bike fell over, deeply scored by the laser blast to its side.

Servo: Considering that most things explode into smithereens when hit by a mouth cannon, that's not bad.

"Damn!" Sylia muttered as she looked over her shoulder.
The boomer's sensor played out, trying to get a decent lock on the black figure in front of it. Needle actuators around its eyes moved back and forth. It landed on the ground, approaching the figure carefully.
Devlin frowned as he started to walk towards the fight. Something about this just didn't seem right. She was taller than he remembered.

Mike: It's the heels, buddy.

Sylia upped the stakes, bringing her palm particle beam blaster into play, peppering the unsuspecting boomer, gouging into its chest and shoulder.

Crow: IBM's Palm Pilot 2030. Annihilate enemies and keep track of your schedule, all at the same time!

The boomer launched itself at her, going for a quick kill.

Servo: More points that way.

Threat analysis changed upwards for the figure in front of it, change to at least as dangerous as itself. It seemed to just stand still, until at the last moment it leaped up and over him.

Allegra: Ah, the classic Sylia "Jump Over Its Head" defensive manuever.
Mike: Don't gripe; it works.

The boomer's shoulder disintegrated from a punch, making it roar in anger.
Devlin's eyes narrowed as he saw metal wing-like protruding out of her back. As she landed behind the boomer, they folded out of sight. "A hardsuit? Or her own boomer?"

Allegra: SOMEbody didn't do his homework.

The BU-55c decided to up the ante as it spun around.

Mike (boomer): I'll see your six and raise you five!

Chest plates and shoulder pads moved to the side as a wash of heat, brilliant red, strove to strike the dodging figure. The black cloth-like substance on the outside of her armor ignited from the near strike, burning merrily.

Allegra (Sylia): Yee-ha! I'm on fire and roasting alive!

The boomer stepped back in almost awe. Devlin's eyes widened from the shadows. "A Knight Saber! Hiring them was a cunning move, Sylia!" Devlin muttered to himself.

Servo: So much for Mr. "He Knows All And Sees All" McQueen.

Sylia ignored the burning remains of her stealth sheathe, dashing forward as her blades snapped into place. White light glimmered brightly from them.

Crow (Gremlin): Bright light! Bright light!

The boomer lashed out in a powerful one-two combo, trying to keep her as far away as possible.

Mike: Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee!

The white Knight Saber dodged both blows while leaping over it again.
She gouged its back, the boomers armor managing to somewhat protect it.
She ducked under its lethal backhand that smashed a light pole.

(Mike and Allegra have hauled out Nintendo controllers)
Allegra: Hah! Take that, Mike!
Mike: Oh yeah? Take this!

Her left blade retracted abruptly as she stepped within its reach and hit the boomer's head with an uppercut, triggering her knuckle bombers.

Mike: Combo move!

Their armor piercing capabilities sundered the boomers head from its shoulder,
gore flying for feet.

Crow: K.O.!
Mike: Woo-hoo!
Allegra: Darn it. Last time I take THAT character.

Before it could react to the loss, Sylia shoved her right blade deep into its chest, where she knew its backup AI was hidden. With a groan of metal and the breaking of concrete, the boomer collapsed on it front.

Crow: Fatality.
Servo: Flawless Victory.

"Bravo, bravo." Devlin clapped his hands. Poised to flee at the first sign of her attack, he quipped, "But I thought this was supposed to be a fight between Sylia Stingray and myself?"

Servo: Kids? Can you spell "moron"? I knew you could!

Sylia wanted nothing more than to wipe that smug smile off his face,

Allegra: Go for it! Use the particle beam, that should do the trick.

but she had to respond, lest other vampires seek her friends out in revenge.
She raised the visor of her helmet. "Yes, it is, isn't it, Devlin McQueen?"

Servo (Gomer Pyle) Sur-prise, sur-prise, sur-prise!

Devlin's eyes widened in surprise. "You know, in retrospect, that makes perfect sense. So, you are the leader of the Knight Sabers."
Her face held her steely determination. "I'm here to kill you for what you did to me."

Crow: I will kill you until you die from it!

"I'm wounded.

Allegra: Really? Even better.

Here I have given you the ultimate gift, eternal life, for the mere pittance of your human scruples," Devlin said, grinning. His trench coat was loosened now, guns and other ordinance visible. "Or are you upset at not being 'human' anymore?"

Servo: Humans are overrated anyway.
Mike: Hey!

Both of Sylia's blades snapped into place with a metallic

Allegra: Snikt!
Mike: Lawsuit!

'jing' sound. "I have not been fully human since I was seven. No, I will kill you because you made me a monster and took my life."

Allegra (Sylia): And now you will answer for your unspeakable crimes!
Mike (Devlin): Which crimes were those?
Allegra (Sylia): If I told you, they wouldn't be unspeakable!

Sylia suddenly dashed at her full speed, her backpack rocketing her towards the vampire.
Devlin sidestepped the attack as if she was a clumsy rookie.

Crow: D'oh!

As the armored figure skidded to a halt, Devlin had pulled out two guns and had peppered her back with shots. He didn't seem surprised at the lack of damage, as he dropped his guns immediately after emptying the clips.

Servo (Devlin): Neo ain't got nothin' on me.

Sylia snapped off some of her own shots with her palm blasters. She blinked in awe as she saw him lean out of the way of each shot, left and then right, completely at ease.

Allegra: Time out! Vampires are fast, but I've yet to see one faster than the speed of light!
Mike: Allegra, I told you...
Allegra: Right, right. Don't hurt myself.

As the last shot faded into darkness, he dashed forward and planted a strong punch to her face, rocking her backwards.

Mike (picking up Nintendo pad): Whoops. Better concentrate on my game.

Devlin stared at his fist in frustration. He'd barely dimpled that armor.

Crow: Well, duh. That's why it's called armor.

Sylia shook her head to clear it. Only ten feet away, Devlin had pulled out a sawed off shotgun and started pumping rounds into her.

Servo: I can't wait until he gets down to the Black and Decker Cordless.

Instinctively acting with her training, she raised her arms to block the relatively week neck of her armor. Small chips appeared, showing the damage the armor was taking from the solid slugs.

Crow: Y'know, Mike, this is like watching those old George Reeves Superman flicks.
Mike: You've got a point there, Crow.

When his gun finally gave out, he pulled out an old pistol, large and mean looking.

Allegra: I don't think that matchlock is going to help much...

He snapped off two shots, cursing as he saw them bounce off.

Crow: Boingy boingy!

He really missed his old three shot revolver that he'd had last century. That thing had stopping power.

Servo (Devlin): And if it hadn't been for that bastard Vash the Stampede, I'd still have it!

Sylia unleashed a barrage of lower power burst, spraying after the suddenly weaving and dodging figure. It was a dangerous tactic, being an intense drain on her batteries.

Mike: She's not using Energizers, I guess.

First one shot and then more started to find their target, burning him and finally knocking him to the ground.
Two full power burst caught him as he was jumping to his feet, knocking him squarely up against a chain link fence. He groaned as he collapsed to the ground on his knees.

Allegra: You know what's sad? A can of deodorant and a lighter would have produced the same effect.
Mike: Really...
Allegra: Oops.

Devlin stared daggers at her as he struggled to heal the grievous wounds that he'd inflicted. He just needed time!

Servo (Lando): Han will have that shield down!
Mike: Tom, I said-oh, heck with it. That line deserved it.

Salvation was had by an unexpected interruption, as a large hardsuited figure landed heavily, jet blaring and kicking up dust. Power claws gripped an oversized rifle expertly. The new hardsuit, angular and blue,
had white decals announcing to anyone who could see, that this was an ADP K-suit.

All: Here I come to ruin the day!

"Back away, slowly!" Leon barked out. He had the white hardsuit bracketed. "Don't try anything funny, Knight Saber. This gun fires depleted uranium slugs and it will penetrate your armor like it wasn't even there!"

Servo (Leon): Unless you dodge! But you didn't hear me say that!

Sylia had turned in case it was another attacker. The ADP K-12 was no slouch on the combat field and if that was the gun she thought it was,
he wasn't joking. How had he gotten permission to carry that? Those could punch through buildings!

Crow: Cool! A BFG!

"You don't understand! He's a monster!"

Mike: No, Devlin's just misunderstood. His mommy took away his Beanie Baby when he was a kid and this is his way of compensating.
Allegra: Speaking of compensating, look at Leon's gun!

"He may be a monster, but he doesn't deserve to be murdered! Back away,
now!" Leon yelled out. "Control, I need backup ASAP to help apprehend the Knight Sabers! Home in on my location." Leon nodded at the acknowledgement that he received as he clicked off the radio.

Servo: Huh? Since when is Leon trying to arrest the Knight Sabers?
Allegra: Since he realized he was their second banana.

Sylia took one step back, trying to figure out how to deal with the situation. "You idiot! He's really a monster!"
Priss slammed her fist onto the console of the Knight Sabers portable base. "What the hell does he think he's doing?" She and the rest of the Knight Sabers were within the truck, in their inner suits, ready to jump

Crow: "Jump! Go ahead, Jump!"

into the fight at a moments notice.
"Stingray! Don't do it!" Leon yelled out.

Servo: "When you want to go to it!"
Mike: All right, what's with the 80s music riffs?
Servo: Well, it's a long fic, and we're out of Star Wars ones...

"I dunno, Priss. It's not like him to go off like that," Nene said,
shrugging. She blinked when she heard Leon's last comment come across the radio.

Allegra (Nene): WHAT did he say about my butt?

Linna looked over at Priss with an unreadable expression. They were all surprised at the sudden sounds of armored plates slamming into place.
They all spun to see Mackie closing the head plate, sealing himself in his bulky hardsuit.
"Mackie, what do you think you're doing?" Priss called out.

Crow (Mackie): Getting behind some armor! Leon's not that great of a shot!

"What does it look like?" Mackie said, toggling the door open.

Allegra (Priss): Looks like four garbage cans lids to me, why?

"Mackie!" Nene called out, running to the door as the hardsuit landed on the ground.
"Suit up!

Mike (John Wayne): Let's get back in the war!

The shit's about to hit the fan!"

Allegra: SPLAT! Wop wop wop wop...

Priss followed her own advice and stepped into her own suit. Easy, practiced motions slid the suit around her body. She slammed her helmet on as she bounced out the door.

Servo and Crow: Boingy BOINGY boingy...

Linna and Nene weren't quite as quick, but they weren't far behind.
Devlin smiled, noting the distracted Knight Saber standing next to him.

Mike (Devlin): Sylia, are you believing this guy?

All at once, Leon finally looked over at the prone figure. Eyes met and locked.

Allegra: If the author says they've Recognized like ElfQuest elves, I am leaving this damn theater.

"Save me," Devlin said. His dark eyes demanded obedience, submission.

Crow: Run for your lives! It's a slash fic!

The words echoed in Leon's mind, seeming to gain strength. Woodenly,
responding as if he were an automaton, "Save me."

Servo: So Leon is acting normal again, I see.

Sylia blinked in surprise. Mind control? What could Devlin be...

(Silence stretches for awhile in the theater.)
Mike: Well? What? What's he doing?

"Kill her! Destroy her!" Devlin shouted, his will encompassing Leon's mind.
Sylia rocketed out of the way as Leon opened fire, gouging out the earth behind her.
"Kill her. Destroy her."

Allegra: Leon promptly went out and began killing every woman in sight, since Einstein Devlin never specified which "her."

Somewhere with himself, Leon railed against the commands that forced him to do the very thing he came here to stop. But the part that was in control acted with precision and speed, stomping after the smaller armored figure. He let loose burst when he thought he might have a chance to hit her.

Servo: Mind control has actually improved Leon's tactics.

Sylia relaxed slightly, as she saw that Leon had exaggerated. Slightly,
anyways.

Crow: Hee hee...now there's a loaded statement if I ever saw one.

The gun seemed to be mostly regular tracer rounds, with only one in ten actually being the heavy armor piercing rounds.

Mike: The other nine merely being ones that can blow through houses.

Sylia had never really considered the ADP truly dangerous. Their weapons were not as advanced, the tactics sometimes laughable. But as she dodged and tried to counter him, she had to grudgingly admit that Leon was no slouch, even if he was outmatched.

Allegra: You're right, Tom. Leon needs to be mind-controlled more often. Usually by now he's on the ground spitting blood.

But she didn't have time to deal with him!

Servo: Sylia echoes the words of BGC fans everywhere.

Devlin was trying to escape! Sylia suddenly changed direction, angling along a wall, near where she had entered the area. As Leon followed, she turned suddenly, to dash away.

Crow: Dodge! Turn! Parry! Spin! Thrust!

Leon skidded to a halt as his thrusters died.

Mike: Gas mileage is always bad in the city.

He turned to follow the Knight Saber when the wall behind him exploded as Sylia's forgotten motoslave came through it.

Allegra (motoslave): Dammit, I was promised five minutes of screen time, and I am going to get it!

Leon yelled out, "Oh, shit!"

Mike: Leon! Not in front of the kids!

The Typhoon II

Servo: Red October class. Twice as big as a regular Typhoon.

entered the battle as an ace up her sleeve, changing the whole field of battle. The big mecha slammed into the slightly smaller K-suit, body-checking it to the ground.

Crow: Unfortunately, the Typhoon II was given five minutes in the penalty box.

Sylia nodded in satisfaction.
The Typhoon II should more than handle the ADP hardsuit. She turned back to Devlin, just in time to react to a sword being swung at her neck!

Allegra (Sylia): Whoa! Need to pay attention to the fic a little more!
Crow (Kurgan voice): There can be only one!

-
Priss skidded to a halt in front of Mackie's bulkier and (thankfully)
slower hardsuit. "Mackie! Think damn it! If you go charging in their like a bull, you might get Sylia killed!"

Servo (Priss): Besides, acting stupid is MY specialty!

"Priss, get out of my way!" Mackie said in a determined tone of voice.
"Mackie, I'm not going to stop you, but I want you to think about what you do."

Allegra: Okay, who's this? Bring out the real Priss!

Priss stepped to the side. "We don't want her hurt either. But it's her fight."
"Guys! We've got other problems!" Nene called out from behind both of them.

Mike (Nene): The legal department found out we were robbing Highlander, and they're pissed!

They swiveled around to look at the red hardsuit, for some odd reason giving the impression of irritation. Linna just looked on in her own green hardsuit.

Allegra (Linna): If I just stand way over here, they won't notice me until the fic is over.

"The ADP is sending several TAC squads, the first group's ETA is only a minute away!" Nene gulped as she listened to the data feed. "They are to assist Detective Leon in capturing us. They've already got K-suits on their way! Chief Toto sounds really serious."

Crow: Always wondered what happened to Toto after they got back to Kansas.

"Oh... shit," Priss said eloquently.

Allegra: Pretty much says it all at this point.

She thought frantically for just a second. "Mackie, go make sure Sylia's all right, but don't interfere if it looks like she's holding her own. Nene, Linna, you're with me. We have to buy some time. Nene, be ready to blow the truck if it comes down to it!"
"Okay!" came the acknowledgements.

Servo: Hey, Allegra. Nobody's said it yet!
Allegra: Said what? Oh! You're right! Okay, count of three...one...two...three...
Allegra and Servo: KNIGHT SABERS...SANJU!
Crow: Mike? Suggestions?
Mike: Ignore them. Maybe they'll go away.

The red hardsuit watched the bulky orange suit trundle off, bazooka cannon at the ready. She was torn for a second. She didn't want to fight the ADP and she really wanted to go with Mackie, but Priss and Linna were going to need her.

Mike: To absorb stray rounds.

In moments the three Knight Sabers had intercepted the first caravan of the ADP. "Okay, let's do it!" Priss said, her dark blue hardsuit gleaming as she crouched down to leap.
"Priss, I, I can't do this!" Nene said plaintively.

Allegra (Priss): Well, this is a hell of a time to say so!

Linna looked over in consternation and then understanding. "Oh, crud."
Priss's visor hid her expression as she turned and looked at Nene.
"Nene, I won't force you to fight. This isn't a fairy tale.

Crow: I don't know. I always thought Little Red Riding Hood would be a lot better if she had a hardsuit.

These guys are going to be using lethal force." She launched herself into the air,
Linna a mere moment behind.
For a heart wracking moment, Nene didn't know what to do. Then, as if she had just had an epiphany. Friends.

Mike (Nene): My God, I forgot to set the VCR to record tonight!

That was what was important. She took a breath and then launched herself after them, mini thrusters blaring to land softly behind the blue and green hardsuits, forming a triangle. Acting in unison, they dashed towards the oncoming vehicles.

Crow: TENNO HEIKA BANZAIIII!
Servo: Crow! Wow! I'm impressed!
Crow: I've riffed enough of these things to have picked up some lingo.

The drivers had just a moment to be shocked as the hardsuits in front of them sprang into action. The two lead armored troop carrier's engines had a catastrophic failure as shaped explosive punches destroyed them.
Communication suddenly ceased as a deathly static over took the radios.
"Don't kill them if you don't have too!" Nene called out.

Allegra (Priss): Oops.

Priss snorted. "Like these jerks are threats!" She leaped up and over the large, square vehicle and landed in the back of the just opened doors, unloading ADP troops. Each trooper carried his snub nosed rifle and wore their standard soft armor. Helmets, gas masks and goggles gave them the appearance of some sort of storm trooper.

Mike: Oh, no...
Allegra: Hey, did the point man get it?
Servo: How about the guy in back? Did he ding his head?
Crow: Maybe it's another drill.
Mike: I'm in hell.

Without even asking, they unleashed a barrage of bullets at the blue hardsuited figure as it charged them. They were forced to stop as the figure plowed into them like a bowling ball into ten pins.

Crow: STEEE-RIIKKKE!

The worst injury among them was only a few broken bones,

Allegra: Apparently the author has never broken any bones.

but their dignity would take some time to recover.

Servo: This is the AD Police we're talking here. Their dignity was a casualty a long time ago.

Linna dealt with the other group of trooper in a similar manner as Priss, going hand to hand to knock them out. At the third and final troop carrier, Nene leaned into the double doors in the back, pushing them closed against the combined weight of the troops.

Crow: Apparently all two of them.

As soon as she had the doors closed, her laser worked quickly to wield the doors closed. Priss looked up, seeing a swarm of lights headed this direction.
"Company!

Mike: Halt!

Take out their guns and they can't shoot at us!"

Allegra: Boy, the NRA is not going to like this at all.

Nene and Linna responded, "Right!"
"Go!"
The three hardsuits moved out again taking a moment to deal with some police cruisers smashing their hoods and engines casually.

Servo: Personally, I think they should have done things formally. More polite that way.

The small fire-bee fighter copters had just a moment to realize that they were under attack as the Knight Sabers all leaped a hundred feet straight up into the air.

Crow: Redshirts attack!

-
Sylia blocked and dodged frantically, trying to keep her head attached to her body.

Mike: That's always a good thing to do.

She had never considered him using a melee weapon as a serious threat. Whatever the sword was, it was holding up to his inhuman strength and battering up against her armor. Her own double blades,
protruding from her gauntlets was barely keeping the sword from her neck.

Mike: What do you think, folks? Excalibur?
Crow: No way. Durandal.
Servo: Sword of Omens?
Allegra: Hackmaster +12.

Devlin snarled gleefully. He had her on the ropes now!

Allegra (Rocky): Ya gotta cut me, Mickey!

He was driving her back. When her wings snapped out, he swung his sword in a vicious overhand blow, smashing it and disrupting her attempt to gain some distance.

Crow: Y'know, we really need some Queen to go with this.

Out of control, she cork-screwed in the air, abruptly terminating as she impacted into a wall.

Mike: Ow.

Sylia's vision cleared to see Devlin, sword in hand up against her throat. With a dread certainty that she wasn't going to live,

Crow: 'Cause she's already dead...

she released her last plan. She had to stall!

Allegra (Sylia): Nice day, isn't it? How do you think the Cubs will do this year? Wanna play chess?

"It was a good fight. The best I've had in ages. But you lose! Just like everyone else!" Devlin crowed,

Servo: Oh, so he acted like a hentai.
Crow: Ah, shut up.

gloating over his victory.

Mike: Gloat! Gloat! Gloat!

He barely had a moments warning when a shell exploded the ground behind him, shredding his jacket and flinging him at the prone figure in front of him.

Allegra: He threw himself at the ground, and missed!

Seizing the opportunity, Sylia ignited her thrusters to get to her feat in one burst and grabbing Devlin in a bear hug. Staggering drunkenly,
Sylia walked back out into the open.

Servo (Sylia): Heyyy, Macckie! Hic! Whassup!

Mackie looked on in confusion. What was Sylia doing? Uncertainly, he lifted his bazooka cannon up. In the back of his mind, he noted that the larger robot was slowly disassembling Leon's K-suit quite viciously.

Mike: Not to mention Leon.

Sylia watched on her HUD as numbers counted down. "And the Lord spoke and said, 'Let there be light'," Sylia said to herself.

Crow: Oh, now he's ripping off "Dark Star"!
Allegra: Hey, Bomb?

Devlin didn't understand what she was saying.

Mike (Devlin): Quit speaking Hebrew!

His eyes widened in surprise, for in the night's sky, a ring of light appeared in southern quadrant of the sky. For some reason, this ring seemed to strike deep at his fears.

Crow: One ring to rule them all.
Allegra (Gollum): My precioussss...
Mike (shuddering): Don't do that.

As he watched the ring seemed to expand inward. Single brighter stars appeared within that shimmering, shining bright and white.

Crow: Mike? The "My God, it's full of stars" would be redundant here, huh?
Mike: Yep.

The ADP chopper pilots flying into the area looked around in confusion.
Odd lights were illuminating the city, dancing across it as if alive.
Far above, in the cold of space,

Servo: It was another day of death and destruction on Superdimensional Fortress Macross.

satellites turned and rotated. Mirror-
like solar collectors angled according to a preset signal that overrode their computers and continued it methodical overtake of all of the solar collectors and reflectors that it could in orbit.
Devlin jerked as the first touch of light struck him. It didn't hurt,

Allegra: Much.

but it was incredibly bright. No matter what he could do, he couldn't break Sylia's titanium clad grip. His head was above her own, with his arms pinned to his side. In horror, he saw more and more lights converging on their spot, illuminating the area.
"Gheagk! AAAAAAH!"

Mike and the Bots: MEGAMI-SAMA!
Allegra: I suppose I should have seen that one coming.

Devlin screamed, as daylight was focused on this small section of MegaTokyo. His skin started to smolder and smoke,
burning away. Muscle and bone started to show as his flesh turned to ash.

Mike: See? Smoking's bad for you.

Leon could only stare in mute horror as the vampire burned in the bright light only thirty feet away. The red mecha had finally destroyed his power train, leaving him at its mercy. His poor K-suit's helmet and shoulders were broken, leaving him almost defenseless.

Allegra: Okay, now THAT'S the real Leon.

He squinted as the bright light struck his bare face. It was warm, but only about as much as a sunny day in spring.

Crow: On Mercury, that is.

As Devlin crumbled to dust in her grip, Leon felt the strange compulsion break and fragment leaving him confused and stunned. "W-what? What's going on?"
Sylia looked away from the clothing and dust at the exclamation.

Allegra (Sylia): You got your butt kicked again, Leon.
Servo (Leon): Oh, is that all? Whew!

She walked over and stared into Leon's eyes, calculating, planning. "Leon McNichol. What do you plan to do?"
"Eh?" Leon squinted at her.

Crow: Oh, so Leon's Canadian?
Allegra: Explains a-(slaps hand over her mouth, then glares at Crow) Nice try, goldenrod.
Crow: Crud.

His whole body tensed. He was at her mercy.
"What do you mean?"
"You know who I am. What do you plan to do?"

Mike (Sean Connery in "The Untouchables") What are ya prepared to do?

Sylia stared at Leon through her cameras, trying to judge what he would do, what actions she must take.

Allegra: Big Sister is watching you.

"I came here to stop you from stepping out of line. I saw you as you were about kill a man. So I had to act to stop you." Leon squinted as he saw the light illuminating the area starting to fade. "That guy on the bike, he was one of them, wasn't he?"

Servo: You know...they.

"Yes. He was a vampire." Darkness encompassed the area, leaving Leon to stare at the dark shape.
"A vampire. A real live vampire, eh?"

Crow: Well, not anymore, no.

Leon just couldn't fit such a creature into his world view that quickly.

Servo: Just wait until Mothra shows up.

"And they are after the Knight Sabers? So you are just defending yourself?"
"Not the Knight Sabers, Leon McNichol. He was after me. The Knight Sabers have chosen to stand behind me."

Allegra (Sylia): I wanted them to stand in front of me to take the shots, but no dice.

Leon heard the sound of a heavier mecha tromping toward him, obviously not one of the Knight Sabers. Leon pursed his lips in thought. "I was here to stop you from killing someone. But I'm never going to convince anyone higher up the chain about vampires. And it sounds like he was the real life monster that you were trying to tell me about."
Sylia flipped her visor up. "And my secret? The other Knight Sabers identities?"

Mike: Sort of just went out the window.

"The ADP has always cut you guys a lot of slack, because of all the things you've done to help the city. I've kept the secret for a while.
As long as you don't cross the line, I'll keep my mouth shut.

Servo: Especially since no one listens to the crap Leon says anyway.

Besides, I haven't figured out who green is yet."

Allegra: Kermit, duh.

Leon smiled roguishly. He was rewarded with a small start of surprise out of her.

Crow: As the beans Sylia had eaten suddenly made themselves known.

"You know who Red is?" Sylia said coolly. She had hoped that he hadn't guessed that one.
"Yeah. Surprised the hell out of me when I did figure it out. Nene doesn't really seem like Knight Saber material."

Allegra: You're telling us!

Sylia seriously considered killing Leon, right then and there,

All: DO IT! DO IT!

but no, that would be cold blooded murder.

Servo: No, it isn't! It's euthanasia!

Not only that, but the Normal Police and ADP would spare no expenses to hunt them down for that.

Crow: To give you a medal!

She did not relish living as a wanted fugitive. Or to do that to her brother and her friends.

Mike: Though she is better looking than Harrison Ford.
Allegra: In who's opinion?

There was no choice, it left only one avenue open.

Servo: She was going to have to kill all the AD Police.

Trust, in a person unknown to her. A person that just tried to arrest her and kill her.
Sylia agonized for a second.

Crow: And then pulled the trigger.

"I have no choice then. I guess the Knight Sabers exist at your sufferance." Sylia ended the conversation by closing her visor and turning while walking away.

Mike: That's like giving Goofy nuclear launch codes.

The big red mecha set the K-suit down as gently as possible.

(Allegra makes the sound of nuts and bolts being poured out of a bucket.)

Leon started to scramble out of the ruins of his armor. He blinked in surprise at the three figures taking off. He didn't remember seeing that big bulky yellow suit before.

Servo (Leon): Pikachu has power armor?
Mike: Oh, please, Tom. Don't give anyone ideas for a crossover fic.

-
"Knight Sabers! Status?" Sylia called over the radio.

Allegra (Priss): Everybody's dead! How 'bout you?

Priss watched the sky up ahead. "Oh, about two dozen K-suits are about to be air dropped in on us."

Crow: What do you know? Crap DOES roll downhill!

"Well, why don't we leave? Regroup at Raven's. Make sure not to be followed," their leader said.
Priss turned to Linna and Nene. "Nene, blow the truck. We'll hoof it back to Raven's."
"Roger!" A specially encoded instruction was transmitted through the static she was generating.

Servo: F-U-B-A-R.

The Knight Saber's faithful mobile base ignited spectacularly , as special charges set the very metal of the vehicle afire.

Allegra: Damn you, Minnie May Hopkins!

By the time the special combustibles would finish burning in an hour, a forensic scientist would have a tough time telling more than that it had been a vehicle of some sort.
The large helicopters in the air had their pilots blinking as they saw the incandescent flames off in the distance. "K-suits? Are you ready?"
After a chorus of affirmatives, the pilot pulled the eject toggle,

Mike (pilot): Fly it yourselves, chumps! I'm not getting paid enough for this!

launching the ADP's K-suit arsenal into the air behind it.
The leader of the ten K-suits started to cheer as he saw the Knight Sabers rocket towards the cliffs that surrounded the area, heading away from them at high speeds. "We've got them boxed in, there's no way they can escape... DAMN! How the hell can they do that?"

Allegra: It's a kind of magic.

That was in reference to the three hardsuits rocketing up the side of the cliff, hundreds of feet straight up. A small crowd of onlookers was watching the scene from the top of the cliff.
"Look out!" cried one of the men, taking his own advice and diving to the ground, just as the three sleek hardsuits came over the edge.
The blue and green one landed easily, while the red one stumbled a bit,

Mike: The M&Ms gone horribly wrong.

almost stepping on a fallen pedestrian. "Oops! Sorry!"

Servo (Nene): Can't people pick up after themselves these days?

"The subways! Follow me!" Priss said, pointing towards the nearest subway entrance.

Crow: Hmmm...isn't this how "The Matrix" ended?

Nene waved as she called out "Bye, bye!" A jet assisted leap

Allegra: From Priss' right boot...

landed her right behind the other two hardsuits.
A moment later, a thundering roar broke the stunned silence as the ADP's large carrier helicopters crested the cliffs edge. "Where did the Knight Sabers go?" its PA system yelled out. Many of the crowd pointed towards the subway entrance. "Damn it! They've gone into the subway system," the PA blurted out, as the pilot didn't realize that he was still on the loud speaker.

Mike: Brilliant investigative work. I am just impressed.

"We've lost them, control! They led us around like we were amateurs!"
the pilot relayed privately back to headquarters.

Servo (control): So what else is new?
Mike (checking watch): Good place for a break, boys and girl.
Dr. F (v.o.): Get back in those seats! You get a break when I say so!
Mike: Hey, it's union rules!
Dr. F (v.o.): Oh, all right...

(Door Sequence, etc. etc., ad nauseaum, ad infinitum...)

"'Union rules...'" Tom Servo snickered. "That was a good one, Mike. Next we should tell him we're on strike."
"We tried that once," Mike replied. "Dr. F cut off the air."
"Yes, that is a bit of a problem." Tom inclined his head at a glass of what looked like was tomato juice with a celery stick, sitting on the console behind a convienent box. "Whoa, Mike! The fic isn't that bad. You don't need to start drinking."
Mike glanced at the glass. "That's not mine. I didn't notice it, behind that box. Crow?"
"What?" Crow, who was intently reading Bram Stoker, immediately began looking around guiltily. "I didn't do it. You can't prove that I did it."
"No, no. Is that your glass?"
"Nope. I don't drink, Mike, and you made me quit smoking."
Allegra walked in, wearing dirty coveralls over her jumpsuit and her hair tied up in a bandanna. "Load pan bay is done." Crow and Tom nodded to each other once, quickly, but Mike caught it.
"All right, boys, 'fess up. Tom, wasn't it your turn to do the bay this month?"
"Well, Crow owed me a favor, and..."
"Crow told me it was tradition for new people on the station," Allegra said with sweet naivete.
Mike thought about telling her the truth, but then decided that maybe it wasn't a bad thing to have Allegra clean the bay after all. "Um, yes. Yes, that's right, Allegra, it IS something of a tradition around here..."
"Well, it wasn't too bad, but it was thirsty work." She reached for the glass and gulped some down. "Ahh." She swirled it around with the celery stick.
Mike gulped. "That's...that's not a Bloody Mary, is it."
"No. AB Positive, actually." She held out the glass to Mike. "Want some?"
Mike shook his head, turning a bit green. "No thanks...but, uh...where did you get it?"
"Oh. Same place you get the food from."
"Oh. THAT place."
"It's not the best I've had, but the celery adds some flavor." She chomped on the celery.
The hexfield viewscreen came on, revealing a livid Dr. Forrester. "Oooh, nice try, Nelson! Union rules, indeed."
Mike regarded Forrester calmly. "But, sir, we are a union." Crow held up a hastily scrawled sign on a piece of cardboard that read UNION NOW! "And as a union, we are entitled to fifteen minute breaks every eight hour shift."
"And you wouldn't want OSHA on your back, would you, Doctor?" Allegra added. "I understand that's a pretty big fine!"
"Hmpf." Forrester folded his arms. "All right, Hoffa. You and Norma Rae there can have another five minutes, then it's back in the theater with you!" As the viewscreen closed, he grumbled, "Test subject unions...next thing you know, the Rats of Nimh will go on strike or something..."

(Door sequence, yada, yada, yada.)

Allegra: Guys, if we really are a union, we don't have to run around screaming when fanfic sign comes on.
Crow: What, and break tradition?

-
That next night, just after sunset, Mackie was sitting on the couch,
using a portable terminal to work out a repair schedule for the hardsuits and their other equipment. The loss of the truck was going to take weeks to replace and they'd have to be very careful when they did.
"Hey, Nene? When you're done with checking out your hardsuit, do you want to come up and grab a bite to eat?" The little window in the corner of the screen showed the bouncy red-head.

Crow: Take a wild guess where Mackie has the zoom button at.

Mackie failed to notice a red dot moving across the floor towards him. He blinked in surprise as it darted across the table in front of him and then disappeared. What had that been?

Mike: Red Rover?

"Sure, Mackie! What are you cooking?" Nene asked.

Allegra: Skunk's butt, sauteed in snot!
Mike: Oh, sweet heaven...you drinking blood was bad enough...

The red dot steadied itself on the young boys back, as crosshairs lined up.

Servo: I see the Predator's back in town again.

Three muted coughing sounds barked out, shattering the window and traveling through his body and the screen on his lap, splattering blood everywhere.

Crow: Whoa! I did NOT see that one coming!
Mike: I'll be okay as long as Kevin Costner doesn't run the scene back fifteen times.

Nene blinked in surprise as the screen blanked out even as it transmitted the sound of breaking glass. "Mackie?" Her screen started to flash an intruder alert in the penthouse. A little status bar indicated armed intrusion, weapons fired.

Servo: They're using Better Late Than Never Security Systems.

Sylia jerked at the sound of shattering glass and metal, echoing from the living room. She glided out of the shower and slipped on her bathrobe.

Crow: Oh, sure! Tease us, why don'tcha?

A small panel slid open in the sink cabinet, letting her grab a small pistol. She had a bad feeling that it wasn't going to be enough.

Allegra: By golly, Norman Bates wouldn't stand a chance in this house!

She flung open the door and dashed into the living room, where a nightmare awaited her.

Servo: An Evolution in Cold Blood.

Blood was splattered everywhere,

Servo: See? You guys thought I was making a smart remark.

Mackie's prone form was crumpled on the ground. She barely heard the sound of breaking glass, as a black commando garbed figure stepped in through the ruined window.
Goggles and a face mask hid his expression, but didn't muffle his voice.
"Damn! Shot the wrong target."

Servo (sniper): But I'll get you next time, Kaneda!

His hands snatched two hand guns from shoulder holsters as Sylia's gun shot him three times, dead center.
She had but a moment to realize he must be armored, when his shots rang out,

Crow: A woman screamed!

striking her in the stomach and legs. She collapsed in pain,

Crow: Called that one, didn't I?

scrabbling to try and shoot him back. She was flipped back over and her gun was slapped out of her hand with brutal efficiency.
"I can't believe that you were the one that killed Devlin. You're weak and slow." He slid the mask and goggles off with one hand. Sylia realized it was one of the dead vampire's henchmen.

Allegra (Sylia): Whew! What a relief. I thought you were Duke Togo!

"But your blood will still taste sweet. And with it, I'll have your strength to challenge anyone who stands in my path!"

Mike: But you said she was weak and slow!

"What are you... glergk!"

Servo: Lot of that going on tonight.

Sylia tried to struggle, but his fangs were in her throat as he sucked the blood out of her. "Stop," she managed to get out. Her hands struck futile blows against him.

Allegra: C'mon, Sylia! Bite him back! See who can suck the quickest!
Mike: Allegra, think about what you just said.
Allegra: I...um. Heh. Pardon mi faux pas...

Slow seconds passed as she felt herself weaken. So this is how it would end?

Crow: Yep! (gets up to leave)
Dr. F (v.o.) Get back in that seat! You had your break!
Crow: Worth a shot.

"Mackie! Sylia! Get away from her you monster!"

Servo: Everyone's a monster these days. How about "Get away from her, you bad person!"
Allegra: Bastard, try this melon!

Nene's muffled voice yelled out from the elevator. Her red hardsuit's laser discharged,
sending the smell of burning flesh into the air.

Servo: Unfortunately, it was Nene's, since she had shot herself in the foot.

Jackie rolled to side, managing to dodge the second laser burst.

Crow: Jackie? Jackie Chan? Way kewl!
Mike: We can't be that lucky to have a Jackie Chan fic in here.
Tom: Well, unless it crosses over with Pokemon...

Damn!
Where the hell had she come from? "Stay out of this mortal!" He tried to force her leave, to submit. But he couldn't see her eyes.

Allegra: Next move, Napoleon?

"You bastard! You killed Mackie!"

(Mass laughter across the theater.)
Mike: Y'know folks, sometimes the riffs write themselves.

Nene charged at him, landing a weak punch into his stomach.

Crow: Float like a bee, sting like a butterfly!

Jackie grabbed and threw her outside,

Servo: Take it outside!
Mike (wrestling announcer): And the fight has left the ring!

where she skidded past the swimming pool in a trail of sparks. He dashed after her to try shooting her in weak points in the armor. He was about half way there, when her jets flared, flinging her into the air, while spinning her around.

Allegra: Hey, a quintuple axel!

Her laser stabbed out from her right arm, clipping him again, burning away most of his shoulder.
He couldn't help himself as he screamed in agony. The damn thing burned like fire!

Mike: Well, that's why you should always have protection.
Crow: Mike! I'm...well, impressed, actually.

He was surprised when she landed right in front of him,
grabbing him and smashing them both through the wall, back into the living room.

Allegra: You're a bad boy, go to my room!

Nene was possessed by an insane, righteous fury. Normally the most timid and weak of the Knight Sabers, she fought in a berserk rage. Again and again, she smashed him into the reinforced concrete of the floor.

Crow: WHAM! And that's for the Cubs! WHAM! And that's for "Freaks and Geeks" being cancelled! WHAM! And that's for bad dubbing! WHAM! And that's because I felt like it!

She had almost succeeded in smashing him through the floor when her concentration was broken. "Nene! Stop! He's down!"

Mike: I didn't hear a three-count.
Allegra: Hit him again, Nene!

"M-Mackie? B-but how? You were dead. At least hurt really bad?" Nene stopped striking the battered and broken flesh on the ground before her in confusion.

Servo: It IS Jackie Chan!

Mackie leaned down to her. His clothes were splattered with his blood,
but she could see sickly bruised flesh beneath it, oddly discolored with veins of gray-silver. "Something else my father left behind. I'm going to be fine," he managed to say, between grit teeth.

Allegra (Schwarznegger): Of course. Ah'm a Terminator.

"Mackie!" Nene cried out, grabbing him in a tight embrace. "I thought...
I thought you were dead."
They were startled back to the current situation as Sylia jammed a katana through the chest of the vampire, pinning it into the gravel so that it couldn't move.

Crow (Sylia): Like it? Borrowed it from Connor McLeod.

"Argh, you bitch!" Jackie cried out. He'd needed just a minute or two more to heal his wounds.
"Talk! Or I'll kill you right now!" Sylia declared in a voice that alluded to an arctic wind.

Tom: Somebody's been in the peppermint patties again!

"What? What do you want to know?"
"Why did you attack me? Why did you shoot Mackie?" Sylia asked, twisting the sword slightly.

Servo (Sylia): How many people went down on the Titanic?
Mike (Jackie): Two thousand two hundred!
Servo (Sylia): Name them!

"Thought he was you!

Allegra: I guess the lack of certain chest protrusions didn't register with Eagle Eyes Jackie there.

I attacked you for revenge and to take your blood for my own." Jackie sucked in air as if he needed to breath, the reflexes of his life coming back to him.
"What do you mean, take my blood?"

Crow: I don't think he was trying to give you a hickey, Sylia!

Nene moved over and put her laser up against his forehead. She wasn't taking any chances.
"Devlin's blood was strong, powerful enough to create potent childer.

Mike: Potent cider?
Allegra: Childer. New vampires.
Mike: I'm confused.

If I take your blood, I become at least as strong as you!" He gasped as she turned the sword a bit.

Servo (Sylia): Stir for twenty minutes, then simmer.

"You're a hunted woman, Stingray. Your nights are numbered! And just because of your blood."
"I won't be easy to kill."

Allegra (Sylia): Script immunity. Says right here in my contract.

"You won't be able to hide or run, Sylia Stingray! They'll come after your friends, your family!"

Servo (Sylia): My friends have huge guns and my family's dead! What'cha think about that, punk?

His hands suddenly shot out in a blur and grabbed Nene's right arm and tossed her on top of Sylia. Not even pausing to remove the sword he dashed to the edge of the roof and flung himself off, into the night.

Crow (Jackie): I can fly, I can fly, I can fly...oop. No, I can't.

"Nene! Don't let him escape!" Sylia cried out.
She needn't have even ordered as the Knight Saber flung herself after the vampire. He was about to strike the ground, when she unleashed her a full spray of lasers into his back, riddling his body full of holes. His body bounced with a sickening thud off the mostly empty sidewalk as the sword imbedded in him shattered.

Mike: Damn cheap imports.

The onlookers were treated to the unusual sight of a Knight Saber landing lightly next to the body.

Allegra (Nene): I told him not to jump!

Even as she dashed towards the body,
it jerked itself to its feet. Barely recognizable as a man, he bared his fangs and leaped at her, his insane beast awakened and demanding death and blood.

Mike: Let's not talk about blood.

She ducked his hands and smashed a punch into his gut, triggering a powerful burst, almost like a knuckle bomber that Priss and Linna favored. Her helmet was covered in blood as he sprayed blood from his mouth.

(Mike pops open an umbrella.)
Crow: Mike! That's bad luck inside the theater.

The bystanders gasped at the savagery of the exchange and then

Servo: Threw up.

again as the man seemed to crumble into himself. By the time his bones would have hit the ground, there was a cloud of dust that drifted away.
Nene felt numb and tired.

Crow: You should see it from our side.

Moving woodenly, she looked around at the gathering crowd.

Allegra: And no one cares that a Knight Saber just turned blew somebody away, who turned to dust.
Servo: Well, it is MegaTokyo. Lots of weird stuff going on.

Shaking off her lethargy, she took off, bouncing and gliding down the street and turning corners until she felt she had lost any pursuers. A back entrance to the Silky Doll took her back upstairs.
"Is... is everyone all right?" Nene asked finally. That had been a fairly traumatic event for her.

Mike: Not to mention everyone else!

Sylia looked up from where she was checking on Mackie. "We're fine. Did you stop him?"

Allegra (Nene): I blew him to dust. Does that count?

"Y-yeah."
"Nene, go get out of the hardsuit and come back up here. I'll need your help as 'Nene Romanova: ADP police officer," Sylia looked up from where she was bandaging Mackie. "Take his shirt and trash it in the secure area."

Servo (Sylia): Right now, I need your help as Nene Romanova: Maid.

Nene nodded and followed the orders. She had a sinking feeling that this night was going to be another long night.

Mike: It just won't die! It JUST WON'T DIE!
Crow: Dr. F didn't send us a fic, he sent us a book!

Linna looked around the trashed living room, seeing small piles of debris. "Oh, that's why she wanted to meet downstairs. Brrr. I should have brought my sweater." Sighing theatrically,

All: SIGH...

she turned back into the elevator and hit the button for the sub-basements. It was always so cold down there.
A minute later, she stepped out of the elevator and into the cold and sterile base that the Knight Sabers operated out of. A bit of walking finally found the other Knight Sabers sitting at the break table,
sipping coffee. Well, except for Sylia, of course.

Allegra: She was drinking Johnny Walker Red.

"Hello!"

All: Yello!

"'lo Linna. 'bout time!" Priss said as she slouched in her chair. She had her hands in her leather jacket's pockets.
"Some of us hold a full time job during the day!

Servo: Fitness instructor. Yeah, there's a tough job.

I need my beauty sleep," Linna replied, sticking her nose up in the air.
"You got that right!" Nene said, brightening up considerably.
It took a moment for the put down to dawn on Linna. "Hey! That's not nice!"
"Ha! You're just upset that I got you with that one!" Nene crowed.

Crow: One more time, and I'm suing.

Priss ginned, trying to fight down a laugh that just wanted to be released. "Y'know, she might be right."
"Not you too?" Linna started to scowl.

Servo: Oh, we went and made her mad.

"Poor picked on Linna. I mean, she gets half the crap that Nene gets but whines twice as much." Priss's smile was so wide it threatened to break at any moment.

Allegra: Especially when Linna rams her fist into it.

Nene, Mackie and Sylia all started to giggle until they couldn't hold back and started to laugh themselves breathless.

Crow: Not a particularly hard thing for Sylia to do.

Priss joined in just a moment later.

Allegra (Priss): What's everybody laughing at...oh, me! I get it!

Linna put on a dignified and wounded expression. "I swear. I thought you were my friends."
Her comment just set them to laughing even harder.

Servo: Sooner or later, it all comes down to name-calling.

Finally, Sylia coughed, bringing everyone back down to the earth.

Mike (Sylia): Okay, Nene, put out the bong.

"Thank you for showing up, Linna."

Allegra (Sylia): We needed some new comic relief. Nene's getting old.

Sylia saw Linna perk up in expectation. "As you might be wondering what happened upstairs, a vampire made an attempt on my life. As he put it, he wanted to take 'my blood' for his own and for 'revenge.'

Crow (Sylia): And then he would 'kill' me and 'bury' me, and 'laugh' about it afterwards.

He seemed to think that drinking my blood would make him more powerful."

Mike: That true, Allegra?
Allegra: I'm not saying.
Crow: Chicken.

"Eww. Cannibal vampires." Linna's comment seemed to sum up Priss's thoughts.

Servo: Makes you really not want to know what's going through Priss' mind.

"Nene dispatched the vampire, but they are likely to be more that will attempt to kill me in the next few nights. We have to come up with some plan of attack, or some idea of how and where to flee." Sylia paused a second, lost in deep thought.

Allegra (Sylia): Hawaii, we could go to Hawaii...no, too much sun...Australia?

"Nene? What have they been feeding you? Klingon Wheaties?" Priss asked incredulously.
"Hey!"

Crow: Nene screamed, picking up her bat'leth.

"Later! This is a matter of grave importance to all of the Knight Sabers. Do we fight or flee?" Sylia asked the group pointedly.

Allegra: Fight!
Mike: Flee!
Crow: Less filling!
Servo: Tastes great!

"I'm not going to let any blood sucker push me around. I say we fight!"
Priss exclaimed.
"Uh, exactly how many vampires are we talking about?" Linna asked. "I'm all for fighting battles that we stand a chance at winning, but I'm not going to walk into certain death. This is starting to sound like a really bad episode of that old American vampire hunter show from about thirty years ago."

Mike: Except that Buffy doesn't have power armor.
Crow: Though she does have big cannons.

"We don't abandon our friends! If that means fighting, then we fight!"
Nene exclaimed, her grip on Mackie's hand tightening convulsively.
"I'm not convinced that we can fight them. I need more data," Sylia said tiredly.

Servo: Sylia's a Vulcan?
Allegra: You're surprised?

"What if we took away their reason for attacking you?" Mackie asked seriously. He had a very hard look on his too young face.
"Huh? What are you thinking about, Mackie?" Nene asked.

Mike (Mackie): My inheritance, actually.

"That guy from tonight, he wasn't really here for revenge. He was here to 'eat' you."

Crow: Okay, Mike, this time I didn't say anything. It was the fic.
Mike: Duly noted.

Mackie noted Sylia's shudder of horror. "He was sloppy and got himself killed because he was in a rush. They must think that because you're new, that if they hit you when you aren't in your armor,
they can kill you. They're probably right too."
Sylia nodded slowly in agreement. "I'm not sure what you mean."

Servo (Mackie): Okay, Sylia. Let's say I was to pull the trigger on this big gun I'm holding.

"We get rid of your old body. We know it's feasible. Look at what Mason did. Trick everyone into thinking that you 'died.'"

Crow (Mackie): And this time you come back with 38DDs!

Priss's chair slipped out from beneath her, letting her fall to the ground in a crash. She looked up from the ground, shocked horror on her face. "What the hell are you talking about?

Servo: Bubblegum Crisis 2040, actually.

You can do that? Why didn't you tell us?"
Sylia blinked in surprise. "By the time we had figured it out, Largo was dead."
"Sylia, what does Largo have to do with Mason?" Linna asked, looking between the two siblings.

Allegra: Crow? You're closest. Reach up and slap her.
Crow: My arms don't reach that far.

"There is a very great likelihood that Largo was, in most ways, Mason.
The technology is a subtle application of boomer AI technology."

Mike: Reincarnation is subtle?

Sylia tapped on the table, slowly and steadily. "I think the risk is unacceptable."
"Eh? Why?" Linna asked.

Allegra (Sylia): Because I have to die first, idiot!

Priss had a very hard look of concentration as she sat back down on the chair that she had overturned.

Crow (Priss): My brain hurts!

"Mason became the monster Largo. I... won't let that happen again."
"I don't see what the difference is between what your father did and being in a boomer body."

Servo: About a hundred pounds of steel, back jets, and a mouth cannon.

Linna tried her best to keep calm. "Besides,
Mason was pretty monstrous to begin with."
"The Fanword Syndrome is well documented. A human mind needs a certain level of physical stimulus. If it doesn't get it, the mind begins to fragment into different psychosis's." Sylia shrugged.

Mike: Funny, I always thought that was Fanboy Syndrome.

"A 33-S boomer is pretty humanlike and can 'feel,' can't it? " Priss had a very hard frown on her face.

Allegra: It's a sexdroid; I sure hope so.

Sylia nodded slowly. "That is true. There sense of touch and smell are about sixty percent as good as a humans. Later models were even better."
"Does anyone have a better idea?" Nene asked.

Crow: Kill 'em all and let God sort 'em out?

"We could try to disappear, but my attacker made a comment that 'I couldn't hide or run.' He could have been bluffing, but they found me rather easily. First Rumio and then the attacker from tonight." For people who knew her, you could easily see her agitation as she tapped the table.
"So they're probably watching right now." Linna frowned.

Servo: Along with Genom, the Hou Bang family, the AD Police, and everyone else in MegaTokyo.

She wasn't usually the most paranoid of people. But then again, what was that phrase? You're only paranoid if they aren't out to get you.
Sylia seemed to sink into herself.

Crow: Oh, gross!

"I've dragged you into this. I just don't see another way out, some way to fight them effectively."

Allegra: I find a book of matches and a couple of stakes to be rather effective.

"So we 'fort up' and lock down.

Mike: Just like the Alamo.

How hard is it going to be to get you into a different body?"

Crow: I wish they'd knock it off with these loaded statements. I feel redundant.

Priss couldn't believe they were going to do this. It sounded like something out of a sci-fi show. Or an old Frankenstein movie.

Servo: Come to think of it, Mike, this does resemble some of our old 'favorites.'
Mike: Don't remind me. I just hope Torgo doesn't show up.

Sylia looked strained

Allegra: She's going to look pureed in a minute.

but finally nodded. "I guess it is the only option. It's going to take a few days to prepare everything. We'll have to steal a body.

Crow: Suddenly this has become "Coma."

I don't have the facilities to make an S type android body. It will take that long to grow a 'brain' for it, anyways."

Allegra: She needs only the best brains.
Mike: Hey! Watch the copyright, lady.

"Great, Genom." Priss looked very unhappy at her voiced thought.

Servo: If you don't like scary answers, maybe you should stop asking scary questions.

The next two days were spent in frantic preparations. Finally, on the second night, Sylia brought them together to tell them that she was ready.
Sylia stood over what would hopefully be her new body.

Allegra (Sylia): Damn, I'm looking good!

It lay on the bed quietly, but more alive than herself. She had just finished installing the new 'brain' and hooking it up to the battery of computers with a four inch wide band of optical cables. It was going to be shorter than her old body, but of more classical proportions.

Crow: And do we mean PROPORTIONS! Woo-hoo!

The blond hair seemed wrong, as did the violet eyes.

Servo: So they ARE trying to explain BGC 2040!
Allegra: They've got a long way to go to explain that one to me.

Priss, Nene and Linna were standing in their hard suits, helmets off but prepared to act instantly. "So, how long is this going to take?" Priss asked.
"Downloading will take approximately a half an hour.

Servo: Gee, you'd think Sylia would be able to afford a quicker modem.

Uploading to the new AI will take about half that." Sylia took a deep, unneeded breath .
She laid down on the table, resting her head in between a complicated apparatus. Bands of steel wrapped around her, binding her to the table.

Mike: Now all they need is a bolt of lightning...

Mackie sat on a stool over by the computer. "Ready when you are, Sis."
She still almost called it off, right then. But, in the hallmark of true bravery, pushed past her fears. There will be no Largo. Nor Reika either.

Allegra (in spooky voice): There is only Zoor!

In a very real manner, she was just following her fathers dream to its ultimate conclusion. Man, controlling his evolution via technology.

Crow: And we all know how that turns out.
Mike: Oh?
Crow: Yep. THX-1138, Ghost in the Shell...want me to keep going?

"Go."

Allegra: We'd like to, but we're locked in here.

Priss nodded to the other two Knight Sabers. "That's our cue. Time to take out their eyes and ears."

Servo: So Priss stripped and began singing.

Linna and Nene nodded in understanding. It hadn't been too difficult to spot the spies that were watching the building.

Crow: The black hats give 'em away every time.

Luckily, they had no idea that Sylia also owned the buildings behind the Silky Doll.

Mike: Sylia's the Leona Hemsley of the 21st century.

-
They surrounded the last spy in fairly short order. He looked quite upset as he kept asking for status updates through a walkie talkie.

Servo: TK-421, why aren't you at your post? TK-421, do you copy?
Mike: I thought you were out of Star Wars riffs.
Servo: I was keeping that one in reserve.

A large semi-auto rifle was leaned up against his leg. His dark eyes danced around the roof top as if he expected to be attacked at any moment. So he wasn't too terribly surprised when three figures came bouncing over the edge of the room.

Mike: Speak of the devil, and the devil appears.

"This one's alive!" Nene called out.

Servo (Nene): But not for long!

That didn't stop her from pointing her laser at him.
"So we give him the option of leaving." Priss also had her right arm pointed at him. Whether she planned on using her plasma cannon or rail spikes, only she knew.

Allegra (Priss): Hmm. Which one leaves a bigger exit wound?

Linna didn't say anything, but almost danced on her toes in readiness.

Crow (Linna): Can I kill him? Please? Please?

"I'm going to give you five seconds to drop your weapons and leave.
Quickly."

Mike (Priss): Five, four...one! FIRE!

The guy smiled cockily and put the rifle to his shoulder. "Can't do that, I'm afraid." With a startling quickness, he fired as full spray of bullets at the blue hardsuit in front of him.
"That wasn't too bright, buddy." Priss took carefully measured steps toward him.

Mike: Where did the bullets go?
Crow: I can't believe it! He missed the barn!

The gun clattered to the ground. "Nah, I was just told that I'd better at least put up a fight. If you don't mind, I'm going now."

Allegra: You sure are! Right off the top of that building!

"Orders, huh? Life sucks for you."
"Please don't say that."

Servo (Priss): Hee hee. I made a funny.

-
"Sis, your pattern is in a highly agitated state. I'm going to have to abort for now," Mackie said suddenly. His hands typed and reversed the process in just a minute. He looked over at the figure lying on the table. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Servo: Anymore?

"No."

Mike: Since he reversed the process, shouldn't that be "On?"

The silence stretched out longer and longer, widening uncomfortably between them.

(Allegra looks at her nails. Mike drums his fingers on the side of his seat. Servo looks up and begins counting holes in the ceiling. Crow hums the theme from Jeopardy.)

"Come on, Sylia. You know that this can't work unless you're calm."

Mike (turning to Servo): Any Yoda riffs, and it's no RAMchips for a month.
Servo: But...

Sylia stared at the metal ceiling. "I know." The silence stretched out even further. "I'm scared." That had hurt to admit. She was supposed to be the one in charge, the one who didn't need help.

Allegra: This fic would make anyone seek therapy.

Mackie looked at her with worry written all over him. "I think I understand."
"No, you don't."

Crow: Yes, I do!
Servo: No, you don't!
Crow: Yes, I do!
Servo: Okay, maybe you do.

"How can I help you if you don't tell me!" Mackie threw up his hands in disgust.
Sylia didn't respond. Her eyes were closed as her mind raced for some solution to the problem.

Allegra (Pooh Bear): Think...think...think...

She almost jumped in shock when she felt a warm hand take her own in its grasp. She turned and looked in surprise.

Allegra: John!
Mike: Marsha!

"Please, tell me. I'm your brother. I want to help."
"I... I've always been scared of what father did to us. Making us part machine."

Crow (Kenobi): He's more machine than man...twisted and evil.
(Mike throws up his hands in disgust.)

It felt like she was opening an old wound, the pain tearing at her. The pain was almost debilitating.

Servo (Spock): The pain...THE PAIIINNN!

"And this is worse, because you're choosing to become one of your own free will."
Sylia nodded slowly. "Ever since Largo, the dreams came back.
Nightmares, really. They're always the same."

Allegra (Sylia): I'm wearing lederhosen in a vat of sour cream.

She gulped loudly, swallowing a breath she really didn't need. "I wake up and go to have breakfast. You or one of the girls is there and we are chatting, when I realize something is... wrong. Sometimes, it is red or gold eyes. Or maybe I can see silver veins under their skin."

Mike: Sylia needs to lay off the drugs.

"My god..." Mackie hadn't thought that Sylia had any fears like this.
She was always so calm, so collected, even during combat.
"But that isn't the worst. I realize that they... they've become monsters, soulless creations. Sometimes, it seems like I fight and even win, k-killing the... other times I can't get to the hardsuits and...
and they chase me, catch me. And I can feel them stripping me

Crow: Say WHAT?

of flesh.

Crow: Oh. Ew.

When they're done, I hear... him. Laughing and mocking me."

Allegra: I fart in your general direction! I wave my private parts under your auntie's nose!

She stops for a second, as if trying to gain her courage back. "S-
sometimes it's Mason. Most of the time, it... it's Largo. He's laughing and talking about 'the look of the victor.' And in his eyes, I see myself. I... I've become some sort of monstrous boomer, that looks barely human. But it has my face, with glowing red eyes!" Sylia took in a sobbing breath of air.

Mike: Damn...it's so SAD! Sniff...
Allegra: There, there, Mike.
Mike: Can't help it...I'm a sensitive guy...

"Sylia, you would never do that!"
"I didn't think Mason would kill thousands of people just to try and get the OMS either."

Crow: Why does anime always have thousands of thousands of people getting the ick?

"Mason was a monster. He murdered and killed dozens of innocent people.
Becoming a boomer just let him do the things that he'd only dreamed that he could do. I have faith in you Sis. You're stronger than Mason." He squeezed her hand again. "If you like, I'll stay here, holding your hand."

All: "I'll keep you by my side/my superhuman/kryptonite!"

For the longest moment, she didn't say anything. Almost sobbing, she nodded. "Please. Don't let me go."
"Just a moment. Let me get set up." He moved the keyboard and monitor so that he wouldn't have to leave her side.

Mike (Mackie): Sorry, sis...gotta check my email.

He then gripped her hand tightly and started the process. He breathed a sigh of relief as he saw that Sylia was finally calming down. The process would work.
Almost an hour later, Mackie yawned. Hopefully, they were finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

Servo: Too bad it's an oncoming train.

Three more minutes and they were done. And it looked like they had cleared out all of the watchers.

Allegra: Good. I never liked those guys on the show anyway.

A small rustle of clothing was his only warning of an attack, as his head was struck savagely, smashing his face against the screen.

Crow: Daaamn! Death by pixels!

Rumio looked around at the different advanced looking electronics. The young man groaned on the ground and then collapsed fully into unconsciousness.

Mike: That'll teach him to sit too close to the screen.

"Timing is everything," she said to herself with a wry grin. She looked behind herself to see the portal in the air fading out.

Crow: Kewl! It's Blink!

It would cost her a pretty penny to replace the item she had just used.
But, if it advanced her in the Jihad, it would be more than worth it.

Allegra (Rumio): Then maybe they'll let me join the Taliban!

Rumio looked at the two figures laying on the ground. One was obviously a boomer. The other was Sylia, laying still, as if one of the truly dead.
Her eyes plumbed the comatose figure with senses far different than merely mortal eyes. Sylia's aura looked oddly muted, almost nonexistent.

Crow: Hey, Allegra! What's my aura look like right now?
Allegra: Beats me.
Crow: You're no fun.

Shrugging, she turned the chair around, sat down and bit deeply into her neck.

Servo: Wow! Talk about double-jointed!

Within a minute, she felt the blood was fully drained from the body.

Servo: What? Did she just commit suicide? How the... (smoke begins to rise from his dome)
Mike: No, no. She bit Sylia.
Servo: Oh. Whew

Focusing deeply, she continued to drain the body. Even though she had drained her dry of all blood, to gain her essence, her power, she would have to take Sylia's soul into herself.

Allegra: Dammit! Aren't there any decent vampires in this fic?

After just a few moments, there was nothing left except for a corpse. A decaying corpse without a spark of life left within in it.

Mike: I kill you dead!

Rumio frowned. She had thought that she would feel something after diablorizing Sylia.

Crow: The monster! She turned Sylia into a computer game!

It could be possible that she had not done the act correctly or that it had just failed. It was supposed to be quite hard to accomplish at times.

Allegra: Boy, tell me about it.
(Mike looks at her and scoots over next to Tom.)

She shook her head in frustration. To take such risks with no reward was disheartening.
Suddenly, the metal bands holding the boomer snapped from behind her as she broke free.

Mike: Oh, what the hell. Look out! She's loose! She'll tear us all apart!
Servo: Mike! Welcome to the club.
Mike: Why should you guys have all the fun?

Cables snapped free as Sylia jumped to her feet clumsily. "What did you do to Mackie?" Anger welled up in her. How dare she attack her brother.
Rumio looked on the boomer with disdain. "He's merely unconscious.

Allegra (Rumio): He also has massive head trauma and he'll need false teeth. But that's no big deal, right?

He will have to live with her death on his conscious. That is far more punishment than he deserves for being dragged into this hellish nightmare that I live in."

Crow: So...you're punishing him for something he didn't do?

Sylia's eyes narrowed and then relaxed. "Fine. You killed her, so why don't you leave."
Rumio eyed this strange boomer warily. This one was not acting normally.

Servo: Yeah, it's carrying on decent conversation and hasn't blown anyone away yet.

She blinked in surprise as she noted the vibrant aura, rich with the texture of feelings and life around it. "What are you? No... who are you? You couldn't be..."

Allegra (Rumio): W-Walt Disney?

Sylia tightened her muscles in preparation for to fight.
"How? How can you be free of this cursed existence!" Rumio screamed,
eyes flashing with an eerie scarlet hue. She struggled with the monster within her, almost attacking Sylia in a frenzy as she was so infuriated about her escaping the torture of being a vampire.

Mike: Plot twists galore!

Long seconds passed.

Crow: Long, long seconds.

"I do not know if it would work for a normal vampire. As I told Devin, I haven't been fully human since I was a girl.
My father created the original boomer, you know. Most of the actual designs for their minds are based on his technology. The same technology that replaced my flesh and blood brain with a neural computer."

Servo: Hey, it's Data's mother!

"A cyborg? But most cybernetics are useless after being embraced. The vampire body does not know how to use them." Rumio looked confused. The cybernetics boom from a few years ago had taught the vampires a few things about technology that they had been unprepared for.

Allegra: Metal body+mouth cannon+unhinged brain=wrong guy to bite.

"That term will have to suffice. And for over a day, my mind did not know how to control that body.

Crow: That must have been fun to watch.

I finally adapted. But, because of that unique situation, I could transfer my 'programming' to a different body.
The risks were less than staying a vampire."
"You... how dare... I'll crush your heart in my hands, you abomination!"

Allegra: I resent that!

Rumio face distorted, her fangs extended. Her hand we curled into claws as she hunched over.

Crow: We did?
Servo: How did we do that? Let's do it again!

"BACK OFF."

Mike: And Yosemite Sam walked into the room.

The high pitched whine of capacitors charging broke the stillness, as the dark blue hardsuit bracketed the vampire in her sights.
Rumio cursed to herself. The three hardsuited figures standing at the doorway put her at a severe disadvantage.

Servo: Oh, c'mon! You can take 'em!

The olive green one stepped into the room carefully, her own arm cannon raised and primed.

Allegra (Linna): One of these shells has your name on it. The others just say 'occupant.'

Behind them stood the much smaller red suit.

Servo: Whimpering and cowering.

Her decision was taken from her by this damned circumstance of fate.
"Fine. I'm out of here."
Sylia stepped carefully, making sure to stay out of the line of the heavy weapons. "Stop. I want your word of honor, that you will never come back here, that you will never attack us. Also, that you will tell them that I died at your hands."
"No."
"You won't leave this room alive unless you do."
The two women glared at each other, determined figures carved by harsh events into strong willed antagonists.

(Servo whistles the theme to "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.")

"You have my word of honor that I will abide by all of your demands.
Damn you." Rumiko grit her teeth in anger, her fangs showing.

Mike: That's bad for your teeth, you know.

"Hopefully not. MegaTokyo does not need another Largo."
Rumiko narrowed her eyes at that odd pronouncement. Her back stiff, she pushed her way beyond the armored warriors.

Allegra: Somebody woke up on the wrong side of the coffin this morning.
Mike: Is that the end?
Servo: Looks like it.
Crow: Capital. Let's book.

(Door sequence...I'll actually come up with one next time. Promise. Really.)

"So, Mike? How're you feeling?" Dr. Forrester leered into the screen. "Broken? Terrified? Nauseous?"
"Nope, nope, and maybe a little." Mike ticked them off on his fingers.
"Well, that's progress." Forrester looked pleased.
"Hate to burst your bubble, Dr. F, but that's because I watched Allegra drinking blood."
"Hmpf. I should have known. You have to have a brain to be afraid." Forrester tried to look around through the viewscreen, past Mike. "Speaking of your blood-swilling houseguest, where is she? If you won't bow down before me, perhaps she will!"
Mike had the sudden urge to charge the screen shouting "NOOO!" but he fought it off. "Last I saw, she was with Crow and Tom."
Crow and Tom, of course, chose that moment to come onto the bridge. Both wore long, black overcoats and had fake fangs in their mouth, having spraypainted their faces white. Crow stalked forward, trying to look menacing, as did Tom, but Tom had accidentally sprayed over his dome, and promptly began colliding into things. Mike caught him and began wiping off the paint with a corner of his jumpsuit.
"Check it out, Mike! We're creatures of the night!" Crow glared at Dr. Forrester. "Look into the eyes of the Crow and despair!"
Forrester grinned evilly. "Just for that..." He looked offscreen. "Frank! Bring me another fic!"
"But...but we already had one," Tom spluttered.
"Tough! Quantity has a quality all its own!"
"We have a union!" Crow protested.
"You haven't paid dues in over a year," Forrester countered.
"Crap. He's got us there." Tom sighed. "Well, Mike, I guess you'd better get out my box of spare heads...today's going to be a bloody one."
"Not so fast," Mike said. "Dr. F, how about if we found something that could scare you, you'd give us the rest of the week off."
Forrester yawned. "Oh, spare me, Mike. I'm evil, remember? Nothing frightens me."
"So we've got a bet?"
Forrester dithered a moment, so the Bots promptly began to heckle him, making chicken noises. Forrester's mouth curled into a snarl. "Fine. If I win, you get to watch this Demon Beast Invasion/Gundam Wing crossover I've been saving for just such an occasion. Bring out your oh so scary thing, Mike." Forrester did a horrible playact of being frightened.
"You asked for it." Mike raised his voice. "Will our mystery guest sign in, please!"
In walked Pearl Forrester. She faced the screen and shrilled, "Clayton! Just WHAT do you think you're doing down there?"
"M-Mother?" Forrester shrank back from the screen, backing up against a lab table. "W-What are you doing-"
"Don't raise your voice to me, young man!" She peered at the screen. "Just look at that lab! What a pigsty! I work my fingers to the bone for you, and for what?"
"I don't-" Forrester began.
"Shut up! You just wait until I get down there, and you're in for it, buster! And-"
TV's Frank walked into view. "Here's the fic, Dr. F, and-" He looked at the screen. "Hey, it's your mom!" He waved. "Hi, Mrs. Forrester!"
"Oh, and just WHO is this?" Pearl shrilled.
"Wait a second." Frank looked closer, then laughed. "Hey, nice one, Allegra! You look just like her! Need to work on the voice, though. Not grating enough."
Pearl's form dissolved to Allegra. "Well, Frank, I just had some old .wav files to work off of, and-"
Forrester lunged at the screen. "It...you...oh, you're going to get it now, skunk-girl! You and your little friends, too!"
Mike shook his head. "Uh-unh. We had a deal. We scared you."
Frank nodded. "Gee, Clayton, I haven't seen you this scared since the last time your mother came. You gotta admit, Allegra did a good job! She was really just as hideous and nerve-wracking as the real item!"
Crow moved closer to the screen. "Hey, Dr. F. He's talking about your mother."
Forrester looked daggers at Frank, who swallowed audibly and began moving back. "Nobody talks about Mom. Push the button, Frank, then I'll give you a ten-second head start." He lifted a baseball bat.
"Er...okay, Dr. F..."

FWOOSH!
CRACK!
"Ow! Dr. F, you said ten seconds!"
"Shut up and hold still!"

Whew! Finally done! It only took a few months or so. Next time I won't take so long. Hope you enjoyed my first MSTing. You can send C&C to if you like. I don't appreciate flames...I'm sorta allergic to them, you see.
Special thanks go out to Kyle Jigoten, who had the courage and intestinal fortitude to beta test this monolith, Arthur Hansen for letting me MST his story (it's actually quite good, really), Best Brains for coming up with all this to begin with, and to all the wonderful folks at SVAM who continue to put up with me, despite all reason and the fact that I didn't know what a cabbit was.
And I'd like to thank the Academy for this special award, and...oops. Wrong speech.
Mystery Science Theater 3000 is owned lock stock and two smoking barrels by Best Brains, Inc. Bubblegum Crisis and all related characters are property of Youmex and Kenichi Sonoda. Vampire: The Masquerade and the World of Darkness and all related references are property of White Wolf Game Studio. "Nightfall Wars" is the property of the author, and it's actually a pretty good story.
Allegra is copyrighted by me, Ben Da Mad Irishman. So there.
Sayonara!

"My name is Devlin of Clan McQueen. And... I am a vampire."